hi there.

so, as you can see on my message board, i've had a rough few days.

and i know some of you were concerned, so i thought i would explain what's been going on.

please note, that the two things going on involve two users. I am not going to mention their users, because unlike some people, i want to respect their privacy. These two people may have wronged me and treated me like crap, but i will not stoop as low.

i'm writing this to release a burden from my shoulders and to tell everyone what's going on.

[PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS IS RESOLVED. I'VE TALKED TO THE USER AND WE BOTH AGREE THAT WE DID IMMATURE AND WRONG THINGS. I AM NOT PROUD OF SOME OF THE THINGS I SAY NEXT, BUT PLEASE KNOW I'M ONLY KEEPING THIS UP FOR ME AND NO ONE ELSE.]

first things first: the graphic hater.

a few days ago, i was talking to a requester because i was unsure whether or not the user had their book published.

then, this user decided it was their right to comment while i was having a discussion with my requester.

this user said, and i quote 'tf who's going to publish a book without a cover'

as a graphic designer, it is hard making covers for a book that's not published.

why?

because chances are, the book is never going to be published and the cover will never be used.

it's a waste of time. i could be doing other things, like making covers for requesters who are actually going to use the cover.

so, i tried to be polite. I said please remove yourself from this discussion or i'll mute you.

the user continued.

i admit, i could have blocked that user right then and there. it was my decision to keep it going.

i threw some shitty comments, the user threw some shitty comments. i was called a doe headed bitch and my graphics were called shit.

finally, i decided to mute this user.

but, apparently, they weren't done.

they decided to post a rant book and indirectly targets me. here are some screenshots from that rant:

so my work is apparently sloppy but whatever

i find the photoshop thing fucking hilarious because this user claims to have taken a photoshop class, yet they don't even know the right size for a graphic?

no, i'm not calling my work absolute perfection. improvement takes time.

but my graphics are not sloppy. 

i was absolutely aggravated.

now, for my favorite part:

one of my really good friends molliest was as angry as i was, so she decided to do a few things. the next few pictures were taken by her, and then sent to me.

as you can see, the user actually calls the covers i made for mollie pretty, and because they were "inspired by her?" mmmm i don't think so boo.

ooo here's my favorite part:

yikes nice cover up there bud.

and you call mollie a child yet you act like one and your graphics literally look like a 2 year old finger painted them??

but, that's none of my business (;

here's kind of a misc collection of photos. mollie found this conversation on this user's profile:

that's me on one of my backups. and since i couldn't reply, i'll say my reply here since i know this user will stalk my book (;

sorry, i don't take money from the poor!!

mollie, being the badass investigator she is, decided to check the facts:

first of all, i never sent anyone to stand up for me. i just happen to have incredible friends.

secondly, how the fuck can someone praise positivity when they literally started hating on me for no absolute reason?

yes, i have dealt with this user before. i was going to accept their request, but then they cancelled it, so i did say that they could request again.

so they did, except they did it for their friend.

if you want a cover, you request it for yourself. it's not rocket science.

and also, i don't tell people to complete their payment before i've overlooked their request. i state the payment choices in the rules, but nowhere does it say COMPLETE PAYMENT BEFORE REQUESTING A GRAPHIC LOLZ!!1!!!!!2132!!!GRE3REW

that is the requester's choice and only the requester's choice.

i cannot control what someone does.

fucking preach ^^^

i know i'm stooping as low as this user, but hey, sometimes you gotta catch up!

i am not ashamed for pointing someone like this out, and please let me know (if you know this person) if this user starts attacking you because i've had enough with people like this and i will not hesitate to bring a bitch down.

oh and since you'll read this:

grow the fuck up. you're immature and quite problematic.

if you're going to continue to act like a fucking five year old, then i will report you because the only thing you've done on wattpad is create hate.

you constantly comment on people's graphics, telling them how you're amazing and that they need to do this and this to become a graphic expert like you and shit like "this could've been better"

seriously?

who gave you a badge that gives you the right to hate on people's graphics and claim yourself as a fucking graphic god?

newsflash: you are not.

one photoshop class or even multiple photoshop classes don't mean you have talent.

artists like avengeur, lotteholder, jakepatt, nightgate, voidmoriarty, seventhstar, whayever, bella_a_bancroft, onederstruck- , -kaity , bonitarogue , xantherowd, geminigraphics aphrodite720 , sarah_kingxx , theheraera madelinesane mulanjiang solidarity and literally all of the graphic designers i follow have actual talent.

if you want talent, it takes work. and these artists, have gone through hell and back to deal with whiny requesters like you.

don't like what i'm saying?

"Crawl back to your playpen, little girl."

(;

anyways, that was the first event that pissed me off this week, it's not as serious as the second one, but people like that don't deserve to write and "design" on wattpad.

and honestly, write another rant about me, go ahead.

let's see how that works out for you.

for the second event, it's a lot like emotional abuse.

when i first joined wattpad, a user began talking to me. she claimed that she was a huge fan of my works and that she wanted to ask me questions about how to write better.

i was totally fine with that. i absolutely love helping people out, and it flatters me when people ask for my help when it comes to graphic design or writing.

then, things started to get a little more personal. we would discuss our days and how it went. for her, 99.9 % of her days were bad. i was totally fine comforting a friend, but it's hard to do it every single day, especially when you're not the best at comforting people.

now, i'm honestly not sure if this was real or not.

when things became personal, this user started becoming angrier, possessive and envious. If i would say i was busy writing one night, she would get angry and claim that i didn't consider her as my friend. i would say the wrong thing while trying to comfort her, and she'd get angry. i wouldn't reply right aways, and she would get angry.

it became a toxic relationship.

every time she got mad, i would point it out, and her mood would drastically change and become apologetic and she would say she's so sorry and that she wouldn't do it again.

she did.

i managed to shorten our talking times to once a day to once a week, but it still didn't help. She still go envious and possessive if i would talk to my other friends and write things on their profile or write and design instead of talking to her. even if i was going away, she would still get mad. she would get mad if i didn't tell her i love her.

just recently, i decided that the relationship was getting too toxic for me and it was starting to affect my mental health.

i told her i didn't want to be friends with her and i told her that i couldn't keep this up and it would be better for both of us if we stopped talking,

.

and i wasn't just thinking about myself. i knew i didn't do the right things in that relationship as well, and i knew that if i wasn't in her life, she could be happier and not always worried about me.

I was always worried about her. I truly was. But, not in a good way. I was scared that if i left her, that she would commit suicide. i was absolutely terrified because i could never do that to a person. when i tried to detatch her from me, i did try to be nice. at one point, she was my friend.

the minute i became anxious every time she messaged, i knew the relationship was becoming toxic.

after i messaged her that i didn't want to be friends anymore, she started spamming me. telling me how she fucked up and that she loves me so much and that i promised i wouldn't leave her (which i did, so that's my fault.)

then, she did exactly what i was scared she would do.

she told me that if i didn't talk to her, there was no reason to live and that she was going to kill herself.

instantly, i panicked. i gave in to her guilt trip because i had no idea that she was manipulating me so she could get me to be her friend again.

the minute i messaged her saying don't you dare, she messaged back saying "well, are you going to talk to me?"

i was absolutely sickened.

how could someone threaten to take their own life just because someone wasn't talking to them?

i have friends who struggle with depression and in a dark period of my life, i did too.

i didn't sleep that night.

it continued. she kept threatening to commit suicide if i didn't talk to her, and then four hours later, she would message me again telling me how much she loves me.

if you don't know, i suffer from bad anxiety. and having someone manipulate my emotions like that has never happened to me before and i didn't know if she was telling the truth or lying anymore.

sleep had been tough. everytime i got a notification, my palms would sweat and my stomach would churn.

for almost a week, i felt nauseous.

then, the messages stopped.

i got followed by a new user, and she began asking me about how wattpad works and how much she loves graphics.

i started to notice similarities between this first user and the new user.

she would get upset if i didn't message her right aways.

i mentioned it to the user, and the user told me she would do no such thing.

it then came to a point where i knew who she really was.

the first user had made a second account to try and befriend me again.

she lied to me and once again manipulated me again.

this was last night.

i almost cried and i was close to throwing up.

i muted her on both of her accounts on all of my accounts.

it may have been a day ago, and you may think i'm overreacting but i honestly don't care.

even talking about it now makes me absolutely sick.

i don't know if she was lying to me the whole time i was friends with her. i don't know if she was telling the truth.

what i do know is that what happened was wrong.

talking about this, makes me want to tell you guys something:

if you are ever dealing with someone who's using you or hating on you, please know that you are not alone.

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

there are so many people who are willing to help you through these tough times and if some of you are dealing with things like this, i'm so sorry.

you will get through it, things like this just take time.

but i promise you that there are good people in this world in the mixture of bad.

throughout all the times i faced in my life, i managed to find some people who make me want to be a better person and help me remember that people on wattpad don't deserve things to be harrassed because of graphics, or because of a friendship.

i'm not just doing this to get back at these people.

i wrote this so i would be able to breathe properly again and feel a little bit better than i have the past few days.

for once, i wanted to be selfish.

i re

i can't believe im saying this, but please don't harass these users if you know their true identity.

if they start to attack you, then you have every right to stand up for yourself.

but if it's on my behalf, i promise you that i will be okay.

as much as i don't like these users, it doesn't mean they deserve hate from random people or death threats.

i refuse to become that type of person.

i could be entirely wrong. both of these users could be going through fucking hell right now and some of us will never know the shit they go through that.

now, i'm going to be the bigger person.

I'm sorry. to both of you.

to the first person, i understand you were annoyed with me, and i had a choice to ignore you, and i didn't and for that i'm sorry. I'm sorry that i felt the need to show those screenshots and i'm sorry if you never get a requester for your covers. i'm sorry if i ever did anything to piss you off and i'm sorry you felt the need to contribute to a conversation that you had no part in.

i really hope that if you're struggling, life becomes better and i hope you and your graphics one day succeed.

i promise you that i won't speak anymore of this and i hope you choose to do the same.

to the second person: i'm sorry. I'm sorry i couldn't be the person to constantly support you and i'm sorry i said things i didn't mean. i'm sorry that i carried this relationship out even though i knew it was becoming toxic, and i really hope you realize that we are both better off where we are.

i hope that life gets better and you learn how to have a really good friendship that's not toxic.

you both can hate me. you can wish i was dead. you can dedicate a whole chapter of a book on how much you hate me or even a whole account.

both of you are only one person out of billions of people on this earth.

one day, i hope, you will realize how things like this could have been avoided.

i hope that after reading this, you will learn a few things.

1.) not everyone is who they say they are

2.) you have every right to leave a relationship if it becomes toxic.

3.) there is a thin line between hate and truth.

4.) forgiving and forgetting are not the same. i may be forgiving now, but i won't forget this.

5.) people will bring you down in life, but it's only one person out of billions.

6.) it's okay to be selfish sometimes.

the mood of this entry changed drastically, and i apologize and even applaud you if you actually read all of this.

while writing this, i knew that i needed to try and be the bigger person.

that's what matters.

now you all know what's been going on, so if i'm not that active during the next few days, you'll know why. i need a little time

and please, please remember that if you ever have problems with someone, or you're having problems with life itself, remember that everything gets better and never, ever be afraid to talk to someone if something bad happens. it's terrible to hold bad events in and it worsens your mental health.

thank you for reading, and once again, i'm sorry to both of the users.

this chapter is dedicated to my incredible friends and followers who supported me through these tough times and gave me an outlet. i love you all so much and all of you deserve sunshine and happiness.

i hope all of you manage to find a piece of sunshine in your life.

xxxx