Yoongi

Silence met my breathe in a dark room. My bedroom was nothing but gloom as I laid in my bed at 3 in the morning on a school day. My homework was untouched and my dinner had only a bite taken out of it. Soon ill be called down for breakfast and most likely only take a bite from that. Not because im not hungry, but because my stomach aches fro this overwhelming pit of angst that burns more than the acid.

Jimin and I hadnt talked much. By much I mean saying more than what you'd say to a cashier at a store. The simple 'hello' and 'my days going great, hows yours been?" shortly followed by the semi sarcastic sounding but completely heartfelt, or perhaps vis versa "have a nice day".

I hadnt meant to basically avoid the boy i like so much for days. In fact, its the reason i hadnt smiled in days. Its tearing all the nerves in my body apart. Making me feel unsettled and unable to perk my lips upwards.

I want to be able to say something to him. To act like nothing happened; moreso for his sake rather than my own. Jimin needs a friend and I was supposed to be that. I wasn't suppose to touch and praise him in ways that terrified him. I was supposed to be his best friend, but my greed and lust overrode my intentions.

I wanted to treat hi better than the rest, yet somehow to it a step farther than the rest. Id become the worst. I dont know how i let myself fall so hard that my mind was hazed so heavily with this aching need for Park Jimin. I dont know how i let myself do what I did to him. How I wasnt sure how to react and how I said no to him wanting to continued. Then again, how could i have said yes? I couldnt. Theres no way.

Ill never hurt Park Jimin again. At least id like to hope ill never hurt him again. As of right now i must be. Leaving him on his own for days with nothing but small talk here and there.

A yawn escaped my lips as I turned om my side. Pulling the blanket up further, wrapping it around my shoulders. My eyes closing as I continued on my thoughts. Much like the last few nights before this one, i'll drift to sleep with a frown on my face. Stuck on the thought of the boy whos always in a mini skirt, the boy whos my best friend and whom I wish to be so much more, Park Jimin. Forever regretting my actions from nights ago.

-

Im trying

Thanks for all your comments btw. Ive been so stressed lately and the comments i receive on my stories always lift my mood.

I hope people are still reading this story. I enjoy this one. I hope others do as well. I want to update more but betwen constant writers block, work, and school im a mess. However i only working one day this week so hm.