Okay, a pretty lengthy one for the first one! But I'm a sucker for James Potter! Also, I love Jily, but I'm sorry for what I did to Lily here! 

Because of being an awesome writer who inspired me to try my hand at it too, shoutout to everlovingdeer Check her stuff out, no regrets!

This one borders right on the edge of an M rating, but nothing too explicit! Just snogging ;)

My girl | James Potter

"Oh, for Godric's sake, Potter, why do you hate me?"

I grumbled incoherently to myself as the insistent tapping on the window made it through the fog of sleep that surrounded me. Some of the girls around me groaned, others sending similar curses as mine towards the general direction of the window. I forced myself out of bed, rubbing at bleary eyes, and sure enough, there was Smokey, the Potter owl, tapping excitedly at the glass with a letter attached to his leg.

I pursed my lips, not nearly as enthusiastic. "Yes, I bloody well heard you, you ruddy bird," I griped under my breath. As soon as I opened the window, Smokey flew to settle on my shoulder, nipping affectionately at my ear. I instantly felt guilty for taking my frustrations out on the owl that was more a joined pet between me and James, and reached up to pat him. Wasn't his fault that his owner was a prat.

James Potter was my best friend since forever. Our families were good friends who rekindled their friendships when my family moved back to England just before I turned five. When we'd first met, Euphemia Potter had just hugged me, and James had taken one look at me and pushed me over. Instead of crying or running towards my own parents, I'd gotten right back up and in a fit of accidental magic, turned his hair a brilliant shade of blue.

We were inseparable ever since.

Striving to remember that I actually loved the idiot, I untied the letter, eyes quickly scanning the words in front of me.

Stripes,

Come to the commons RIGHT NOW! Marauders' emergency!

Prongs

PS - Tell Evans I said hi!

Rolling my eyes, I rode out the normal flare of jealousy that rose up inside me at the stark reminder that James - my best friend who, did I mention?, I'd somehow managed to fall head over heels for - was completely besotted with my snotty roommate.

Honestly, it was about time I got over my crush. Jamie was never going to see Lily as anything but perfect, and he was certainly not ever going to see me as anything other than his best friend. I needed to stop being pathetic and move on. Distance myself from the source of everything.

Even as I thought this, I tied my hair into a ponytail and slipped soundlessly out of my dorm room. The cold hard truth was that I could say and think whatever I liked, but when it came down to it, I would always drop anything and everything if that stupid boy ever needed me.

Swallowing a sigh, I padded down the stairs, wondering what emergency required my presence before the sun could even rise.

The full moon had been a whole two weeks ago, so I could rest easy knowing that Remmy was alright. My heart gave a small pang as I thought about the sandy-haired werewolf; I had been the first one of us to make the connection, and had kept his secret for seven months before the other boys found out. It had been a hellacious time, especially when James realized I had been keeping a secret from him and alternated between icing me out, yelling at me, and pleading with me to tell him. He'd been downright nasty to poor Remus, but we'd become very close friends, and Moony always seemed to listen to me when I pleaded James' case.

When they'd eventually figured it out, it hadn't taken long for us to collectively decide to become Animagi to help out our friend. And the Marauders were born; Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Stripes.

Full moons had since gotten easier; having a tigress, a stag and a dog around to play with did wonders for the wolf; but they weren't without the toll taken on Remus' strength. He'd been fine for the past few days, though, obviously recovered from the last transformation, so what could possibly be wrong?

I stifled a yawn as I entered the common room, only to be swept up into a giant hug. I knew those arms better than almost anything in the world, so I simply hung on as James lifted me off my feet with the force of his hug.

"Finally! You took forever, love."

I scowled slightly, half at the absurd cheerfulness at three in the morning, and half at the annoying warmth that always filled me whenever he called me 'love'.

Shuffling towards the sofa when he set me back on my feet, I chafed my hands over my bare arms. "If you woke me up just to tell me that I came down too slowly, I will hex you."

My best friend immediately launched into a tirade about how his friends all abused him, and I tuned him out easily, exchanging exasperated looks with the rest of the Marauders. Remus, having noticed my attempt to trap warmth, held out his arms, and I wordlessly settled against him on the couch. A happy sigh left my lips as he pulled me into his side, his inherent warmth seeping through my thin tank top.

That problem solved, I dragged my eyes open again, giggling under my breath when I saw Sirius already fast asleep again on the 3-seater, and Peter close to it as he drifted off on one of the armchairs. James heard my laughter and turned around, a smile on his face that quickly dropped as he looked at me. For one strange moment, he looked almost irritated, before he quickly diverted his attention to the other two. He huffed when he realized they were out cold, and Remus' soft voice stopped what was sure to be another little rant.

"We're all exhausted, James. What was this about?"

The messy-haired boy paused for a moment, and then visibly deflated. "Nothing," he muttered. "Go back to bed."

He proceeded to flop into one of the single seaters, staring broodingly into the fire. I exchanged a look with Moony, both of us puzzled over the drastic change that came over him but not knowing what exactly we were meant to do about it.

After a minute, when it became apparent that James wasn't going to do more than sulk, I stood up, going to wake Sirius up while Remus took Peter. Wormy was obviously a far easier feat than Padfoot, so after a few minutes of cajoling, threatening, and some outright whining, I decided to simply levitate the stubborn boy to his bed.

Once Sirius, Remus and Peter were all settled, I left the boy's dorms, but instead of returning to my own bed, which was beckoning me so sweetly back, I went to the common room.

Shivering lightly in the cold, I quickly crossed the silent room to James, settling myself on the arm of the armchair without a word. He looked up, questioning at first, and then with a hint of soft gratitude and affection, and without warning, he pulled me down next to him, half on his lap, wrapping himself almost completely around me as we cuddled on the couch meant to seat only one.

It was dark, and the common room was empty, and I was tired and cold, and I blamed all of the above reasons for the lapse in good judgement that kept me curled up into him, my face burrowed into the side of his neck and his, tucked into my hair. We were silent for long moments as both of us became lost in thought, James absently rubbing circles into my back with his thumb.

Finally, when he was ready to speak, he said, "I had one of those nightmares again."

I nodded knowingly, without lifting my face. I'd figured it out the moment he had hugged me; sure, such gestures of affection wasn't uncommon between us, but there was something in the way he held me that I knew wasn't right. Since we were kids, James used to have these really awful nightmares that he'd never told anyone about, and the times that I used to sleep over at the Potters, or James at my place, we usually ended up curled up with each other because the nightmare had woken one or both of us up, and that was the only way James would fall asleep again.

It made a little more sense now, why he'd tried to disguise it as a Marauders emergency. I briefly wondered what he'd have blurted out if the boys had managed to stay awake.

"You wanna go flying?" I mumbled into his neck, my voice sleepy but sincere. I knew that the rush James got in the air would quickly remove whatever bad feelings were left over from his nightmare, not to mention maybe tiring him out enough to get a little more sleep.

He chuckled, a low sound that sent a thrill up my spine. "You'd fall off your broom, love," he teased softly, before pulling me impossibly closer to him. "No... just stay with me. Just stay here, like this."

There were moments between us - countlessly thousands in the years of our friendship - where James would shed his loud, boisterous persona, and just become this. A boy seeking calm and contentment as he cuddled close with his best friend. A long time ago, I had decided I would never turn him away when he needed me to do this, to just exist with him.

"Always, Jamie."

###

I yawned widely, not bothering to fight it back anymore as the words in the textbook in front of me blurred slightly. It was approaching curfew but thankfully, I was nearly done with my History of Magic essay; just one more chapter and I could go to bed.

Straightening in an attempt to be more awake, I caught sight of a flash of black and yellow a split second before the seat in front of me was being pulled out. "May I?"

I glanced up to see Dylan Greaves, a seventh year Hufflepuff. I couldn't help the eyebrow that quirked up in response to his question; the only times I had ever interacted with the admittedly handsome Beater, was during a match, while he was trying to knock me off my broom.

As if he could read my skeptical thoughts, he grinned broadly, but didn't say anything else, content to wait for my answer.

"By all means," I eventually consented, waving a dismissive hand at the chair he still had a hand on. Whatever this was about, I was far too tired to address it now. I turned my attention back to the book, intent on finishing off my chapter as soon as I could and heading back up to the tower for some much needed sleep.

Greaves, it seemed, had other plans. "You're the Gryffindor Seeker, right?"

Oh, Merlin, really?

"I find it alarming that you have to ask, given that it's your job to aim bludgers at me," I commented dryly in response, without taking my eyes off the book. My words, instead of the huff I expected it to receive, prompted a laugh from the older boy. I was unwillingly intrigued; people didn't often take so kindly to being on the receiving end of my sarcasm.

"No hard feelings, yeah?" I could hear the mirth in his voice and despite my intentions, I lifted my gaze to his. His grin widened, and amusement danced in his blue eyes. "Beater's Bible, going after the Seeker, and all."

My lips twitched, finding some amusement of my own at the very idea of a Beater apologizing for doing his job. "Eh. I took it as a compliment."

Greaves laughed again and this time, I didn't fight the smile, letting it play on my lips. My muscles, previously tensed, relaxed now, seeing no ill-intent from the boy seated in front of me.

Before anything else could be said, I heard a sharp call of my name.

My eyes lifted beyond Dylan's face to the sight of an obviously irate James Potter, stomping towards us and completely ignoring the reproachful glare Madam Pince was sending him for disrupting her quiet. I frowned slightly, wondering what had gotten his wand in a knot this time.

"Something the matter, Jamie?" I asked lightly, conveying my genuine concern only through my eyes, knowing that my best friend would catch it. He did, and he softened immediately, shaking his head.

"It's almost curfew," he pointed out, sending a cool look towards Greaves. I wondered idly what bone of contention existed between the two, especially since the seventh year seemed to look as clueless as I felt. "I came to walk you back to the tower."

I rolled my eyes at the show of gallantry. Whenever it got late and I wasn't back at the dorms, James had always made a point of fetching me, a feat made all the easier for him once we'd managed to perfect the map. Sending Greaves an apologetic smile, I began to stand up. Their fight, after all, didn't involve me.

As I packed my parchment and inkwell away, James wordlessly took the heavy book to return it to the shelves, but not before sending another glare at Dylan. I was curious, but knowing that James would've mentioned it to me if it were important, I didn't say anything. Instead, I asked, "Was there something you wanted?"

Greaves grinned again, seeming unfazed by my best friend's temperament. "I wanted to ask if you'd maybe like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

If I would've been eating or drinking anything, I would've choked. Even so, I still spluttered slightly before narrowing my eyes suspiciously at him. "Why?"

"You know," he shrugged, smiling all the wider at my reaction, "Beater's Bible to go after the Seeker, and all."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed out loud at the cheeky response, shaking my head. "Ask me again tomorrow, and we'll see," I joked back, assuming he was just taking the mickey out of me.

Whatever response I'd been about to get was swiftly interrupted, once more, by a petulant James Potter, who all but dragged me away when he returned, not sparing Greaves anything more than a passing glare. "What's got you all twisted into a pretzel, Prongs?" I asked, pointedly vesting my arm of his grip even as I walked with him out of the library.

"Greaves is a total prat," he muttered in annoyance, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "He was coming on to you."

I rolled my eyes again, scowling slightly. "Translation, Lily turned you down again, and you're pouting." I softened as soon as the words left my lips, knowing that whatever happened must have been pretty bad for James to look so thoroughly put out. He was never this affected all the other times Evans got high and mighty with him. Bumping my shoulder softly against his, I tried to send him a comforting smile while pushing down my own sting of jealousy and melancholy. "Don't worry, Jamie, she'll soon figure out what she's missing out on. And until then, you've always got the Marauders."

For some reason, my words resulted in an indefinable expression crossing over James' face. He looked at me for a long minute and just before I passed out from holding my breath, he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side.

"Yeah, 'course," he mumbled, sending me a soft smile as I automatically shifted my bag so it didn't poke into him. "I've got you."

I tried my best not to let him see how his unconscious correction affected me.

###

I had grown accustomed to the nauseating mix of feelings that accompanied James and Lily's little displays. After all, it happened the same way every time like clockwork; James did something loud and obnoxious, yet strangely endearing, Lily yelled at him and turned him down, and then the pair either bickered, or Lily continued to yell while James tried to cajole her into a date.

Today was one of the days where James was trying to persuade the redhead.

I took a sip of pumpkin juice, my appetite fading away the longer they carried on. Breakfast was overrated, anyway. I felt a stab of irritation towards Evans as she insulted my best friend; I honestly didn't see why she felt the need to try to belittle James at every opportunity. I was the first one to step in whenever the boys tried to torment Snape, and over the years and many fights, they'd stopped hassling the Slytherin unless he started it first. So what was she so uppity about?

"Easy, Stripes," Sirius' hand covered mine for a brief moment and he sent me a small wink. I realized I'd been openly clenching my jaw the longer James was pelted with insults, and quickly forced my expression into a more neutral one. A grin quirked my lips when he added, "I know you can take Evans, but that wouldn't be a fair fight."

I laughed under my breath. "Not to mention how much Jamie would bitch at me."

"Nah, like Prongs would ever turn on you. Besides, I wouldn't let him." Sirius threw a protective arm around my shoulder, ruffling my hair with his free hand. I tried to scowl at him, but I could only grin as I pushed him lightly away, secretly very appreciative of this boy that had declared himself my big brother. It had happened early on in our friendship, right after figuring out he was a few months older than us, and to date, he was every bit the protective older brother to me.

"Cheers, Padfoot," I replied quietly, finding it a little bit easier to ignore Lily's grating voice all of a sudden. Of course, Merlin knows such a reprieve couldn't last, and my attention was caught by an almost inaudible sigh coming from James. I looked up for the first time and noticed that none of his usual playful boyishness, that I so adored from him, was evident in his posture. He looked almost defeated, and definitely hurt, and I couldn't stand it.

"Honestly, you're so desperate and attention-seeking! I swear, you're pathetic, Potter you'd be better off..."

Lily's tirade cut off midway and she clutched her throat, staring daggers at me when I stood up, a narrow-eyed glare at her. I tucked away my wand, not in the least bit remorseful for the non-verbal Silencio I'd cast on her. "Believe me, it's for your own good that you don't finish that sentence, Evans," I stated, the warning clear in my cold voice.

Realizing what I'd done, James quickly lifted the spell, but instead of Lily raging at me, she sent Prongs an impatient look. "Are you just going to let your friends hex me, now, is that it?" she asked him testily, and I could see my best friend becoming more uncomfortable by the second. I felt bad for getting myself involved, knowing that I should've controlled my temper better, but wondering how Jamie was going to play this off as a joke.

I needn't have wondered, because he didn't. His frozen silence stung worse than I expected. I could see the hesitation and apology in his eyes, along with a silent plea not to make him choose. I hadn't realized it before then, but suddenly it was clear, that a choice might have had to be made... and James might've already made it.

The stab of betrayal, aside from being totally irrational, was utterly unfamiliar, coming from the person I'd least expected it. Judging by the shocked looks on our friends' faces, I wasn't the only one, but I quickly slammed a blank expression over my features. Lily's smug, triumphant look over his shoulder was bad enough without adding the pain that was slicing through my chest at the reminder of where his loyalties ultimately laid.

Before James could say anything, I calmly stepped over the bench seat and finished the last sip of my juice, setting the goblet down. I picked up my bag, still expressionless, slinging it over my shoulder and pretending not to notice that the entire Great Hall was silent and looking at us. Sirius immediately made to get up with me, a glare on his face that I'd never seen directed at James before, but I quickly placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "You get cranky when you're hungry, you and I both know it," I told him lightly, determinedly not reacting to the soft sympathy in his grey eyes. "Eat your breakfast, Pads, and I'll see you later."

Without a backward glance at James Potter, I held my head high and all but strolled out of the Great Hall. Nobody had ever accused me of being unable to hide my emotions. I didn't let myself crumble, walking quickly towards the Astronomy Tower, and tuned out all the sounds around me.

No big deal, I told myself firmly. It's not a big deal, he's meant to be defending his girl.

Before I could reach the third staircase, I felt my arm being grabbed as I was pulled towards a little alcove. I opened my mouth, prepared to gripe at Sirius, only for my words to die on my lips as I realized who stood in front of me.

"I thought that was awesome."

I blinked up at the Hufflepuff Beater, forgetting some of my hurt in light of my confusion. "Greaves?"

He grinned widely at me, although I could see some concern in his eyes. "I've been waiting for someone to shut Evans up for years."

Maybe it was my own pendulum swinging emotions, or maybe I just really appreciated the fact that he wasn't outwardly voicing his concern, but I laughed slightly, the sound getting clogged in my throat. Without saying anything else, he pulled me into a hug and I went willingly, finding an odd sort of comfort in the strong arms that folded me into his chest. I didn't cry, but it was a close thing when I thought about how his arms weren't the ones I had hoped to be feeling.

We didn't speak for a few moments, the only sound between us of our breathing. After a few long minutes, I began to relax, no less heartbroken but a lot more composed.

"You know, it's tomorrow."

I glanced up at the Beater, a tiny, wry smile twisting my lips. "You make less and less sense every time we speak, Greaves."

Dylan laughed, leaning slightly against the wall as he looked down at me. "You said to ask you tomorrow, and we'd see," he elaborated, blue eyes lightening. "It's tomorrow. So. Hogsmeade?"

I shook my head in mild exasperation, the tiny smile still on my face. "I didn't think you were serious."

"I am," he insisted softly, something a little more earnest creeping into his voice. "C'mon, please?"

Despite my initial reservations, it seemed he really was asking me out. I considered myself a pretty good judge of character, and I couldn't see any hint of an ulterior motive from him. My first instinct was to decline, knowing that it was unfair to try to date anyone else when I was hung up on my best friend, but then I was abruptly reminded that said best friend was in pursuit of the one he was hung up on, and all at once, I got real tired of holding on.

Glancing up at him, I took a small breath. "Do you want to meet here, or at Hogsmeade?"

His brilliant answering smile made my spirits lift slightly. "I'll pick you up from your common room, yeah?"

###

"Why're you dressed so early?"

I stopped at the bottom of the staircase, pulling my jacket on as I glanced over at the couches where the rest of the Marauders were lounging about. Sirius had looked up at me from his position on the one-seater as he asked his question, a curious look to his features, and though I didn't look at the other three, I knew they were studying my jeans, tank top and boots just as curiously.

I cleared my throat, careful not to look at James, with whom I hadn't spoken much since the Hexing Incident three days ago. "Hogsmeade visit today," I offered by way of explanation, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah," this time Peter was the one who spoke, "but we usually go later, in the afternoon."

I wanted to groan, but I didn't, instead focusing on fixing the collar of my jacket. "I know," I answered, in what I hoped was a light tone. "But I won't be joining you lot today."

Passing my gaze swiftly over them, I caught the knowing smirk on Remus' features, but the rest of them remained woefully obtuse.

"Then where are you going?"

It took supreme effort not to sigh at Peter's question, but I managed it. "I'm still going to Hogsmeade," I clarified, finally looking up at them but keeping my gaze mostly fixed on anyone that wasn't James. "Just... I've got a date."

The reaction was instantaneous. Remus and Peter exchanged the most wicked grins they could and Sirius leapt to his feet with a splutter. I risked a look at James, and the hazel-eyed Chaser was wearing a look that bordered between shock, anger and hurt, with a little of something else I couldn't identify. He'd sat bolt upright at the announcement, but now seemed frozen in place, his eyes meeting mine for the first time in three days.

It took a little bit of everything I had not to flinch at the wealth of emotions I saw there.

"With who?" Sirius eventually managed to use his words, and I tore my attention back to the dramatic Black heir.

Shooting him a look, I answered carefully, "Dylan Greaves. The Puff Beater." This revelation caused another little outbreak, but Moony and Wormtail's catcalling was far less concerning than Padfoot's suddenly quiet demeanor. "Don't you even think about it, Sirius Orion Black," I warned him immediately, my hands flying to my hips. "None of you are allowed to tail me, or prank Greaves, or impede on this date in any way, do I make myself clear?"

I was met with varying degrees of the same affirmative answers from Pete, Remus and Sirius, but James was yet to say a word. I steeled myself and looked straight at him, a hint of impatience on my features.

"He's a prat," James stated bluntly, some of the anger taking over the hurt in his eyes as he looked straight back at me. "Why're you going on a date with him?"

"Oh, honestly," I huffed, frowning at him as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Everyone's a prat, to you. But I'll have you know he's been perfectly sweet to me."

It was the most we'd spoken since that day, but that revelation took a backseat when James stood up, clear agitation on his face. "Because he's playing you!"

"Oh, is he?" I asked irritably. "Explain how asking me on one date equates to playing me?"

In a few steps, James was in front of me, and the tension in the common room felt tangible. I was glad, suddenly, that the Marauders were the only ones there.

"It just does!"

"How enlightening, thanks for that." I rolled my eyes, turning around and stalking towards the portrait hole. "Grow up, James."

Silence trailed after me, and I knew exactly why.

In over a decade of friendship, I'd never once called him James, not even when we fought. No one but me was allowed to call him Jamie without any grief, and I'd never passed up on the concession, if only to remind myself that I still had some place in his life, in his heart.

Just before I could reach the portrait, I felt my wrist being grabbed and in the same motion that I was whirled around, James used my momentum to push me up against the wall next to the portrait. The air knocked out of me as my back hit the wall, but it was the intense look in his eyes that kept me from drawing another breath.

"Don't."

The single, growled word, that seemed to have been yanked brutally from deep inside him, was enough to make my heart thump triple time. His muscles were tense, and even though we weren't touching anywhere else save for his hands on my wrist and waist, I could feel the heat coming off of him like he was a furnace.

I could almost convince myself he was jealous. And maybe he was, but then Godric, James never could stand not being the first priority in my life. I couldn't afford to delude myself into thinking that he somehow returned my one-sided feelings.

So instead of immediately caving, I forced my walls back up and shook my head. "I'm going," I said simply, and after a tense moment, where the silence between us was almost stifling, I pushed James away.

I forced myself not to look back as I climbed through the portrait hole.

###

The date itself wasn't unpleasant. On the contrary, it was one of the best dates I'd ever been on, if not the best. Dylan was a complete riot, charming and funny and attentive, and not for the first time, I cursed ever having been in love with James Potter.

If he wasn't ingrained so deeply on my heart, I knew I would've fallen for Dylan faster than a heartbeat.

As it were, the tosser was in my heart, and so by the end of our date, standing in front of the Great Hall, I was met with a knowing smile.

"So tell me, how long has the Seeker been in love with the Chaser?"

I glanced up at him in shock, the denial coming swiftly to my lips and promptly dying there. Dylan didn't look too upset - maybe disappointed at most - but more than that, he just seemed compassionate to my feelings. My shoulders slumped, suddenly very tired of these feelings I'd been fighting for so long.

"Long," I answered simply with a self-deprecating smile. "Pathetic, isn't it?"

Greaves snorted. "You? Not even kind of. Potter taking this long to realize how much he loves you too? Completely."

I was already shaking my head even before he finished his sentence. "James isn't in love with me, he's in love with Evans," I reminded Dylan, feeling guilt creep up again for the topic of our discussion. "Is it normal for you to bring up your date's idiocy at the end of the date, then?" I asked cheekily.

"Normal's a date with a girl interested in me and not her best friend," the Beater laughed, poking my side playfully. Seeing my genuinely apologetic expression, he was quick to wave off my next words. "It's alright, honestly I kind of expected it. Didn't mean you weren't worth the try."

"I'd have to beg to differ on that."

"I wouldn't." His expression, suddenly, was solemn once more, as if he could will me into understanding that I was worth the threat of such disappointment. "And let's not get off topic - "

"Why not, it's a bloody bizarre topic..."

" - Potter is an idiot for not figuring it out yet, but Evans is nothing more than a distraction," Dylan finished, talking over my words with a pointed look that told me he wasn't going to let me snark my way out of discussing this. "He's just running after her, now, because he's a creature of habit. And because it hasn't occurred to him that there's a possibility of losing you."

"That's because there isn't a possibility of that," I replied quietly. "I'm his best friend, no matter my issues, I'm not going to abandon him."

Dylan shook his head with a small smile. "Not what I meant, you stubborn girl. Losing you, to him, wouldn't be abandonment. Everyone already knows you're too good a friend for that. But he'd lose the other things, like his position in your life as the most important."

"So you're saying that he's going to convince himself that he's in love with me, just so that I'll keep him on a bloody pedestal?" I asked almost testily, raising an eyebrow at how dense that sounded. Ugh, boys.

"No," Dylan rolled his eyes at me, and I had to grin at the action that he was doubtlessly copying from me. "I'm saying that he's going to realize he's in love with you too, because he can't stand the idea of there being anyone else important in your life."

"I think you're giving my best friend too much credit."

"I think you're giving your relationship with him too little credit," Greaves shot back, adopting an amused smile. "Look at what you just said; no matter what's happened, you're still calling him your best friend."

I huffed impatiently at him, feeling a stirring of discomfort in my stomach. "Of course I am, our friendship goes back too far and is too important to lose over anything."

"Is the friendship the thing that's too important, or is James the thing that's too important?"

I was quiet for a few moments, before giving him my answer in a soft voice. "No difference, Dylan, it's synonymous. Our friendship is James... there isn't a 'me' in that friendship without James."

"Exactly." I looked up to see a wistful, but still affectionate look on the Beater's face. "And there isn't a James in there without you, either."

###

Night had long since fallen around me, but I remained in the Astronomy tower.

Dylan had wanted to talk me back to the Gryffindor tower, but I insisted he go on ahead to his, claiming that I needed a walk to think. We'd parted ways as unlikely friends, and even though I still felt guilty about how our date ended, the Hufflepuff assured me that he was still thankful to have gained as good a friend as he knew me to be.

Merlin, that boy gave me a lot of credit for someone who barely knew me.

My thoughts, however, still centered on the one who knew me best.

James had been utterly infuriating over the last few days. Despite the kicked-puppy looks he'd sent me, he had made no move to talk about what happened over breakfast with Evans, or about anything else for that matter. And then there was his little display this morning! After radio silence for three days, he was pushing me up against a wall and asking me not to go, like it would've destroyed him if I did.

Well. It was destroying me, to stay.

But what was the alternative? A life without James in it just seemed boring and dull and colorless to me; like something I never wanted to be forced through. The crux of the matter was that my unrequited feelings were impairing my judgement and my ability to be his friend... which meant that maybe, just maybe, I was a little in the wrong as well.

Either way, I knew what I had to do. I had to summon up all that infamous Gryffindor courage I was meant to have, and actually talk this through with James. I couldn't lose my best friend over all this, Dylan was right.

With a course of action set into my mind, my stubborn determination kicked in and I all but marched towards the common room. It was well past curfew, I could tell, and I was pondering whether to wake James up to talk to him, or wait till morning, as I entered the portrait hole.

"AND JUST WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT?!"

I groaned audibly as my entrance into the common room was heralded by Sirius yelling. I looked over to the couches to see Peter snoring, curled up in front of the fire, and Remus reading a book where he was stretched out over the sofa. James was in the exact same spot he was this morning, looking at the floor like he was trying to memorize every carpet fiber, and Sirius... well, he was now in front of me, still fuming, looking like he was ready to tear through the castles to find Greaves and beat him to a pulp.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED ON THIS DATE THAT YOU STAYED OUT WITHOUT A WORD, TILL ALL HOURS OF THE MORNING?!"

I sent him a baleful look. "We were exploring our kinks because his dorm room was empty."

There was a split second, in which Sirius looked like a vein in his forehead was about to burst, and James looked none the better as his head suddenly snapped up.

Then both boys were heading towards the entrance and I crossed my arms, blocking their way. "Merlin, what do you two think of me?! Nothing happened, for Godric's sake I left Dylan at the Great Hall hours ago!"

"Well, then, where were you?" James demanded in a tight voice, and I fought against irritation at the fact that those were the first words he chose to speak.

"In the astronomy tower," I snapped back. "You realize that we literally created a bloody map, if you both were so worried about where I was?"

"It's up in your room and we couldn't get to it," Sirius grumbled, looking a little more placated and less homicidal.

I took a deep breath, striving for patience. "And it didn't occur to any of you wizards that you could've used a summoning charm?"

Sirius and James had the good sense to look sheepish, but Remus raised the hand not holding his book, without lifting his eyes off the page. "I thought about it."

"Well, why didn't you do it?" Sirius rounded on him instead, sounding equal parts whiny and outraged. "I was going off my rocker!"

"You're already there," Lupin informed him, looking up and grinning at me when I snorted. "Plus I, for one, thought Stripes deserved some bloody privacy on her date."

I bounced over to the sandy-haired boy, throwing my arms around his shoulders from behind the couch. "This is why Moony gets cuddles."

Remus shot James and Sirius a smug look as he put the book down to hug me back. Without letting go of my arm, he maneuvered me around the couch, pulling me down to sit opposite him. "How was it, Stripes? Did you enjoy it, or are we siccing the Gryffindor Beaters on him in the next game?"

I smiled at Remus, touched that he bothered to ask. "He was the perfect gentleman, Moony," I answered honestly, keeping my eyes trained on my friend as James and Sirius trudged back to their seats. "Even so, I reckon we're just going to be friends."

"He didn't try anything?" Sirius asked sharply, suspicion still lurking in his grey eyes. As much as it annoyed me, I was also kind of touched at the protectiveness, that had made them all stay up waiting for me and turned mischievous, carefree Padfoot into a sentient warrior.

"My virtue is well intact," I teased, smiling when the Black heir finally relaxed with another grumble. "Did you boys even move from here, since the morning?" I asked lightly, wondering whether they'd discussed the little spat between James and I.

"Not much..." Sirius suddenly looked a little cagey, glancing quickly over at James. "Prongs here..."

"I didn't want to leave," he cut in, without looking at me. It struck me hard and deep, the loss of his gaze on mine, as it would have been before. "We just stayed in."

I knew something was up, and it only added to the hurt, knowing that there was something he was hiding from me. The emotional toll of the day caught up with me and, despite the raring determination I was filled with just moments ago, I suddenly just really wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep.

I didn't trust myself not to comment on that without starting a row, so instead, I simply stood up, keeping my eyes away from all of them. "Right. Well. Goodnight, then, boys."

Maybe things would look a little better in the morning.

###

"Merlin, what does it take to sleep an entire night through in this bloody place?" I ground out, burying my head in my pillow as frantic thumping woke me up. I didn't know whether to be disappointed that the loud banging on the door wasn't instead an insistent tapping from the Potter owl... but I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat and instead, buried further underneath my comforter. I would have forced myself back to sleep on willpower alone, I knew that much for certain, but for the voice that suddenly rang through the otherwise still dorm.

"Stripes!"

The girls around me collectively groaned. "Obviously it takes not being friends with the bloody Marauders," one of my dormmates answered my earlier question through gritted teeth. I forced myself out of bed, ignoring her while I worked up a full head of steam to yell at Sirius.

Godric, I hadn't clued him in on animagi being the exception to the enchantment for the girls' staircase for him to wake me up at all hours of the bloody morning.

I swung the door open violently, ready to go off at him when his expression stopped me cold.

I had never seen him look so scared.

"Padfoot, what happened?" I asked softly, closing the door behind me as I stepped out, fully awake now despite only having been asleep for an hour or two at most.

"It's James, something's wrong."

Before he could get another word out, I turned swiftly from him, going to take the stairs two and three at a time without a care of being barefoot and possibly slipping. I didn't stop running until I reached the boys' room, Sirius hot on my heels.

"...no, please, Merlin, no..."

My throat closed up as James' terrified voice drifted over to me. I spotted him immediately, all twisted up in his sheets and swinging violently at Remus who was trying to get closer to him.

Godric, his nightmares had never been this bad before.

"Oh, Jamie..." I breathed out without thinking, hurrying forward, my heart breaking as his pleas continued. I had a better idea now, why my best friend never wanted to talk about his nightmares after he'd had them.

Turning to the three boys, I forced myself to remain calm and soothing, seeing how lost they all looked. "Remus, Peter, I need you both to sneak out to the kitchens, bring back some warm milk and anything sweet that the house elves won't mind whipping up." Truthfully, James didn't care either way about eating anything sweet after those nightmares, but he'd need a few moments to compose himself without the boys, and I was going to give him that. "Padfoot, you're on crowd control. Pacify anyone we woke up, and don't let them in for anything."

Seeming grateful to have solid directives now, the other three Marauders immediately set off to do my bidding, and it was only then that I began to approach my best friend.

"Careful, Stripes," Moony cautioned me as I moved forward, the three boys tensing in the doorway as I kept moving. "He almost cold-cocked me when I got too close."

I ignored the warning and took another step towards the sleeping Marauder.

"It's alright Jamie, everything's okay," I pitched my voice low, feeling relief burn in my chest as James abruptly stopped moving at the sound of my voice. Something about familiar surroundings, I was sure.

I distantly registered it when the boys left, the door closing softly behind them as they left me to comfort Prongs. I kept up my talking until I reached the edge of the bed, sitting down there and pressing my palm softly to James' cheek. He was completely flustered.

It seemed the light touch was all he needed, and hazel eyes flew open to lock on to my own, stark terror residing deep within them. Merlin, what had scared my best friend to the extent where he looked like that?

It didn't matter, to me. Without a word, I crawled a little closer and pulled him into my arms. With my wordless permission, he slumped into me, burying his face in my neck and trying to choke back shuddering sobs. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer still and holding on like I was the only thing anchoring him to the earth. I murmured soothing nonsense in his ear, barely aware of what I was saying until his scratchy voice interrupted me.

"Jamie."

I blinked, unsure why Prongs had just said his own name. Still, I kept up the steady motion of my fingers through those trademark Potter locks.

"You called me Jamie," he elaborated, still not lifting his head, and I realized that I'd been using his nickname through my comforting. His arms tightened around me. "Please don't call me James again."

The urge to tease, to make light of his request, was there, but I forced it back. Now wasn't the time. I heard what he was really asking of me, a consequence of knowing him better than I knew myself.

Please don't leave me. Please don't turn the page on us.

"It's alright, Jamie," I repeated my earlier words, putting the slightest emphasis on his name so that he heard my unspoken reassurance. "Everything's okay. We're okay."

For how long we stayed in that position, I didn't know, but I knew it when the door to the dorm room opened again. I knew it when the other three peered in, and I knew it too, when they decided to leave us be.

Maybe James knew as well, but if he did, he didn't react to any of it. All he did was pull me closer and hold on, as though he was afraid of letting me go.

###

I woke up slowly, content and lethargic in a way that I rarely was. In fact, the only times I woke up like this, was when...

Oh.

Right.

My breath caught in my chest when I registered my position. Usually, when James and I shared a bed to keep his nightmares away, the most point of contact was our hands clasped between us. This morning, though, I woke to a heavy arm wrapped tightly around my waist, a line of heat along my back where James' chest was pressed against me, strong legs tangled with my own, and the warm puff of breath fanning over the nape of my suddenly overheated neck.

I felt completely surrounded by him, and it made me panic and relax in equal, confusing measure.

Without consciously realizing it, I tensed, my eyes still resolutely shut, as though I could stay in this imaginary moment forever. Maybe it was the sudden tension in my back, or maybe it was something else entirely, but suddenly James was awake. I knew it, because his breath hitched, the sound almost deafening since it was right next to my ear.

For one moment that seemed to stretch forever, neither of us so much as breathed.

Then, as if he'd made some sort of momentous decision, James released his breath in a shudder that was half a sigh, and half an exhale. In the same moment, he used the arm around my waist to yank me impossibly closer, stunning a yelp out of me.

"I thought I'd dreamt last night," James spoke into the side of my neck, his voice still gruff and gravelly with sleep. It had no right being as sexy as it was.

Swallowing past the gargantuan ball of nerves in my throat, I managed to quip back, "Well, you might still have, Potter. What do you think happened?"

My words, meant to be a joking buffer that would allow me to slip from his embrace without letting on how much I wanted to stay, fell flat the moment that James tilted his face to the side, his lips brushing the soft skin of my throat

I couldn't have disguised or repressed the shiver that rocketed through me, even if I tried my hardest.

"I think I had a nightmare," he answered after a moment, his voice still low. Despite his words, he was stating his memory as a cold hard fact. "And I think that you still came, and you still stayed, even though I've been a certifiable prat to you, and you had every right to just throw ice water on my face and tell me to get a grip."

I sighed softly, the sound coming from deep inside me. "You know I'll always be there when you need me."

"It's the one thing I could always count on."

With those words, we lapsed back into silence, but while James seemed completely comfortable in our position, I was still stiff as a board. I didn't trust myself, fearing deeply that I would get addicted to the feeling of sleeping in his arms. The few hours' sleep we'd gotten curled up on the sofa last weekend was bad enough, but this... this was lethal.

Completely oblivious to my plight, James was tracing shapes into my hip with his thumb, ever so often slipping his thumb underneath the edge of my sleeping t-shirt. His arm was wrapped so tightly around me that it had ridden my t-shirt up sometime during the night, exposing the soft skin of my waist to his bare arm. It was at this point that I became aware of another little detail of our sleeping arrangements; in my haste to get to him last night, I hadn't remembered to put my nightgown on. I was all pressed up against him in just my pajama shorts and an old quiddich t-shirt of his that I'd never bothered to return after borrowing it.

Merlin and Morgana, what did I do to deserve such situations?

Before I could dwell on all this, James' soft voice tickled my ear. "I had a fight with Lily."

When my heart shattered into tiny pieces, I realized with sinking clarity that no matter if I'd gotten out of bed before he could've woke, it still would've broken my heart to hear that. I was already in too deep, there was no way off the ride.

So instead, I decided to enjoy it while I could. Relaxing in his arms, I was careful to censor any pain from my voice. "It was just a nightmare," I murmured soothingly.

"What?" My best friend's confused tone threw me for a loop, but he promptly shook his head, as much as he could without knocking into mine. "No, not the nightmare. I had a fight with her, for real. Not long after you left yesterday."

"Oh?" I was confused as to where the conversation was going, since he didn't have that long-winded tone where he was about to start complaining about how Evans never noticed him. Still, I humored him, as I always did. "What did you fight about?"

"You."

I stiffened in his arms again at the word, but this time he took instant note of it, fingers skating over the skin of my waist like it was meant to be comforting. "Relax," he breathed into my ear, and somehow, his voice sounded deeper in that moment... rougher.

"I'm relaxed," I protested automatically, even though I sounded edgy to my own ears. "What happened?"

James was silent for another moment, but when he finally spoke, I could hear the residual anger in his voice. "She had some things to say about you. I didn't take kindly to it."

"Oh, Prongs," I mumbled, feeling guilt creep in on me. There it was again, the inevitability that he might have to choose, and as much as I had been hurt that he didn't defend me before, now I was hurt for my friend having to defend me out of fear of losing me, and possibly losing the woman of his dreams in the process. "I'm sor-..."

"Don't apologize." The words, said fiercely, were belied by the soft nudge of his nose against the spot behind my ear. "It was an eye-opener for me. I finally figured it out."

"Figured what out, Jamie?"

I felt the flicker of his smile against the side of my neck. "Why it drives me mental to think of Greaves, or any other prat with you." I sucked in a breath through my teeth, but James carried on. "Why my best rest comes by sleeping with you in my arms. Why my day hasn't started until I've heard your voice." He sat up slightly now, meeting my eyes with an intense gaze that only seemed to amplify our close proximity. "Why I was perfectly fine to cut Evans down a few pegs yesterday, but the past week has been miserable thinking that I might've lost you."

For a few seconds, we were both deathly quiet, sharing breath with how close we were. My heart was beating out a wild rhythm in my chest and I so wanted to believe him, but how in Godric's name could I? How could I possibly believe that, after pining for Evans since third year, he had suddenly seen the girl that was always just right there, on the outskirts?

His powerful gaze flickered towards my lips, and I ran my tongue over it automatically. A tiny noise, somewhere between a groan and a sigh, escaped him, and he made to close the distance between us.

"Stop," I breathed, just before his lips could touch mine. I was panicking, but I was also frozen in place; desperate to feel the kiss I'd waited so many years for, but also frantically trying to keep it from happening.

Because once we crossed that line, I was never going to be able to go back.

Maybe he sensed it, the way he always could with me. The way I always could with him too. Without moving away from me, he whispered, in a voice so low that I wouldn't have had a dream of hearing it if I wasn't a mere breath away from him.

"Do you want to know what my nightmares are about?"

My eyes fluttered open - Godric, when had I closed them? - and whatever he saw there, James seemed to take as a prompt.

"Losing you." At the shock I knew was in my eyes, his lips twitched. "Always, ever since we were kids. It's why I can only get back to sleep if you're next to me. I dream of losing you, somehow, some way, some day, and it terrifies me to the point where I can't even think until I've got you close to me, so I know that I can protect you, that I can make sure nothing ever takes you away from me." He still didn't kiss me, but he dipped his head down a fraction more, so that his lips brushed barely against mine with his next words. "Please don't make me lose you... please, love."

It was that name, that one that he'd always called me, that one that suddenly sounded so much heavier, so much darker with newfound intent, that did me in.

The moment that acquiescence came into my eyes, James swooped down, claiming my lips in a deep, frantic kiss. Fireworks went off just underneath my skin and I almost whimpered with how right, how natural it felt to be getting kissed so thoroughly by my best friend. He plundered my mouth almost forcefully, as if he were starving for me, and after several beats, his hand slid from my waist to cup the inside of my knee, before bringing my leg up to hook around his hip in a single decisive move.

The shift in position made me gasp, feeling vulnerable but still so very safe with James, who took the opportunity to relocate his mouth from my lips to my throat.

"No more dates, with anyone else," he suddenly growled against my skin, voice dark with possessiveness before sucking harshly enough that I knew he was leaving his mark on me. This time I did whimper, not daring to move away from his insistent lips. "You're mine, you were always mine."

I didn't dream of denying it, because it had always been true. Instead, I just let out a strangled moan in response, tangling my fingers in his hair to bring his lips back up to mine, the best wordless answer I could give him in that moment. He nipped my bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue, and all I could do was gasp his name, a breathy, wrecked, pleading sound that had never left my lips before.

"Jamie..."

"Got you, love," he assured me in a low voice, eyes darkening at the sounds I was making. "I got you."

I gave a full bodied shiver, and my eyes drifted closed again as he reclaimed my lips, moving slowly to position his body above mine. Merlin, was this even happening? What was the catch? Did it mean everything I thought it meant? Hoped it meant?

"Stripes? Are you two awa- OH GODRIC, MY EYES!"

Ah. So there was the catch. All things considered, I would take it.

Sirius stormed in, looking conflicted, as if all he wanted to really do was take off running in the opposite direction. James, for his part, simply scowled, leaning back to his side and propping himself up on his elbow, but not before lifting his covers up to my neck.

"Merlin, Pads, don't you ever knock?"

Sirius glared at him, huffing loudly, wand arm twitching as it looked like he wanted to point it at James. "It's my bloody room too! And get off of her! My best friend and my little sister, how could you, James?!"

"You do know she's not actually your sister, Padfoot, right?" Remus intervened from where he was standing in the doorway. He had bounded in following Sirius' shout, his worried look transforming at the sight that met his eyes. He was smirking at me, looking like he'd expected things to end this way all along.

Bloody tosser. He could've filled one of us in earlier.

Sirius turned his glare on the sandy-haired werewolf instead. "Stay out of this, Moony! And you!" he snapped his attention back to James and I, grey eyes flinty and hard. In that moment, I realized that he wasn't simply being dramatic, and he looked genuinely upset. "You've hurt her enough in this week to last a lifetime, and..."

"That's what I'm trying to apologize for, Pads." James, it seemed, had also picked up on our friend's legitimate vexation, because he was being completely serious as he spoke. "Now, if you tossers won't mind leaving us alone, so that I can finally tell my girl how much I love her without you nosy sods listening in?"

I didn't hear any of their responses, or even really notice it when they left the room. I certainly didn't see Sirius waving his wand threateningly at James, and nodding in satisfaction when James accepted the threat with solemn sincerity.

No. I just heard the one bit.

'Finally tell my girl how much I love her.'

###

Okay, be gentle guys, was it okay? This is my first, so any constructive criticism or suggestions are most welcome!

Also, please let me know, if anyone is interested I was thinking of writing this in James POV as a bonus piece! Anyone think they'd like to read that? <3