Foxy: I just want to be on top for once...

Foxy:

Foxy: Wait, that came out wrong.

Lolbit: Bottom.

Foxy: No.

Bon Bon: Bottom.

Foxy: Stop it.

Ballora: Bottom.

Foxy: NO!

------------------------------

Foxy: DUDE, YOU'RE COVERED IN BLOOD!!!

Puppet: Don't worry, it's not mine.

Foxy: Phew, That's good.

Foxy:

Foxy: Wait-

------------------------------

Baby Freddy: If my chicken is dirty should I put it in the washer to clean it?

Foxy: No, that you be a mistake.

Baby Freddy:

Baby Freddy: Foxy?

Foxy: Yes?

Baby Freddy: I made a mistake.

------------------------------

Puppet: I never had a best friend...

Foxy: I'll be your best friend!

Puppet:

Puppet:

Puppet: I never had a boyfriend before either.

------------------------------

Puppet: Hey, hey, stop the music-

Puppet: Somebody dropped an ice cube on the floor and it melted and my sock got wet.

Puppet: whO THE F-

------------------------------

Bon Bon: What are you, five?

Freddy: Yeah, five heads taller than you.

Bon Bon:

Freddy: Please don't kill me, I was kidding.

------------------------------

Freddy: You played me like a fiddle.

Baby: Oh no, fiddles are actually difficult to play.

Baby: I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

------------------------------

OTHER! Freddy: How many children do you have?

Foxy: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

------------------------------

Foxy: Oh, hey Lolbit.

Lolbit, internally: There he is, he's here, my favorite person in the world, the love of my life. Crap, I just want to stare at him and hold him and kiss him for the rest of my life-

Lolbit, out loud: what the HECK do you want!?

------------------------------

Lolbit: I don’t know how to tell you this, Foxy, but you’re in love with me.

Foxy: What?

Foxy:

Foxy: Oh my god, I am.

Baby: What kind of confession did I just witness?

------------------------------

OTHER! Freddy: Didn’t you die?

Foxy: That was an hour ago, things change.

------------------------------

Freddy, Puppet and Baby: [screaming]

Foxy, running into the room: What’s wrong, Baby?!

Puppet: Why are you only asking Baby?! We’re all screaming!

Foxy: Because Baby doesn’t scream unless it’s an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

------------------------------

Baby, peeking under the blanket: Ballora? Are you ready to come out and interact with other people?

Ballora: [demonic screeching]

Baby: Understandable, have a nice day.

------------------------------

Bon Bon, as the Marriage Officiant: Okay, repeat after me.

Nightguard: After me!

Bon Bon, to Ballora: ...Are you sure you want this one?

Ballora, with heart eyes: The only one, yes.

------------------------------

Lolbit: You love me, right, Foxy?

Foxy: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

------------------------------

Baby: Are you a top or a bottom?

Foxy: I'm a threat.

Lolbit, walking by: He's a bottom.

------------------------------

OTHER! Freddy: Isn't the idea that I saved your life, and now you owe me a debt?

Foxy: No, it's the other way around. You saved my life, now I'm your problem.

------------------------------

Baby: Who's your favorite vampire?

Freddy: Hm... the Muppet from Sesame Street.

Baby: He doesn't count!

Freddy: I assure you, he does.

------------------------------

Baby: How was the honeymoon?

Foxy: Lolbit got delusional and tried to burn our marriage certificate.

Foxy: She said “Good luck trying to return me without the receipt.”

------------------------------

Foxy: Lolbit, give me your hair dyer.

Lolbit: What?

Foxy: Don't you carry one in your purse?

Lolbit: Have you ever met a woman?

[Later]

Foxy: Ballora, do you carry a hair dyer in your purse?

Ballora: Of course. I'm not an animal.

------------------------------

Freddy: [doing everything wrong]

Freddy: Like that?

------------------------------

Ballora: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me.  

------------------------------

OTHER! Freddy: I didn't understand why people care so much about their kids till I got a one myself. I've only had Baby Freddy for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. 

------------------------------

Baby: Dude, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.

------------------------------

Lolbit, about Foxy: Ugh he’s so stupid, I can’t believe I'm gonna ask him out.

Baby:

Baby: I mean, you don’t have to.

Lolbit: No, I’m gonna.

------------------------------

Lolbit: I only feel one emotion and it’s anger.

Foxy: Last night you texted a thousand heart emojis.

Lolbit: Out of anger.

------------------------------

Foxy: *pulls out a knife*

OTHER! Freddy: How many of those do you have?

Foxy: How many do you need?

------------------------------

Baby: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Foxy: Okay, but in my defense, Puppet bet me 50¢ that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Baby: That's not what I wanted to- you drank shampoo!?

------------------------------

Baby: Okay, this is a family problem.

Nightguard: (stands up and walks toward the door)

Foxy: Where are you going?

Nightguard: Baby said it was a family problem.

Baby: Yes it is, you are part of THIS family

Nightguard: BULLCRAP!! SINCE WHEN?!?!

------------------------------

OTHER! Freddy: Hey, I need some dating advice.

Foxy: Just because I'm dating Lolbit doesn't mean I know how I did it.

------------------------------

Ballora: Take a left down that cliff.

------------------------------

Lolbit: If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee!

Puppet: If you were my wife, I'd drink it!

------------------------------

Baby: You can't solve your problems with sad flute music!

Puppet: I can try!

------------------------------

Puppet: What are you doing?

Freddy:

Puppet: Don't walk on my roof!

------------------------------

FOXY, PUPPET AND LOLBIT AT A PARTY

Person: Oh what a pretty lady.

Lolbit: Thanks.

Person: Which one of you gentlemen is third-wheeling?

Lolbit: That'd be the pretty lady.

------------------------------

Foxy: Lolbit, you forgot to pay the electric bill!

Lolbit: Isn't it Puppet's turn?

Puppet: I don't live here.

Lolbit: Our fridge says otherwise.

------------------------------

Foxy: [accidentally brushes Lolbit's hand with his own]

Lolbit: [aggressively holds his hand]

Lolbit: Freaking commit to it.

------------------------------

Baby: Okay so we are kinda losing here.

Baby: So if anyone has a plan-

Lolbit and Freddy: [raises hand]

Baby: -that doesn't involve murder-

Lolbit:

Freddy:

Baby:

Lolbit and Freddy: [lowers hand]

------------------------------

Foxy: I do nothing and I still get in involved in stupid stuff.

------------------------------

Puppet: Good question Foxy.

Foxy: How come you don't point out when I ask good questions?

Lolbit: I don't love you like he does.

Puppet: Told you.

------------------------------

Foxy: That's my girlfriend suckers!

Lolbit: Your wife, Foxy.

Foxy: MY WIFE! EVEN BETTER!

------------------------------

A/N: Hey guys, I have a small writer's block so I made this to give you something to read and so I could try and get rid of my writer's block. I should have a new oneshot coming out this week. I'll try to to a consistent pace to publish new chapters.

Don't forget that you can send in requests for oneshots in the comments. Try to keep your requests family friendly, but there can be a few dirty jokes here and there.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story. Keep your eyes open for a new oneshot this week.