🚨VERY INTENSE CHAPTER AHEAD🚨

Double update!

Nozel POV (age 29, present)

It was hard to believe that she was back.

I knew I wanted to see her again, to hold her in my arms once more.

But I could tell she wanted nothing to do with me.

And I honestly didn't blame her.

I was still in the library, sitting on her bed and just thinking.

I heard her and the captain of the Blue Rose Knights talking, their laughter reaching my ears.

Yesterday was my birthday.

But it was also the sixth anniversary of my son's death.

I closed my eyes, trying to supress the pain and the hurt.

But it's nowhere near as much pain as I put her through.

"Say, (y/n)? What's going on with you and Nozel?"

I stood up and listend closer, gripping my shirt.

(y/n) hesitated to answer and I walked over to where they were seated, hidden behind a bookcase.

"Well, nothing honestly."

"Come on, you and I both know that's not true. I heard from Solid you and Nozel got into a huge fight six years ago. It's no coincidence that you left that day and haven't been back."

I listened more, curious to know why she left so suddenly.

(y/n) looked around and lowered her voice. "Don't you dare tell anyone of this, Charlotte."

"You have my word."

(y/n) nodded slowly. "I've been spying on the Spade kingdom."

"What?!"

"You heard me." (y/n) took a sip of her tea, placing it on a table that was defying gravity. "I decided to risk my life for this kingdom."

"Hey, that reminds me. Why do you hate it here so much?"

I saw (y/n)'s eyes flash with emotion. "You know why, Charlotte."

She fell silent and the blonde nodded, patting her shoulder with sympathy.

"I suppose, but why did he do what he did?"

"I don't know. If I knew why Shielo did that, I wouldn't have ever stayed here for as long as I did. This kingdom...as much as I'd miss my few trusted friends, there's things I won't miss."

"Oh? Who wouldn't you miss?"

"That braid-face Nozel takes the cake. Then Nebra, the stupid king, and others. I really hate the way they treat lower-class citizens."

Charlotte thought for a moment. "(y/n), what exactly happened between you and Nozel?"

She fell silent and I could feel her emotions.

All of which were hate, sorrow, and regret.

"I can't speak of it, Char. I'm sorry."

She nodded. "Alright. But I'm here for you if you need it."

(y/n) could only nod.

I wanted so badly to rush into the area and hold my wife, but I knew she'd continue to push me back.

It was our shared past that drove her away to the point where she vowed to never come back.

Reader POV

I watched Charlotte leave and headed to my room, only to see Nozel standing still.

I groaned with annoyance. "Silva. Get the fuck out of my home."

He glared at me, a hidden emotion in his cold purple eyes. "I believe House Silva is your home. Now let's go."

I moved away from him, refusing to be anywhere near him. "No. That place was never my home. Leave before I call security."

"What are they gonna do? Aim pathetically low spells at me?"

"Just leave. I can't deal with your shit right now."

"Fine, but I expect you to show up for dinner tonight. Don't be late."

He left with his silver eagle and I flipped him off when he left, anger in my entire being.

"That asshole." I found the old box where I kept a necklace he gave me when we were much younger and in love.

I picked it up and threw it out the window, hearing it plop in the fountain.

It was a locket with our faces smiling.

I didn't have any use for that crap.

But something did stop me from raging.

It was a photo of Solid, Nozel, and I at a fair.

I was holding Solid in my arms and Nozel was glaring with a blush.

I was 16 in that photo, him 17, and Solid 6.

"Tch. Sentimental crap." I ripped Nozel's face from the photo and tossed it to the ground, stepping on it.

I sat down at my desk and looked over the mission files, groaning with annoyance that I was to be working with Nozel.

Curse that Julius!

But if that was all I had to do and then leave, I would take it.

Over the years I had spied on the Spade kingdom, I had changed drastically.

I was more of a stoic and blunt person instead of someone that seemed to bring light to the room.

Maybe it was all the torture I was forced to go through as Nozel's wife.

Flashback (age 21. Heads up! This is hella dark. Please, please, please read with caution!)

I looked up when I saw the bedroom door open, putting my book down on the theory of magic.

"Nozel?"

He only started stripping his clothes, pushing me down onto the bed. "Not now, (y/n). I need you."

I frowned and sat up, not liking his attitude. "Well, I don't really want to do it."

"You can say it," he said. "We're married."

"I'm not going to have sex with you right now," I said to him sternly.

He growled with annoyance. "Oh, come on! Don't be a bitch, (y/n). I'm stressed."

"Then go take a walk." I slid off the bed, but then he roughly grabbed my hair.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" His voice was low and dangerous.

I was about to speak when he slapped my face, pushing me back down onto the bed.

"You don't ge to tell me what to do, lowly commoner. Now get undressed or else I'll rip your fucking clothes off."

I was about to scream for help when he filled my mouth with his mercury magic, glaring down at me.

I could only lay there in fear, begging him to stop.

But he never listened.

He eventually finshed inside of me for a fourth and final time, sliding out.

"Get dressed. I'm expecting you down for dinner with the family in ten minutes."

The door closed behind him after he fixed his appearance.

I only laid there, tears running down my cheeks.

I never felt so violated before- and by my own husband!

I could only sob louder and heard the doorknob turn.

I quickly put on some clothes, fearful if it were Nozel.

But it was actually Solid.

"Man, this room stinks," the younger Silva brother frowned. "(y/n), Nozel says you're late for dinner."

"I'm not coming," I said.

"But-"

"Please, Solid. Tell your brother I'm not coming."

He was about to protest further when he saw I was crying.

"(y/n), are you alright?"

"Just leave."

He shut his mouth and did as he was told, gently closing the door behind him.

I heard Nozel's shouts moments later and he opened the door, grabbing me by my hair and dragging me down the steps, the maids and servants moving against the wall to not be in the way.

"I said to be at the dinner table, you fucking whore."

I looked to Nebra for help, but the girl only smirked at me and held her brother Solid back from helping me.

Nozel dragged me into the dining hall, spitting curses at me.

I was seated and he used his magic to bind me to the chair, sitting down and telling his siblings to do the same.

"Nozel, don't be so rough with her," Solid began to say. "You'll hurt-"

"Solid, shut your mouth and eat your food."

He grew silent and sent me a worried face, but my eyes were staring down at the empty plate.

"(y/n)?" Nozel stared at me and I could feel his anger. "Why aren't you eating?"

I didn't respond, but silent tears trickled down my face.

No one in the Silva family had seen me cry and it was the first time.

Even Nebra who hated my guts for some reason was shocked.

"What the hell..."

"Leave her," Nozel said to his sister. "She's fine."

"Clearly not if she's crying,"

The youngest Silva stared at me with anger.

Noelle was furious that her brother Solid actually cared for me but abused her.

I just slid down in my chair, putting my face on the plate and just crying.

It was at that moment when I questioned why I married the captian of the Silver Eagles.

Nozel growled with annoyance and kicked me underneath the table. "Stop crying, woman."

I just slipped into the shadows and refused to leave.

I could hear Nozel cursing at me.

I left the castle, heading back to the library and coming out of the shadows.

"Whoa, (y/n)!" My assistant Siran stared at me with shock when he saw my face. "What happened?"

"Nothing, head back to work."

I leapt up to the astronomy tower and closed the door behind me, sitting down at the cusion by the window, looking out at the Clover castle that could be seen in the far distance.

It began to rain which only mirrored how I felt.

Even when I took numerous baths, I couldn't get the feel of his disgusting marks on my body off.

A while later, I heard a sharp knock on my door and opened it to see Nozel standing there.

"Why did you leave House Silva without my permission?" He spat.

I only closed the door, but he blocked it with his foot.

"Please, go away."

"I can't do that." He pushed me against the wall, anger in his purple eyes as he choked me. "Now. You're going to come back home with me."

"NO!" I was about to slip back into the shadows when he trapped me in a ball of mercury, his grip on me tightening. "Please, just stop hurting me!"

He only ignored me and dragged me back to House Silva, only to take a different route.

"You've really been a bitch lately. I've been stressed. The least you could do is be there for me." He threw me into the dungeon in the deepest parts of the castle. "Until you learn that you obey my word as your husband and apologize for your actions, you'll be spending time down here."

I only looked away from him, staring at the wall where moss grew.

"(y/n)?"

I refused to turn around and acknowledge him.

"Fine. Enjoy your stay."

I didn't know how long it was, but it must've been a long time.

I was fed lower amounts of food, but it didn't matter.

The baby took it all anyway.

Nozel knew I was pregnant and he was thrilled.

When he tried to wrap his arms around me, I was so cold and unresponsive.

"(y/n), look at me."

I didn't, so he moved in front of me, staring into my eyes and searching for emotions.

But my face was so cold and my eyes were closed.

"(y/n), open your eyes."

I continued to ignore him when he slapped my face.

"I said look at me."

I still wouldn't.

"If you want to leave the dungeon, you'll open your eyes."

But still, I refused.

"Open your fucking eyes right now."

He waited and waited, but I wouldn't do it.

"Fine. Stay here for all I fucking care."

I heard the door close behind him and his footsteps as he left the dungeons, cursing at me.

More months passed and my hatred for my husband grew.

Then on December 29th that was also his birthday 23rd, he came down to talk to me.

I was due anytime.

"(y/n), let's go. I refuse to let you birth my child down in this disgusting area."

I opened my eyes and he was startled by the blank stare. "Nozel. Divorce me."

His eyes widened and twisted with anger. "Never."

"Please, just do it."

"What would we say to our son, then? Hm?"

"Then I'll leave. You won't hear from me again."

"No."

"Divorce me!"

"Never!" He stood up, his eyes full of anger.

But I surprised him by standing up. "You don't even love me."

"Yes I do!"

"Liar!" I spat, jabbing his chest. "If you loved me, you wouldn't harm me on a daily basis. Keep me in captivity!"

"I do it so you won't leave me again!"

"You're disgusting. I want a divorce. I don't love you anymore. You're the most disgusting human being I've ever seen! If you hadn't used these magic cuffs on me, I would've ended this pregnancy! But no! Again and again, you continue to harm me."

"Shut your fucking mouth-"

"Fuck..." I stared up at him with fear.

"That's right," he said. "Shut your fucking mouth and-"

"Nozel, I need you to fuck off. My water just broke."

His eyes widened and he grabbed me, not caring that I was protesting and jumped on a silver eagle, sending it flying to the hospital wing.

"No! Let me go!"

But he never listened.

Nacht demanded to see me as he was searching for me, anger evident in his voice.

Nozel wouldn't let him, but what happened next would never be forgotten.

I was still yelling at Nozel for the divorce and his anger was untamed.

He lifted my body, not caring I was in the middle of giving birth.

"You watch your fucking mouth, commoner."

He trapped me in his steel execution ball, but when I let out a scream when one stabbed my belly, he was knocked to the ground by my brother.

It was all a blur, but twenty minutes later, the doctors informed me that my son didn't make it.

"I'm sorry, Lady (y/n)."

I asked to see my son, unable to speak.

But when I saw his body that had a single arrow of mercury, I knew it was too late.

He was dead and so was I, in terms of feeling anything.

Nozel lifted his head from the ground and saw me holding the dead body of his son, his eyes wide as he tried to speak and get Nacht off him.

"You disgusting piece of shit," Nacht spat. "I never liked you, but this takes the crown."

Against Nozel's word, I had my son cremated and his ashes put into a locket that I put around my neck.

Due to his status as a royal, he allowed the officials to blame me for the death of our son.

The following day, I begged Julius to let me go with my brother since he was getting ready to go spy on the Spade kingdom.

He didn't know what happened between Nozel and I, but he allowed me to go.

The day I left, I hugged Solid one final time as he was the only Silva to see me off.

"You take care of yourself," I said to him. "And if you need anything, I'll come back for you."

He nodded and hugged me tightly, his tears dropping onto my clothing as he buried his face in my neck. "Okay...I'll miss you,"

"I'll miss you too."

I left him at the steps of the library, taking my brother's hand.

"You ready?" Nacht asked me.

I nodded. "Yep."

But I left something on Nozel's dresser since he was in a meeting for the captains.

It was my wedding ring in a box, in pieces just like I was.

End of Flashback

I heard from Noelle who apologized to me that the whole dynamic of House Silva changed.

Solid grew to be as abusive as his brother, chosing Noelle to be his victim.

But he fell under the influence of his older sister to hate commoners.

I heard from Noelle that he destroyed the communication device I gave him long ago, not wanting to talk to me.

But I was confused on that since Solid looked as if he wanted to hug me this morning when he saw me for the first time in six years.

I sighed and looked over at the clock.

"Tomorrow I'll go tell Julius to pair me up with someone else."

I refused to be near Nozel.

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Ngl I cried a bit, especially with the music.