''We never loved you''

''You were a mistake''

''You should have died like your sister''

''God, you're such a pathetic little thing. Crying at the sight of blood.''

They were right. No one ever wanted him. He was a mistake; a burden, an unneeded weight on their shoulders. All he ever did was cause his brother trouble. He selfishly stole the youngers childhood just because he needed care. He cried about being hated despite being loved. He took; but he never gave. It was better for him to die. To leave Donghyuck alone. So he could live peacefully. Without having to worry about Taeyong. Without having to care.

''Pathetic''

''Useless''

''Unneeded''

''A monster''

''A burd-''
______________________________________

''TAEYONG HYUNG WAKE UP!'' Donghyuck shrieked loudly, screaming into the thrashing males ears' in hope to get him to wake up, to stop thinking of whatever he was thinking about.

The younger Shook the elder violently, before his eyes flashed towards the lit up phone, reading a date he dreaded.

11th April.

It wasn't exactly a secret what occured when Donghyuck was merely two, but the younger was; since his early days; mature enough to understand the trauma it caused his brother;

Hence why, he took it upon himself to keep the elder safe from all harms, even if it meant getting hurt.

Today too, was one of the many days Donghyuck jolted up to the sound of agonized screaming, the bed screeching in protests as Taeyong Shook uncontrollably, tears rolling down his face and hands clutching the sheets in distress; wanting nothing but to escape from the monstrosity that forced him to watch his sister wither like a rose, watch the childish glimmer in her eyes that died down, the skin that turned pale, and the lips that uttered out an apology.

Donghyuck let out a shaky sigh as he vigorously uncapped the Freezing cold water bottle on the drawer next to their bed, holding it over the male's head and spilling it all on him, making him jerk up and scream a loud ''NO!'', before covering his mouth with his palm and sobbing into it.

It was painful. Really painful. When all Donghyuck wanted to do was hold the elder close, murmur sweet nothings into his ear, giggle and laugh with him, but what he had to do was sit back as his brother cried and cried; letting out every tear there was.

But as much as it pained Donghyuck to sit there and watch him, he knew that the other needed his space, and would eventually come to him if he was ready for interaction; which he mostly wasn't.

However, it took only about 10 minutes for him to look around with teary, red eyes, taking in his surroundings for a while, eventually calming down at the sight of Donghyuck looking at him wearily, eye bags prominent and gaze filled with tiredness and adoration.

This wasn't the first time Taeyong had woken up to a sleepy Donghyuck, with a tired smile on his face, beckoning him into his arms; something he did as a way of showing his love.

Donghyuck cared so much. Oh so very much.

Taeyongs lips wobbled as another sob threatened to escape, and he soon found himself clutching the youngers shirt in his warm embrace.

To say he felt horrible was an understatement.

He was supposed to be the mature one.

He was supposed to take care of Donghyuck.

He was supposed to be the younger's shoulder to cry on.

Not the other way round.

Taeyong felt pathetic. Useless. Vulnerable. He felt guilty that the younger had to give up what could've been a perfect childhood, with Taeyong doing the worrying and him enjoying life like a normal adolescent should.

Every night, fear would creep up in his heart, about how Donghyuck would blame him for the rest of his life; hating him, ignoring him, wishing he shouldn't have existed.

But Taeyong would push it to the back of his head, he would push it all until it all crashed down on him in the middle of the night, in the form of a horryfying nightmare.

And history would repeat itself, Donghyuck having to go through the day on a maximum 3 hours of sleep, just to make sure Taeyong slept peacefully; and Taeyong having to hold in his sobs each time his eyes connected to those of a tired boy; who has barely spent two days in his adulthood; tiring himself out further, for the sake of his brother.

As time passed, his sobs had died down to sniffles, and he now rested against the younger's extremely comforting touch while contemplating whether he should get his shit together or enjoy the feeling of the bony fingers running through his hair.

Deciding that it was, indeed, time to get his shit together, Taeyong gently tugged on Donghyuck's hand, removing it from his head and scooting further from the boy, back pressed against the headboard.

The questioning look on Donghyuck's face wasn't all that easy to miss, and he felt his insides crumple further at the fact that he was so immature and vulnerable, that Donghyuck found it wierd when he wasn't being annoyingly clingy.

''Yongie?'' If he wasn't feeling absolutely horrible and annoying, Taeyong would have jumped into his brothers arms without a second thought; but instead, he sighed and rubbed his fists on his eyes turning them bloodshot red.

''What?'' He didn't mean to sound rude. Especially not to the brother who practically babysat him; but when he heard his own tone, and then the way Donghyuck's breath hitched; he lost it.

His eyes pooled with tears and breathing became a burden, he felt like a nuisance, but then again, when did he not?

''I-i'm sorry-'' he stuttered out through his teeth, which were biting down on his lips to keep himself from sobbing right then and there.

He expected Donghyuck to go Godzilla on him. Scream at him, call him names, tell him how much of a dissapointment he was to him, to break him apart til he can no longer be broken.

But the one percent control he had on his sobs had broke lose when warm arms circled around him, bringing him in a hug and gently tucking his head into a shoulder.

And the dam broke.

Taeyong sobbed.

Screamed.

Thrashed.

He hit the younger in sadness.

He was confused, angry, guilty.

Furious.

How could one be so nice and kind even after having their childhood stolen from them?

How could he not hate him?

Why was he so nice?

Why wouldn't he let Taeyong kill himself without the guilt of leaving him?

Why did he care?

Why couldn't he just kill Taeyong himself?

Who allowed him to be this good?

Who allowed him to break the elder apart?

Perhaps, it was Taeyong.

But that didn't make Donghyuck budge from his place.

The younger held Taeyong when he punched his chest, screamed into his shoulder and clutched his nape in his fingers, with such strength, Donghyuck was sure it'd leave a scar.

He held Taeyong when he cursed at him, begged him to stop being nice, ordered him to hit him where it hurts (possibly his heart), til it hurt no more.

And It hurt.

So much.

So very much.

But he knew better than to cry right now. He knew better than to make the elder regret his outburst. He knew better than to ask for care, from he, who needed it the most.

So he let Taeyong make him feel horrible.

He let him scream.

He let him break apart in his arms.

He didn't stop him.

And as he held the man who once reflected the light of the Sun, the Shine of silk, and the beauty of a rose through his downfall;

He realised;

Taeyong was a mirror of what he was behind his mask of love and care.

Taeyong was the crumpling sadness that tore Donghyuck into bits, feeding off his pain.

Taeyong was the pain of being lonely, but not alone.

Taeyong was the Fury of having to care, without care.

Taeyong was who he feared to be.

But that's who he is.

His brother; his family; his mirror.

The broken shard that cuts through him.

The painkillers that fight the pain away.

Taeyong was his everything.

______________________________________

''You're A Mirror Of What I Hide Inside-''

''Then Break Me''

''-And I'll embrace you, forever''