I did not know what her reaction would be. Still remembering that no-one had ever wanted to look at my abominable face, I hesitated. Just when she had stayed there, with me, instead of going away, just when I had gained hope that she would indeed keep her promise... once again I began worrying that she would run away. At the same time, though, I did realise that she deserved it. No matter how afraid I was, I knew that I could not hide away from her all my life if she was to stay there forever. One day she would get to know the truth – and it would be better if I had at least some control over it...

Of course, I could just let things happen and wait until her curiosity grew so strong that she would try to take that thing off of my face – but that was not what I wanted to take place. She would be terrified, and I... I would not be able to do anything with it. Moreover, I knew that my anger would take over me and I could hurt her, even though I did not want to see her suffer.

But then, would I not make her suffer if I let her see that thing I called my face? I had done nothing to deserve it, but maybe I was meant to be a demon, to live in hell. It was my fate and I could not change it. Maybe that was why everyone run away from me, why everyone loathed me. But if it were so... then why did I still have so much hope that at least Arlette would understand? Because she was my last chance.

I yearned for heaven, but I knew the only heaven I could be a part of was her. She could have chosen anyone... she could have left me when I had told her to go away, and she would be able to choose just any gentleman her age to make her happy. Instead, she had chosen to stay with me, although she knew that I could hurt her, even though unintentionally.

There were so many differences between the two of us – she was so young, so full of life, so beautiful. And I... I knew I was already old. There were not many years that parted me from death. And I was broken inside... but her love was something that could mend me. And then, there was my face, the thing that made me so loathsome... and there was nothing but this mask that could save me from her terrified look.

And yet, despite all those differences, we were still so similar. Both of us loved music more than anything else, and both of us had so much talent... together, we would be able to fill the world with melodies. Maybe we could even teach the world what the real beauty was... but I needed her to achieve that. I was not able to make it happen without her.

Besides, I simply wanted her by my side. I wanted her to be near... her beauty to lighten up the darkness I had lived in since I could remember. I desired the warmth of her body close to mine... her voice whispering into my ear. I wanted to see her fall asleep next to me and wake her up with kisses planted on her eyelids. I wanted to look at her as she raised her eyelids in the morning. I wanted to be the first and last thing she would see every day.

There was nothing and no-one I would have ever admired as much as her – her fair locks around her round, rosy face, her sweet, red lips (oh, did I desire to taste them...), her big, blue eyes filled with a dreamy look... She was my muse. My only wish. My only angel and goddess. There was nothing that could make me happy, nothing that could breathe a bit of life into my dark and lonely world but her.

Yes, I needed her.

And yet, I was doing something that could part me with her forever. Even if I forced her to stay with me, she might never be able to look at me again. She might come to hate me with burning passion, just like the rest of the world...

But had I not promised I would do everything she would ask of me? And there was her request – there was no chance she knew what she would see underneath the mask, so I could not believe she was doing it all to torment me. I had to keep my promise if she were to trust me, and I wanted her to trust me. I even wanted her to look at me with just as much admiration as I when looked at her... but there was no chance.

My no and my anger would separate me from her forever, that one thing I knew. That was why I did that. For her. For us.

I took a deep breath and allowed our hands to move away from my face. The mask fell down, the sound echoing through the hall.

***

What had I been expecting? I did not know. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard that I could hardly breathe, and it made me feel dizzy. Or maybe was it because of the thoughts that kept racing through my mind...?

The mask hit the floor, but I paid no attention to it as my eyes remained fixed upon my Angel's face.

I did not know what I had been expecting, but surely not that. Maybe I should have felt disgust, I do not even know, but I did not. Something pierced right through my heart painfully, and my hands curled up; I did not even notice that he still held my hands in his own, but his touch was soothing, in spite of that situation.

His face was so distorted it was heartbreaking. But there was nothing I could do with it – I might have been good at singing, but my voice would never heal that. Tears piled up in my eyes once again, but I dared not shed them – I did not want him to think I was afraid of him... that his real face terrified me, because it did not. I was surprised myself, but right now, I simply wished I were able to cure him.

He had never been like any other angel to me – maybe that was what made him my Angel. His face was not like any other angel's face, but once again, it could not bother me. He was special, unique...

Mine.

Trying to blink my tears away, I slipped one of my hands out of his grasp and raised it to touch his cheek gently, a bit afraid that my touch could hurt him. I was not quite sure if the deformation was not painful to him, but I simply wanted to do the very same thing he had done to me. I wanted to learn his face by heart.

My hand trembled slightly as I put my hand against his cheek, my thumb caressing his skin. I was so nervous, and yet, it made me in some way calm. Especially when I noticed he did not move away from me.

His eyelids soon fell shut, and he let out a deep sigh, leaning closer to my touch. For a moment I was surprised and wanted to take my hand away, but that was when he placed his hand over mine, not letting me go. After a moment, he took the other of my hands to place it on the healthy side of his face, and once more, I felt more vulnerable than ever. My body and mind belonged to him completely.

I had no idea what kind of magic he used; but he definitely had cast some kind of a spell upon me. I was no longer able to free myself from him. I knew he wanted me there, with him, and slowly I began getting used to the fact that I wanted to stay there, too. Maybe I had found out that there was a place for me...

"Arlette," he whispered, and it was the first word said out loud in a very long time. He let go of my hands to put his own on my cheeks. Despite that, I dared not let my hands fall down; I still wanted to caress his face, feel it so close to me. No longer was he hidden behind a mask, no longer was there a curtain between us; we were ourselves, together, and there was no barriers between the two of us.

Leaning in, he pressed his forehead against mine; until now I had not noticed how much taller than me he was, but at that very moment, it did not matter at all. I just felt he would truly be able to cover me with his wings if he wanted.

"Yes, my Angel?" I asked just as quietly, but there was no need to say anything louder – we were so close he would be able to read my lips. Right now, even my breath seemed to be louder than a thunder.

I did not know when I had closed my eyes; I noticed that only when I was forced to lift my eyelids to be able to glance up at him. Tears were rolling down his face as his thumb once again started tracing the line of my lips. He looked at me with so much yearning that it seemed to be impossible – no other person could ever look at another mortal with so much longing and admiration.

"You are so beautiful," he responded after a longer while. He formed his words cautiously, with hesitation, apparently not quite sure what my reaction would be. "A demon like me does not deserve such beauty."

"But you are not a demon," I answered instantly, and my voice sounded so certain that it surprised even me, although it should not have – I spoke honestly. "You are my Angel, monsieur, and an angel cannot be a demon."

His eyes were so gentle as he looked at me, smiling gently. I wondered how it was possible that his face changed so much when he got furious – right now, even despite that distortion, he was so handsome in my eyes. It was not the same handsomeness I knew from the life I had used to live – I had met many handsome men. Their faces were as different from my Angel's face as they could be, but right now I thought they were so primitive compared to him.

He was not young, I was aware of that – there were little wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, but they only added charm to his looks. And the way he glanced at me... no-one had ever looked at me with so many emotions. No other man seemed to be capable of holding that much in his heart – only my Angel.

"You deserved to see me," he added after a while, not responding to my words. One of his hands brushed some of my hair behind my ear as he placed a kiss on my forehead. "But you shall never see me again. I am ugly, my child, and nothing you say can change that. I could never hurt your eyes with something like that. I promised to show you the real beauty... and this is certainly not a part of it."

I opened my mouth to say something, so shocked and disappointed after hearing his words, but I could not find any proper answer.

With a deep sigh, he moved away from me and leant down to reach for the mask which he then promptly put back onto his face, creating a wall between us once again. For one short moment he was completely mine. There was nothing between us – but he decided to change that, and I found no courage to protest.

"Go away and rest. Tomorrow we will return to our lessons," he said, this time using his usual tutor voice, deprived of any emotion, dry and almost rough. Not turning back to look at me again, he left me just where I stood.

I had no idea why I felt so lonely. So let down. So disheartened. At that very moment I was almost as unhappy as when he had told me to leave him alone. It was as if I had just understood that that was where I was supposed to be, with him, and no power, even his words strengthened up with the hold he had over me, could change it.

Then why did he not understand it? And if he did understand it, then why did he not let me stay? Why did he not let me help him?

Curling my hands up into fists, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I did not need any rest, but apparently it was not me he had meant – he needed some time to get over the fact someone had seen him without his mask. I felt that I was one of very few who had seen his real face. At the same time, though, I had a feeling that not many reacted the way I did. Maybe he was afraid I would start hating him as well...

But I could not hate him. The more I got to know him, the closer he was to me. I had never respected anyone as much as I vauled him. Maybe Madame – but it was still not the same thing I felt for him. I did not even feel bad about being completely under his power. Serving him no longer seemed to be a trap, but a way to my happiness.

If only I could convince him to take that mask off... I wanted him to know that his face did not change anything between us. Or that it made him closer to my heart than he had ever been. No, than anyone before him had ever been. I did not feel repulsed by what I had seen; it pulled me towards him, making me trust him stronger than I would have ever wished.

I was so weak. But at the same time, I did not even struggle for any more power. I felt safe and warm there, underneath my Angel's wings. Just as he yearned for my closeness, I desired his presence with me.

With my heart strangely sore, I returned to my room and started practicing. That day, I did not spare my voice. I needed to forget about the feelings that hurt me, and practicing seemed to be the only thing capable of achieving that. It must have been hours before I finally returned to bed, exhausted, in despair, crying myself to sleep.

I just wanted him there, with me... was it really that much?