CLARIFICATION! When Mila talks about Alex and Niall breaking up, she meant that time in Backfire, chapter 31 and 32. After that (during the summer, when classes started) they haven't broken up. So don't panic! They are still very much in love.

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Chapter 12 ― Mila 

I finally met Phebs and she was lovely. I immediately loved her and she brought up this sweet side of me. Something similar to what Liam could do to me when we talked or shared a moment. In our way to the airport, I talked a lot to the blonde girl, mainly about my stories and how excited she was. Phebs kept telling me about how I should publish a book, that fan-fiction wasn’t enough for me, that I had the potential to be a published writer and I should start selling books right now. Did you see? Lovely girl.

When we got to the airport and after meeting with Paul, we were led to where the lads were and the first thing I saw, was Louis and Niall running towards Alex, fighting over who had the right to be with her and hug her. I laughed at their silliness until I saw a Harry running towards me. He hugged me like we were child friends who hadn’t seen each other in years.

“I’m glad you could make it!” He told me still hugging me. I was laughing and hugging him back. “I wanted to see you before disappearing for a month. We’re gonna Skype, right?”

“Sure. You have to tell me how everything is going, but try not to sent to many pictures,” I teased him and he just smiled cockily.

“How are your finals going?” He asked looking intently into my eyes. Sometimes his stare was too intense.

“Dunno yet. I still have so many papers to hand in. My brain is melting already,” I replied with a smile of my own.

“You’re gonna do it great! I just know it.” My smile grew bigger at his words. It was always good to have someone that trusted in you and who told you that you could do it.

We stayed there talking about nothing important, just catching up a bit though we talked almost everyday and sometimes even more. We were messaging each other all the time. God bless iMessage. I would be totally broke without it. For being such a huge popstar, Harry had a lot of time to send pointless and stupid messages.

I didn’t notice Zayn had approached until I heard his voice and turned around to see him. His smile was so sweet and a bit shy, like he wasn’t sure of what to do and I found that so cute I wanted to scream. Yeah, weird reactions I had from time to time. But Zayn had something when he smiled that lighted up all his features and I knew he was attractive when I met him —I wasn’t blind, for Loki’s sake— but when he smiled he was ten times hotter.

Whilst our drive to the airport, I decided that I was going to be nice to him, I was going to put aside all my negative thoughts about him and his inability to see me. He was leaving the country for several weeks, the least I could do was to be nice. Plus, if I could forget about his self-centred personality and his kind of obsession with Alex, I thought we could be great friends. For what Harry had told me during the last weeks we’d been talking, I knew Zayn was a nice and fun boy. At least, that was what it seemed.

“Hi there, Zayn,” I replied with a smile of my own and I hardly noticed when Harry left us alone there. To be honest, I didn’t care. Something wrong was happening to me because I couldn’t stop looking at Zayn, the way his eyes smiled at me too, how those thick and curly eyelashes framed his eyes making them so damn beautiful. Though I always found coloured eyes more beautiful, I had to admit that this boy had incredible, stunning eyes.

Something I did notice was my friend playing her cheesy music and watching us, but I decided to ignore her.

“Long time no see,” Zayn spoke up, our eyes still in this intense hold. “How’ve you been?”

“Really busy. Uni is killing me but I love it all the way,” I replied honestly. Yeah, it was really exhausting to study Literature, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. It was my passion, after all.

“I can imagine. By the way, you never told me what are you studying.” That was right, the only one I’ve talked to about that was Liam and a bit to Harry, but he was more interested in other kind of activities of mine.

“Literature. If I wanna be a good writer I have to know about literature and the masters, right?” He looked surprised and I wondered what he thought I was studying. “Did you expect me to study another thing?”

“For some reason I saw you as a lawyer,” replied the black-haired boy and I raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t the first to assume that and I could be a good lawyer, but I wasn’t going to sell my soul. If I couldn’t choose all my cases, then I wasn’t going to be part of that system. Alhough I really loved knowing about laws and new issues in the world. That was me, always needing to know something new.

I laughed a bit before answering, “I considered to be a lawyer for a while, but then I realised I just couldn’t. I wanna be a writer.”

He nodded understanding and for some reason I felt like I could keep talking to him about the topic, that he would listen to me carefully without judgement. I loved to talk about literature and my passion about it and it frustrated me when people didn’t understand it, when they thought of it as just books. It was more, so much more. That was one of the reasons why I put so much distance between my family and I, because they never understood that important part of me.

“I love writing, though I’m very insecure about it and never like what I do, but publishing online it really helps. I just need to get the courage to show my manuscripts to some editor.”

“You already write? That’s incredible! I’d love to read something of your work,” he said and I raised my other eyebrow.

“Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll tell you where you can find one of my stories,” I said with a mysterious tone. Or that was what I tried to do, not sure if it worked.

Zayn just smiled and we stayed like that for a little while until someone put his hand over Zayn’s shoulder and popped his curly-haired head between us. “Sorry for interrupt, but you know that we can’t stay like this forever. Move your butt, Zayn!” Harry demanded and then he looked at me and winked. “Having fun?” He asked and I felt my cheeks burning.

“Shut up!” I snapped at him and I could see Zayn looking at us a tad bit confused.

“Oh, before I forget it. Do you have plans for these holidays?” The curly boy asked and I frowned a tad bit.

“Isn’t too soon to be asking that? We’re not even in December yet,” I replied as he put his arm around Zayn’s shoulder as trying to keep him there. “And to answer your question: no, I don’t have plans.”

Normal Uni students went to their parents’ houses. Moni and I, on the other hand, tried to avoid our families as much as possible. Yeah, it was holidays; you were supposed to be with your family, but who wanted to be in a house where at the end everything was going to end in a fight? Not me, definitely and I knew my best friend didn’t want that either. Probably we were going to stay in our flat, having dinner or something nice and exchanging presents the next morning. That was what we did last year.

“Great!” He exclaimed and I raised my eyebrow. Was he saying that it was great that I didn’t have plans? “Now you can come with us! We’re planning to go to my house for the winter break. You know, a couple of days after we get back from America. Would you like to come? Alex and Phebs are going too. Belle is going to spend holidays with her boyfriend so we’re not friends anymore with her.”

I chuckled at his statement and pondered his offer. Definitely, it sounded better than my plan of staying at home just Moni and I, but we didn’t know them that much. Yes, I talked to Harry all the time, but it wasn’t the same. I didn’t know if I could cope with five boys for a week.

“Moni said that she’ll go if you say yes. Please, pretty please, say yes! We’re gonna have so much fun. Tell her, Zayn!” Harry turned to face Zayn who just looked amused, but at that question his little smile disappeared and he focused on me. I felt that everything froze for those seconds he looked into my eyes and I wondered if we were in silence as much as it seemed for me.

“We had fun the last time we went,” he said slowly, his eyes still glued on me.

I felt like he was finally seeing me. I felt like he was looking at Mila, not at Alex’s friend, someone who resembled her but wasn’t her. But probably he wasn’t. Probably he was still seeing that girl who reminded him of the girl he liked.

Why, in name of Loki, did it hurt that much? Why did it fill me with anger knowing that he was crazy about my friend? I didn’t want him feeling like that for me, and I most certainly didn’t feel anything romantic related towards him, towards a boy who was head over heels for Alex.

“You should come,” he added a few seconds later, his stare so intense and I felt my heart hammering in my ribcage.

“I dunno…” I mumbled in the same moment Liam joined us, his arm over my shoulders and his puppy smile plastered on his face.

“Dunno what?” He asked before giving me a kiss in my temple. “Hi! I haven’t greeted you properly yet. Harry and Zayn were monopolising you. How are you, babe?” He asked with his sweet tone and without losing his smile.

Liam was such a cutie. He seemed the kind of guy who would never do anything wrong, he seemed the kind of guy that helped everyone all the time just because he wanted to do something good, never expecting something in return. And as usual, he brought up my sweetest side. Yes, I had one. He just had this problem where he calls everyone babe.

“I’m fine,” I replied with a smile and my sweetest tone. “And Harry invited me to spend holidays with you all, guys but I don’t know if I—”

“You totally should!” He cut me off really excited. “We’re gonna have so much fun! The more, the merrier, right? Plus, as Danielle can’t go, Phebs and Alex might feel alone and they absolutely will need more feminine company,” reasoned the brunet with a bright smile and I almost gave in.

I took another glimpse at Zayn and he was looking at us so intently and I really wanted to know what was crossing his mind in that moment. The black-haired boy was competing with Harry and his intense stares, though the curly-haired boy was currently looking at us with a goofy smile, waiting for me to say yes.

I looked for Moni a few feet away talking to Louis, Alex, Belle, Phebs and Niall about I didn’t know what, but she felt me because she turned her head to look at me and I saw her amused smile. She probably understood why I was looking for her eyes because she nodded and gave me a thumbs-up.

“I guess it’d be fun,” I mumbled, still not convinced.

“So you are in?” Harry wanted to be sure and I kind of smiled at him.

“Yes, I’m in,” I replied and his smile was so big I thought his face was going to rip into two. Liam hugged me tighter and gave me another kiss, this one on my cheek.

“Yes! We’re gonna have so much fun! You won’t regret it!” He promised shaking Zayn a bit and the black-haired boy just looked like he was waking up from some weird trance.

I hoped he was all right. I didn’t want awkward moments with Zayn nor I wanted to fight with him because he couldn’t see me as the real me. But maybe those days with all of them would help him to accept me, to stop looking at me and wishing to see an Alex who wasn’t in love with Niall.

We reunited with the rest of the group and stayed with the boys for a while until they where called. We gave them hugs and wished them luck. Alex and Niall had their own moment, forgetting about all of us as they shared a passionate kiss and I was about to tell them to get a room, but I let it pass as they were saying goodbye and weren’t going to see each other for a month.

“I’ll see you soon. I’m glad you are coming to Harry’s house too,” Liam told me when it was my turn to say goodbye to Daddy Direction.

“Behave yourself, be a good girl and don’t get into too much trouble while I’m not here. Got it?” was Harry advice and I just laughed in his face. He probably was going to have more problems getting himself out of trouble in America.

“Remember you’re not allowed to drink in America,” I told him and his painful expression was priceless. Then it was Zayn’s turn and, weirdly, he was the only one left to say goodbye. “I’ll see you soon, then,” he stated rather awkwardly I would say. I just nodded as I stepped closer to give him a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body as my own arms surrounded his waist and I hid my face in his chest. I didn’t know why but it felt so… so normal to be in his arms.

“See ya soon, Zayn,” I told him stepping back but his hands were still at my sides, gently touching me. He smiled but I saw a shadow crossing his eyes and I didn’t know what it was.

“Bye,” he said as he started walking away with the other lads.

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Shout out and dedication for @Doodlebug9 for the BEST analogy ever made! hahaha I laughed for three hours with that. Thanks! 

Bel, xx