| | 3:20 p.m. | |

Me:
Dude...I was cutting it close this morning...

Jake:
Aren't you glad I called you then?

Me:
I would've preferred a more peaceful wakeup call. Not some marine shouting in my ear.

Jake:
Hey, this marine got your lazy ass out of bed this morning.

Me:
My ass was nowhere near being lazy. Thank you very much.

Jake:
Maybe it was...assidentally lazy...lol!!

Me:
Oh.My.God. Did you just?

Jake:
Yes. Yes I did. You jelly bro?

Me:
No...just...no.

Jake:
*le gasp* Don't tell me...you're not a punny person?! Hahahaha!!

Me:
Dear lord, make it stop!!!!

Jake:
Alright, alright. I'll stop...

Jake:
For now.

Jake:
But all puns and joking aside, you do have a pretty nice ass.

Me:
Just "pretty nice"???

Jake:
I mean, I wouldn't exactly call you a bubble butt.

Me:
Stop. I made a mistake. Let us stop talking about my rear end.

Jake:
Aaaw...am I making you blush?

Me:
Nope. Just...flushed.

Me:
See what I did there??

Me:
Cuz we're talking about butts, and so toilets...and flush...

Me:
No?

Jake:
Please...for the world's sanity. Don't ever make puns...ever.

* * *

Dedicated to the punny Rora_chan14. I tried, boo. Hahahaha!!! Have a great week everyone~

Happy (not) Monday!!

* * *

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