Olivia

I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning. My mind went first to Cat's phone call telling me she wasn't coming home tonight. She and Alex were staying at their apartment. I still don't think it's a good idea, but I know my opinion is not wanted.

Cat though as never been on her own. She's always had Liam or her family and now Alex. I know she needs or wants to have that support to fall back on, but I fear one day it'll let her down.  It will be a crushing blow.

Then my mind wanders to Doug. He was so sweet tonight. He doesn't talk much about his past with other women, which is fine by me because I really don't want to talk about my past with men, either. Sometimes I worry if he knew how I've been treating myself and my relationships with other men that... I don't know... that he'd be disgusted with me. Or, maybe I think that because I'm disgusted with myself.

I didn't set out to become a player. My heart demanded it, though. Too fragile to even consider investing in another human being. So, love 'em and leave 'em, that was me until Doug. He crept past all my defenses. Slowly earning my trust, until one day I found myself wondering if I could really love him. Dillion springs to mind.

I place my pillow over my face and scream into it. Slowly, I pulled it down and hug the crap out of it. What could he have to say after all this time? And why now? It's been years. If he wanted to make amends, he had plenty of opportunities. So many times, I hoped he would reach out to me, but he never did.

I'm so tired, but sleep appeared pointless. Today was going to suck as far as school. I'd call out, however, I can't afford the absences. My Spanish teacher threatened to drop me an entire letter grade if I missed another of his classes. As an elective, I thought I could get away with it, and with how I liked to party getting up early for class didn't seem worth the effort. Guess, I was wrong.

I take a shower, dress, and trudge downstairs to get some coffee. The house is abnormally quiet since the girls are all asleep. I set up the coffee machine, but I know it's pointless. I drink coffee so often that the caffeine no longer affects me as it should. For me, it's the equivalent of drinking water, only less hydrating. Still, there's something about the warmth and taste I refuse to give up.

I smell it brewing. I forgot to say I love the smell. Mmm coffee... I'm meeting Dillion for coffee... and just like that my brain could think of nothing else for the rest of the day.

I'm startled awake when my phone vibrates in my pocket. My elbow slips and my head nearly hit my desk. The call goes to voice mail. It would seem I had fallen asleep in the back of Biology class and everyone left me here when the bell rang. Well, why wouldn't they? I'm of no consequence to them.

I check my message. It's Cat. She wants to meet up for lunch and wondered where I was. I pack up my books and head to the cafeteria.

Cat is normally a morning person, but this morning she is unusually perky. I'm guessing she pulled off getting back together with Alex.

"Wow! Rough night?" Cat handed me a latte. I take it, grateful yet disappointed, as I don't think even this could put a dent in how tired I feel.

"A little."

"You and Doug aren't fighting, are you?"

"Doug and I never fight. It's unnerving. For a man that tackles other men to the ground, he really tries his best to avoid all confrontation."

"They do call his position defense, so..." Cat said, grinning at her own joke, and I could only roll my eyes at her.

"So, you and Alex...?" I ask, not that I want to hear, but because I know she's practically vibrating in her seat to tell me.

"We worked things out. I want to go there this weekend." Her features cloud over. "His dad died."

That woke me up. "Wow! When?"

"A few days ago, I guess. He's still figuring out all the details."

"I thought he was estranged from his family."

Cat looks at me strangely. "Did I tell you that?"

Shit, no Dillion told me that. Damn! I hate being tired. I give her a nonchalant shrug. "You must have, how else would I know?" I take another sip of my latte and pray Cat will accept this answer.

"Huh, I guess so. It all seems surreal. He hasn't talked to them since his brother's death."

"That's got to be awkward."

"Yeah, I feel so bad walking out on him. Especially, now that I know how much he needs me."

I grimaced into my cup. "How were you supposed to know? If he took the time to communicate, he wouldn't have put you in that position."

"I suppose. Maybe I should try to get there sooner."

I can feel the tension in my shoulders building as once again I witness Cat trying to rearrange her whole life for another guy.

"What about your classes?"

"I'm sure I could work out something."

I keep my mouth shut. Men are the quickest way to ruin a relationship between women. If a girl breaks up with a guy, and you go on a 3-hour rant trashing him, thinking you'll make her feel better - well, the last laugh is on you because she'll get back together with him and guess who she won't be talking to anymore? You. Why? Because now she knows just how much you loathe her man.

This is why I didn't say anything to Cat about Liam when they broke up. Well, not more than I thought she already knew.

"I thought Alex went home."

"He did, but he accidentally broke his phone. So, I bumped into him at the phone store."

"What are the odds? Wait, didn't you go with Liam?"

Cat looks away for a second. "Yeah, but..."

"And Alex was okay with you two spending time together?"

"Well, not exactly..."

"Because you do remember the last time Alex saw you two together, Liam was forcing his tongue down your throat?"

Cat swatted me. "It wasn't like that, and you know it?"

"Sure, I know it. Just like I know that's exactly how Alex saw it."

"Alex said he's willing, for the sake of the baby, to work things out. To not be so hard on Liam. You know, to try and get along."

I love Cat. She's an eternal optimist. There are times when that optimism really borderlines on the naïve. I refuse to stamp out that spark in her, but I'd feel neglectful if I didn't inject with a tad bit of reality.

"And I'm guessing you've talked to Liam about doing the same, correct?"

Cat looks away.

"I see."

"I will. I WILL," she affirms, most likely because of the look of disbelief I'm giving her right now. She jumps to changing the subject.

"What are you doing after school? I was thinking of doing a little shopping, with this belly getting bigger, I need a few more tops."

"After school, around what time?" Please don't say 3. Please don't say 3.

"I don't know. Your last class is around 2:30 right? So, is 3 good?"

I hate my life sometimes. "Three, wow? Yeah... no, that doesn't work for me today. Got an appointment I can't miss. How about I take you out to dinner, and we'll go shopping then?"

"I have tutoring to do tonight."

"You're still tutoring Mike's daughter. I thought you were only doing that for a month."

"I promised to do it for free for one month. His daughter's grades are improving, so he's hired me to continue tutoring her until her finals exams, plus some SAT prep."

"Damn, girl. Only you could take what was a complete catastrophe and turn it into a money-making opportunity."

Cat laughs. "Hey, if you got the gift..." she pretends to brag.

"Yeah, yeah. So tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow sounds great. I, uh, I forgot my notes for my next class, so I'll have to get them before class starts. Sorry to jump out, but..."

"It's okay. I'll see you back at the house tonight."

"Okay. See you then."

It was weird for Cat to just blow me off like that, but I couldn't help but notice she kept glancing at her phone while we talked. I wonder who she was waiting to call.

I picked up a snack, not really into lunch, and headed to my last class for the day. Food helped with brain function, but I'm still too tired to really concentrate on anything. I couldn't be more relieved than when class was over.

My bed looks so inviting. I wish I could crawl into it and forget about the rest of the world for a while, but there is no time. I lay across the mattress for a moment and stare at my ceiling. In less than 30 minutes, I'll be sitting across from Dillion. Finally, I'll find out what he has to say.

That's the last thing I remembered thinking before I drifted off to sleep.