A/N: Hello lovelies! Now, you may recognise this from You Should Have Got Her Number, but that's only the half of it. Do NOT skip this chapter, because if you do I'm sure you will strongly regret it, and be very confused later on! So, I hope you enjoy!

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Ada

I looked in the mirror, running a hand through my thick hair.

"You look like shit," I muttered to myself, unable to take my eyes off the deep shadows beneath them. I needed to sleep. I always needed sleep.

When I was little, I slept in a room with my big brother and when he grew out of sharing a room, I struggled. I couldn't get to sleep without the comfort of someone else in the room.

That never really went away. Not until Hayden.

A small smile lifted my lips at the thought of him. Everything with him was a blur, going so fast I wanted to scream for it to slow down. I wanted to remember every bit of this, of him, of us.

It hadn't been long since we became a thing but it felt like I had never been without him. I felt so comfortable around him, a feeling which I wasn't used to.

Which is why I could sleep with him, in the most innocent way possible because as of today, I was fifteen and not ready for that. But ever since the first night he had climbed up to my window and realized I struggled to sleep, he had stayed with me until I was unconscious. He still didn't know the reason behind it and I wasn't about to tell him. It made me sound even younger and as much as I wanted to say I was totally, one hundred percent fine with our age difference, I wasn't. I was trying, but I felt too young for him.

Then again, he was a complete immature idiot so I felt I was older than him. I think that's why we worked.

I turned away from my mirror with a sigh and jumped a little, gasping.

"Happy to see me?" Speak of the devil. Hayden.

I struggled to even contemplate my response as I looked him up and down.

He was in his slacks, a nice dress shirt he had buttoned at the cuffs with his light hair gelled for once, sitting perfectly instead of in it's usual cute mess.

I couldn't handle how insanely handsome he looked. Especially with his smile. It wasn't the huge goofy grin he usually had plastered on his face when he caught me by surprise – which was more often than it should have been – or the smirk he got when he teased me. It was peaceful. Content.

Without taking my eyes off him, I realized the window was open, meaning no one else knew he was here. Jay Jay didn't. He was all mine.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a quiet voice, taking small sluggish steps towards him. If I wasn't so tired I would have run and jumped on him, but my legs were struggling to hold me up already.

"Seeing my girlfriend on her birthday. Is that a crime?" He closed the distance between us in two strides and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Yes," I mumbled and he chuckled, his body shaking mine. I bit my lip to stop the smile that was about to consume my face and took a step back, but not before he could place a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll already be going to jail so it'll just add more time to my sentence," he joked, but I didn't find it so funny. He was referring to us, that we were breaking the law by dating. He was three years older than me when we started going out. He said as long as I didn't mind, he didn't either, but I'd never been okay with breaking the rules, even if no one knew.

I didn't want to start this conversation again so I just turned back to my closet and rifled through my dresses.

"You're tired," he observed and I could hear him making himself comfortable on my bed. He was observant like that, which I loved and hated. It meant he noticed when I wasn't okay and he would worry, but sometimes I didn't want him to worry.

"I didn't get to sleep last night." I'd told Hayden not to come over. He was tired too and needed his sleep when he wasn't getting enough of because of me. But that meant I couldn't sleep.

"How is it that you manage to sleep when I'm here but when I'm not, you don't? Are you just missing me too much?"

I chuckled and pulled out a dress, holding it against myself and looking in the mirror. "Yes, Hayden. I can't go fourteen hours without you. It's just too painful," I said with heavy sarcasm, hanging my dress on the door handle and padding across to where he was lying. He looked like a Greek God; and he was all mine.

"Hey," he reprimanded, his lip jutting out into a pout. "Do not mock my feelings because you think they're stupid." Then he opened his arms and I crawled into them, praying to god no one from my family would decide it the perfect time to barge into my room. Especially Jay Jay. That would not be fun to explain.

"You're such a girl," I teased and he pinched my waist. I squealed and wriggled out of his grip but he was already up and looking at me with those mischievous eyes that made me knew I was in trouble.

"Don't you dare," I warned from the other side of my bed. His mouth just quipped up into a smirk and he lunged for me.

"No!" I squealed as he chased me around my room, but really, what chance did I have? He was fast and in no time he grabbed me around the waist and slung me to the bed and started to tickle me.

"Stop!!" I tried to exclaim through the laughter, tears streaming down my face. I was trying to kick out of his grasp but he was sitting on my legs. Oh, also don't forget the fact that he was a tall muscly seventeen-year-old boy. I had no hope.

"Hmm..." He trailed, his hands drifting from my stomach to my hands, linking his fingers through mine. "What do I get in return?" He asked, laying me back on the bed. My cheeks flushed and I bit my lip, hating how he affected me. This shouldn't be possible, to like someone so much. My chest actually contracted when he inched his beautiful face closer.

My mind flittered back to the fourteenth of February, to Valentine's Day. He had climbed up my window when I was reading late at night, coming back from a party he was attending with my brother. He had squeezed through my window and fell onto the floor, causing me to erupt into a fit of laughter, but I was immediately silenced when he blurted, "I don't care how you feel about me, I just need you to know that I love you." And then after I didn't say anything for a minute he said, "okay that first part was a lie, I really really do care how you feel about me."

I felt bad, but I didn't love him. I knew my feelings weren't that strong so I didn't say it back, but now the emotions hit me like a train and I just smiled up at the idiot on top of me and said, "I love you."

His mouth popped open and I let out a light laugh, lifting my hand to his face. "You're a moron, but I do."

"Say it again so I know it's real," he whispered, holding himself above me.

"I love you."

"Again?"

"Hayden Dean Porter," I said, lifting my head to press a kiss to his cheek, letting my lips linger there before moving them to his ear where I whispered, "I love you."

And then I looked at him and barely had time to smile before he kissed me, but it was different from before. Before he would have started off soft, slow, making sure I was ready and letting me be in control.

But now, he just kissed me like he wasn't scared of breaking me, like he wasn't scared I'd disappear. He kissed me like he loved me and I loved him.

Of course someone took that perfect opportunity to knock on my door and Hayden's lips were off mine in a flash and my heart was racing a million miles an hour and I had to not think about it.

"Who is it?" I asked, my voice weak. You couldn't really blame me; Hayden was still lying in between my legs, his arms folded on my stomach where his chin was on them.

"Jacob. Can I come in?"

Hayden's eyes went wide at the sound of my brother's voice and he got off me, letting me sit up.

"Uh," I said, trying to think of something to say. Fudge. "I'm getting changed." Yes, that would work.

"When you're done can you come to my room? I have no fucking clue what to wear."

I forced a laugh at that and I heard Jay Jay's on the other side of the door. But then I thought about how I was hiding something from him and it made me stop laughing. He deserved to know that I was dating his best friend, regardless of his reaction. Surely he wouldn't want us to stop seeing each other.

I had to tell him.

"I'll be there in five," I said and I heard his footsteps retreat to his room.

Hayden ran a hand through his hair, messing it up a little. He just looked into my eyes and nodded, a crease in his forehead that made me know he was thinking the same thing. "We'll talk about it later. I only have a few minutes to do what I came here for."

I raised my eyebrows but his messed up hair was hind of bugging me so I got off the bed and stood in front of him, reaching up on my tip-toes to fix it back into place.

"So you didn't come here just to see your girlfriend on her birthday! Liar!"

He laughed, shaking his head at the same time as he pulled something out of his pocket.

"I did, but I also wanted to give her this," he said and opened the black box.

On the velvet cushion lay a thin, rose gold chain. A bracelet. A charm bracelet.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw what was hanging off it.

"The music note is for your musically inclined brain," he said, lifting it out of it's cushion and holding it up. "The world if for all the languages you speak because you are so god damn smart," he continued, undoing the clasp. I held out my wrist. "And the heart, well, that was mine-" he fixed the clasp and let his hand drop. "It's now yours."

I gently put my fingers to it, making sure it was real. Was Hayden really that thoughtful? That amazing? That lovely?

Of course he was. It was just a side of him that didn't surface often.

"I love it," I whispered, looking up into his eyes which smiled down at me.

"I love you," he whispered and quickly pressed his lips to mine. "But you have to go help Jacob."

"We should tell him..." I trailed, and Hayden just nodded, kissed my forehead again, said "Later," and climbed out of my window, disappearing into the dusk light.

I sighed but all my exhaustion was forgotten. It was like I'd had a caffeine shot, my whole body buzzing with life and energy.

I quickly changed into my black dress which was clung to my waist and flared out at the skirt and padded down the hall in my bare feet, knocking lightly on my brother's door.

"Come in," he called and I opened the door to his room which quadrupled the size of mine. He was sitting on his couch with a book in his hand, slacks on but just an ordinary t-shirt covering his top half.

"You need help?" I asked and he looked up from his book, smiling when he saw me.

"You are a lifesaver. I need to know what shirt to wear."

"To impress Kaia?" My brother may not have been observant, but I was.

His eyes narrowed but only slightly and I rolled mine. "You don't have to pretend. I know you like her."

"Do I though?" he sounded unsure of himself. I headed to his walk in wardrobe and spoke from in there.

"Yes. She's perfect for you and I think you need to stop denying it." I pulled out a dark blue shirt that would look nice and handed my brother the coat hanger.

"Thanks," he said, acknowledging the shirt. I took a seat on his couch as he changed his shirt, struggling with buttons on the cuff and instead decided to roll them up.

"Are you going to say anything about Kaia?"

"There's nothing to say." He looked conflicted himself, as if he didn't know if he liked her of not, so I wasn't about to push it. I picked up the book he had been reading and flicked through the pages, the book in my favourite language.

The doorbell for the front door rang and my heart spiked, knowing exactly who it was going to be.

So did my brother. "That's Hayden. I'll be back in a minute." And then he jogged out of the room. I had to work so hard to keep the smile off my face as I peered down at my charm bracelet.

I realized if I was in a room with Hayden right now, Jacob would notice something was up between us. I wanted him to know but I wanted to tell him, not for him to notice. I had to leave.

I pinched the book knowing Jay Jay wouldn't notice it was gone and stepped around the jigsaw that was his floor. I was almost at the door when the boys walked in. I muttered a curse under my breath and paused. They were joking about something or other, both of them laughing.

"Hey, where are you going?" My brother asked but my eyes were on Hayden who was looking me up and down with a raised eyebrow and an impressed expression. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that.

"Back to my room. I need to finish getting ready."

"Oh, good point," he chuckled but then looked at Hayden and punched him on the arm. "Quit staring at my sister."

"It's not my fault she's gorgeous." My cheeks flushed and I so badly wanted to hit him. What the hell was he thinking?? Jacob wasn't that unobservant, was he? Of course he didn't care, he just winked when Jay Jay wasn't looking.

"You're a creep," he said and then turned to me. "Ignore him."

"Don't worry," I just brushed it off and then left without another word. I would have said I will to ignoring him but there was no way I was pretending he didn't say that. Hayden wasn't about compliments, as in, he rarely gave them. Especially about how I looked, so I had no idea what he thought. Whether he liked my personality or appearance or both. That confirmed that it was both and it made me kind of happy.

Okay, I was practically skipping back down the hall to my room. I closed the door behind me and leant against it, sliding down to the ground with the stupidest smile toying with my lips.

The things that boy reduced me to.

I felt like playing my piano, so I rushed my makeup and scooped my heels into my hand to take them downstairs. I locked myself in the music room and perched myself on the stool, my shoes forgotten on the floor.

Never in my life had I felt so badly like playing. For me, music was like therapy. Whenever I was sad I would go to my music room and play, and then I wouldn't be so sad anymore. I'd never reached the stage where I was so happy that I wanted to hear it.

I hadn't bothered to take out my sheet music so I composed my own. It wasn't anything spectacular, but I was so lost in it I didn't realize someone standing in the doorway until it came to a close.

"I noticed a few minutes ago that I've never heard you play; not in person."

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. Anyone could walk in at any moment. All five members of my family were wondering around and could decide to wonder in here.

"Please, Ada," Hayden rolled his eyes, coming to lean against the wall right by my stool. "This is innocent enough. Even if anyone did come in, they wouldn't suspect anything."

"What's Jacob doing then?"

"Showering." Another roll of the eyes. "He's nervous."

"I could tell."

"Anyway. Will you play for me?"

I was torn, between wanting to play and the fear that he would think I was no good. I decided the only way I could was to play off sheet music, so I asked him what he'd like to hear.

"Whatever you'd like to play me."

I took this as Whatever you think I'd like to hear, so I padded across to my shelves of sheet music, crouched down to the piano one just above the floor and to the E folder.

Hayden loved Ed Sheeran, in the man crush sort of way. Though he'd never admit it. He spoke about him reverently, and I knew if Hayden could have dinner with anyone in the world it would be him.

I flicked through to the newest music of his that I had, picking one that I could sing.

I took a breath, elongated my spine, circled my neck, and lifted my fingers to the keys. Then they just seemed to play, doubling the introduction before my voice came in an octave above.

"Until night turns into morning you'll be in my arms; and we'll keep driving along the boulevard; and if I kiss you, darling, please don't be alarmed; it's just the start of everything if you want a new love."

Then Hayden came in with his smooth but rough voice the octave below and he drifted closer, the smile on my face growing like a flower in spring. I got lost in the music and Hayden and the happiness that had filled my life.

But the sheets were depleting and I had run out of notes and like all good things, it had to come to an end. And I did all that I could; I laughed.

"I need to stop underestimating you," Hayden muttered, in his original position against the wall with bewilderment in his eyes. It flipped my stomach to know I had impressed him, and it took all I had to not do something stupid.

Good thing I did too, because the door squeaked open and Jacob slipped through, his eyes darting between the two of us without suspicion.

"Mutti's calling you for dinner; everyone is in the dining room," he said to me, then glanced at his best friend who was yet to look his way. "You too, idiot. Come on."

I closed the lid of my piano and slid my shoes on, all the while being subjected to the boyish banter.

"But we can't start without your girlfriend," Hayden drawled, elbowing Jacob in the ribs with a teasing smirk. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"But you want her to be."

"Shut up."

"You're not denying it?" Hayden gasped.

"No, I mean yes, I mean... Shut the f-" he glanced towards me. "Shut up."

"Ooh Jay Jay's in love!" He squealed, and the murderous look in Jay Jay's eyes made me want to laugh. As much as I loved my brother there was no way he could take Hayden on. Jacob was more lean whereas Hayden had a bit more muscle built up. It was amusing to think he could take him.

The doorbell rang and Jay Jay shot one last glare Hayden's way and rushed to get it.

"He's in love," Hayden just stated, then turned back to me with a softer smile. He didn't say anything, but I knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling, and I was feeling the same.

We headed to the dining room where everyone cheered as I walked in. Hayden and I sat opposite each other and Mutti started gushing over me, but then we heard voices from the hall and the room fell silent.

Kaia was here, and she walked in on Jacob's arm with a smile on her face that was far from fake. When she saw me she beamed and came straight over, almost squealing "Happy birthday!" as she pulled me into a hug. No one could hear as she whispered "I'd say I hope you've had a good day but from the hickey on your neck I don't think I need to."

I could feel the flames burn my cheeks as Kaia pulled away on the verge of laughter. She knew I had no idea what was on my neck but I couldn't look to see if she was telling the truth because it would draw attention. Instead Kaia handed me a little velvet box.

I was touched. "You didn't have to," I told her earnestly. It wasn't like she was actually dating Jacob and I wasn't sure she considered me a friend, but I sure felt like she did tonight.

She just shrugged, her eyes eager for me to open it. They urged me to open the box and when I did, the thoughtfulness was overwhelming. Amongst the velvet lay a simple rose gold ring, a delicate daisy with a yellow gemstoned centre fashioned on the top. It was beautiful.

"Thank you so much!" I gushed and couldn't help but hug her again.

"It's my pleasure," she said, lowering her voice to say; "Hayden said you'd like the yellow, by the way."

"Well I love it! Thank you!"

She laughed and just went to sit back beside my brother, holding his hand so naturally like they were an old married couple. I slid my new favourite ring on my left middle finger and took my seat again in time for Mutti to make her toast.

It was simple and lovely and I was sure my cheeks were scarlet by the time everyone had raised their glasses.

I fell into a conversation with Hayden about his art which he still didn't want to show me, which then morphed into our usual discussion of the couple beside him. My brothers had just started clearing the table and Jacob had come back and kissed Kaia's cheek, ensuing a conversation long enough to get him out of a round of clearing.

Kaia left first, and then Hayden did with a whispered promise to text me after I'd gone to bed so that he could come over. I was looking forward to it but first, I had to see Jacob.

All through dinner the guilt was consuming me; guilt for hiding such a thing as this from my brother. I had been working up the courage as I took my makeup off and changed into my pajamas, telling myself it was a good idea. Hayden wanted to be the one to do it, but there were less chances of Jacob killing me than him.

I passed Mutti in the hall which made me jump, her stomping not unusual but certainly unsettling. She had come from Jacob's room. I stood outside the same door she'd just almost closed and took a deep breath, working up the slip through the door.

Jay Jay was in bed; a groan had just rumbled his throat.

"Is this a bad time?" I asked, hardly able to hear myself over my pounding heart.

He shrugged, said "I'm up now," and half gestured for me to sit by him.

"Mutti looked mad," I said, trying to make small talk. You could call it procrastination, but I convinced myself I was just working up the courage.

"She was a little. It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "What's up?" He was more concerned with me than whatever he had spoken with Mutti about, and it made me feel worse about what I was going to say. He'd never done anything but look out for me, and when I did something he potentially didn't approve of, I kept it from him. It felt worse than betrayal.

"Well." I cleared my throat. Smoothed my hair. Looked down at my hands. "I kind of need to tell you something."

"This doesn't sound good."

I grimaced. "I don't think you'll like it."

"Can it wait for another time then?" He asked, and as much as I wanted it to be out in the open I jumped at the opportunity to reschedule this conversation. "It's late and I think we both need our sleep."

"Not that you're going to school anyway." Royce had come into my room just before and told me he'd been suspended for the day. He didn't say why, but the fact that he was so calm and looked almost, proud, made me think it wasn't so awful.

"You heard?"

I nodded. "Royce is giving me a lift."

"Good idea," he laughed, but then his frown was back as he observed mine. "You can tell me now If you need to get it off your chest."

I shook my head and got off his bed, my heart finally steadying as if it was happy at my decision evade the truth a little while longer. "You're right. It's late and it can wait. I'll see you after school."

A few more short words and I was gone, walking back down the hall and closing my door behind me.

I didn't even have the chance to be relieved at my decision when my phone rang, the screen illuminating my dark room and displaying a small H in the middle of the screen.

"Hello?"

"Would you really like to see my drawings?" His voice was almost hurried, like he needed an answer fast otherwise the opportunity wouldn't present itself again. Maybe that was just what I was scared of, but of course I wanted to see his drawings. It was a part of Hayden that I was yet to truly discover, and I wanted to dig further through that book to see what else had piqued his interest enough to put on paper. A secret passageway to Hayden's simply complicated mind.

"I'll be over in a few."

I tucked my phone into my pocket and snuck away, managing to get my bike for the journey to be quicker. I don't know how no one woke up or heard me leave, but my phone stayed silent and I was left alone until I crept into Hayden's room, not having to worry about waking anyone because no one else was home.

He was sitting at his desk, the big black folder closed in front of him. I found it hard to believe he had suddenly decided to share. Maybe it had been the confession of my love for him earlier that had changed his mind, or something else I wasn't able to see. Either way, I was curious, excited, and a little nervous.

What if I didn't like what I saw?

I guess I was willing to take that risk.

He caught sight of me standing at the door and motioned for me to come in, his smile soft and tired and a touch dopey. I was responsible for the shadows beneath his eyes that brought so much guilt to me that almost made me uncomfortable, but he'd said before and would say it again that "it's all worth it" and "I can sleep when I'm dead". I wasn't a fan of the last phrase.

Without a word he pulled me gingerly onto his lap, his arms around my stomach and his chin on my shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my shoulder and I squeezed his hand, before the whispered words "open it" registered in my brain.

This was a big deal to him. Hayden wasn't the type of person to share everything about himself, let alone something that was like his diary. He'd said once he wouldn't show it to me because he didn't want me to see what he truly thought, and now he was giving me the free passage to his mind.

My hand slid hesitantly over the smooth cover, fingers curled around the corner as I lifted it open.

The first I'd seen; the breathtaking one of me as a pianist on my laptop. I couldn't help but stare at it, until Hayden decided it was time to flip the page.

It was me, again, as was the one on the page beside it. And the double page after, and the ones after that. The more pages I turned the more drawings of me I saw, each as incredible as the last.

Not only was I speechless at the subject of the drawings, I was amazed at the raw talent; the pure skill. Each either looked like a photograph or a purposefully sketched drawing for the effect. My favourite was the first, the one I'd seen the other night, until I flipped to the second last page.

It was me; sprawled across a bed in a room that was all too familiar; Hayden's. My legs were tangled through the covers and the top I wore had scrunched up above my belly button. My hair was spread in a mess across the pillow and, in the bed beside me, was a boy. Tall and beautiful and staring down at the sketched me as he held my hand.

I ran my fingers over it as if to see if it were real, only then noticing the soft music drifting through the room. A quiet, warm hum stirring a feeling in my stomach I couldn't shake. My heart beat faster as I looked to the blank page beside it, a vast space of white bar the small writing in the bottom corner.

You are my first love, and I hope you will be my last.

Wishing Ada Rosaline Beck a birthday as beautiful as herself.

Lots of love,

Your Hayden

"Do you like it?" His voice was low in my ear, husky as if he'd just woken up.

I managed to turn so that my legs dangled either side of him; my hands on his chest, my tear pricked eyes to his intense ones, my heart beat synchronised with his.

"It's," I stumbled, one of his hands sliding from my hip to my cheek to catch a falling tear. "It's beautiful."

His eyes were brimming with love and there was nothing else to say; I pressed my lips to his.

Something happened then, something that flipped inside both of us that turned our kiss from an innocent peck to something far more. Suddenly, I couldn't get enough. I wanted to be closer, closer, and I know he felt it too.

His tongue caressed my upper lip, soft and gentle in a time of what felt like chaos. My moan died on his lips and he gripped my thighs tighter, his fingers digging into my skin, and the next minute he had lifted me up and was carrying me to his bed. He lay me down gently and broke our kiss, just long enough for me to slide my hands down to the hem of his shirt and lift it over his head.

Then his lips were back on mine and it was as if they'd never left, and I wasn't sure I'd ever want them to. His hands were everywhere and I felt myself being consumed by something I'd never expected, something I didn't recognize until Hayden did.

He froze, pulling away so that his face was distanced from mine. His breathing was heavy, laboured, his face a mixture of a million emotions I could only pick out two; shock and deep lust.

"Ada." He breathed, closing his eyes as if he needed to think, or concentrate, or both. "What are you... What are we doing?"

"I want you, Hayden." My voice didn't waver, didn't trip, didn't shake. It was strong, confident, because I had never been more clear on anything. I swear he stopped breathing, as he waited for me to confirm what he thought he'd heard. "I love you... and now I want you."

"Ada..."

"Don't you?"

"It's not that, trust me," he said, breathing harder than a moment ago. I could see his will diminishing by the second as he inched his way down to me. "Just... it's your first time."

"I know."

"And it might be, uncomfortable, for you..."

I traced my fingers up his abs, his chest, over his shoulder to rest on his cheek, before sliding them back down the other way to rest on the waist line of his shorts. My fingers hooked underneath the band and his breathing stopped.

I loved being able to cause that.

I was sure this was what I wanted. I loved Hayden and this is how I wanted it to happen; with someone who was talking about lasts when we were only at our firsts.

"I trust you," I whispered against his mouth, and his will crumbled to dust.