| | 9:00 a.m. ||

Jake:
So picture this...i woke up with one hell of a headache, took anything that can help with my hangover, checked my phone and saw that my drunken ass self called you last night...do i wanna know what we talked about??

Jake:
Mia?

Jake:
Ice princess?

Jake:
Ice queen.

Jake:
Oh! Here's a new one. Ice bitch!!

Jake:
Woman. GET YO ASS UP!!

Me:
We've talked about this, Jake. IT'S 9:15 IN THE FUCKING MORNING ON A FUCKING SATURDAY. LEAVE ME ALONE TO MY DREAMS OF RAVAGING CHRIS EVANS!!!

Jake:
...i told you my name last night?? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHRIS EVANS??!! YOU GOT THE WRONG CAPTAIN!!! CHRIS PINE FOR LIFE, BABY!!!

Me:
No, Pete said it. HELL NAW!! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE WRONG CHRIS!!

Jake:
I let you talk to Pete?? WHATCHU MEAN?? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW AWESOME CAPTAIN KIRK IS???

Me:
Yes. Yes you did. You told him to say hi to me. NO. BECAUSE CAPTAIN AMERICA TOPS CAPTAIN KIRK ANYTIME OF THE DAY!!!!

Jake:
Dang...i must've been real drunk. HA!! OBVIOUSLY YOUR CAPTAIN ISN'T AWESOME ENOUGH SEEING AS EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT HIM CAME FROM A BOTTLE!!!

Me:
...you're Team Iron Man, aren't you?

Jake:
Foevah, baby.

Me:
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

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