ARNAV

When I decided to lie to Khushi about the kiss thinking it was going to be easy, I guess I was wrong. It had been just a week since she left, and I was literally going crazy without her, I felt so empty, as if there was something really important missing in my life.

If I hadn't acted stupid that day, then today she could be here with me, but no I wanted to be clever and now I was paying for my deeds.

When I saw her pictures on Instagram, the first thought that came into my mind was that I wanted to go to Bali, find her and tell her what I felt but that would have been really crazy and I wasn't crazy, I was a normal human being who wanted to love her but let her live her life too, so as difficult as it was, I decided I was just going to stay here and wait for her to come back then talk to her.

Can we first talk about how gorgeous she looked in all those pictures? A part of me was scared that some guy in Bali was going to get a crush on her and approach her before I could make things right between us.

Seriously, this girl had driven me crazy!

I spent my days and nights just looking at those pictures over and over again, admiring how beautiful she was and regretting what I did to her.

Currently I was seated in my car which was parked outside her mansion because I knew she was coming back today and although I knew that she was going to be tired from the journey and I should have waited until tomorrow to talk to her, I dint want to wait, I had made a stupid mistake once and look where that had brought me, I didn't want to do anything of such sort again.

I kept on looking at my watch and hoping she would arrive anytime soon, I missed her, I missed seeing her, I missed everything about her and how her presence made me feel, I hadn't been in peace this entire week and I knew I was going to be at peace only when I saw her and maybe even had a chance to talk to her.

I saw a car heading inside and my heart started to beat so fast, I knew it must be Khushi finally arriving back.

I waited as the car was finally parked right outside the mansion and Khushi and Ananya stepped out, this girl looked gorgeous even when she was tired.

I could no more wait to talk to her so I stepped out of my car and started walking towards her, she turned around and her eyes fell on me, she looked surprise but dint react much, she just stared at me continuously as I walked towards her, and while I took each and every step towards her, all the storm I had going in inside me just started to calm down.

Why was this situation again reminding me of the song I had heard on the radio that day? It was as if my entire story with Khushi was based on it, as I kept walking towards her, it kept on playing on my mind repeatedly.

Jab jab tere paas me aaya, ek sukoon mila...
Jise mein tha bhoolta aaya, who wajood mila...
Jab aaye mausam ghum ke, tujhe yaad kiya...
Jab sehme tanhapan se, tujhe yaad kiya...
hmm... dil... Sambhal ja zara... phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu...
Dil... yahin ruk ja zara... phir mohabbar karne chala hai tu...

"Hi." I said as I finally stopped in front of her trying to make the song to stop playing in my head, why were the lines really fitting into my situation this much?

"What are you doing here Arnav?" She asked, she was still disappointed with me, I got it, I had hurt her, she had all the right to be disappointed.

"I've waited an entire week to talk to you Khushi, I couldn't wait anymore." I said.

"I am tired, I need rest." She shrugged as she started walking inside the mansion.

"I know, but I promise I won't take long, just listen to me once Khushi, please." I begged as I followed her inside.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk to you Arnav." She continued walking, why couldn't she just stop, look at me and let me talk for once?

I kept on following her until she was in her room, she sat down on the bed but dint even bother to look at me.

"Khushi I am sorry, I behaved badly with you that day, please let me explain." I looked at her hopefully, I wish she could just let me explain things.

"What do you want to explain Arnav? When you had the chance to explain things, you explained them very well, you kissed me back because I kissed you, it was charity, I got the point, I no more need explanations, so kindly just leave, I don't want to be rude or anything." She said angrily, she still wouldn't look at me, she just kept on staring at the floor.

I walked closer towards her, bent down on my knees so she could at least look at me, she seemed a bit surprised when I bent down but dint say anything, I moved closer and rested my head on her lap.

"I dint mean any of those words Khushi, I dint kiss you for charity or whatever the words I said, I kissed you back because I liked you, I have liked you since the first day I saw you, I've been crazy for you Khushi, every day I saw you all I wanted to do was kiss you but I couldn't because you were with Aditya.

And then when you broke up with him, and spent time with me and kissed me, I was happy, that's why I even promised we'll talk about it Khushi, it all happened because I liked you, so much I've never liked anyone else like this, please believe me."

"If you really liked me, why did you change your mind Arnav?" She stood up and walked aside, she stood beside the window looking outside, I guess I must have hurt her so much because she dint even want to look at me.

"Because I was scared Khushi."

"Really? What scared you? Arnav Singh Raizada? I mean what could possibly scare you?" She laughed sarcastically as she turned to look at me, finally she was looking at me.

"The thought of hurting you scared me Khushi." I replied, she seemed surprise by my answer.

"Remember when I took you to meet my family? You obviously saw how I behaved with them dint you? My family is so orthodox Khushi, for them a woman's place is only inside the house and in the kitchen, dint you see how they were even treating my brother's wife Ishani?" I said.

"What are you trying to imply Arnav, what does your family have to do with what you said to me?"

"It has, please come, sit with me I'll explain everything to you and after that whatever decision you take, I'll respect it." She nodded as she walked back towards me, the both of us sat down on her bed as I started explaining things to her.

All my life, I've just seen women being mistreated in my family which they don't deserve at all, a lot of times I've tried to sit down with my family and reason with them, try to change their thinking and all but it never worked, and when I knew there was no hope I just stopped bothering about them, why do you think it was after ages that I finally had dinner with them when I took you home? Because I really just can't tolerate their shit.

So the point here is that I hate their thinking Khushi, I hate their behavior but at the end of the day, they are still my family, I can be angry on them and I might never talk to them well, but I still love them, and at the end of the day, seeing their faces before I go to bed is the most peaceful thing ever.

I was starting to be okay with it, I had decided not to ever get into a serious relationship because I knew I didn't want to bring any girl into this misery. I was doing fine, having casual relationships and all, and then one day out of nowhere you came into my life, and I went crazy over you.

I don't even know how things went, all I know is one day I saw you and I kept wanting to see you, to spend time with you and the next moment I found myself falling in love with you and then the kiss between us happened, I was the happiest man Khushi.

Then I realized if I do this, I would put you into a lot of problems. Look, whatever I'm looking for with you is pretty serious, I hope about getting married to you some day and it scared me, because I knew once you got into that family, you will face a lot of problems, and I dint want that for you Khushi.

I dint want you to let go off your dreams for me, by trying to stay with me and my family, that's what Ishani has done for my brother, I dint want you doing that for me.

I know I thought too far ahead, even without knowing if what you were looking for with me is serious or not, but this is me, I overthink a lot and I overthought this entire thing.

And then Ishani made me realize where I went wrong and that's when I decided I wanted to talk to you and let you take the decision instead of me taking it for you." I sighed.

She kept on looking at me silently trying to digest all the information I had given her.

"So here I am Khushi, telling you that I kissed you back because I was already in love with you, it wasn't any charity or anything, it was because I feel for you and I really want to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you, but there's no pressure here, the rest of the decision is upon you, whether you want to be with me or not, I'll let you to think about it." I said as I stood up and walked away, she dint stop me either so I kept walking until I was back into my car.

There was one thing I dint tell her about this entire thing, about how at first it wasn't just my family but I was scared of my own self and that's why I said what I said that day. Because if I started explaining how I felt I was getting obsessed with her, she would need more explanation and I would have to tell her about all the stupid things I had done for her, which dint seem right, especially where I got a girl to kiss Aditya so they would both break up.

I knew I shouldn't have hidden that from her, but I had promised myself to work on it, to let her free, and never to be obsessed with her, so as long as I wasn't doing anything wrong anymore, it dint matter whether I told her about it or not.