Chapter Three

Setting The Bar Too High

I don't feel any remorse after fucking Thalita. I knew her relationship with my brother will not last the moment that bitch looked at me like she found a much profitable treasure. Nasa dining pa lang kami ay damang-dama ko na ang interes niya sa akin at hindi nga ako nagkamali.

I told her to break up with Cahill before talking to me and the bitch did in a heartbeat. I am not guilty. In fact, I did Cahill a favor by fucking her ex like a worthless whore she was... but it was not my place to tell him the news.

"Gago ka talagang fuck boy ka. Paano kapag nalaman ni Cahill?" si Thelonious sa kabilang linya nang sabihin ko ang mga nangyari.

Even if some of my cousins were staying in the Philippines and I live in Germany, our bond remained tight and unbreakable. Kahit nga minsan ay may mga hindi pagkakaintindihan ay nananaig pa rin ang dugo namin sa isa't isa.

"It's not my problem anymore."

Thelonious laughed on the other line. "It is your problem. Ilang beses mo na bang iniputan 'yang kapatid?"

Ako naman ang natawa. "It was not the case this time. Break na sila bago may nangyari sa amin kaya hindi ako nagloko, Thelonious. Your boy is on a fucking clean slate you know that."

"Clean slate your ass."

We both laughed at that. Maraming bagay pa kaming napag-usapan at sa pagtagal ay parang gusto ko na lang lumipad pabalik ng Pilipinas at manatili doon habang buhay. Kahit sa ibang bansa ako lumaki, ang bansang iyon ang pinakanakatatak sa puso ko. I actually had a plan to live there after my graduation but I don't think my mother will approve of it.

Gayunpaman, hindi nawawala ang pangarap kong doon manirahan kapag kaya ko nang lumayo sa mga magulang ko. I decided to be independent for almost five years for that exact reason and I think I am prepared for that any moment now. Ang mga magulang ko na lang talaga ang inaalala ko.

My graduation went smooth. I had dinner with my parents but my friends decided to go to Vegas so we went after finishing the meal. Hindi naman ako pinigilan ng mga magulang ko dahil nakita naman nilang deserved ko iyon matapos ang ilang taong pag-aaral ng mabuti.

I know I can easily pay everyone just to pass college but I didn't find any challenge in that so I worked really hard to get my degree. Iyon siguro ang pinagkaibahan naming mga Rozovsky sa ibang mga mayayaman.

Most of the people I knew took advantage on their wealth. Para sa kanila ay display lang ang diploma at hindi rin magagamit dahil kahit naman wala iyon ay mabubuhay sila ng maayos pero doon kami tutol. We study because of the main reason and that is to learn and to apply that learning wherever it will be suited. I worked even harder because I have dreams of my own. Hindi man iyon gusto ni mommy pero isa iyon sa plano ko.

"How's the poppy business, brother?" I asked Thelonious.

"Good, great even. Are you sure you really want to go that path?"

"Are you being soft on me like my mother?"

He chuckled. "Just make sure Auntie Malinda will not kill me and we're good."

"Well, I can't promise you that."

He groaned, natatawa na lang sa usapan namin. "But I got you. I'll send some proposal that you can look at. Tamang-tama, I just acquired thousand of land hectares in some part of Visayas and it will be on my name soon. I'll give it to you as a graduation gift if you want."

"No you wouldn't..."

"Just say you want it and it's yours."

Thelonious was always generous especially when it comes to family but his behavior still making my head blown up until this day. I was lucky to have the same blood as him running through my veins. Maswerte ako sa pamilyang kinabibilangan ko sa kabila ng lahat.

Hindi ko muna kinagat ang regalo ni Thelonious. I was hesitant because I feel like it was too soon for me. Kaga-graduate ko lang and it was not the plan, but I still kept my options open.

Matapos ang graduation ay pumasok ako sa kumpanya ng aking ama. I took more classes to broaden my knowledge when it comes to business world kaya naging madali sa akin ang lahat. Ilang buwan pa lang ay pilit na akong isinasama ng aking ama sa mga board meetings.

He was not forcing me to take his place even if I was the rightful heir to his empire because he respects my decisions. Gusto ko rin iyon dahil wala namang magmamana kung hindi ako pero habang hindi pa naman siya nagreretiro ay gusto kong umusad muna sa sarili kong mga plano. And that is to expand our poppy business. May background na ako no'n at alam na ang pasikot-sikot lalo na sa kalakaran namin at naroon rin ang puso ko kaya doon ko gustong lumugar... sa ngayon.

I worked for my father for two years. I was his right hand and I did learned a lot from him. Isa na doon ay kung paano tratuhin ang mga babae. I listened religiously to his lectures, but I failed to apply it to my own life. Loads of lectures taken, but I was still a fuck boy. An undomesticated lion that was impossible to be tamed.

Kaliwa't-kanan ang mga naging pakilala ng mga magulang sa mga babae pero wala sa mga iyon ang tipo ko. Some were great in bed, some were wife material but there was none of them who fits the criteria I was looking for.

"Look at us, Mikolos..."

Bumagal ang pagnguya ko dahil sa pagsisimula na naman ng mga litanya ni Mommy.

"Your father and I have been married for thirty five years and it was still the best decision we've ever made. Oo at bata ka pa and you deserved to explore, but hijo... Wala ba talaga? Of all the good ladies around you, wala ni isa kang natitipuhan?"

Cahill almost spit his food at that. Siya lang ang nakakaintindi sa akin pagdating sa ganitong usapan.

"Ma, give Mikolos some break. We've been talking about this over and over again, aren't you getting tired of this conversation?"

"I am not. Magsawa kayong makinig sa akin pero uulit-ulitin ko iyan hanggang sa hindi nakakapag-asawa ang kapatid mo."

Sa pagkakataong iyon ay gusto ko na lang sakalin si Cahill dahil lalo akong naidiin sa usapan.

"I mean love is definitely hard to find but the key to it is just finding the right person whom you're willing to make love work. Hindi lang emosyon ang pagmamahal kung hindi trabaho rin. Love isn't always magical. It's more than that, but if you learn how to manage it then it will surely last forever."

Nagningning ang mga mata ni Mommy sa pagbaling niya kay Daddy.

That is the love I wanted for myself. bulong ko sa sarili ko.

It was my parents who set the goal for me to finding that magical love and so far, I failed to see it in any breathing soul.

Yes, every girl I played around was perfect and had a potential to be my wife but none of them made me think about love. Kahit sa gitna ng orgasmo at pagkabaliw doon ay walang nagpaisip sa akin ng salitang pagmamahal.

My parents set the bar too high and I promised myself that I will only settle once I found the kind of love that they had. Alam kong kapag nakita ko na ay mararamdaman ko rin iyon. I am not into romantic shit but I knew that magical feeling will happen to me, too. Hindi lang sa pagkalalaki ko kung hindi pati na rin sa puso ko.

Cahill has a new girlfriend and he was with her for almost two years now. Kaya tuloy sa bawat pag-uusap kasama ang aming mga magulang ay sa akin nakasentro ang usapan dahil ang gago ay gusto na rin talagang mag-settle para maiwasan ang mga pangaral.

I want to give credit to the guy because unlike me, Cahill knew what he wants and he just go for it. Walang takot ito lalo na sa karelasyon ngayon na anak ng malapit na kaibigan ni Daddy.

Isa ang babaeng iyon sa mga tinitingala ng lahat dahil bukod sa kapantay namin ang kanilang pamilya, ang ama nito ay pinuno ng isang organisasyong walang gustong kumalaban. In fact, kasosyo rin nito ang Uncle Vladimir sa negosyo and no one sits beside my Uncle Vlad unless you are atrocious and diabolical like him.

I was actually surprised to know that Cahill was dating that man's daughter. She was so out of her league but they made it work. Or maybe wala na lang choice si Cahill dahil alam niyang kapag sinaktan niya ang anak nito ay burol kaagad ang kasunod.

Kidding aside, I knew my brother was really in love with her. And the good thing is, the woman was decent and didn't gave me any hint of affection. Naramdaman ko rin ang kaseryosohan at pagmamahal nito kay Cahill kaya kahit paano ay naniniwala akong mananaig ang pag-ibig sa kanila.

I am happy for him for finding such genuine love, but it was still a hard no for me.

Hindi man sa ngayon, pero ipinapangako kong kapag nakita ko na ang babaeng para sa akin ay papantayan o mas hihigitan ko pa ang pagmamahal na nakikita ko sa mga magulang at kapatid ko sa relasyong bubuohin ko sa kanya.

I will make sure everything will be worth it. Mamahalin ko siya't ipaglalaban hanggang dulo. Isusugal ko ang lahat ng mayroon ako kung kinakailangan... pero huwag na muna siyang dumating ngayon dahil marami pa akong gustong tikman.