Is this a diary?

Well, i don't know. It could be?

Anyways, i've made a promise to myself.

That i'll update this daily. Or maybe weekly.

You see, my will isn't that strong enough.

Okay.

Today, my future self who didn't gave a pit about your past,

Our p.e. teacher kinda makes us walk through the memory lane.

Y'know, walk through your old grade school and then through middle school. And then over and over again.

Also, its a pleasant day for once.

Mondays are always relaxing for my somophore high school years.

Except its not relaxing for my muscle, that's for sure.

Ah, you come here for a insightful view of life, right?

Okay so a day ago, I posted on my wall that people actually don't give a wick about my stories.

And that includes people close to me.

I pester them continously before they start reading my stories. Unwillingly of course.

They....

Okay, i don't give a shortcake about what other people thinks anymore.

Its not like they're going to actually read what i wrote if they didn't know me.

When i write, I want to be recognized for writing.

Not for forcing people to read her stories.

But its just soo hard to endure.

I'm a weak willed girl.

Example,

I'm extremely passionate to make this story.

Okay, so i made this within a month, and i couldn't wait for other's reaction.

I don't receive any meaningful reaction.

The best is 'i love it'. Which is only obe person who comments among the other hundred.

The worse is 'update!'

I ha- i mean, i strongly disagree with their opinion.

I understand you want more, but could you give me a hand on how?

Nobody replies.

I'm sad, and now i'm going to drown into procrastination even further, thank you for that, random stranger.

As i told you, i don't want to care about other people's view on me ANYMORE.

The caps being the keyword.

I ALWAYS think what people are going to think of me first before doing something.

I'm sensitive to other's opinion on me.

I couldn't help it, i'm too focused on other's view to actually care what I'm doing is right or not.

Is this good for me?

Would they hate me if i do this?

Should i...

Should i refrain myself from doing this?

They would hate me for that.

Don't get me wrong, i tried approaching people.

And somehow it could lead to my self esteem lowering to its lowest.

I'm tired.

And i thought internet is the place you could let loose of yourself, and enjoy things you enjoy.

I'm done here.

Actually idk what i'm saying either.

Maybe myself from the future could.

Next topic is a bit controversial for my peers around me.

Not like anyone care to read this anhway