Chapter 23 ― Zayn

She just left me alone in the kitchen standing there still in shock. The pain I saw in her eyes; that rage boiling in the warm chocolate of her gaze just left me out of breath. But she was wrong, she was so wrong and what was worse was that she didn’t want to listen to me. Yes, I still had feelings for Alex but I knew that it was pointless to keep those, and I also knew I was finally forgetting about her, every time I thought less of her and it hurt less to see her with Niall. I was leaving her behind and in her place was now Mila, not because she resembled somehow Alex, but because she was her, the special girl with short temper who could be completely feisty one moment, and then a fragile girl who needed her best friend to open a bottle. The same girl who made me feel like myself, like it was useless to try to hide things because she could see through any façade I could build up. The girl who made me feel awkward and shy all over again, yet at the same time she made me feel stronger.

I wanted her. And I had to make her see that. I needed to prove to her that I was moving on from Alex and that in my mind she was the only girl now. I didn’t want any more Alex to look at me the way she looked at Niall; I wanted Mila to look at me that way. I had clear that now.

I tried to talk to her again, to insist in the matter but she refused to. I waited until it was so late and I could barely open my eyes, but she never came down and at the end I fell into unconsciousness, but I still had this unease feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew it wasn’t going anywhere until I could talk to her.

Even though I tried to talk to her the next day, it was almost impossible to find a moment where she was alone, and as it was Christmas morning, everyone was so excited. We spent the whole day all together, like a big family, although Phebs disappeared for like half an hour to talk to her boyfriend, Lucas, and when she came back the blonde had this big and bright smile. I was happy for her who finally moved on and found someone who loved her as she deserved. Liam was one of my best mates and he was such a good person, but he wasn’t the boy for Phebs. It seemed like this Lucas was indeed that boy.

Everyone called their relatives and they seemed perfectly fine except for Moni who came back with a expression of sheer exhaustion and frustration after her calls and Mila noticed that too because she was next to her best friend all the time, trying to cheer her up and make her forget about whatever it happened. Several of us asked her what was wrong but she didn’t want to talk and Mila gave us all a look saying that it was better not to push further. It was the first time I saw the brunette quiet and kind of gloomy. It was so weird to see her not trying to bully Mila or laughing at everything. What surprised me was the connection the two girls had, how Mila’s concern for Moni was so evident. Everyone could see that those two would do anything for the other and that kind of friendship was priceless. Both were so lucky to have each other.

Like that, a few days passed and we all spent that time together; going out, making BBQs, watching games, movies and even some musicals. We got to know more of Mila and Moni and the lads and I could forget about everything and just be normal guys. That was, without a doubt, one of the best things about these holidays.

It was Thursday already when I came down after talking to my mum over the phone to know how everything was going on at home when I walked into the kitchen to find Moni and Mila having a very passionate conversation. That afternoon there were only those two girls, Harry, Liam, Phebs and I in the house. Louis and Eleanor went to spend some time alone and so did Alex and Niall.

They were so into their conversation that they didn’t register my presence in the kitchen as I went to the fridge to grab something to eat. “I’m telling you, the author is a bitch but I fucking loved the book! You’re gonna love Jack. His evolution as a character is just great and I loved so much Becca. She’s a total badass!”

I had no clue what Moni was saying, but she was so excited about it and her hands moved frantically as she talked. Mila had a smile plastered on her face all the time. “But you told me it’s a series. Are the other books out already?” Mila asked and I nodded understanding a bit better now.

“Only the second, she’s working on the third according to her twitter,” the brunette replied and it was clear now that they were talking about a book. “I really like how she managed to incorporate cars and races with this love story and the main characters are just great, though I love the secondary as well. Penny is adorable!”

“Interesting book?” I asked walking towards them after I took a bottle of juice. Only then the two girls noticed I was there. Moni looked at me so excited, like I just asked her the most exciting thing ever.

“Oh my god, yes!” Replied the brunette and I chuckled at the expression. “I’m trying to convince Mila to read it.” I looked at the black-haired girl and she just gave me a half-smile. At least she held my gaze, not like the last few days when every time I tried to make eye contact, she looked away.

“What’s about?” I asked the older girl though my eyes were still looking for Mila.

That question led to a whole conversation about this book, which was about car racers in the States. And from there, we talked about other authors, styles and favourite books. We also talked about cars and the two girls surprised me with their enormous love for cars. They knew more than I did about those vehicles. When I told them I had a Bentley Continental, Moni almost had a heart attack and Mila was about to faint. “I promise when we get back home, I’ll let you drive it,” I told Mila and that made her squeal. It was quite funny the reactions you could get from those two when it came to talking about cars. Sport cars. Moni said that she now loved Harry because he had an Audi R8 Coupe.

“I need to talk to the owner of my new husband. I just got engaged!” Moni exclaimed standing up after like two hours there talking about different things. I assumed she referred to Harry considering that she was going to marry his car. Her words, not mine. “Excuse me,” she added later and walked away before we could say something.

“Where is it legal to marry a car?” I asked Mila and she chuckled softly. I loved when she did that, it was cute.

“Not sure yet, but if there’s a place, Moni’s gonna find it,” she replied with her lovely smile. “You surprised me, Zayn,” she told me a few seconds later and I just raised an eyebrow. “I mean, for all the books you’ve read and what we were talking before.”

“If I weren’t in 1D, I’d be studying to be an English teacher, so I quite like literature as well as reading,” I told her and I could see the surprise in her eyes. She totally didn’t expect that from me. It was good to know that I wasn’t the only one who had misconceptions about the other.

“For some reason I never thought what you’d be doing if your band didn’t exist. I kinda assumed that 1D was always in your plans. Silly of me,” she trailed off and I just smiled. “And do you think you could get an English degree later?”

“Dunno, probably after things calm down a bit, you know? Now we barely have time to be with our families. This whole week is sorta a miracle and it’s great,” I told her and she just nodded, understanding what I wanted to say. “I’d really like to get that degree.”

“You totally should! I mean, I’m only studying literature and I love it, and there’s this high probability that I’ll end up as a teacher, or at least it’s a possibility if I can’t make it as an author.”

“You will,” I said completely sure. “I haven’t read anything of you, but I’m sure you will accomplish whatever you want.”

The smile Mila gave me after saying that was something that made my heart race and I held my breath. It was so graceful and beautiful and warm and friendly. It was the most wonderful smile and she gave it to me, to no one else. She looked at me in a way that made me feel like I was the only man on the Earth.

“Thanks,” she said softly and I couldn’t stop looking at her in awe.

“You’re welcome,” I told her. My heart was still beating at this fast and strong pace and I just wanted to freeze time right there, to live in that moment forever.

“Maybe I should let you read something of mine,” she commented and that made me come back to reality. “Maybe after reading one of my stories you’ll see I’m hopeless and I should give up on my dreams.”

I laughed and she just smiled again. “I hardly doubt it, but let’s try it. What do you say? Show me one of your stories,” I dared her handing her my phone.

She took it and I saw determination in her eyes so I knew that the dare thing was what made her decide to finally show me her story, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have done it.

After a few moments, Mila handed me back my phone with a triumphal smirk on her face and I just arched an eyebrow still challenging her. “You’ll see it’s just crap and you’ll hack my account just to save the world from this horrendous writing,” she stated and I rolled my eyes.

“Silly,” I told her taking my phone and looking that I was on FanFiction.net on her account. I read the little information in her bio and then I saw the list of stories published by her. There were a few and all of them had a humongous amount of comments. That could only mean the stories were great.

For some reasons, I just knew in my heart that she was a great writer. I didn’t know why, but I had the feeling I was going to get mesmerised by her talent so I just opened one of the stories that said complete and it had only one chapter. That story had three hundred and forty eight comments.

Whilst I was reading, I saw for the corner on my eye Mila getting all nervous, playing with her fingers and her eyes on me all the time. I tried not to smile as I read and I just focused on the story of how Draco was dealing with his life after the war.

When I finished it, my mouth was wide open and I couldn’t find the words to describe all the things that were in my mind after that short story. I looked at her and I saw a bit of fear and so much anxiety in her chocolate eyes that were waiting for my comment.

“That… it’s incredible. I mean… I really felt I was Draco and I understood him better than I did during the seven books. Amazing, Mila. That’s brilliant! You’re splendid! Of course you’re gonna make it as a writer. You are already a writer!” I told her enthusiastically. I was overwhelmed by the story and her writing, the power in her words and the images she sent to the readers, the connection with the main character.

“Thanks,” she whispered with her cheeks burning bright and looking down for a few seconds.

“Thank you for letting me read it; and I’m telling you this again, you’ll be a published writer.” If I believed that before without having read her stories, now I was two hundred per cent certain that it was going to happen.

To put her at ease about it, I started to mention the technical aspects I liked about the story and like that we ended up talking about literature, writing, authors, movies based on books and many other things. We spend the whole afternoon in that kitchen just talking about everything and nothing, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

Since we met, those hours had been the best.

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Dedication for @SMILE_its_rachel because it's her birthday! Keep voting for another earlier update! I love you all.

Bel, xx