Riley is alive. I can hardly believe it, but she's alive and back home.

That doesn't mean everything is back to normal, though.

"Watch her carefully." That's what the doctor had told Topanga and Cory when he allowed her to be checked out from the hospital. She's hardly allowed to be alone. She isn't allowed to close any doors. She isn't allowed to leave her place without one of her parents tagging along.

School is a huge no-no, and I wish I didn't have to go either. Everyone is constantly questioning me, and I've been nicknamed the best friend of "that girl who tried to commit suicide."

Riley refuses to tell her parents about Suzy's bullying, and she made me swear to keep it secret as well. She even went so far as to threaten another suicide attempt.

I can tell she isn't happy about her attempt not being a success. She acts ready to grab every knife she sees if only to use it to slice her wrists, and stares at her parents' pill bottles with something like longing.

In all honesty, I hate seeing her like this. And I know it's a horrible thought, but I'd rather her be dead than so miserable.

"Riley?" I ask. It's one of the rare times where we can be alone. "Would you go back to school now if you could?"

Riley looks up at me, her brown eyes glimmering with hope. But only for a second.  "Of course. I hate being here, being watched over like I could find a way to kill myself with a fucking book."

"I could talk to your parents about it. It'll take some arguing, but I bet I could convince them to let you go back to school..."

She doesn't look up, pulling at a string coming out of the blanket. "Okay."