A month after I ran into Renée at the wedding, I make my way to the bookstore. After years of writing, I finally finished my book: Themis's Return. I started to write it around the time I met Renée. It's about the Greek gods and how they are lost without the order of Themis, so they try to find her. The book isn't popular, but it's okay. The owner of the bookstore asked if I wanted to sign some copies.

As I enter the store, I am greeted by the owners. Their cat lays on the counter, purring in the sunlight. 'Hi,' I greet them back. 'We put up a table on the first floor, you can sign the books there.' I nod and make my way to the table. As I take a seat, a voice startles me. 'So you finished it?' Renée asks. I nod. She takes a seat in front of me. 'I'll guess I have to read it then, I only read the first few chapters,' she says and takes one of the books. 'Let me sign it first,' I say and take the book out of her hands.

I sign the first page and give it back to her. She mumble a thanks. She's silent for a while as I sign the other copies the owner put on the table. 'I am sorry if I was a little harsh at the wedding,' Renée apologises. A smile forms on my mouth. 'It's okay. You had every reason too.' Renée nods, thankful.

'Are you still feeling lost?' I carefully ask. 'Yup,' she says and opens the book to look at a random page. 'Do you need someone to guide you?' I ask. 'Why? Do you have someone in mind?' Hope fills her eyes. 'Me.' Renée doesn't answer, she looks like she doesn't know what to say. 'We can just be friends.' I regret saying that. 'Ah. Okay,' she chuckles a little nervous. 'Thank you,' she says and closes the book.

We talk a little about things when I finish signing the books. 'I am sorry about Molly,' she says, referring to my cat whom died two years ago. 'I saw it on your Instagram, I never really unfollowed you. I am sorry, that's weird.' She moves to stand up. 'No, it's not weird. Thank you,' I say and close the last signed book. We get up and go to the counter where Renée buys my book. I feel bad, I could just gift her the book.

We walk out of the bookstore and look at each other. 'Does your offer to hang out still stand?' Renée asks. Her light brown eyes search mine hopeful. 'Of course. I have time now,' I say. I want to start jumping around in happiness, but I keep myself composed and just smile softly. Renée starts smiling. 'Me too.' We start walking to a little café on the corner of the street, they have the most delicious coffee and tea. There are also sandwiches, Renée like sandwiches.

'So did you move to the city or are you just here for a day?' Renée asks, looking at our feet that matched the same pace. I notice her socks and how they are the same, not mismatched like I know her. 'Yeah, I rent an apartment with Simon and Jennifer,' I say and look at her. Renée nods. 'Cool,' she mumbles and walks into the café. She picks a table and takes a seat. I sit in the chair across from her.

'Why did you change your socks?' I blurt out as Renée takes the menu. Renée looks up, startled. She then proceeds to look at her feet and the white socks. 'Don't know,' she says and looks back at the menu. No wonder she is feeling lost. 'Did someone make fun of your socks?' I ask and take a look at the menu myself. Renée puts down her menu to look at me.

'I got made fun of. I wasn't taken seriously. They called me a child, not supposed to be there. So yes, people made fun of my socks. Not just my socks though, my whole being.' The waitress stands next to our table, ready to take our order. 'A latte macchiato and a ham sandwich, please,' Renée says and puts the menu down again. 'A green tea and a piece of cherry pie,' I say. The waitress smiles friendly and nods before disappearing again.

'You eat meat now?' I ask surprised. Renée looks down at her hands. She looks like she is going to cry. I can't help but feel guilty. If I would've been there for her, maybe she would still be Renée. The Renée I know is completely gone. 'You have changed a lot, you don't seem like yourself anymore.' I blurt it out. I don't care if she is going to be mad at me. I want the old Renée back. 'I know,' she whispers. 'Why do you think I am so lost?'

I want to hug her, but stay seated. Renée puts her hand in her pocket and takes something out of it. She lays it on the table and I recognize the necklace I gave her. 'I never took it off until the wedding. I didn't want your new girlfriend to think anything weird. You should have it back now.' My eyes widen as Renée slides the necklace to me over the table. I lay my hand on my chest where I can feel my necklace underneath my dress.

'I never took it off either,' I say and take the bead from my necklace and place it on top of my dress. 'Oh,' Renée says, quickly taking her necklace from the table and holding on to it. And then there's something I have missed in a really long time. One of our many silences, not needing to speak to each other, but still feeling comfortable. I look at Renée when I hear her sobbing quietly. Before I know what I am doing, I stand up and hug her.

Renée gently holds on to my arm and leans with her head against my shoulder as I let her cry it all out. I try not to cry myself, but a few tears do escape my eyes. The waitress puts our orders on the table and then leaves before briefly smiling at us. I mouth a thanks, but keep hugging Renée.

Once she stopped crying, she still holds on to me. 'I missed you, a lot.' I loosen our hug to look at her. 'I missed you a lot too,' I say and kiss her cheek gently before returning to my seat. Renée smiles softly at me. I am mad at myself for ever letting her go. Before I take a sip of my tea, I smile back at her.

Later that evening, Renée and I stop by my apartment. She was curious, I could tell. We decided to catch a film, but I wanted to get a jacket first. I open the front door and let Renée and myself in. 'I am home!' I shout. Startled Renée takes a step back. Simon and Jennifer come to the kitchen as I put my handbag on the counter. They greet me and then look surprised over my shoulder.

'OMG! Are you two back together? Finally! You can't believe all the pining we endured these last years,' Jennifer says. Renée bites her lip. 'We aren't together,' I say. I can see the guilt and disappointment on my friends' faces. 'Still glad, you are back,' Simon says and then takes a seat on the couch, dragging Jenny behind him.

I go to my room to find a jacket and Renée follows me. 'All the pining, huh?' she asks and grins at me. I want to bury myself in my closet and never come out again. 'Guess you haven't talked to Colin. He was tired of my pining too,' Renée chuckles. I laugh too. Once I find my jacket, we make our way to the cinema.

We get some popcorn and drinks after we bought our ticket and find our seats. I notice that Renée is wearing her necklace again. She must've put it on when she went to the bathroom. The lights turn of and the screen lights up. The film starts, but I can't look at it. I look at the person next to me. It's seems so unreal that she is sitting here, that she wants to hang out with me. I feel nineteen all over again.

Is it possible to fall in love with her again? So soon? Or has the feeling never left?

After the film Renée walks me home. 'I am going to do a zookeeper's course. That's what I wanted all along, I just took a very long detour,' she announces. I nod and smile. 'Do you want to do something tomorrow?' Renée asks as we approach my building. 'I have to work, but I can do something in the evening.' Renée starts smiling and nods. 'Okay. I'll pick you up at eight?' she asks with a big smile. 'Sounds great,' I say and unlock the door.

I turn around to say goodbye. Renée hugs me. I hug her back tightly. For years I have missed her hugs, she is the best hugger. 'Okay, bye then,' Renée says blushing. 'See you tomorrow,' I say and watch her leave before I go inside. Simon and Jennifer look at me. 'Did you kiss?' 'Did you hold hands?' Jennifer asks. 'No. We just hugged a couple of times,' I say and walk past them to get a drink.

'She seems like a hugger,' Simon says. They follow me around. 'Stop following me,' I say as I can't reach the fridge to put the bottle of coke back. 'Are you getting back together? I think you should.' I look at Simon. 'I don't know,' I say and put the bottle in his hands for him to put it in the fridge.

I leave my two nosy friends and make my way to my bedroom where I change into my pyjama's. After I am settled in bed, I take my phone and go to Instagram where I follow Renée again. Almost immediately she sends me a message.

I had a great time today :D

I am sorry for my crying though

Also, I started to read your book,

it's better than I can remember!

I had a great time too!

Don't ever apologize for crying,

you know you don't have to do

that with me

Thanks x

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