Chapter 18 ― Mila

I wasn’t stupid, I knew Zayn was flirting with me. That smile, the way he looked at me, the things he said to me. I kept telling to myself that the tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach had nothing to do with him, that the way my heart skipped a beat every time he smiled at me could be explained with another totally reasonable explanation, that I didn’t feel like melting when I saw him taking a drag of his cigarette.

Man, he looked sexy when smoking.

“We should go inside before we die frozen here,” I commented when he finished his cigarette and before I decided to smoke another one.

“You’re probably right, I can barely feel my fingers now,” he said with a silly smile and I couldn’t help myself from smiling back. “Plus, all the guys must have finished already.”

I nodded but none of us moved or even tried to step away, we stayed there, face to face looking at each other. The way his eyes kept piercing me gave me goose bumps and my heart was beating so fast. I suddenly remembered that moment in the living room when I saw how he was getting closer and closer to me. I really thought he was going to kiss me and, weirdly, I wanted him to kiss me. Probably, if Harry hadn’t had appeared, I would have left Zayn kiss me. I didn’t know if I was grateful or mad at the curly-haired boy.

I knew we were getting along much better lately but I still knew he had feelings for Alex, he talked about that and I knew those feelings were strong. I had my pride and I didn’t want him to use me just to forget about Alex. It was true that I didn’t gave much importance to relationships and that sometimes I could go pretty fast with someone because I never let my feelings get in the way, I always let things in the physical plane. I could put everything aside and just live the moment, forget about all the rest, but I just couldn’t with Zayn. There was something inside of me stopping me and I was pretty sure it was my pride telling me that I couldn’t let Zayn use me, I could let myself be his rebound.

If Zayn didn’t love Alex the way he did, things probably would be different. But he was still crazy about her and I couldn’t do anything about it, even if I wanted to.

Feeling my chest being oppressed by an imaginary force, I slightly shook my head and started walking towards the house leaving him behind. Nothing was going to happen between Zayn and I —nor even a little fling— if I wasn’t sure he was over Alex, or that he wasn’t using me. I didn’t mean he had to fall for me or something similar, I just didn’t want to be used.

As I made my way into the house, I found a very busy Niall eating the rest of the cupcakes in a corner. I had made many cupcakes for this trip and when we got here, we left a few for later, but it seemed like Niall didn’t understand that it meant for everyone, not only him. Or maybe he understood, that was why he was hiding.

“Niall? What are you doing?” I asked stepping closer and when his blue eyes met mine, I saw panic. Yup, he knew the cupcakes weren’t only for him.

“NIALL!” I heard at the same time he opened his mouth to say something. Panic was replaced by sheer terror and I recognised that voice. It was Moni’s. “I’m gonna kill you, oh you little piece of Irish shit! You can’t eat all the cupcakes!” She kept screaming and she was getting closer.

“Run or prepare to die,” I told him. I was already laughing so hard at his terrified expression, and I laughed even harder when he ran away with the few remaining cupcakes against his chest. That boy was going to die once Moni caught him.

Soon enough, my best friend showed up in the living room at the same time that Zayn did. “Where’s that little leprechaun?” The brunette asked and she had the right to say little because she was older and almost as tall as him and that day she was wearing —impressively— high heels.

“Dunno. Maybe he used his magic powers of leprechaun,” I suggested shrugging and trying to hold my laughter. It wasn’t working well. She looked at me suspiciously before running away, still looking for Niall to murder him. Poor boy, I was sorry for him and his future painful death. Alex was going to suffer.

“What’s going on?” A confused Zayn asked behind me. No, his proximity didn’t affect me.

Liar! I internal voice screamed in my head. I hushed it.

“You need to find a replacement for Niall. Moni is gonna kill him ‘cos he ate the cupcakes we left for later. I’m sorry,” I explained offhandedly and I heard him chuckle. What was wrong with me that I was finding cute everything he did?

“Damn it, I wanted a cupcake,” he said and it was my turn to chuckle. He didn’t even comment that they were losing a member of One Direction that day.

“I ain’t gonna make more,” I told him folding my arms and trying to be serious, but my charade fell to the floor when I felt his arms surrounding me and his chest against my back, soon his chin was on the top of my head and my heart was beating so fast I feared it was going to break free from my ribcage in any moment. I wasn’t prepared for this. I never expected him to do this. Why? Why was he doing this to me?

“Oh, c’mon! We’re gonna be here for a week. We’re gonna need your cupcakes,” he cooed and I was melting in his arms. Melting. No kidding there.

I was utterly speechless, my heart still beating frantically and my limbs frozen. I was just there, been embraced by Zayn Malik. At least until Alex walked into the room. “Moni, don’t kill him, ple—” and she stopped talking as soon as she saw our scene. I thought Zayn was going to let me go in that moment, but he didn’t. He didn’t react at all and I wasn’t sure what to think about that. “Oh my God!” She shrieked and I could swear her eyes were shining. “Moni, come here and see this!” She screamed immediately. “Forget about Niall, you need to see this! Oh, my feelings!”

Soon enough, Moni came running back and when she saw us, she reacted just like Alex did. “Oh my feelings. This is perfect. OTP, OTP!” She faked crying and I was completely shocked. What was wrong with those two that day?

Zayn was laughing and I could feel his chest vibrating against my back, and his arms wrapped me tighter, like wanting me closer.

My poor heart. Tachycardia, here I go, I thought for myself.

“You two are so cute together! God, I ship you more than I ship Peeta and bread!” Moni cried and Alex just nodded looking so touched as my best friend seemed.  “Best OTP ever.”

I sighed and Zayn was still chuckling. “You should let me go. Those two shouldn’t be encouraged,” I told him in a whisper.

“I’m comfortable here. I have a better idea to make them go though. Look,” he said and my heart did another flip at his words. I didn’t like this Zayn, it wasn’t healthy. “Is that Niall eating the last cupcake?” He questioned looking at Moni and Alex’s back.

Sure enough, both girl forgot about us and went practically running after Niall. Moni promising a very painful death, and Alex trying to save her boyfriend. “What did Moni mean with more than Peeta and bread?” He asked me.

Why was he still holding me? I couldn’t quite think straight when he held me that close to him, when I could feel his scent so clearly. It was clouding my mind and my ability to formulate coherent ideas. For the love of Loki, I was acting like a little teenage girl! Shame on me!

“A tumblr thing,” I tried to explain finding so difficult to say the proper words to answer that. “They are crazy. We aren’t even part of a story to be an OTP. This is stupid,” I told him shaking my head. I still wanted him to release me.

“Should I feel flattered?” He asked me, his tone low and smooth. I felt shivers going down my spine. Bad boy! You couldn’t do that to a girl and certainly not when you were so close to her ear!

“Um— Anyone who gets those words from Moni should feel flattered. She ships Peeta and bread hard-core.” He chuckled again and, one more time, shivers went down my spine. I needed him to let me go, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. “I gotta go,” I said shrugging him off and walking away quickly.

I heard him calling my name but I didn’t turn around, I just kept walking towards my room where I was going to lock myself until my heartbeats slowed down and I could think clearly again. I didn’t know why he did that but I didn’t like it. I didn’t like him to confuse me.

He didn’t react when Alex appeared. Why? Was it because he wanted to make her jealous? If that was so, then he failed epically because that only encouraged her further with the whole OTP shit. If he did it because he wanted to show her that he was moving on, then… then I had to come back to kick him in the balls. I wasn’t a toy and most certainly I wasn’t something for him to use at his will and show his point.

I stopped for a second, breathing in slowly. I didn’t have the chance to take another step when someone came out of one of the rooms. Soon, in front of me, was the curly-haired boy with a charming smile and his dimples as cute as ever.

“Mila!” He exclaimed cheerfully. “Wait, are you wearing Zayn’s jacket?” And just then I remembered I had on his jacket with his scent impregnated to it.

“Um— he lent it to me when we were outside,” I explained to him and I saw how he raised one eyebrow suspiciously.

“Why are you blushing, Mila?” He questioned and his tone was sheer evilness.

“I’m not blushing. You have issues with your eyes. You should see a doctor,” I spat defensively and tried to walk past him, nut the damn boy stopped me by grabbing my arm.

“Could it be that you fancy the Bradford bad boy?” He asked and I wanted to laugh so hard at the way he called Zayn.

“Of course not! How could I fancy someone who’s crazy about another person? I don’t need that kind of drama in my life,” I answered and I truly didn’t need it. I was in the middle of this and I didn’t even want to be there! Certainly it wasn’t fair.

“And that bugs you,” he ventured and I just shrugged him off without caring to be too rude or not.

“Of course not!” I said again and that only made Harry raise his eyebrows again. “I don’t fancy Zayn, I don’t care if he’s in love with Alex or not. I only care that no one is using me to pretend or anything else. Now, excuse me.”

I didn’t wait for a response, I just walked away until I got into my room. I hated to yell at Harry for something it wasn’t his fault. All this was Zayn’s fault, for making me feel this way, for confusing me this way, for making me want something I didn’t need. It was all his fault, damn boy.

-:-:-:-

Dedication for @H4nnah19 because she's so nice and she commented in almost every single chapter of all my stories! She has read everything I have on here! Thank you, dear.

Bel, xx