18 AUGUST

"When your eyes met mine,

My SOUL pointed at you

and whispered to my HEART.

'HIM'......."

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Next day was normal i did not asked anything about last night, i thought there is no point of asking because if he wants to tell me then he will tell me.

"Yah Y/N, you told me yesterday that you will be bringing more rice" jackson said and pouted.

"Atleast finish this" you said poking his forehead.

"Jin you wrote the essay which was given?" Taehyung asked jin who was eating the rolled omelette.

"Yes you want it?" he said raising his eyebrows.

"Yah yah you smart-heads will you just keep the study topic aside and concentrate on food..."

"Y/N you keep on talking about food 24/7" saying this taehyung gave a high five to jin.

"Pss.... jerks" you mumbled.

After school i and jin started walking home.

"Y/N lets sit somewhere" jin said looking at me.

"ok" i smiled.

We sat on the desk in the park there were an awkward silence between us.

"My Eomma wanted to leave appa when i was 2 years old" jin said with a low tone.

"My appa wanted her to stay for me, he was afraid that i will be left alone in that young age so he forced her to stay. There were nothing in between them it was just a forced relationship. I was raised by my eomma while my father were busy in business tours and meeting. I was always told by her that i am unwanted and i am an obstacle in her life. When they are together they always fight in the same way as you saw yesterday....As i said i was always alone so probably i don't know what relationship is.. what caring means because i never got one! that's why i am so cold when it comes to people and relationships"

I looked at him as he stared at the sky.

"You will have a beautiful relationship jin" i said with a wide smile.

He chuckled.

"Do you think so?" he raised his eyebrows.

I nodded and showed my teeth.

"Because your heart is pure... and you still care for them(parents)" his eyes sparkled as he heard.

----

I use to visit him at night via the balcony when his parents use to fight, this series continued till his father left for his business tour, after that i stopped. Things were becoming normal like before, i still continued to visit him after school for studies when his and my mother were not there at home.

Few weeks after that,

"Y/N, what are you thinking about, is everything okay" i heard Taehyung when i was scribbling jin's name on the book in the library.

"Ahhh.. nothing tae everything is okay" i said with hesitation.

"You are thinking about jin right?"

"Yeah but how do you know?" i was amazed

"Your book told me" he pointed at the book where i was scribbling.

We chuckled.

"Tell him you that you love him...." i was shocked by his words, i shook my head in no.

"Why?"

"I am afraid of rejection" my face sadden as i said.

"Why you think that you will be rejected?"

"I think he sees me as a friend tae"

"So, a friend cannot love?"

Taehyung placed his hand on my hand and said,"Y/N, i know this is hard, you will feel awkward but believe me that you will feel relax and a answer is always no till you asked for that. I don't know about him but i think he feels comfortable around you and i have seen that. It has already been months you know about each other and i think you should tell your feelings to him. I just said what i felt rest is your decision but yes if i were you i would have told him"

I was looking at taehyung. He was right i should gather strength to tell him because if not now then never. I remembered the words of Jihyo. 'Yes i should go for it' i thought.

After school i was waiting for jin to come.

"Y/N, i need to go somewhere so i cannot come with you today" Jin said with a smile and left.

I walked home alone, i was thinking about what taehyung told me in the library. That day i was not able to visit jin as my mom was at home.

The next day when i was walking with jin i told him that i wanted to talk to him after school at his home.

The whole day during the lectures i was thinking about what to say to jin that i was barely able to concentrate in lectures.

I reached home, changed my clothes wore a cute t-shirt and shorts and as usual went to jin's home.

"Yah, you wanted to talk, what is that about?" he asked in between when we were solving maths sums.

"We can talk after studies" i said gasping as i was out of breathe due to stress.

After our studies i made coffee for us and we sat in his room on his bed as usual.

"Jin"

"Yes?" he answered sipping coffee.

"I don't know how to say this i mean..." *hesitation.

"Yah Y/N since when you started this formality its unlike you..." he chuckled.

I smiled but the next moment i became serious.

"Jin please listen and please listen till the end don't interrupt me in between it is very important arraseo?" i said with a serious tone and he nodded.

"Jin, you remember the day we met?" i asked him with a low tone.

"Yes, the balcony right?" he said after thinking for a while.

"No, it was when i came at your home to give the dinner, we actually did not talked but it was our first meet" i said

"Oh i remember.. "he agreed after thinking about it for sometime.

"Well Jin, i live a very simple life all i have is my family and friends and also i did not had any important person in my life until the day when we first met..." his eyes widen as i said that but i still decided to continue.

"Jin i love you...!, from the day i saw you, from the day i knew about your existences from the day you crossed my heart you were always on my mind...I don't know whether this is right or wrong all i know is that i wanted to be with you. I wanted to be the reason you smile, i wanted to be the reason your heart race, i wanted to be by your side when you feel that you are lonely and all i want is just to be with you without any reason"

He was surprised by my confession he sat upright his eyes were still glued to mine. My heart was beating faster as if it is caged inside and wanted to be free, my throat dried, i was feeling like my stomach got a hole and everything is sinking inside it. I gulped and decided to continue and end this.

"Well jin i know i am not that smart, i am clumsy and messy and i also know that there are tons of girl better than me, pretty than me but i like you and i just cannot shake you out of my mind. Well i know this is too early and we are to young but i still feel that you are the one for me."

I sighted.

"Y/N.."

"Jin i am not finished yet" i interrupted him.

"Jin i don't know what you feel about me, but believe me your existences makes me feel special and happy. I feel that i am the happiest when you are happy, my heart ache when you are sad. It hurts when i see you with other girls and why so? you aren't even mine...!" I smiled and looked down.

"Well thanks for making me feel this way and thanks for making me realize what love is, and yes whatever will be your thoughts i don't care just remember that you will always be my best friend forever and ever"

"I think i need to leave now my eomma will be coming early, see you tomorrow..."

I gave him a wide smile as i left the room. My heart was filled with excitement and it became light as if i poured my heart out. I was smiling like pabo as i left his home.

WHAT HE MUST BE THINKING? DID I WENT TOO OVERBOARD? BUT I PROPOSED HIM... NOW WHAT???

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