I sit here at two in the morning, blinking tears away, beating myself up over getting so upset over such a pointless thing that has nothing to do with me. It shouldn't matter, I shouldn't care, yet I find myself pulling at my hair and screaming into my pillow because of something that shouldn't even matter.

It hurts and I don't understand why. This should mean nothing to me, yet it's everything. I've tried everything, but the thoughts won't stop; they won't go away.

You're not enough, and you never will be.

It's a suffocating feeling, a pillow held to your face, and once you think you've escaped, the pillow is back. When does one get a break? Is that something you have to request?

Well, I need a break.

They say it gets better, but when? Is it tomorrow? Next week? Next year? I'm stuck and it hurts because the suffocating feeling never goes away.

But I know I will get better. I'm going to get better. I shouldn't let the smallest things and people get in my way.

I will be okay. I'm going to turn out fine. I need to shut out the negative thoughts and think about what makes me happy. My sadness might feel like a tsunami, it may feel never ending, but it's all worth it in the end. Because when I'm happy, I don't have a single care in the world. And that is everything.

And all of a sudden, at three in the morning, I feel better now. I don't have a single care in the world.
C.V.