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MISADVENTURES IN PARADISE
iv. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

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   THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT the Westview Anomaly that had a way of pulling you in.

   Riley felt it when she first stepped out of the van. She felt it throughout the grueling hours and days she spent studying Westview with S.W.O.R.D. Even as dusk fell, she could feel it. The tug of Westview was strong. It was alluring, enticing. It was a mysterious enigma, and above all that, it was dangerous.

   But Riley just wanted to get closer to it. She wanted to know more, to understand it. Roman, Wanda, and Vision (if it truly was him) were all in there. They were right there, and they needed her help.

   Patience is a virtue.

   She kept reminding herself of this over and over again, though it did little to soothe her restless spirit. Every time she peered up at the dome around Westview, she swore it called her name. It was a little ringing in her ear, a song with one word. Riley, Riley, Riley.

   Maybe if things were calmer, if the circumstances were different, she wouldn't feel so... obsessed with Westview. All she could think about was Roman and Wanda and Vision. Her mind kept racing ahead, and she feared it would soon drag her feet with it — straight into Westview. She knew she shouldn't act impulsively, but she wanted to.

   She needed to be calm, collected. But every time she tried to clear her thoughts, Pietro's face showed up. His screams, his unconscious body. If it wasn't him, then it was Vision and his grayed body, his bashed-in-head, his last breath. If it wasn't him, it was Roman and the last light he gave off before dying back in 2012. And if it wasn't him, it was Wanda turning into dust right in front of her. And if it wasn't her, it was someone else, something else. She had to help them. Soon, she told herself. Patience is a virtue.

   "Pick up, pick up..." Riley stood in a small corridor with her phone pressed against her ear. The line rang once, then twice, then—

   "Riley, hey!" Peter Parker soon greeted. His voice was tired and hushed, clearly attempting to be quiet.

   Riley didn't mean to sigh in relief so loudly. "Thank God. Sorry, I know it's late. Did I wake you up?"

   "Well, kinda," he said, only to hurriedly add, "but it's fine!"

   "You sure? I can always call you later. I just don't know when I'll be free again—"

   "No, no, seriously. I'm glad you called. What's up?"

   "Uh, well, a lot of things, but that's not why I called you. I just needed to hear your voice." She cringed. "Too cheesy?"

   His quiet laugh melted the tension in her shoulders. "Nah, I liked it." She could hear his bed springs squeak as he shifted in bed. "How's New Jersey? See any cows?"

   She smiled. "Uh-huh, dozens."

   "I'm jealous."

   "Oh, you should be," she quipped. "If I'm being honest, I'd rather be back home. This... thingy we're dealing with is... really complicated. Seriously, this is not what I had in mind when I thought about my first mission back on the field. You wouldn't believe how many people are here trying to work together to figure this out. I have no idea how long I'm gonna be stuck here."

   Peter said, "I know you're not, like, legally allowed to tell me anything, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" The reassurance in his voice was calming. It could tame the tides and unravel tornadoes.

   She sighed. "I know, I know—"

   "You just seem... kinda stressed."

   "You noticed?"

   "I always do when it comes to you," he told her. "Sorry, was that cheesy?"

   Riley gently laughed, but her smile faded as soon as it came. "How do you solve a problem you can't exactly... get to? Like, it's right in front of you, but can't do anything about it. You can't communicate with it, you can't really go around it, and you can't... get inside."

   She didn't expect him to have an answer, never mind one she could apply to Westview, but then he said, "Maybe you just gotta try to be one with the, uh, the thingy."

   "...Be one with it? What is that, a Yoda quote—?"

   "Noo, no, c'mon, I was being serious!" Peter laughed. "It's like when we watched Mean Girls and what's-her-name had to pretend to be mean to get in with Regina George."

   "First of all, I cannot believe you just called Lindsay Lohan "what's-her-name", and second... that's... sorta not a terrible idea. If only I knew how to do that."

   "Try to bait it? Offer it something, maybe?" he suggested. "You gotta get on the thingy's level, and then you can just walk right in."

   "You think it'll accept my tears?"

   "Hey, you never know! Offer it Roman! You can't go wrong with a sacrifice!"

   Riley was glad he couldn't see how she flinched. "Yeah, I'll think about it the next time he's being particularly annoying. Maybe—"

   "Riley!" Darcy's voice came from across the hall. "Riley, get in here! Quick!"

   "Shit," she muttered. "I gotta go."

   "I heard. Didn't realize you were so popular," he said through a yawn.

   "Only a little," she bantered. "Sorry, again, about waking you up. I'll try to call you again tomorrow?"

   "Hey, don't be sorry. I always have time for you," Peter assured. "Remember, you're Valor. And you're awesome. You got this. Don't get in your head about the thingy too much."

   "I'll try. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it a lot," said Riley. "Sweet dreams, amor."

   Their goodbyes were as they always were: rushed, brief. Riley felt like that was always how she lived her life, even when she was a child. The world was always turning ahead of her. She spent more time chasing the world on its axis than she did just living in it. Being a hero wasn't always as fun as it seemed, and she was living proof of it.

   When Riley joined Darcy, her nose was practically inches away from the TV screen. Jimmy was there, too.

   "Look!"

   On the screen, another episode of WandaVision was playing. There was Wanda, a few other staple characters, and a new character they'd never seen before: a dark-skinned woman who oddly looked just like Captain Monica Rambeau.

   Wait, that was Captain Rambeau.

   She didn't appear to be doing anything out of the ordinary, only sitting on a bench by herself and reading a newspaper. She blended in perfectly, dressed in '60s attire. The Westview Anomaly had done a number on her.

   "Does she seem okay to you guys?" Darcy asked.

   "She's alive," Riley said. "That's all that matters right now."

   Jimmy agreed. "She doesn't appear to be harmed in any way, but that is definitely not the boss lady I met the other day."

   "So, what, deep cover? Monica has to play along?" Darcy asked.

   "With whom? Or else, what?" wondered Jimmy, perplexed.

   "We still don't know if these episodes are being fabricated or manipulated," Riley pointed out.

   "Alright, brass tracks, Dr. Lewis, Valor," Jimmy started, "what are we lookin' at here? Is it an alternate reality? Time travel? Some cockamamie social experiment?"

   "It's a sitcom," Darcy reminded him. "A 1950s sitcom."

   "It's '60s-inspired now," Riley corrected. "Look at the outfits, the theme song. It changed. I just don't know what triggered the change."

   "But... why?" he asked again.

   "Hey man, we're working with the same scarcity of intel," Darcy insisted. "But, listen, I have an idea."

   Darcy's idea was simple in theory and in execution. They were going to attempt to communicate with Wanda through one of the radios in Westview. If they used a transmitter that could mimic the frequency of WandaVision's broadcast, they could potentially speak directly to her through one of the radios that were always seen in the background of the episodes.

   Riley decided to stay inside and monitor the TV while they headed outside to test their idea. She rested her chin in her hand, fingers drumming against the table as she impatiently watched the latest episode as it aired. She wasn't sure their idea would work. The way she saw it, Wanda didn't seem to know what was going on around her. Still, they were desperate. It didn't hurt to try.

   Honestly, they'd have better luck trying to connect a Bluetooth speaker to Vision's head.

   The plan ended up going as she expected: nothing happened. She thought maybe Wanda did hear them through the radio, judging how her face fell, but the episode skipped forward and everything went back to normal. Despite this, however, Riley didn't think their experiment was a complete failure.

   Now, Riley knew Wanda pretty well. If she didn't know what was going on in her head, she could guess based on her mannerisms, her actions, even her facial expressions. She did assist in her training, helping her hone in her powers and teaching her combat. Keeping all of this in mind, Riley thought about what she just watched on the TV: Wanda's face fell, her eyes went wide, then everything went back to how it was before.

   Wanda had to have heard Darcy and Jimmy on the radio. Riley was sure of it. She knew Wanda too well to not know otherwise. But why didn't she say anything back? Was her captor listening, therefore making it unsafe to act out of character?

   ...What if Wanda didn't want to reply?

   No, that was ridiculous. Wanda would've replied if she heard them. She would've given them a sign. Morse code, magical holograms. Something, anything. She wouldn't refuse if she knew someone was trying to help her.

   Patience is a virtue, Riley told herself again. Patience is a—

   That was when she saw it. Or rather, him.

   Masked under the grainy filter of the TV, colored black and white, a teenaged boy went running onscreen. He was dressed in workout clothes, clearly on an afternoon run. He would have looked like any other background character on WandaVision, but his eyes were a dead giveaway. Galaxies and stars swirled in his irises, constellations linking hands above his pupils. Roman.

   On the screen, Wanda was trying to pull a strange contraption through her front door. It was called the Cabinet of Mysteries — a prop she and Vision would be using for their magic act in the neighborhood talent show, which would be happening soon. She was hoping Vision would help her bring it to the talent show, but he was currently busy with the men of the Neighborhood Watch at the public library, leaving Wanda to drag it out herself. She yanked and yanked the thing, the audience laugh track getting louder and louder with each tug. She tried to pull it one last time, then BOOM! The cabinet broke through the door frame and barreled down her front yard uncontrollably.

   "Oh no!" Wanda cried, trying to chase after it. "Stop!"

   That was when Roman's character stepped in. It was hard to tell whether it was just a coincidence that he was there at the perfect moment or if his presence was planned for the sake of the episode. "Woah!" he exclaimed. He grabbed onto it effortlessly, stopping it from rolling onward and possibly getting destroyed.

   "Oh my goodness! Thank you so much!" Wanda cheered, catching her breath. "I don't know what I would have done if you didn't catch that!"

   "Don't sweat it!" Roman flashed her a big smile. There was something oddly charming about him based on the way he held himself and stood. He motioned to the Cabinet of Mysteries. "That's a big closet you've got here, ma'am."

   "Closet? Oh, you're mistaken!" laughed Wanda. "This is for the talent show!"

   Roman motioned to her magician's assistant outfit, which consisted of a tight-fitted, sparkly leotard and tights. "Well, that explains the outfit! Unless that's what you normally wear on hot afternoons. I don't judge!" he said. Wanda glanced down at herself, suddenly insecure. "Don't worry, ma'am. I dig it." He winked at her, making Riley roll her eyes.

   Wanda eyed the teenager before she introduced herself, "Thank you, uh, I think." The laugh track in the background was beginning to irritate Riley. "My husband and I are new to the neighborhood. I'm Wanda."

   "Ah, that explains why I haven't seen you around before. I'm James," he introduced. "Need some help getting this to the talent show? It's just on my way, it's no problem!"

   "Oh, that'd be wonderful! Thank you, James." They started to walk together, with Roman pulling the cabinet beside them. "So, are you going to be in the talent show, too?"

   "Ah, no, I can't make it," he revealed. "School's my top priority right now. I'm a shoo-in for valedictorian. I did help with ticket commissions earlier this week though. Dottie said she'd write me a letter of recommendation for college if I kept volunteering to help with these neighborhood events. I don't mind though. She's always setting up cool events, and it's even cooler 'cause it's for the children. Everything we do around here is for the children."

   Wanda smiled at the boy. "For the children, huh? That's gotta be the third time I've heard that today. You people have the weirdest sayings around here."

   "Huh? Oh, heh, I guess so."

   The scene faded, going into the next.

   Riley stared at the screen for a long time, jaw open. She didn't move throughout the remainder of the episode in hopes of Roman appearing again. The only time she ended up moving again was when Darcy and Jimmy finally returned and she forced them to watch the scene Roman appeared in.

   "Are you... sure that's Roman?" Darcy queried once the scene ended. "It's just... He seems so... sweet? And charming?"

   "Yeah, I'm a little confused about that part, too," confessed Jimmy. "When he was here, he was a little more... well..."

   "Yeah, he's usually an asshole," Riley finished, leaning back in her chair. "I'm a bit confused, too. I think we need to scrap the theory that anyone in Westview knows what's going on. If Roman was aware, I wouldn't expect him to play along like this. That's not how he works. If he knew who was behind this, he'd possess their soul and call it a day. Or he'd confront Wanda, she'd read his mind to know he's an ally, and they'd have this whole thing solved by morning."

   "So, you think the people of Westview are under some kind of hypnosis?" Darcy asked.

   "I think so, but..." Riley irritably sighed. "Something's not adding up here. How have we not figured out who's doing this yet? You'd think it'd be obvious by now, but it could be anyone in Westview! At this point, I'm starting to think the damn mailman's responsible for this."

   "...The mailman?" Darcy repeated. "What'd he ever do to you?"

   "I dunno, he looks suspicious," Riley defended. "Never trust the messenger! Don't you think it's weird how he's always just... there?"

   "He's always around because it's his job to deliver everyone's mail," Darcy pointed out. "What's the worst the mailman can do? Deliver your package to the wrong address?"

   "Hey, you'd be surprised," Riley said. "I think that's one of the worst things to happen to humanity."

   "Wrongly delivered packages? Not evil aliens?"

   "Well, it's certainly up there, but—"

   "I can't believe we're seriously having this conversation right now."

   "No, no, Riley's onto something," Jimmy chimed in. "If I had my package delivered to the wrong place one too many times, I might turn into an evil magician, too."

   "Evil magician?" Darcy echoed. "You think Westview's like this because of an evil magician?"

   "Why are you saying that like it doesn't make perfect sense?"

   "Because it doesn't!" Darcy insisted. "You guys have a point though. How have we not figured out who's responsible for this? You think there are secret messages in the show or something?"

   "Ohh, maybe," Riley said. "There was that pineapple in one of the earlier episodes. You think there's some... I dunno, symbolism we should look into? Maybe we could Google hexagon symbolism, too?"

   "What if there's some... evil demon orchestrating all of this?" Jimmy wondered.

   "An evil demon?" echoed Riley. "What happened to the evil magician? I liked that theory."

   "Maybe they're working together?"

   "...So we're ruling out the mailman completely—?"

   "Riley!" Darcy interrupted.

   Snickering, Riley said, "Alright, let me think... It's strange, right? We don't even have a... a clue..."

   Her mind wandered back to Wanda again. Her facial expressions, her mannerisms, her strangely strong American accent... It all seemed rather off to her, even more than Roman's character. She thought about Darcy and Jimmy's attempt to communicate with the radio. She thought about how the entire show was centered around Wanda (for the most part).

   "Riley?" Jimmy beckoned. "You with us?"

   Riley sat up, clearing her throat. "Yeah! Yeah, just..." She glimpsed back at the screen as the end credits began to roll, her eyes stuck on Wanda. "...Just thinking."

○ ○ ○

   The more Riley thought about it, the more she was realizing Wanda had something to do with Westview.

   She didn't want to believe it, but all of the signs were there: the energy field around the town, Vision's unusual return to life, the sitcom being entirely about Wanda and Vision living happily together. But what Riley couldn't understand was how or why this was happening. Was Wanda doing this out of her free will? Did this happen accidentally or was there a greater motive behind it? Was she working alone?

   Riley didn't want to articulate these thoughts out loud. She didn't want anyone to think Wanda was a bad person or a monster like the news once claimed. Besides, it was just a theory. A stupid little theory.

   WandaVision was getting stranger and stranger. The decade the sitcom centered itself around shifted to the 1970s, bringing color and high energy to the episodes. Every time the decade changed, new TVs had to be brought in. As of right now, Wanda and Vision were expecting a baby, Monica's character, Geraldine, was becoming a closer friend to Wanda, and Roman's character was on his way to becoming the valedictorian at the local high school.

   Roman's role as James was difficult for Riley to wrap her head around. He was your classic American teenager, a staple for any TV show. He was charming and oozed charisma, but he was smart and obsessed with his future. Every time he showed up in an episode, it was to act as comedic relief, stress over school, or ask Wanda for life advice. Honestly, if she didn't know any better, she'd say Roman's character was based on Riley.

   What made him keep showing up in the episode was his very obvious schoolboy crush on Wanda. He'd always show up and make little flirtatious comments to her, which would force her to remind him that she was married. It was sort of endearing in a weird way. Well, it was only weird to Riley because it was Roman.

   "1950s, 1960s, and now the '70s," Darcy noted, sitting between Riley and Jimmy. She was the only one out of the three who had energy rushing through her despite how late it was. "Why does it keep switching time periods? It can't be purely for my enjoyment, can it?"

   To say that the three were beginning to get way too invested in the actual storyline of WandaVision was an understatement. The sitcom was rapidly becoming a new guilty pleasure of theirs.

   "I dunno, but whoever's producing this show deserves a bunch of awards for the costumes alone," Riley admitted through a yawn.

   "I can't believe Wanda and Vision are having a baby," Jimmy chimed in.

   "You want any?" Darcy asked, holding up her bag of chips.

   "I thought about it. A little Jimmy Woo," said Jimmy, completely misinterpreting the question. "Get him a tiny little FBI badge—Huh, oh... Chip? Yeah, sure."

   Meanwhile, Riley chirped, "I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt!" They shot her a puzzled look. "What? Tony's my dad, and he and I helped birth Vision. So, technically, Vision and Ultron are my brothers. Though I'm kinda grossed out because I don't remember putting a dick on Vision—"

   Darcy cringed. "Oh, yeah, you're a Stark alright." On the screen, Monica was coaching Wanda as she went into labor. "The jig is up!"

   They watched as Wanda gave birth to two baby boys — twins.

   "This is so weird," Riley muttered. "We all saw that one coming though, right? The twins?"

   "I'm a twin," Wanda said to Monica. "I had a brother. His name was Pietro."

   "I didn't! What a twist!" Darcy cooed, tears welling in her eyes at the sight of the twins. She sniffled, ignoring her coworkers' judgmental stares. "What? I'm invested!"

   That was when Monica abruptly asked, "Pietro... He was attacked by Thanos, wasn't he? He was in a coma, right?"

   Everyone froze.

   "Did she just say Thanos?" Jimmy queried. "Has that happened before? A reference to our reality?"

   "No. Never," Darcy denied. "Why'd Wanda refer to Pietro in the past tense? He's just in a coma, right?"

   The tension between the two women onscreen was suddenly heavy. Even the three could sense from the other side of the screen. Monica's question changed the tone of the scene entirely.

   Nervously, Monica tried to change the subject. "I'll take a shift rocking the babies."

   "No, I think you should leave," Wanda sharply said.

   "Oh, Wanda, don't be like that."

   "Who are you?" demanded Wanda. Her face was solemn, head tilted. Her eyes were filled with something they hadn't seen before on the show. Light became darkness, joy became disdain.

   Monica began to panic, but there was nothing she could do. Her breaths were shaky as she tried to plead—

   The show suddenly skipped forward to the credits. Wanda and Vision sat on the couch of their living room, smiling at their newborn sons, Billy and Tommy. The episode was over.

   "What...? What just happened?" Riley stammered. "Where'd Monica go?"

   Darcy pulled up the recording they took of the episode, playing it back. The scene unraveled as it did before, with Wanda demanding who "Geraldine" truly was. But it just skipped to the credits again. Rewind, play. Rewind, play. Again, again, again. But nothing changed. The scene skipped ahead like nothing happened.

   "There's nothing here! One second, Monica is standing right there, and the next, she isn't," Darcy declared. "Someone's censoring the broadcast."

   "But where did Rambeau go?" Jimmy asserted.

   Suddenly, alarms blared across the base. Over the PA, an announcement came: "ALERT! BOUNDARY HAS BEEN BREACHED! ALERT! BOUNDARY HAS BEEN BREACHED!"

   "I think that just answered your question," Riley said.

   Toward the north side of Westview, the energy field around the town split open. A body suddenly flew through it from the inside. The hole in the field quickly merged back together, not caring for the woman it spat out. In seconds, the entire base swarmed with agents carrying large guns. Small tanks rolled out, ammunition piling inside. Riley, Jimmy, and Darcy rushed forward, pushing past the agents to reach the woman as she laid in the grass, limbs sprawled. It was Captain Monica Rambeau.

   "I need Medical over here! NOW!" Riley crouched beside her, hands reaching for her neck to check her pulse. "You with us, Rambeau?"

   "Monica? Monica, are you okay?" Jimmy asked, kneeling.

   Monica didn't reply. The only sound she made came from her short, panicked breaths. A wild look caught her eyes that concerned them more than the '70s attire she was in.

   The questions and shouts around her kept coming one after another, and each one didn't receive a reaction. But after a minute, Monica's hand suddenly shot skyward, grabbing Riley and pulling her closer. Then, she whispered:

   "It's Wanda. It's all Wanda."