Every time I had sex with someone who was not my mate, I would get this searing pain throughout my body like I was getting punished for doing so and I knew I was.

It was the Goddess' way to remind me that I should work harder in finding my mate so that I wouldn't get this fucking blistering pain in my body for fucking someone who I was not destined to be with. I was not the only one who felt this way, all werewolves were cursed to be like this and I as the future leader of the pack with an alpha blood running through my veins should know better to control myself.

But what can I do?

My body yearned for warmth. The partners I have been with were only substitutes for my mate because even though their bodies kept me alive, I can never be satisfied. I know that only my mate can provide me with what I desired and needed.

There was no cure for a wolf who yearns for his mate, no woman nor man could fill the growing hole in my soul and heart. It was like an incurable disease that even though you take medicine to relieve the symptoms, you'll only add more burden to your body and worsen your condition.

When I found Ark as a dog, I know I was shocked to see him as a puppy but then there was this other feeling that cured that emptiness I was feeling and made me forget about my current girlfriend, it was the feeling of warmth...a true one. I felt so alive, I felt the joy rushing to my aching heart and for the first time...I felt satisfied.

I can't lose him now...

I can't make the only person who made me content leave me because of my past mistakes.

I love Ark! I love him so much that it was impossible for me to live another day without him. I want to run away from all of this trouble and just live with Ark far far away from all this shit.

But can he forgive me?

I've hurt him so much...

Seeing him like this made me wonder if I was suited to be mated to him...

I don't want to cause him so much pain...

I don't know what to do...

What should I do?

"Let me out..." Cerberus whispered.

"What?"

"I said let me out...let me talk to him. I know he won't listen to you so it is no use if you beg him for forgiveness."

I was too tired and emotionally unstable to argue with Cerberus so I let his physical form take over. The familiar cracking of bones together with the excruciating pain occurred, I groaned until the turn was over.

Cerberus was out and I was in a dark place where I usually stay when I'm in the spirit form. In one side of this place, I could see what Cerberus sees, it was like his vision was also mine. Ark was looking at us in shock. He stumbled back and landed on his butt. His eyes were wide and teary and his mouth was hanging open.

"My beautiful mate, my only love, please don't be mad anymore," Cerberus cooed.

"Lu-Luka?" Ark called out. He slowly raised his hand and cautiously placed it on Cerberus' face. My wolf tilted his head where Ark's hand was.

"No...I am Luka's wolf, Cerberus, I believe that we have already met each other, you must have forgotten." That was right, it had been awhile since Ark saw Cerberus.

Our mate nodded, Cerberus moved closer to the sitting form of Ark, two of his front legs were either side of Ark's legs. He placed his nose against his own and I just realized how my wolf tripled Ark's size. "Come with us Ark, let us run far away from here for a while. Just us," Cerberus whispered in his rough and beastly voice. "Hop on my back."

Ark nodded, he looked like he was reluctant at first but he did what he was told and Cerberus started to run. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"I have no fucking idea! "

"Wow, just wow."

Cerberus scoffed. "You're the one to talk when you're the one who caused this mess between our mate. You really want to grow old alone don't you?"

That hit a spot in my heart. Yeah...I should lay low for a while and let this horn dog take care of this. I don't have the right to talk to Ark for now.

"That's right, face the wall and think about your stupidity."

You could literally see a thundercloud above my head because of depression.

Cerberus continued to run, jumping from one fallen trunk of a tree to another. Groups of deers scattered away when they saw Cerberus' big form, even a bear got intimidated by his size.

"Yeah baby, see this dick? It's huge right? Want me to smack it at your face big boy?"

I rolled my eyes. I was not talking about the size of his dick but this was Cerberus we're talking about. Ask him what size even though you're referring to his height and he'll tell you that he was eleven inches. The bear growled deeply and ran for his life, Cerberus laughed victoriously and my heart softened from hearing Ark's chuckling.

"Having fun, Ark?" Cerberus asked.

"Yes, yes! Faster! Faster!" he laughed.

"Oh shit I think my dick twitched from that," Cerberus mumbled.

"He's asking you to go faster in the running, dick head!"

"Oh? I think I understood that in another way," he said. I looked up as if looking for the goddess' answer and sighed 'why?' Why the fuck did she had to watch porn in National Geographic channel? Why? WHY?!

We entered a grassy field and Ark gasped when we got a glimpse of a huge lake just behind the trees across the grassy fields. "Cerberus! I wanna go there!" he cheered like a child.

"Of course, hold on tight!" Cerberus replied enthusiastically.

My eyes widened from how wide the lake was and it was surrounded by mountains and tall pine trees. It looked like no one had ever found this place yet. Lucky. The water was clear and blue as the sky. Ark hopped off of Cerberus and went to the edge of the lake, dipping his hand in the water.

"So cold!" he giggled. "Can I swim?" he asked Cerberus.

Cerberus nodded and Ark started to strip. With every clothing he removed, his delicious alabaster skin was revealed. I could feel myself harden when Ark bent over to remove his pants and boxers off, my eyes feasting on his soft round globes of ass.

"Enjoying the torture?" he teased me.

"Shut up!"

Ark lowered himself in the water and Cerberus went to the edge of the lake and sat. I was surprised that Ark can tread. "Cerberus, come in!" he cheered. Cerberus shook his head.

"No, thank you, I'll just watch you," Cerberus said.

His voice was a little shaky, well I can't blame him. We both can't swim. Hilarious right? A future Alpha who can't even swim, I should really take swimming lessons if I plan to be a better and capable leader.

Cerberus sighed, we watched Ark play in the lake, he occasionally would splash water towards my wolf and Cerberus had no other actions but to shake the water off his fur, getting revenge on Ark in the process.

I loved seeing Ark so happy and so carefree and if I had to stay as a spirit for a while to make him feel better than I would.

But...the unexpected happened, Ark suddenly pulled Cerberus' front legs and threw him at the water far from the edge.

"Shit the kid is strong!" Cerberus growled.

I could still hear Ark's giggling, he must have thought that we knew how to swim. Cerberus struggled and used his legs to get in the surface but failed.

"Dammit, kick Cerberus! Don't be a pussy!" I snarled at him.

I don't want to die because of drowning and I'm sure my dad would even strangle my corpse if he found out that his proud son died because of drowning in the lake. I could imagine dad reviving me and killing me again just to show his anger.

Yep, dad looked harmless but then he was a spawn of Satan that was for sure.

"Then why don't we change places and see what you can do?!" He growled back. "Kid, I'm running out of oxygen, I'll die in this state! Change places with me!"

I groaned. I guess this was now or nothing. Cerberus and I changed places. He closed his mouth and resisted the urge to shout in pain since he'll just aspirate water.

Now, I could feel the coldness seeping in my body, my muscles tensed and my heart pounded in my chest so badly. Fear erupted, I couldn't breathe, I thrashed around under water and just when I started to give up, I could see Ark swimming towards me.

He grabbed my arms and wrapped one of his arms around my torso and swam to the surface. I wonder what will happen if I play dead? I closed my eyes and took slow, unnoticeable breathing.

"What are you planning?" Cerberus asked.

"I just want to see what Ark's reaction would be if I was unconscious."

Ark pushed my body up on land and straightened my feet. He was breathing heavily and sniffling. "Luka?" he called out and shook my body roughly as I stayed still. "Luka! No no, don't die! Please don't die! I'm sorry Luka!" he sobbed and buried his face on my cold chest.

He started to wail like a child and continued to shake me until I couldn't take it anymore and opened my eyes. I sat up, immediately taking him into a tight hug.

"Shh shh, it's alright Ark, don't cry anymore, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered to him breathlessly. Ark's body was shaking and at the same time he was hiccuping.

"I-I was scared! You wouldn't open your eyes Luka! Please don't do that anymore! I will be good, I won't be mad anymore, I-I-I promise! Just please don't leave me Luka..."

I stroked Ark's back and sat him on my lap. "You have every right to get mad at me Ark. I know what I did before hurt you and I am deeply sorry. You have to know Ark that I have never loved my past lovers as much as I love you. None of them matter now, only you. I only belong to you, okay? Please always remember that."

Ark calmed down a little but he was still hiccuping. "I-I understand. I'm sorry for getting mad at you Luka."

I smiled at him. "It's okay, I understand your reasons for getting mad at me as well."

"Yeah, because Luka here is a complete moron and a slut."

"I'm having a moment here, will you please shut up?" I barked.

"Sure, sure, take the spotlight diva," he drawled.

Ark and I stayed in this position for a while. It wasn't awkward, but I think it was just us taking the time with each other. My mate placed his hands on my chest and slid his palms slowly. "Luka...doesn't know how to swim?"

My cheeks began to burn. "A-ah yeah. Sorry about that."

Ark chuckled cutely and kissed my cheek. "I'll teach you! It is easy!" he cheered.

"Ark I-I don't think woah!" Before I could finish my sentence, Ark pulled us both down under the water.

Oh God, not again. My mate swam us up to the surface with me clinging to him like a koala. Funny, I was the six foot giant here yet I was wrapped around Ark like a snake. Ark laughed. I held on the edge of the land and panted.

"Luka is so cute!" Ark cupped my face and smiled. "Don't be afraid okay? I'm here Luka. Let's go!"

Seeing him determined to get me killed- I mean, teach me swim, who was I to say no? I guess I'll just consider this as punishment for my past doings.

"Luka! Don't sink!"