Mr. Taylor doesn't allow for talking during class today thankfully, so all I need to do before I can go to Ensemble Theater is run out the clock. For junior year English, he tells us that we will be focusing on American literature, starting with the transcendentalists, whoever they are. He passes out packets to each of us with an essay printed on them called "Self-Reliance," which he tells us will be due, read and annotated, by Friday.

One of the other students raises his hand and says, "You're giving us from Tuesday to Friday to read a packet? Are you sure?"

I mentally smack him for basically saying we were getting too much time to do a small task, until Mr. Taylor smiles and says, "Oh... you'll need it. This one is tough."

Looks like Thatcher and I will need some time in his shed to work through this one then, I think, and mentally remind myself to tell Thatcher in a few minutes as the bell rings for us to leave.

I start out and hurry into the hallway so I can make it to theater on time, but I hear a familiar voice call my name behind me. I slow down so Gina can catch up.

"What's up?" I ask, still hurrying. She keeps up with me, likely remembering how theater is literally in the farthest part of the high school from here.

"I was wondering if you had any plans this weekend, in case you wanted to hang out," she says.

"Oh, sorry, I can't. There's a theater party thing on Saturday," I say. Thank you Sean and Emma.

"OK, what about Friday? Girls night in like old times? There's this new show on Netflix I've been binging and I think you'll love it."

Darn it. Why didn't I just say no and leave it at that?

"I think Thatcher and I will probably want to hang out," I say. It's not a lie, since we probably will want to hang out, but it's not exactly the truth either.

"Fine, not this weekend, but I'm extending an olive branch, even though I feel like I've been punished enough," she says, stopping. I notice that she's no longer walking beside me, so I just wave goodbye and keep walking. This is such a typical Gina move: say something that makes you sound like you're a nice person and then punctuate it with a guilt trip. I'm not falling for it again. I just have to keep walking, and maybe ask for a seat change in English.

By the time I get to theater, I'm pretty annoyed that I even tried to sit with her yesterday, so it doesn't help that Paige is the one who greets me first as I walk down the stairs towards the stage where people are congregating.

"Hey Jane," she says. Her voice and smile seem equally fake.

I need to calm down, I think to myself, but my mouth is not with the program. "It's Janie," I reply.

"Janie, right, sorry." She smiles, crosses her eyes, and shakes her head as she says this. "Excited for the audition process to start?" she asks once her head and face stop being over-dramatic.

"You bet," I say, almost a little too sarcastically as I set my bag down on a seat in the front row.

"Hey Patti," Paige says, and I turn around to see Patti coming down the stairs toward us. "What about you? Are you excited about the audition process starting?"

Patti looks like she's seen a ghost. Her face is more pale than normal and her stare is wider than normal while she very clearly lies to Paige in a fully monotone voice: "Yeah. So excited."

I step toward Patti, passing Paige with a subtle but necessary nudge because she's standing, like, right at the end of the row, and place my hand on Patti's upper arm. "Are you OK?" I ask.

Patti looks at me like she's lost the ability to speak, and before she can find the words, the bell rings, and Mrs. Permala calls us all to sit down. Moth and Thatcher are coming in now and take their seats further up the rows while Paige and I stand on either side of Patti, guiding her into a seat between us.

"Welcome to the beginning of A Midsummer Night's Dream, thespians," Mrs. Permala says, cuing cheers from basically everyone except for me and Patti. What is going on with Patti? I'm way too distracted with worry to cheer right now. Unlike Paige. Just saying. Instead, I take Patti's hand and hold it tight.

"This week we will begin preparations for auditions and by Friday, we will be finished. By Monday you will all know your parts in the first of our four productions of the year."

While Mrs. Permala explains the timeline, I whisper to Patti, "I'm here for you no matter what."

She squeezes my hand, and whispers in reply, "No matter what?"

"No matter what."

She takes a deep breath, and a tear streams down her cheek. She bites her lip, before just barely whispering, "We'll talk at lunch."

I nod and squeeze her hand more tightly. What could possibly be going on? Maybe her parents are getting a divorce. Maybe she's just found out she's too sick to audition. I have no idea what's going on, and I feel more nervous now than I did standing up to Principal Howard on stage last year.

"This year," Mrs. Permala continues with her explanation, "we will be auditioning in pairs. I will present each pair with a scene to read for the audition, though you can decide who will read which part in the scene. You will not be cast with this partner, so not to worry, the process will remain fair and equal to each individual. However, this will save us time for the auditions and it will allow me to see how each thespian interacts in the scenes with another. Any questions?"

There aren't any.

"Perfection." Mrs. Permala places bright red reading glasses on the tip of her nose to read off the pairings. "Please listen for your names."

I listen only for my friend's names.

"Thatcher and Sean." That will be an awesome scene.

"Layla and Timothy." Oh man, poor Moth. At least Layla is legitimately good at acting, so it won't hurt him.

"Patti and Taylor." Oh no, Patti can't work with one of Layla's lackeys, I think, but she doesn't seem to react at all. She looks down at the stage floor, wide-eyed, like she has been since whispering with me. What is happening??

Then I hear my name: "Janie and Paige." No!

Paige leans over in her seat and looks at me with an open mouthed grin. I fake a smile in response.

"Please find your partner and sit together somewhere on the stage. I will be around to pass out the scripts once you are all together, after which time you may all get to work practicing," Mrs. Permala instructs.

Patti drops my hand and pushes herself to stand. She shuffles past Paige in the aisle and chases after Mrs. Permala, until she finally is able to get her attention and whisper something into Mrs. Permala's ear.

"What the heck is going on?" I ask to myself, though it's loud enough for Paige to hear.

"Maybe she's just really nervous."

I scoff. "Patti wouldn't be nervous." I feel slightly better about Paige's presence hearing how little she actually knows Patti. "Something bad is happening."

"Want to find a place on the stage?" Paige asks.

I nod, though I'm still focused on Patti. Whatever Patti has told her has sent Mrs. Permala into shock. They hug each other, and I can't tell if Mrs. Permala's shock is bending more toward sadness or happiness. She tells Patti that she can go up to her office, so Patti quickly turns to go up the stairs. It looks like she might be brushing tears from her face as she heads up, but I can't be sure since she's walking away from me.

Moth and Thatcher stop to check in with me before going onto the stage to meet their partners.

"What was that about?" Thatcher asks.

I shrug. "I have no idea, and I'm sort of freaking out about it."

"Couldn't she just be nervous?" Paige asks.

Moth and Thatcher both shoot her confused looks, and I smile behind Paige's back at their response.

"That's not a Patti mood," Moth says. "Unless this is another secret Hollywood experiment."

"Unlikely," Thatcher says. "Something has to be really wrong for her to be in Permala's office instead of the stage."

Mrs. Permala sees us all huddled together and gestures for us to join the rest of the class on stage. "Come along, thespians. We have a lot of work to do," she instructs us.

"She said she would tell us at lunch," I say as the four of us make our way onto the stage.

"Oh darn," Paige starts, "I have lunch during a different period."

"Too bad," I say.

"I will text you later," Moth offers as we all break up into our groups. Moth heads off to meet an eager looking Layla. She knows he's a good actor, she has to, plus he's cute, so she's probably really excited. Thatcher heads off to meet Sean, and I feel a pang of jealousy go through me. Not because Sean gets to be with Thatcher, but because Thatcher gets to be with Sean. I'd much rather be his partner than Paige's if I had to be partnered with someone I wasn't friends with yet. But here I am, sitting on stage with Paige right in front of where we were just sitting, waiting for Mrs. Permala to deliver the scene she and I would use to audition.

The two of us sit in silence while we wait, and when Mrs. Permala finally comes around with our scripts, I use the opportunity to try to learn what I can from her. "Is Patti OK?" I ask while taking my copy of our script.

"I am sure she will tell you later, Ms. Myers. For now, let's just focus on our scripts," she responds before walking away to the next group.

"Well, that wasn't helpful," Paige says.

I look up at the booth to see if I can spot Patti, but she's not in the window. "Nope," I reply. "So, I guess we should see what scene we have."

Paige is already reading through it. "Oh, this is a great scene," she says excitedly. "This is from the scene where Hermia and Helena are fighting over the boys."

Too real, Permala, too real, I think, but I say, "Good, that's a good scene."

It's only part of Act 3, Scene 2, when Hermia and Helena are both convinced the other is purposely trying to hurt them.

"Mind if I read Hermia's lines again?" she asks.

I agree, because this is the scene when Helena has a line that I love.

"Thank you," she says. "I think we should read through it to remind ourselves of what's going on in the scene, and then we should try to re-enact it in modern English so we can get the emotions right."

I don't want to admit it, but that's a good plan. So again, I agree.

Our script starts in the middle of a scene where all four of the lovers are arguing, but Mrs. Permala has blacked out all of the boys' lines so that it's just Hermia and Helena, and cut some lines, probably for efficiency. It begins:

HERMIA
O me, you juggler, you canker-blossom,
You thief of love! What, have you come by night
And stol'n my love's heart from him?

HELENA
Fine, i' faith!
Have you no modesty, no maiden shame,
No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear
Impatient answers from my gentle tongue?
Fie, fie, you counterfeit, you puppet, you!

HERMIA
"Puppet"? Why so? Ay, that way goes the game.
Now I perceive that she hath made compare
Between our statures: she hath urg'd her height,
And are you grown so high in his esteem,
Because I am so dwarfish and so low?
How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak!
How low am I? I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.

Paige laughs. "I love that insult. 'Painted maypole,' hilarious."

I smile along, and then read my next line, a little self-conscious at how slowly I'm reading this. Paige doesn't know I have dyslexia, so what if she just thinks I'm bad at acting or something?

HELENA
O, when she is angry, she is keen and shrewd!
She was a vixen when she went to school;
And though she be but little, she is fierce.

I love that line: "Though she be but little, she is fierce." It reminds me of myself last year during Romeo and Juliet.

HERMIA
"Little" again? Nothing but "low" and "little"?
You, mistress, all this coil is long of you.
Nay, go not back.

HELENA
I will not trust you, I,
Nor longer stay in your curst company.
Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray;
My legs are longer though, to run away.
(Helena exits)

HERMIA
I am amaz'd, and know not what to say.

As soon as Paige finishes the line, she says, "You know what? I changed my mind, I think that I should read for Helena and you should read for Hermia."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I'm taller than you, and that's, like, part of all of the humor in the scene is that they are taking jabs at each other's height. You know with the 'maypole' line and all the 'lower' lines? What do you think?"

Helena is the one who says "though she be but little, she is fierce," but it is about Hermia. "Sure," I agree.

"Great," she says with a smile. "Now let's just try to talk through the scene to get the emotions out. You start."

I check the script for the line, and then look back at Paige. I'm actually excited about this. "You jerk! Did you really come here to steal my love away from me?" I don't even need to act when I say this, the anger genuinely comes pouring out. She has come here to take my friends away from me, so it fits.

"What, are you going to tear the words out of my mouth? You fake puppet!"

"Fake puppet? Are you making fun at my height? You who are so tall and pretty?" Paige looks confused, and I realize that I've let a true insecurity slip out instead of just sticking with the lines. I continue, a bit embarrassed: "Well, I'm not so short that I can't claw your eyes out."

"Oh, you're really a villain when you're angry. You may be short, but you're fierce."

"There you go again, making fun of my height. You started this whole fight, so don't you turn around and go away now."

"No, I don't trust you anymore. You may be quicker to fight, but I'm faster at running away."

"I don't even know what to say," I finish.

"Good," Paige exclaims. "I learned how to do that at a Shakespeare camp I went to a couple of years ago. Did it help you?"

"Yeah. What do you mean, though?"

"Well, like, with the reading. Shakespeare is super tough, so it's hard for people to understand it the first time through or even to get through the reading."

I feel my cheeks heating up. Stupid maypole.

"I got it the first time," I say. "I just needed to hear it, because reading out loud can be tricky for people with dyslexia, like me."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know."

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean to be offensive."

"Well, being a nice person is super tough, so it's hard for people to understand how to do it the first time through."

She bites her lip and then covers her face. Not sure why. After a few moments of shaking her head, she takes her hands away, and I see her freckled cheeks are red now. "I'm so, so sorry. I feel like we got off on the total wrong foot and now you hate me."

True and true, I think.

"Can we start over?" she asks.

I want to tell her no and that we just need to get through this audition, but then I hear Thatcher's voice in my head telling me that if I just gave her a chance, maybe she and I could be friends too.

I exhale. "Yeah."

"Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm just a stupid," she stops to check the script, "canker-blossom. It's true."

I smile. "I can be a canker-blossom sometimes too, whatever that means."

She bites her lip.

I scoff. "Go ahead, tell me what it means."

"The blossom is Hermia's love for Lysander, and a canker is something that would destroy something else. So it's another way for Hermia to call Helena a destroyer of love." She finally takes a breath.

"Know it all," I joke.

She smiles. "Can I admit something to you? Since we are trying again?"

"Yeah."

"I knew your name was Janie, not Jane. I was feeling bitter, because after I left, the group got to be so much better and went on A Call from Midnight. So I was trying to be snide."

I knew it, I think. I knew she wasn't perfect.

"If we are being honest, I could tell. I didn't like you before that, though, because you said that I was watching the group while you were gone."

My heart freezes in temporary shock that I just admitted that to her, but she nods in acknowledgment.

"Yeah, that was my bitch side sneaking out."

I roll my shoulders in preparation for my next admission. "Mine snuck out when I pushed past you to get to Patti earlier."

Paige smiles. "Then we are even. Care to try the scene again?"

"Let's do it, maypole."

"Get us started, puppet."

I smile. Maybe she and I could be friends after all.