Chapter 39 ― Zayn

“Why are you helping me?” I asked Harry when we were in our way to Mila and Moni’s flat hoping the brunette would let us talk to her.

It had passed another week and each day was worse for me. All I wanted to know was about Mila and how she was doing. Harry told me they got to fix the problem with the girl stealing Mila’s story and that Alex blocked her IP so now that girl was incapable of accessing to any kind of website related with any fandom. Also, if she tried something like that again, Alex was going to take care of her and her life on the Internet. Alex was something to be scared of when it came to the Internet. Nevertheless, she couldn’t get Mila’s account back.

“Because Mila asked me to,” he said and my heart did a flip-flop in my chest. Mila still cared about me. “She told me she didn’t want you to suffer and I had to help you. That didn’t mean help you to get her back, but I know that’s all what you need to be yourself again. I’m still mad for how stupid you were and I really hope you learnt your lesson, but you love her and I know she stills loves you. She wouldn’t have asked me to take care of you if she didn’t.”

I nodded and processed his words. Of course I had learnt my lesson about it and I was never going to do such a stupid thing again. If Mila decided to take me back, I was going to really take care of her, I was going to let her achieve her dreams on her own. I was going to give her as much privacy as I could, I was going to keep her safe from our fans and the media.

I really hoped Harry’s plan would work. He was right, if we got Moni on our side, I was going to be able to get to Mila and try to fix everything between us. I needed her to understand how much she meant to me and how lost I felt without her by my side.

“I don’t understand why I have to go with you,” the boy at the back seat said and I turned around to see him. Poor guy, he was a victim and a tool of this whole situation.

“Because Moni loves you and I’m sure she will give in if she sees you. You need to help us, Ed!” Harry stated and the ginger boy sighed.

“Is she gonna kill me?” He asked and I smiled. He was afraid and I kind of understood him. We talked about Moni as if she was the dragon outside the castle.

“Nope. Probably she won’t even touch you and she’ll be nice to everyone. That’s why we’re taking you. Music calms the beast, you know?” Ed laughed and in that occasion I joined him. It was funny how three guys were scared of a girl. No one could know that, it would be like a public castration for all of us.

We finally got to the girls’ building and Ed sighed one more time before we all got out the car and walked in there. By when Harry knocked at the door, I was hidden so Moni couldn’t see me through the peephole and only Ed and Harry were visible. The door opened and for the first time since the interview and my mistake, Moni didn’t scream. She was shocked and kept looked from Ed to Harry over and over again.

“What? What’s happening?” She said still looking at the two guys. Ed was smiling awkwardly and Harry had this sheepish smile on his face.

“Peace offering?” I mumbled walking out of my hiding place with a pack of cupcakes in my hands. “Please, I need to talk to you.”

“Zayn?” She said, still surprised but more severe this time. “With me?” Added Moni more confused this time.

“Please. We even brought Ed for you to meet him,” Harry joined me trying to convince her and Ed only waved at her, still smiling awkwardly. Moni looked at Harry as if he had betrayed her.

“You have ten minutes, Malik. And the cupcakes better be good,” she gave in walking inside again leaving the door opened and I sighed in relief. We were a bit closer to our goal. We could do this.

We all walked in and Ed still looked nervous so I tried to help a bit. “Don’t worry, she’s not as awful as we make her look. She’s just protecting her best friend,” I told him and he nodded but said nothing about it.

The brunette took seat on the loveseat and we did on the sofa. I put the cupcakes on the coffee table but Moni didn’t pay them any attention, her eyes were locked on me and her expression was severe. I had to be careful with what I was going to say if I really wanted to convince her. But I couldn’t find the words to start and we were all in an awkward silence until she took her phone and without tearing her stare on me away, she took a picture of Ed. The ginger boy shook his head confused and Moni didn’t show any expression whatsoever.

“This is a one in a life opportunity, I’m gonna take pictures whilst you talk, Malik. And hurry up, now you have nine minutes,” she said and Harry burst out laughing so hard that he had to cover up his mouth. Ed also chuckled and he smiled sincerely at the brunette, thought she didn’t see it but took a picture. While she was looking at me, Ed kept making faces to her phone and Harry joined it.

“I love her. I love her with all my heart and not having her is killing me, Moni,” I started and she didn’t show any reaction. “I never wanted this to happen, you must know that. I just got carried away, I wanted the world to know how amazing she is and I realised what I did too late, when the harm was already done. But knowing that I caused her all this is the worst thing that’s happened to me. I can’t bear the thought of losing her permanently. I can’t. You can’t imagine how hard it has been for me these past three weeks.”

“And for Mila? How do you think it has been for her? Uh? You don’t have an idea of how much I hate seeing her cry and not being able to do something about it. You’re thinking of you here. You want her back because you can’t stand the thought of not having her, but are you thinking of her? What’s best for her?” She said and her words were like hundreds of knives through my chest. She was right, I was being selfish and thinking only of what I wanted.

“That’s why I need to talk to her. To explain to her that I never wanted to hurt her and that I learnt my lesson. I wanna promise her that this won’t happen again and that I’m lost without her. That I need her and if she doesn’t want me back after that, I’ll understand it. But I need to tell her. Let her decide if she still wants me or not,” I tried to explain to her. “You can’t decide that I’m not good for her. I’m just a guy, I make mistakes and learn from them like any other person.”

“I don’t wanna see her like this again,” she said and in that occasion her voice broke at the end of the sentence. “If you ever hurt her again I swear I’ll hunt you down until I finish with you. You can’t do this to her twice,” she added and by then, tears were streaming down her face. Tears that she wiped away quickly, she even forgot about her phone and all the pictures she was taking.

I stood up and walked towards her. Before she could realise of what I was doing, I hugged her tightly. “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear. “I won’t hurt her again, I promise.”

“You better because if you do, not even bringing Nickelback will help you,” she said out loud and I heard Ed and Harry laughing. She pulled away and looked at Ed for the first time, finally realising he was there. “Clever move, Malik,” she added smiling at the ginger boy who didn’t look nervous anymore. “Tell me, what are you going to do now?”

We got Moni on our side. Phase one of our plan was done and now I just had to get to Mila. Niall had helped me to think of a way that could do and I really hoped he was right.

“Just tell me when she’s back,” I asked Moni and she looked at me suspiciously.

“She’s with Phebs right now, they went book shopping,” Moni replied. “She should be here in a couple of hours.”

“And you didn’t go with them?” Harry inquired shocked. Moni only giggled and faked crying.

“I’m broke, mate. It pains to go and not buying anything. I rather stay here and drown in my own misery tears,” she replied and that got Ed and Harry laughing again. It caught my attention that Moni didn’t seem to despise Harry anymore and maybe it was because with what happened, helping Mila got them to sort out their differences.

“Well, I need something first,” I said and Harry nodded. I really hoped this would work.

+ + + + +

We were in the kitchen waiting for Mila to get back. Incredibly, Ed didn’t want Harry to drive him home just yet. He was now interested in the story and I felt somehow awkward that not only Moni and Harry were going to be near when I got to talk to Mila, but also Ed. I knew they were going to give us our privacy, but I was still going to know they were around.

I had the guitar close and I had been practising the whole week. I really hoped I didn’t get any chord wrong. I wanted to do this perfectly, I wanted to show her with what I could do best what she meant for me.

Moni got a message saying that Mila was on her way minutes before the bell rang and my stomach made a twist that almost got me to my knees. I was so nervous it wasn’t even funny.

“You’re gonna do it fine, mate. I’m sure she’ll forgive you,” Ed told me patting my shoulder lightly. I begged for him to be right about this. It was my last chance.

“How was it?” I could hear Moni asking Mila in the living room.

“Great! I bought so many new books. I wanna start right now,” she said and even though I knew she was happy, I could feel a difference in her voice. It wasn’t like before, she didn’t sound as happy as I heard her so many times.

However, just hearing her voice made my heart race and the knot in my stomach got tighter.

“Yeah, but we have exams so later, missy. Now go to your room to leave all those lovely books I’ll borrow later and I’ll make tea. I’ll wait for you here in the living room, okay?” Moni told her and I didn’t hear a response, but I heard her walking away and soon Moni popped up in the kitchen. “Ready. Do your thing, boy. Don’t mess things up if you wanna live,” she told me.

“Good luck,” Ed and Harry added when I took the guitar and headed to the living room to wait for Mila.

I was dead nervous and scared. This was my opportunity and I only hoped she would listen to me.

“By the way, I bought you a—” Mila was saying when she walked in the living room and she almost dropped the book she had in her hands. Her eyes met mine and I saw the dark bags under hers. She looked different, she was skinnier and her eyes didn’t shine the way they did before. She couldn’t even smile at me. “Zayn? What are you doing here?” She asked and her voice sounded so tired.

“I need to explain everything to you. I need you to hear me out, please,” I said grabbing the guitar tightly.

“You don’t need to—”

“Please,” I cut her off. “Just listen, okay? You can decide whatever you want, but hear me out first. I don’t ask you anything else,” I insisted and I took her silence as her way to tell me to carry on.

I placed the guitar on my lap and looking her in the eyes, I started.

-:-:-:-

THANK YOU SO MUCH! For all the votes and the comments and Misconceptions was on #1 again yesterday! Thank you, thank you, thank you! That's why you have earlier update! Woohoo!

Dedication goes to my friend Sam because she ships Moni and Ed hardcore! Haha she was waiting for this chapter because of #Edni so she deserves the dedication.

Bel, xx