If Abir had to stop and look into his life from a third person perspective, even in the deepest of his memories, through his childhood, teenage and life after that, he could see only one presence constant throughout - his partner, Lord Krishna. Everyone else had either taken him for granted, or not taken him seriously enough to know how much he had craved just that. All, until an angry, violent chorni entered his life and swept him off his feet to a world where he was loved, valued and adored, and yet, to his misfortune, he had to literally put fire to his own world with his bare hands.

What no body seemed to notice after and through his devilish act was a very minute detail - putting fire with his bare hands didn't only burn his world, but also his own hands, and that crippled feeling in him, just wouldn't go away.

It felt like a noose around his neck, all the damn time - the guilt of breaking Mishti's heart, and her trust would feel like fire through his skin and nothing would soothe him. And if it wasn't her, Badi Maa and Bade Papa's faces had haunted his nights, he had let them down too - the two people who had actually filled in the shoes of his parents and had made him breath a bit normally amidst the fumes of his own toxic household.

He had spent the last three months, majorly in isolation, and his googles had done a good job hiding the bouts of tears he would have every now and then, but today, everything and everyone felt meaningless to him as he drove his jeep to the one place he hoped would hold him - even if it was the very place he had killed Mishti's spirit, and his own.

Parking at the lakeside, he felt a trembling memory comeback.

"Kyu mujhe apni Khushiyan tukdo me milti hai?"

Abir now chuckled at that, he didn't even deserve those pieces. Who was he kidding? If he had ever thought that talking about hopes and rainbow and love would bring them into his life too, life had, had a funny way of showing him the mirror.

A sob left him as he fell down on his knees, clutching Mishti's ear ring and the pendent tightly in his hand. His shoulders shook as he cried his heart out, murmuring only three words, 'I am sorry' again and again and again.
There were so many things he was sorry for, and so many people he was sorry to, he had now lost count.

In that moment, he only wanted that crippling pain he was feeling to be taken away, even if for just one moment. He wanted to breathe normally, just for a second, without this extra load he had been carrying around. And in that moment of his deepest despair, he called out the one name, albeit subconsciously, the one name that was his salvation.

"Mishti"

What he didn't expect at all, was Mishti to reply back with an equally devastating 'Abir' right back!

--------

Walking out of the house, Mishti stood transfixed in her spot for a while as she watched the two storey brick collection before her. It wasn't her home, was it? It was a house, and home of her Akshara Mami. Suddenly Mishti felt jealous of Akshara, of the loving family she had had.

Walking slow steps to her cycle, her thoughts drifted to the Singhaniyas. They too were a well knit family, they had loved her in the initial years of her life, hadn't they? Tears rolled down her cheeks as memories of her and her Gayu Di, Naira di and her BFF overwhelmed her. How had she gone from being everyone's favourite to having no one of her own, just like that?

As questions and confusions began to crumble her spirits yet again, Mishti did what she never thought she would. She texted Kartik, the one question that she desperately wanted an answer to.

"Was it that easy, BFF? To call somsone your own, hold them close and then push them away just like that? Was I just a way for you to be with Naira di, or ever, for one moment, you saw me as a person, as your BFF?"

Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, she began cycling around. Initially she had just wanted to clear her mind, to have some peace and time to think about everything that was happening or had happened, but she didn't realise when her mind and her body in sync had began tracing the path to the lakeside, the one place she had avoided visiting since she came back.

And she would have again today, if Abir's fallen figure on his knees hadn't caught her attention. Because no matter what she said, what her mind told her, with Abir, it was always her heart who won. And thereby, ignoring ever reminder of the pain and the flashes of the heartbreak, she took her steps forward until his weeping figure became the primary focus.

If there was one thing Mishti had learned over the last 24 hours, it was the fact that she absolutely detested the sight of Abir in tears. She took hurried steps towards him when she heard him choke and call out her name.

She didn't even realise when her voice, panicked and equally worried, called out for him too!

-------

"Mishti!"

"Abir"

Abir's head jerked up but before he could turn and understand anything, two soft arms had already held him tight, and he felt her breaths in the nape of his neck, giving him goosebumps allover.

"Mishti", he breathed, his tears falling endlessly as he stared at her, his hands finding their way to cup her face, and she was vaguely aware of the tremble in his touch.

"Mishti", he called again, touching his forehead to hers, holding her close, breathing in the proximity while he tried to take deeper breaths to calm himself down and tone down on his tears. He didn't want to make this about himself, he knew and understood that Mishti was a bigger victim and his need to soothe her was far more.

Mishti cried feeling his maddening touch over her face, she could read his panic in the he was holding her face, or the way his eyes were staring at her. In that moment, all her doubts vanished in thin air. Despite the family hindrances and despite his idiotic actions, Mishti could never deny his love. She knew he loved her more than he had loved anyone, and that though made her faintly smile.

"Ajeeb Rajvansh, Don't leave me again, please!", she mumbled and broke away from his hold to melt herself in his embrace. Abir tightened his arms around her, shaking his head, trying to comfort her.

"I won't, Angry Chorni. I promise I won't. I will never ever leave you", he whispered in her ears, and kissed the crown of her head, and when she broke the hug to look at him, he kissed her forehead, again and again, trying to calm her, and himself. Mishti's hold on the lapels of his shirt tightened as she closed her eyes to feel the touch of his lips against her skin.

"Sab yhi bolte hai, aur sab chodd kar chale jate hai mujhe", a sob escaped her as she opened her eyes to look into his red, puffy ones.

"Everyone leaves me, Abir, at one opportunity or the other. It is so easy to throw me out of their lives for everyone. It had been the easiest for my parents. Their own happiness, their own selfish needs were more important than their daughter Abir, imagine!", Mishti chuckled sarcastically,"Naira Didi and BFF also didn't ponder too much about letting me go, all the while claiming to love me. Pyaar aisa toh nhi hota na Abir? Their own lives had been difficult I know, I understand. But how hard it is to check on someone you say you love? And my supposed family? Devyani Dadi forgot completely about her own son and his daughter once she handed me over to Badi Maa. I miss Akshara Taiji the most, you know. If she had been alive, she would have protected me against ever one and everything. Maybe that's why it felt so easy to accept Badi Maa and Bade Papa, because they are her family. Her parents. And they did love me more than I thought I could have in my life Abir", this time she smiled wider and it made Abir smile back too, as he patted her head.

Sometime in between they had shifted to a more comfortable position, and now Mishti was sitting with her head on on Abir's chest, his one arm wrapped around her while the other played with her nimble fingers as he listened to her.

"But only them Abir. Somehow Varsha Aunty, Shourya uncle or Jasmeet Aunty never accepted me. After all I am the infamous 'Mubboli' and nobody questioned Kuhu's hatred for me either. I am no saint, but her hatred for me, her blames that I robbed her of her family, her spotlight - it irks me Abir. If I actually would have a sister, she won't speak to me like that? Siblings are like You and Kunal, not me and Kuhu. And no matter what I say, how strong I pretend to be, her words affect me Abir. She makes me feel so little about myself, I feel guilty for the measured love I receive. I am always on my toes, not wanting to disappoint anyone - not wanting to be called a burden they had to bear for no good", Abir didn't interrupt her, he hadn't realised there was so much about Mishti she didn't speak about. And now that she was, he only wanted to listen.

"But you had been my happy place Abir, since the very first day we met. Your friendship, your love - it made me love myself in a way I never thought was possible. I hadn't in my wildest dreams ever considered the possibility of you pushing me away too. That you would abandon me, break my trust and my heart Abir. If you do it again, what am I supposed to do? I can't live with that fear Abir, this fear was what should not have a place in our relationship. I should never feel afraid of your rejection, of you subjecting me to the pain of abandonment. If you do the same like everyone else in my life, how can I even - ", Mishti stopped dead in her tracks mid sentence, feeling the cold metal in Abir's palm. Somewhere between her rant, she had sat up and tried to interlace her fingers with his but now the sight of her ear ring and the pendant in his palm had shocked her.

The haunting memories of him pulling it off her neck to throw it in the lake terrorized her for a second, but she stared at him, unblinking, demanding an answer.

Abir only managed to smile, but the pain in his eyes intesnified.

"If you think I could breathe normally for one second after pushing you away, after abandoning you - like every other person in your life, Mishti, I-", he trailed off, could not finish the sentence because of the huge lump in his throat. The tears he was holding back rolled down her cheeks.

"Abir!", Mishti called out and didn't waste a minute embracing him again, this time har hand was in his hair as she ruffled him, but that kind of comfort, that kind of love only made Abir sobbed as he held on to her.

"I am sorry Mishti, I am really Sorry, but please don't leave me. I can't live without you Mishti, it suffocates me - my house, my family. I can't-", he wept harder into the hollow of her neck and Mishti cried with him, shredding tears of the distance they were forced to accept as destiny.

But they also knew, this was the last time they had let others meddle into their relationship. This time, Mishti promised herself not to question Abir if he decided to move away from Rajvansh house. She had realised it late, but she eventually had that sometimes our own happiness has to be kept above our responsibilities and duties, and this was one such time.

Abir smiled into the hug as he promised himself to never make Mishti cry again, at least not because of him. He was determined to be there of her through thick and thin. He would hold her hand through their life together, and this time, nobody was allowed to mess.

Nobody.