Chapter 8 ― Mila

It had to be the hangover because it wasn’t normal for me feeling like this. All those emotions that overcame me when Zayn hugged me, or that black and bitter feeling that filled my body when I saw the way he looked at Alex… those feelings weren’t normal. Those feelings weren’t okay. It wasn’t okay that I wanted to tell him to get over her, to move on and stop looking so hopelessly in love with her. It wasn’t okay that I was so pissed for all that.

It was incredibly irritating that with each second that passed, the fact that Zayn was head over heels for Alex annoyed me more and more. It wasn’t my business and most certainly it wasn’t a reason to be bothered. It wasn’t my life and I just met Zayn, I had nothing to do with what he felt for his best mate’s girlfriend or what he didn’t feel. Alex was my friend, but even though, it wasn’t my problem. Nevertheless, I was standing there, looking at Zayn, feeling all these emotions bubbling in my chest and a lump in my throat.

What was wrong with me?

“You see the same, right?” A voice asked next to me surprising me so much that I literally jumped up. I looked right and there it was Liam, his eyes on Zayn who kept sending glances at Niall and Alex. Those two were totally oblivious to this world.

“What do you mean?” I asked almost in a whisper, my attention back to Zayn who evidently was making an effort not to pay attention to the couple at his left.

“Zayn. He says that he’s over Alex, that he never liked her that much, that he was just confused, but he doesn’t fool me. I can see through his lies even if I don’t tell him that,” replied the brunet and I looked at him surprised. His tone was so deep and serious and it carried all the concern he felt for his friend. It was evident even for a blind person that Liam really cared for Zayn and what was happening to him.

“Evidently, he’s not over her. He looks at her like a puppy in need of love. It’s kinda sad,” I commented trying not to look in Zayn’s direction.

“Yeah, that’s another reason why I don’t wanna see him sad, you know? That’s why I asked you to clear things up with him ‘cos I know this is difficult for him.”

I nodded understanding what he meant. Zayn was completely alone in this, but by choice. He probably didn’t want the rest to pity him or he just didn’t want them minding his business; but I didn’t think it was good for him to face everything alone. That always bottled up inside and the moment when everything would explode was going to happen sooner or later.

“He’s in love with her,” I mumbled and my own tone surprised m… so bitter, so dark. Liam seemed to noticed it too because he gave me a weird look. Or maybe it was because of what I just said.

“You think?” Okay, it was because of what I said.

I nodded looking away from his intense scrutiny. “Yeah. It’s obvious he worships the floor Alex stands upon.” At those words my chest tightened and I felt like there was no room for my heart to beat. It hurt. It damn hurt. “And Alex knows that, too. Maybe she doesn’t know the extent of his feelings because he tries to hide it, but she knows that he still feels something for her.”

I knew Liam looked at me surprised. Who wouldn’t? I just met Zayn the night before and we were drunk ninety per cent of that time, the other ten per cent we were arguing. But for some reason, it was so easy to read him when he looked at Alex. Everything was so clear, like an open book waiting for me to read it.

“How can you be sure of that?” He asked me and I knew he was going to do that.

“First off, because I know Alex and even if she tries to hide it, she feels sorry for Zayn.” And that was why she set up our date, expecting I would be the girl who made Zayn forget about her. I still was a bit mad at her for that. “And for some reason, it’s really easy for me to see what Zayn is feeling when he looks at Alex. It’s weird,” I mused. “Maybe it is because I saw the same look too many times.”

My mind went to Moni, to that look in her face when she saw Tom Fletcher in pictures with his wife. Yes, she had never met him before but it amazed me the intensity of her feelings for him, how much she could love him without even knowing him in person. She looked at him the same way Zayn looked at Alex, with so much intensity and resignation at the same time. Both knew perfectly that they could do anything for the other person, but that they would never be together, that that other person wasn’t meant for them.

It always hurt me seeing Moni depressed because Tom would never love her when she could love him so much. I always hugged her and told her that someday she was going to meet her own Tom; but with Zayn I didn’t feel like telling him that everything was going to be fine, I just wanted to shake him and make him see that he needed to move on.

“You’re very observant. You just met him and you’re more conscious about this situation than any of the other lads,” Liam commented and I smiled weakly. Yeah, I was used to seeing things that no one else seemed to notice. Sometimes it was good and sometimes it sucked.

“I’m hungry! Let’s hurry up before the game starts!” Niall yelled surprising us all for a second before everyone started laughing at him. Alex just hugged him quickly before taking everything to prepare the BBQ.

Good. I was really excited for the game and those ninety minutes were I was going to forget about everything that was on my mind.

+ + + + +

“YOU FUCKING ARSE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?” I screamed at the top of my lungs and ready to throw everything at the telly, including one of the boys. The closest one was Louis, and probably he felt the danger of being closer to me because he put some distance between us.

I hated when Manchester played like that, always at the back, defending, defending and nothing else. Come on! They had to look for those goals if they wanted to win. Stupid team! What was wrong with them that day? Were they trying to copy Chelsea? This wasn’t like them; they always play to win. What was happening?

“Oh for the love of Loki! You can’t do that!” I screamed one more time, almost pulling my hair out and I heard someone giggling.

I looked at my left and there was Alex. All the rest were as desperate as I was and it was because my excitement at games always got to others. It was inevitable. Even Alex, who normally didn’t care a bit for football games, was all animated in this occasion.

“LOKI!” she screamed and giggled again. Yeah, she was giggling because we all had a few drinks more than we needed. “WHERE IS MY THOR!?” And she started to laugh like a hyena.

One of the things we had in common was our immeasurable love for The Avengers and for two particular Asgardians. I had to admit I had a slightly obsession with Loki and Tom Hiddleston, whilst Alex just was completely obsessed with Thor and Chris Hemsworth.

The rest of the guys just looked at us like we were crazy when we both just screamed of sheer excitement. And by scream I meant squeak like crazy people. If there was someone who could understand my love for the movie and those characters, it had to be Alex. And Moni. Sure, the day the brunette knew Alex also loved Thor, there was going to be war.

“Loki and Thor need to show them how to be men and play decently to these fucking twats!” I screamed holding Alex’s hand whilst the others were still laughing at us.

“You tell them, girl!” She replied with a horrible American accent.

“I never thought someone could get as excited as Alex for The Avengers,” Belle mused, being the calmest of our group.

I laughed and for the corner of my eye I saw Zayn’s smile and that ruined my mood, because I knew what he was thinking, how he was seeing the whole situation. He just saw how much I resembled Alex.

I didn’t want to think of that, I didn’t want to let Zayn and his inability to see me ruin a perfectly good game, so I focused again at the screen and, oh no, again! They missed another opportunity! “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! You can’t be that stupid and keep breathing! ARGH!” I screamed again, my voice louder than any other although they were all screaming, too. I had good lungs although I smoked a lot. It was due to my capacity to scream so loud that my doctor didn’t believe I smoked as much as I did.

It was evident I was very passionate regarding football, but that was one of the things it made it so fun for to others to watch a game with me. For example, all the guys were laughing at me and screaming as much as I did.

We kept watching the game and luckily for everyone, my team —yes, because Manchester was my team— won, otherwise there would have happened bad things in this world. Luckily, Manchester recovered and went back to their brilliant style.

Everyone was still so excited due to all the emotions of the game and it was pretty late, but I felt like I could just jump up and down for hours. Okay, maybe not that, but everyone got the idea. “We need to celebrate,” I stated and everyone looked at me agreeing immediately. Louis ran to the kitchen and went back with a whole pack of beers.

“For Manchester!” He cheered after everyone grabbed a bottle.

“For Manchester, the best team ever!” I cried out and everyone joined to my scream.

We stayed at Alex’s house for a while, drinking and having fun, laughing and commenting the game. I was so into the conversation with Niall that I even forgot about Zayn and all the things that I had felt that day with him.

“You’re amazing!” Harry complimented. He was quite drunk and was leaning on me, chuckling at almost everything. “I like you. Why didn’t Alex introduce you to us before? Bad Alex, bad!”

“‘Cos we were busy during summer and it’s really hard for you to have free time like this weekend, oh-you-international-super-star,” she defended herself throwing her hands in the air.

“Pff, excuses, excuses,” Harry waved his hand dismissively, like resting importance to what she said. Alex stuck her tongue out at him and focused on Niall who was laughing hysterically. “Now we’re friends and you have to hang out with us more! We’re gonna invite you to all our parties! Right, Boo Bear?” The curly-haired boy asked Louis who nodded enthusiastically. “See? Everyone loves you here!”

I laughed at his statement but in fact everyone, weirdly, seemed to like me because all they agreed with Harry. Well, that was really sweet of them.

For some reason, my eyes looked for Zayn’s and he was staring at me, his expression a mixture between agreement, concentration and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I found myself wondering if he really wanted me to hang out more with them.

We broke eye contact because my phone started to ring with a McFly song, which could only mean Moni was calling me. I took it off my pocket and answered. “What’s up?”

“Are you sober?” She asked and I chuckled. “Do you need me to pick you up?”

I looked up to the clock on the wall and saw it was almost midnight. “Yeah, I think it’s time. Are you done with your paper?”

“Yeah. After I finished it I just decided to watch telly. Nothing good, I must say,” I laughed. Moni never watched television and when she did, there was never something worth watching. Poor girl. “I’ll be there like in twenty minutes.”

“See ya soon. I love you!” I screamed at the phone with an annoying tone and she replied with the same one. We both laughed before hanging up, then I saw the rest’s expressions. “Moni. She’s coming for me,” I told them and they nodded.

“You’re leaving?” Zayn asked and I looked at him surprised. Why did he sound like he didn’t want me to leave?

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Shout out for @AngelicAngel_62600 for her lovely comment that made me so happy (:

Bel, xx!