Hi everyone .xx

+++++

Chapter Twelve

A painful twist in my lower abdomen made me hiss out, and tears instantly pricked the corners of my eyes as the pain worsened and went deeper.

It was then that Sebastian walked in, and found me curled up in a fetal position on the bed.

I felt a cold hand press to my forehead, and my eyelids flew shut as another tidal wave of anguish surged over my trembling body. A layer of sweat coated me, and my skin felt blistering hot, making me shake and sweat even more.

"Combined with her internal damage," the doctor spoke quietly, "the menstrual pains have increased incredibly, I can only assume."

I shook and let out inhuman-like noises. The familiar ache erupted within me and I let out a shrill scream. My eyes flew open and I clutched the sheets as I writhed in agony.

Weak cries left my lips as tears trickled down my burning cheeks, "I'm f-fine." I managed to choke out, my voice weak and barely audible. My eyelids slowly peeled away, my lashes thick with tears.

The pain was still very much present, but I hardened my features and hid the hurt that tortured me. I had known exactly what was going on, and with no thanks to Sebastian, the internal damage was making it worse.

Sucking in a large breath of air, I pushed my trembling frame up, only for my arms to give away. My body collapsed back onto the heated covers just another painful ache spread throughout me.

"Have her take these," the doctor said, explaining the purpose of each pill. I watched as Sebastian nodded obediently, accepting the medications that the doctor was pulling out of his bag.

After a quiet discussion between the two, Marcus, the gang doctor, exited the room.

Despite the pain I was in, I was also relieved.

It all made sense, my uncontrollable emotions, my sensitivity, and the pain- the pain that was undeniably linked to one of the many curses every girl must suffer through during her life.

The bed sunk lower as Sebastian sat next to my trembling body. His icy cold hand came as a shocking contrast to my scorching skin. Whimpers fell from my lips as he lifted me onto his lap, cradling my feverish body into him.

"You may be in a lot of pain now," he whispered, "but take this as a blessing."

I squeezed my eyes shut at his words, my thoughts floating back to the last thing he had said to me three days ago.

"It's only just the beginning."

"Please don't hurt me," I choked out, my hands attempting to break me from the confines of Sebastian's arms.

There was a moment of silence and I held my breath in horror.

A strangled noise left my lips as Sebastian's hand cradled the side of my head and lightly guided my head into the crook of his neck. He ran his hand through my hair and shushed the cries that emitted from within.

Unfortunately for me, it seemed that nothing could provide me enough comfort for what was to come.

+++++

When the word 'pain' crosses a person's mind, it's been proven that the person automatically thinks of physical pain.

There are two forms of pain: physical and emotional.

Sebastian had already tormented me using both forms.

It was interesting, really, how different he treated me while I was sick. Every day he supplied me with that miraculous pill that seemed to drain the physical pain from my body- yet it never seemed to go deep enough and rid my tortured soul of the emotional pain that haunts me.

What is happened to you?

I shook my head and pushed myself away from the counter, unable to look at the mirror any longer.

Though my back had healed, there was still and sore pain that would rise up with quick movements. Bruises scattered my features, and I had to take multiple pain medications for my head. I had spent three days constantly vomiting and crying, and it had exhausted me.

I was disgusted with myself.

Some people depend on the approval of others in order to get through life. Then there are others, like me, who depend on self-approval. For me, that's all I've ever needed. My trust issues led me to believe that the saying was true; you can only trust yourself. Being independent can be seen as a strength- but also a person's greatest weakness.

For when you lack the self-approval you have become so dependent on, you lose your self-worth.

Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to look back in the mirror, my eyes studying myself thoroughly. I didn't look as sickly anymore, and my eyes didn't hold that lifeless stare. I had returned to the gym this week, with Callum of course. Mason was still upset and Sebastian seemed to be playing doctor for the time being, but I was well aware that it was all going to change.

My period had ended and now the punishment would begin.

What if I pretend I'm still on it? My eyes lit up at the idea. Sebastian would never know- it's a foolproof plan.

"Evelyn?" The door opened, and Sebastian entered.

My heart rate skyrocketed and I feel the color drain from my face. I gave me a small smile, my hands growing clammy and my knees quivering.

He walked tantalizingly slowly, his dark brown eyes piercing my blank blue ones. I visibly gulped as he stopped in front of me, and he smirked at that. He eyes held that famous, mischievous glint that made me want to run away.

"Come downstairs." He ordered, holding out his hand.

I glanced at it warily, before his hand lurched out and latched onto my wrist. I let out a gurgled noise of surprise and my lips formed a ghost 'ouch.' I winced and stumbled forwards, but Sebastian managed to catch me in time. He loosened his grip and placed his hand on the small of my back, gently guiding me from the room.

You can do this, Evie.

We entered the kitchen, where a nice lay out of pancakes and bacon were sitting on display. My stomach growled hungrily and I bit my lip as my eyes focused on the food.

"Here," Mason said, placing a food filled plate on the counter, an empty chair pulled out for me. I looked to Sebastian, checking to see if I could. Normally, I wouldn't have hesitated to sit and scarf down the delicious food. My nerves were making me act differently, and I found myself being so much more cautious that I normally would be.

Sebastian smiled at my actions, and nodded towards the chair. As I sat down, I felt my lips dip into a frown. I hated the way I had to look to Sebastian for orders. I felt as though he was controlling me. He was making me dependent on him, and that wasn't good.

I'm unhappy, and to be this unhappy is unhealthy.

"Evie?" Sebastian's voice pulled me away from my thoughts, and I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"W-What?" My words nearly went unheard, and seemed to come out as a breathy whisper.

The boys all exchanged glances before Sebastian lengthened out his hand, holding out the series of pills I had to take for that day. I gave him a shaky smile, and took the pills quickly. I hesitated at the last one, my hand twitching above his.

"Don't you need that one?" Callum asked innocently. "For your, you know... Your g-girl problems?" His face had turned into a deep red, and he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

I nervously snatched up the pill and offered a feeble smile towards the boys. All eyes were on me as I slowly parted my lips, raising the pill to my mouth.

"You know," Sebastian spoke, causing me to freeze, "taking a pill with such a high dosage of drugs is dangerous; especially when you don't need it."

My throat went dry and my stomach twisted as the nerves bounced around my insides.

"Y-Yeah." I stuttered out, eyeing the pill carefully.

There was a moment of silence, before I unthinkingly pushed the pill past my lips and into my mouth. The sound of the doorbell echoing throughout the house made me nearly choke on the slowly dissolving pill.

Looks were shared amongst the boys and Sebastian instantly rose to his feet.

"Upstairs, now." He ordered. His expression was one of seriousness and I instantly exited the room.

I spat out the pill the second I reached the stairs. Grimacing at the bitter taste leftover in my mouth, I quickly rushed into my room. I tossed the remnants of the pill into the toilet and washed my hands of the white residue.

Once I was positive that I had gotten rid of all traces of the drug, I left the bathroom with a pleased smile on my face.

My happiness was short lived, for realization began to set in.

This wasn't me.

I am not the girl who looks to others for approval, who is dependent, weak, and obedient.

I have never been that way, nor will I ever- ever again, that is.

I heard the sound of footsteps enter the house, and greetings were exchanged. My mind wandered to the way Sebastian had ordered me upstairs, and the way I had willingly listened to him.

This wasn't right.

My fists clenched in annoyance as I thought of everything Kings left me out on. I was brought into this gang because I was the best at what I do- and ever since I had been forced to join, Sebastian has smothered my power and status. I doubted that if anyone saw me now, they would show the slightest bit of fear.

The bruises and tears were evidence of my vulnerability.

Evelyn Summers is never vulnerable. She is the defiant, impulsive girl who ruins lives in order to feed off of others misery.

At least that's the girl she's supposed to be.

I let out a noise of disgust and shook my head. My stubborn, defiant attitude was my trademark. Whether or not I enjoyed what I did, did not control the person I was.

I couldn't let Sebastian control me.

Adrenaline burst through my veins and I didn't think twice before I shot out of my room. I flew down the stairs with incredible speed, and rounded the corner quickly. The sound of my breathing was the only thing that I heard as I flung open the door to Sebastian's office.

"What the-"

"I-" I choked and found myself speechless. Three dead bodies were sprawled across the floor, Mason and Callum currently holding a man by his arms, his body bent so that his knees were pressed to the ground.

Sebastian was holding his gun tightly, and I met his eyes for only a moment. The adrenaline had been drained from my body, and I began to back away, my eyes wide as saucers.

"You better have a fucking good reason for walking into here like that." Sebastian's words cut the silence like knives, and I bit my lip nervously. My eyes darted to the man, his fearful eyes and bloodied face made me sick to my stomach.

"God damn it, Evelyn!" Sebastian roared, slamming his hands onto his desk. I jerked backwards at the sound that emitted from his actions, my eyes now focusing on the gun that had remained in his grip.

I closed my eyes for a moment, a simple attempt to bring back my defiance and adrenaline that had fueled me before.

When I re-opened my eyes, I felt my old self return, as mental as that sounds.

"You're angry at me," I spoke slowly, my voice strong, "for walking into a quite, successful meeting, I presume?" My sarcasm leaked into my tone, and a smirk rose to the surface of my lips.

Sebastian's eyes widened at my words, before narrowing into a murderous glare. I took his silence as a hint to continue, which I did all too eagerly.

"Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have walked interrupted your god damn massacre," I spat out, "if I had actually known what the hell was going on with this gang that I'm supposedly a part of, I wouldn't have walked it. Actually, I would have been a part of it, or have some understanding as to why I shouldn't be here."

I took a deep breath of air, thinking over everything I had said. I needed to make sure Sebastian understood what I was trying to say.

I was so sick of not being part of the gang- being a part of a gang is all I've ever known, and now I have nothing.

I felt unstable, as if I were teetering on the edge of sanity or a mental breakdown.

"You used me as a payment in a deal with my brother, because I am the best at what I do." I said slowly, emphasizing each word. "As far as I know, you want me to be a part of your gang."

Sebastian was leaning forwards, his eyes piercing me. My breath caught in my throat when he began to make his way over to me. I forced my eyes to remain glued to his, in an attempt to, for once, not back down.

I watched as his full, pink lips parted, "You're right."

A surprised gust of air left me and my shock lasted for a solid couple of seconds before I was able to lock it all up and look expressionless.

Could this be possible?

Was Sebastian really agreeing with me?

"See that man?" Sebastian asked, his eyes remaining on mine though he head jerked to the left. My eyes flickered to the bloodied man who was shaking and gritting his teeth in pain.

I quickly nodded my head, tearing my eyes away from him.

"He runs a small gang, and came to me for help. You see, me being a generous man, I allowed him to come to my house." Sebastian now turned his attention to the helpless man.

"Then this poor, pathetic man dares to threaten me." The humorless laugh that echoed throughout the room caused a series of goose bumps to break out across my skin. "Under my roof! You dare threaten me?"

The sound of Sebastian's powerful punch connecting with the man's face made me flinch back. My stomach knotted as memories of my punishment flooded my mind.

I knew that I had to do something.

My body found a place between Sebastian and the moaning man, blood streaming from his surely broken nose.

"Stop, Sebastian, just stop." I whispered.

My chest rose rapidly, brushing against his with every breath I took. The look that Sebastian's eyes held made me want to back away into a corner, and shrink away.

I didn't though.

I matched his glare and placed my hand on his chest, trying to create some distance. Sebastian was ready to kill, and something inside of me wasn't going to let that happen.

A pained chuckle rang out from behind me, making me tense up in surprise. Sebastian's eyes now locked with mine, watching me carefully.

"Y-You're not Evelyn Summers," the man rasped out. "Evelyn Summers doesn't save people, she condemns them to death."

My vision clouded as I focused on his words, the familiar spark of anger brewing within me.

"Didn't take much to break you, eh?"

I practically saw red at his words, and a tremor ran through my body.

"You see," Sebastian now spoke, "in the midst of your attempt to save this bastard, not once did you question why this man tried to threaten me- the gang, or better yet, with what he tried to threaten me with."

Sebastian edged closer to me, his chin practically resting on his chest so that he could peer into my eyes.

"He threatened to have you killed."

My anger was wiped away; shock replacing it. My jaw dropped slightly and my lips parted in surprise.

"This man believed that he had found the key to break us down. That by your death, our gang would fall apart." Sebastian let out a dry laugh. "That for some god forsaken reason, you were that important to us."

"Did you not know you were replaceable?"

"You didn't actually think you were important? Did you?"

Sebastian's words haunted me from before, and I felt the undeniable rage build within me.

"I guess I'm lucky," the man wheezed out, "that before I died, I got to see the Evelyn Summers for what she truly was."

My body locked in anticipation.

"Weak."

My hand yanked the gun straight out of Sebastian's hand and I whirled around in fury. Before anyone could stop me, I had the man up against the wall, my hand squeezing his throat. I felt the venom pulse through my veins, and the lethal look I wore looked natural on my face.

"Take a good long look then," I snarled out, shoving my hand further into his neck, my nails puncturing his skin. My impulsiveness acted out and I easily replaced my hand with the gun, and pulled the trigger.

His blood splattered everywhere, and I turned just in time for it to only hit the side of my face.

My eyes met all three of the boys, their expressions ones of shock, surprise, and interest.

They looked at me cautiously, almost as if I were to explode again.

I could only imagine how I looked at that moment. My hair was undoubtedly disheveled, my eyes cold and harsh, and blood splashed over me. My eyes met the lifeless one's of the man I had just killed.

The first person that I had ever killed.

His blood was quite literally on my hands.

I was well aware that Sebastian, Mason, and Callum all knew this. They way they stood there, tensed and wary, watching my every moment, though I hadn't moved much.

I raised the gun slowly, noticing how they all stiffened. They were waiting for me to crack- to crack under the realization of what I had just done.

I swallowed lightly before parting my lips, all three of them leaning forward.

"There's a silencer on this gun."

+++++

"I tracked you down twenty minutes after you left."

Mason's words caught my attention, and I turned away from the window. The sound of raindrops pattering against the ceiling filled the silence, as I stared at him blankly.

"You did?" I finally asked, after realizing he was waiting for a response.

Mason moved so that he stood next to me, his blue eyes staring aimlessly out the window.

"I did."

I turned back to the window, and took in the vibrant greenery, and the dull, grey color of the sky.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I didn't tell Sebastian where you were immediately?" He finally asked, his eyes now on me.

I remained staring forwards, and shrugged nonchalantly. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

Mason returned to his previous position, "I thought maybe, just maybe you wouldn't run away so carelessly. That you would come back after a couple of hours."

My focus was no longer on the raindrops that trailed down the glass, but on the words that were leaving Mason's mouth.

"I trusted you, Evelyn."

My closed my eyes for a moment, absorbing the meaning of those four words, and the depths they sunk into.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you, Mason?" I asked, almost innocently. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes trying to search mine, though I refused to face him.

"You can only trust yourself."

I turned to leave, but was stopped by Mason's gentle, yet firm grip around my wrist. His eyes moving frantically around my face, mainly darting to my eyes.

They say that eyes are windows to their souls.

I inwardly scoffed at that.

"Don't you dare start going into so depressed, dark and shit mode now that you've ki-" Mason caught himself, instantly paling as realization of what he was about to say crept up on his features.

I stared at him blankly, biting back my tongue.

I wanted to bring up the fact that I had killed someone.

I wanted to make everyone suffer the mental torment that I was suffering through at that moment.

But no, I restrained myself. I wasn't in the right state of mind, but even now I could see that Mason was right.

What I wanted wasn't what I needed.

"You're right," I repeated Sebastian's words from before.

Mason seemed momentarily surprised before offering me a small smile, and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry for hurting you before," he mumbled into my hair, his hands comforting massaging my back, purposely avoiding the stitches and bruised area.

"I forgive you," I said softly, meaning every word. There wasn't something about Mason that made me never want to be mad at him. He reminded me of Danny, and since it was family I lacked, it was Mason that I knew I would have to desperately cling onto.

Mason spoke once more, "I still trust you."

"You shouldn't."

Mason shrugged, pulling away from me. "And you shouldn't forgive me. I guess we're both in the wrong."

The sound of approaching footsteps made our attention turn towards the intruder- who in fact, was Sebastian King himself.

His eyes flitted over us, as if her were observing the damage, though there wasn't any.

"Evelyn, I want you to come with me."

It wasn't an order, and there was no underlying threat present in his words. Even then, I grew alert and cautious, yet followed him without a single peep of protest.

My eyes widened for a fraction of a second, when his large, warm hand held onto mine. He led me through a door and down a set of stairs before we entered an area that seemed like a normal bachelor pad. I walked silently behind as we went down a hallway, the sounds of footsteps echoing around us.

Once we reached a door at the end of the hallway, Sebastian stopped.

"You are right," he spoke quietly, "I took you because I wanted you to be a part of my gang."

A pregnant pause took over and Sebastian awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"I- I apologize for treating you like a prisoner, instead of fellow gang member- one who has successfully completed a fair share of jobs."

His apology had caught me of guard, and a small smile graced my lips.

It had been a while since I had felt the smallest bit of genuine happiness, and I felt almost empowered by it.

"As for the gang and all the information you must know, I have decided to leave that for later." Sebastian explained to me. "There's someone who wants to talk to you."

The door was pushed open and I hesitated before peering into the room.

There, in a completely white room, much like the one I had been tortured in, lay a boy on a bed. His ruffled hair and signature bright green eyes sent a wave of emotions over me, and for a split second, I thought I was about to cry.

"Evie," he said softly, a warm smile dancing across his lips.

My eyes looked to Sebastian, and instantly I felt sick. To be honest, I wasn't sure what came over me, but all the relief, happiness, and joy that had filled me when I saw Harry had disappeared.

My eyes met his, and judging by his change in expression, I knew I was wearing my signature emotionless look.

"I killed someone."

+++++

Harry left yesterday.

Our talk seemed pointless, for I refused to open up to him. It was nice though, because I knew he still understood me. I didn't have to say or do much for Harry to know exactly how I felt.

Or so I thought.

I was oblivious to the fact that Harry was much like Sebastian, and knew near to nothing about me- the person I really was.

After making me promise to visit sometime, the green eyed boy left with a flirtatious wink and a warm hug.

I stared at the folders and stacks of paper that lay around me. Sighing, I lifted an untouched folder, my eyes drooping as I took in the contents that filled it.

Folder after folder, papers after papers, I have studied them all religiously.

This was my chance to become fully part of the Kings.

"How's it going?" Sebastian stood at the doorway, a small smirk on his lips. I glanced out at him before returning my attention to paper in my hand.

"There's a lot to take in," I admitted, my eyes scanning the numbers and statistics on the page.

"Over one hundred unsolved murders," I muttered, "Mass murders, kidnappings, drug deals gone wrong..." My voice trailed off, and I found myself unable to continue.

I took a pause, and breathed deeply. "All the evidence and information traces back to you."

"I have connections." It was his simple response.

I nodded, thoroughly impressed.

Sebastian had created not just a gang; he created a kingdom. He controlled London with an iron fist. And that, that was impressive.

"So that guy last night, it was all a ploy." It wasn't a question. After reading through an entire folder based off that man and his gang, I was convinced that Sebastian was a genius.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Sebastian said, a playful glint lighting up his eyes.

"In this folder," I lifted it up, "you have documents after documents concerning his gang's activities and whereabouts. It's simply obvious that you then used my little slip up at the club to your advantage, to lure him into your trap."

Sebastian was now leaning onto his desk, his eyes focused on mine.

"Everything comes together." I stated, "Rumors were going around that he had something on the Kings, so you offer him 'help' and act enraged when he threatens you."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"You knew exactly what was going to happen, and how to eliminate him and his helpers. You've left his gang without leadership, forcing them into hiding."

I hesitated, glancing at the pages. "You had this all planned out before you found me."

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment.

"You look nice, sitting in my chair." He spoke softly, yet firmly. "You fit into the gang so well, and the other gang members are excited to have you."

"People respect you, Evelyn."

I stared up at him, waiting for him to continue. I was sitting on the edge of the chair, refusing to sit back allow myself comfort.

"I asked for respect and obedience, that's all I asked for."

"You demanded."

"You refused."

We stared at each other, desperately trying to read one another.

"You forgave Mason," he finally spoke, breaking the silence that had engulfed us. I bit my lip at his words, and pressed my nails into my legs.

Though I was unsure of how to respond, I parted my lips in preparation. Just as I sucked in a large amount of air, Sebastian cut me off.

"Not long ago, you were absolutely terrified of me." He said, "You weren't yourself, constantly looking at me for permission for things as small as sitting in a chair. For a moment there, I thought I had done it."

"I thought I had broken Evelyn Summers."

"You did." I muttered, thinking back to how much a cried, whimpered, and sobbed to it physically pained me.

Sebastian's eyes widened in obvious shock, and he shook his head. "See that's the thing! You think that if you show the slightest bit of emotion, you're weak. It wasn't right of me to attack you- both physically and mentally. I thought I had broken you, but when you came into my office, and told me off-" he laughed, his eyes sparkling, "you showed me how strong you were."

"I demanded respect and obedience in the most inhuman ways." He spat out, disgusted.

I had remained silent the entire time, but found myself standing up, distancing myself from him.

"I'm fine."

He shook his head at me.

"How am I supposed to understand you?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

I shrugged and allowed a light smile to appear on my lips.

"You're trying to figure me out?"

Sebastian's eyes lit up, and a grin broke out. "Yes! I have tried everything, and it's impossible!"

I shrugged and walked around him, heading towards the door.

I stopped just as I put my hand on the doorknob. "You need to catch me off guard." I said, turning so that I could look at him.

Sebastian stared back at me in response, and I laughed at his confused expression.

"Surprise me, King. Surprise me."

+++++

"You know we all know you're not on your period anymore," Mason stated.

I tensed at his words before shrugging. "Am I going to be punished again?"

Mason looked almost amused at my question, before shaking his head. I felt relief spread throughout my body as I let out a breath of air I had been holding in anticipation.

As brutal as Sebastian was towards me, it was my entire fault. Stupid as it sounds, the gang life is far from a normal one. It was common to be hit by a member, and even more by the leader.

Despite Sebastian's surprising disgust at his actions, I knew I should have seen it coming.

I humiliated him.

I should be dead, but here I was, freshly out of the shower, bruised yet breathing.

Mason was leaned against the doorway, watching as I combed through my hair, water droplets spraying everywhere.

"I think I'm going to go say goodnight to everyone," I stated, standing up. Mason raised his eyebrow at that, but didn't question me.

After walking straight past Callum's bedroom, I hurried downstairs, hoping to find Sebastian in his office.

Something about him drew me in, and I knew that was wrong.

I knew it wasn't healthy- he had hurt me

I guess I had hurt him too, in a sense.

We were both in the wrong.

"Sebastian?" I called out weakly. I found myself walking towards the back of the house, where the door was slightly ajar. I tensed at that, and pulled my sweatshirt closer to my body, hoping to retain some amount of warmth.

I cautiously opened the door, and was greeted by an icy wind, along with a very unfortunate sight. Sitting on the patio steps, Sebastian looked as if he were observing the stars, but the bottle of whiskey in his hands told me otherwise.

"Sebastian?" I asked, stepping closer to him. He head turned in my direction, and I let out a shocked yelp when he stood up and faced me, much too quickly for a drunk person.

He pushed our bodies backwards, until my back made contact with the brick wall. His arms trapped me there, but his body provided me with a shield against the wind.

His full, plump pink lips parted, and his husky voice slipped out of his mouth. "I am no angel, that's for sure. But despite what you think, I'm no monster either."

"Actually, I guess you could say I am a monster," he said quietly, "but I don't want to be a monster to you."

My breath hitched in my throat and I pushed back into the wall. I tried to escape, but Sebastian easily had me caged between his muscled body and the wall.

"You have a light in you, Evelyn Claire Summers."

I stared at him in a state of shock, frozen against him.

"I have been putting that light out with my darkness," he said, "when I should been protecting it."

I nearly choked on air when he leaned down, his eyes softly closing, his lips meeting mine.

Sebastian King was kissing me, slowly and passionately.

It was sweet, minty, and addicting.

When he pulled away, he rested his head against mine, and realization set in for me.

"You didn't resist me," Sebastian said, a pleased look crossing his features.

"You're not drunk." My eyes were wide and my heart was racing.

Sebastian leaned in once more, so that my body was flush against his.

And then, with a playful yet seductive tone, he uttered one word.

"Surprise!"

+++++