A/N: I've been reading a lot of Jamie McGuire. If you haven't read her books (Beautiful Disaster especially) you should. But if you have you will understand how my mind concluded that the chapter should end in the way it does. Enjoy lovelies xx

***

Hayden

Jacob was just about drooling over Kaia, as was almost everyone at Margaret's Valentine's Day party. They were just about to make their relationship official, which only made me want to be with Ada more.

I sunk further into the deck chair and pulled my phone from my jeans.

H: wish u were here... this party is fucking lame

She probably didn't have her phone on her. My bet was that she was either doing homework or with her family. Maybe she was in her music room practicing piano, or violin. Or any of the other instruments she played.

Damn, she was brilliant.

It was weird to think we'd been together for such a little time but I liked her more than I had ever liked anyone. She was the girl that, when fourteen year old guys realized they liked fourteen year old girls, everyone would be pining after. It was pure luck that I'd managed to sweep her away before they could figure it out.

Cheering came from inside, and I looked through the huge glass doors just in time to see Kaia kiss Jacob. He could have hid his surprise better. He froze, and it was fucking hilarious.

My phone chimed and the contact came up with mon amour with a yellow love heart, what she had changed her name to on my phone what feels like a lifetime ago. I begged for her to tell me what it means but I figured I could save the trouble and go to Google Translate. The name was spot on.

Kaia and the motley crew filtered out through the back door in the same moment Jacob decided to get a drink, leaving in the other direction.

I didn't take enough notice of them as I read Ada's text.

A: wish u were here 2. Just finishd up w piano

I started tapping in a response.

"Who are you texting?"

The voice came from way closer than I expected and I jumped, nearly dropping my phone in the process. I looked to my left where Kaia was smirking, looking at me with calculating eyes.

"Jesus fuck, Kaia," I cursed, sinking back into the chair. "You scared the shit out of me."

She raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips. "You must be in a pretty interesting conversation if that scared you."

"Yeah, well," I fumbled for a response, annoyed at the fact that the conversation wasn't the most interesting but it was still better than almost any I'd had today because it was Ada. "Shut up."

"Who's the girl?"

I couldn't help but wonder why she couldn't just be like Jacob with no sense for other people.

"None of your business."

"Well she's clearly not here otherwise you'd be with her."

"Quit it," I warned.

"Do I know her?"

I faltered, and in that moment Kaia's eyes widened in realization. For a minute I thought she figured it out, but then she just cheered "I do!" and relief surged through me.

"Stop it."

She paused, and I almost thought she was going to listen to me. I should have known better. "Why is this one different?"

Different from all the girls I'd been a jerk to over the past few years. She was different because she made me realize what I was doing was wrong, and that I didn't want to do that. She was different because she was smart, and didn't take my shit, and also because she was my best friend's little sister.

My laugh was bitter and short. "There are so many reasons, Kaia. But I really care about her."

Kaia's face softened, and I knew she was done taking the piss. "Does she?"

Just the thought of being able to say yes to this question had a smile take over my lips as I nodded, not wanting to speak at the risk of sounding like a doofus.

"So are you two dating and just keeping it a secret?"

I nodded again, but this time I wasn't proud of it. I didn't want our relationship to sound like it shouldn't be happening, even though it was the cold hard truth.

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know," was my immediate response, my body rejecting the word love as soon as it heard it. I didn't want to think about whether I did or not, but when I looked down to my phone and saw a new text message from her, I realized that maybe I was.

"I've liked her for so long," I admitted. "But it's only been recently that we've gotten really close. I just... I don't know."

"There's something you're not telling me-" yeah, the fact that it's Jacob's little fucking sister "-and I'm not going to ask you what it is. But if you love her, you should tell her."

"The problem is," I said, my voice barely audible over the partying background. "I shouldn't. I shouldn't be in love with her."

"But you are."

I sighed, and the word "Yes" was out of my mouth before I had the time to think about it.

Wait. I just admitted to being in love with Ada.

Fuck, I needed to tell her.

I don't know what came over me but in the next second I was on my feet, shoving my phone into my pocket, thanking Kaia and basically running out the door.

I couldn't comprehend what I was doing, but within minutes I was scaling the tree that led to Ada's window, the one I had become so used to climbing that it took less than thirty seconds to reach her window. Her open window.

She didn't know I was coming, or at least she didn't think I was. But the window was still open and I still had a way in.

My mind didn't stop to think what I would have done if she weren't in her room, or if Milena or her mother were in here with her, but it turned out I didn't need to.

Ada was sitting cross legged on her bed, her long hair falling over her shoulders and framing her delicate face. She was reading, in the jumper that I'd left here a few night ago by accident. It was a thousand times to big for her and came down to her mid thighs, the sleeves she'd rolled up to be at her wrists. I couldn't see if she were just wearing really short shorts or underwear but either way she looked so fucking sexy that I had to take a few deep breaths before I slid in through the window.

Unfortunately, my foot caught on the sill and I fell to the ground, in the most ungraceful and awkward manner I had ever done so before.

Ada didn't even question my being there; she just erupted into a fit of laughter that she had to put her hand over her mouth to mute it. But it stopped when I stood, determined to tell her how I felt.

"I don't care how you feel about me," I said, and her breath caught. "I just need you to know that I love you."

It was like a weight off my shoulders, but Ada just stood with her mouth partially open, not saying anything for a good minute.

"Okay," I said when it got too much. "That first part was a lie. I really really do care how you feel about me."

It seemed to get her out of her astonishment, but her eyes seemed sad in the instant before she looked down. I knew that she didn't love me, but that was actually okay.

"You said, that Valentine's Day is about recognizing your significant other for what they mean to you. It doesn't matter if you don't love me; I didn't say it to hear it back. I said it because you changed my entire world, and I love you for that, and for everything else you are and want to be. Okay?" I could see that she felt bad, so I just took three big steps and wrapped her in my arms, letting her know that it was really okay. She melted into me, and after not long she pulled me into her bed and we went back to normal.

Well, almost normal. Her legs were driving me insane and I forced my hands to stay away from them. Ada wasn't ready for anything sex related and I would rather eat burning coal than pressure her into anything or even suggest that I would do as such. It wasn't her fault she was so amazing, and it wasn't her fault that I was a seventeen year old boy who struggled to keep his, feelings, under control.

"How was the party?" She asked me, lying on her side and propping herself up on one elbow. My eyes lingered on her hips, her legs where my jumper ended and then the roof, where I had to turn my attention.

"Boring as hell. But Jacob asked out Kaia in front of everyone and then she kissed him and he acted like a moron."

"Wow," she laughed, processing the new information. "That reminds me though, of our bet."

"You're still thinking they'll be together by Jacob's birthday? Not sooner?"

Instead of confirming this, which she may have done by nodding but I had no idea because I wasn't looking at her, she just said, "What do I get for winning?"

"You're confident," I observed, making the mistake of looking over at her. She ran her fingers through her hair and I quickly averted my eyes, directing my thoughts to the goriest parts of Daredevil. Knives, blood, impaling, more blood.

"Hey, what's up?" She changed the topic, her voice gentle as if she knew she wouldn't want to hear the answer. For once I wished she had her brothers lack of observance so she wouldn't be able to see my internal conflict.

"Saying 'nothing' would be pointless, right?"

"Hayden." It sounded a bit like a warning, but she was more worried than annoyed. She put her hand on my arm, in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting but had the opposite reaction. I stood up as quickly as I could and went to her desk, taking a seat and putting my head in my hands.

I heard shuffling behind me and careful, thought out footsteps coming closer, but I thought as long as I kept my head down I would be fine.

"It's not you," I explained, keeping my eyes squeezed shut. "I swear, it's not."

"It's not you, it's me?" She guessed, her voice close.

I nodded and I heard her sigh, but then she pulled my hands away from my face and looked at me, her eyes older than mine in a million ways. The dim light radiating from the lamp softened her features and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it, before I'd have to do something drastic like jump out the window.

Her movements were slow and subtle, still taking the time to read what thoughts I had running through my mind. She carefully, skillfully, put her legs on either side of the chair and sunk into my lap, her jumper, my jumper, bunching up so that I could see her black underwear.

Fuck.

"Ada, please," I whispered and she silenced me with her lips, a kiss I couldn't enjoy because I had to keep in control.

"If you think I don't know what's going on," she muttered. "You're wrong."

"Then what are you doing?" Blood. Explosions. Fights. Beheadings. Blood.

Her hands trailed from my neck down my chest, so slowly and delicately it was driving me insane. She reached the bottom of my shirt, and, like she was so practiced at it, lifted the hem. It came effortlessly off, and she took a minute to take in at my chest, my abs, with her fingers and her eyes.

Those ocean blue eyes met mine with a calmness I wasn't expecting and a confidence I would never have guessed was in the girl on top of me. Her lips didn't turn up and her voice didn't shake, as she whispered against my mouth; "I'm experimenting."