Dylan must have broken a dozen traffic laws getting across town, but I didn't say a word to slow him down. I gripped the door handle and braced myself on the tight turns, but kept my other hand flat on Dylan's thigh to keep myself calm. It was difficult trying to focus or calm down when anger and fear still pulsed through me at regular intervals.

As soon as we step into his hotel room I hurry towards the window, scanning the area, looking if I could spot one of the familiar cars Valentine's men drove. "We're not safe here."

"I made sure we weren't followed," he says slowly, his voice rough and quiet.

"Yeah but-"

"Noah," I almost jump at the feel of his hands on my shoulders. "We are at a very public hotel. There is a deadbolt on the door. They have security downstairs."

"Fuck. Sorry."

All this time I felt like I'd been trapped in some kind of bubble where time no longer existed. Nothing else could penetrate my consciousness. But now there are burning points of contact where his body meets mine, his large hands gripping my shoulders. The feel of his broad, muscular frame pressed against me, his chest brushing my back. The feeling of being pinned by him contradictorily makes me finally breathe the air that I was holding and just relax.

He turns me around and gently pulls me to sit on the bed. The room is still dark and we are illuminated by the street lights shining through the window. It's familiar and intimate in a way that makes my heart beat faster. He centres me. I'm safe with him. Always have been.

"So...I wasn't entirely honest about why I came to Alaska." I drag in a deep breath through my nose and begin. "I almost killed a man. They arrested me and I was going to end up in prison, but my uncle showed up and got me out with his connections. The only way for me to actually walk free was to leave the state, and go somewhere far, far away."

"Like Wake Forest, Alaska."

"Exactly."

"Why did you want to kill that man?"

"Because he was Maya's boyfriend."

His brows pull together, and he looks at me with what appears to be genuine confusion.

"She fell in love with this guy but very soon he started being controlling. They did drugs together, but soon he got her hooked on the hard stuff. And by the time addiction took every bit of her common sense she moved in with him and I couldn't do much about it. I couldn't help her."

My chest is fluttering with rapid breaths as I remember everything. The stories I heard about what she had to do in order to get more drugs. The air in the room is stifling, and my skin feels hot and itchy everywhere, like I'm breaking out into hives. My mind is somehow both swarmed with a million different things and completely blank. But I have to go on.

"... so when I got a very strange message from her after not hearing from her for days, I ended up going to his place. That's when I found her dead. She ODed. Then after the funeral I went to get this tattoo done." I gently rub the skin of my hand where the letter M is. "I had to go back to his place, I felt so much rage. When I found him there he was already with another girl... so I beat him up."

"My god, Noah..."

"Unfortunately I didn't kill him. And the most unfortunate thing about it all is that the man I didn't kill is Valentine Black, a crime boss in charge of a drug trafficking network."

"Fuck Noah. What are you saying?" Dylan blinks over wide, worrisome eyes. He sounds genuinely upset. Looks it, too. "Are you saying that a mafia boss is after you?"

"Yeah, he is." I can't help the bitter laugh that leaves my lips. "Anyway. This is where he found me, in LA, when I came to see my mom."

"Did he hurt you?" He's glaring, looking too tense.

"No." I give a single shake of my head. "Not like that."

"Wait. Did he hurt your mother?"

I just shake my head and grab his hand in mine, squeezing squeezing so hard that I think I'm going to hurt him. "He... he threatened me with... with you."

"Me?"

"When he found out where my mother was, it was very easy for him to find out where I was and who was I close to. They know where you live, they know where you work..."

"And you stayed? Why?!"

"Because he would've killed you if I didn't stay and work for him."

"Work what?"

"Dealing drugs."

"You silly silly boy. Why did you do that? Why couldn't you call me? Why?" His voice cracks near the end, and he struggles to spit the words out without crumbling.

"Because I didn't want to lose you too. You're everything to me, don't you see? I couldn't stand the idea of anything happening to you, so I hoped it would be better to have you hate me than to have you dead." I hate the pinpricks of tears at the corners of my eyes.

"Christ, that is the most beautiful and the most stupid thing I ever heard. I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you were risking your own life for mine. Stupid stupid stupid."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I bury my face against the burning skin of Dylan's neck and try to calm my frantic heartbeat. "I just needed you to be ok. I needed-"

"Never do that again," Dylan rasps, nuzzling his cheek against the top of my head. "God, you're so stubborn. But luckily so am I." His voice is hoarse. "I could have lost you when I only just found you."

Silence grows after his speech and there is calmness in the air between us, finally.

"He's never touching you ever again, Noah, that I can promise you," Dylan adds, the same earnest expression still on his face. "I want to kill him for doing that to you."

"No, please don't go near him, I'm begging you," my voice is so low it sounds scary even to myself. "Let's just go."

He stops my words with a kiss. His lips are warm and inviting. I want to crawl up inside him and live there forever. He is the only sense of home I'd had since leaving high school. He is the only certainty in a world where I'd become lost.

"Does that mean you're coming back to Alaska with me?" He asks when our lips part again.

"If you'll have me."

Dylan smiles, and my heart sings. The clouds and darkness retreat just a little, and I see hope in the distance for the first time in a long time.

"Why do you think I'm here? I'll always have you. I've never wanted anyone else like I want you. We'll figure it out. We'll figure all this out." He holds my face between his hands. "I love you. That's never changing, baby."

I close my eyes because it hurts too much to look at him. But it doesn't matter. He loves me. Dylan loves me. He wants to be with me. He wants to take care of me and protect me and make it so I am never alone again.

He loves me.

I can't say the words back this time. I just can't.

But for once I am going to ignore my brain and follow my heart.

Resting our foreheads together, gliding my hands over the smooth skin of his strong forearms, I close my eyes and fill my lungs before letting it out slowly, quietly. "I love you too, so fucking much, Dylan. So much."

I'm not even sure he hears me because my voice is cracking so damn bad, but when he lets out a little sigh and cradles the back of my head with his hand, I know he did.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it."

Dylan nods, sighing with relief. "You never even had to say the words to me. Just doing what you did, sacrificing yourself like that for me, is enough proof of your love."

I pull back to see that his eyes are on my chest. He slides the sleeve of my loose shirt down my shoulder and begins running his thumb over the lines that spell out his name.

"And this..."

"Loved," I say.

Dylan is silent for a long moment, just looking at me, and I am too petrified to read his expression. But I don't need to guess what Dylan is feeling when he yanks me into a bruising kiss. I melt into the taste of his mouth, grateful beyond words for something I'd feared I would never have again. The sweetness of Dylan's lips, the heat and strength of him, is something I know I'd remember if I lived to be one hundred. It feels like it will never end. I hope it won't. Eventually, Dylan breaks our kiss. His breath is hot and rapid against my wet mouth, and his eyes are burning.

"Let's go home," he says.

______