Kim quietly stands beside Porchay while taking off his bandages as the younger listens to Vegas' explanations about safety and their plan for the lessons.

He silently takes in how Porchay slightly shivers when he is closing their proximity, how Chay holds his breath while trying hard to act like he isn't bothered. He also is trying to pretend not to notice that Chay is checking out the side of his body which is uncovered by the t-shirt. A little smile is blooming on his face.

Vegas wants to move by teaching them Muay Thai, but he objects. "It's better to teach kickboxing first. It's faster to be taught and good to build basic movement and core."

"Ooohh, does young master Kim want to take part in the teaching?"

Kim shakes his head, goes a little sour when he notices Chay gives a relieved sigh, "I don't know about that, don't want to make a promise I can't keep. I'm too busy and I don't know when I should be back," he says. "But I'll see what I can do."

"So let me get this straight," Macau intervenes, "You guys will personally teach us this? You guys both?" There are sparks of joy and excitement in his voice that makes Porchay smile. When Vegas nods, Macau exclaims, "Oh, nice!"

Vegas scrambles his hair for that and makes Macau smile even brighter. Porchay watches them with a warm gaze.

A gentle brush on his hand sends jolts of electricity and makes him jump a little. Kim. The man is now putting his whole attention on him.

Too close. Can't breathe.

He can smell, expensive soap and sweat. He smells like the forest. Kim is forcing him to breathe him in, taking particles of him inside of Chay's lungs.

"What?" he asks in a whispered voice.

"I'll take you to buy the equipment later," that guy only says that before walking away, leaving Chay with his head still partially in the cloud.
***

Kim finds Chay in the employee dining room later on, munching his food while watching, what he guesses, some Youtube videos. He knows Chay likes to eat here instead of in the family dining room. Sometimes he drags the time to eat just to avoid it. When it becomes unavoidable, he will sit quietly beside Macau. Not a word leaving his lips unless he is asked.

He watched a surveillance video where, after dinner with his father, Chay told Macau that he would have digestion trouble because of how nervous he was. "Eating with family shouldn't be like you're meeting a president. No warmth in it," he grumbled. "I can't even taste the food!"

"Well, that's my uncle for you! Maybe it's because he is old. People in the old days are kind of like that, stiff as a board."

"How about your father?"

Macau gives a mocking chuckle. "Same devil different method. If my uncle likes to give annoying lectures with that scary smile, my father likes to give mockery and harsh words."

Chay shook his head. "No wonder you guys are like that. I wouldn't trade my hia for all of this," he points to his surroundings. "Even if it means I have to live a different life for him, that's ok. That is what you do for the people you love."

"Well, it doesn't mean we don't love each other. I love my brother to death. He might come as cold to anyone, but he isn't with me. In this case, my hia is like your hia. He is good to me, and always takes care of me. He is too overprotective for his own good. He shoulders everything on his own, I hate that but I can't do anything, yet. "

That was when his name came up, surprisingly. Kim couldn't believe his ears.

"I wonder how Kim was when he was a child. I heard from Phi Kinn, that they lost their mother when Kim was very young. With a father like that ...," Chay didn't go on. He shook his head.

He wanted to say, there was no love, Kim bet. And to some degree it was true. To Korn, love is honor and responsibility. You have to uphold those and become useful to the family.

"Phi Kim wasn't like any other kid. When Phi Khun became like that, Phi Kim was about ... 6 years old? 7? Then Phi Kinn becomes the heir. They need a shadow leader, of course. Phi Kim had to step up. After that, he joined the training and completed it at 10 years old. He joined a mission at 12. My brother said he never argued or sulked. He just did it, become one of the best in it, all without a word."

Chay didn't say anything. Kim had to switch to another camera to see his face. What he saw clenched his heart. Chay looked so sad that it felt like he was heartbroken all over again.

"Sometimes when I heard this kind of thing of him, even after all he did to me, I only wish he was happy. Even if it isn't with me. Of all the people in the world, I think he deserves it the most."

Macau leaned to him, whispering something Kim could hear. Whatever it was, it made Chay smile even though there was still a hint of sadness on his face.

For the nth time, Kim felt jealousy was burning him alive. It was when he decided to bargain with his father. For he realized then, that without Chay, he probably would never be whole.

The servant who serves the food almost has a heartache when he sees who he served. He bows deep before serving, carefully and neatly putting food on Kim's tray who doesn't even bother to pick.

He thinks carefully of what he is going to say to Chay but decides probably will be best if he doesn't say anything. It might upset Chay. It's not a good thing to push boundaries now. Just enjoy the moment, he gotta be with Chay.

He puts his tray carefully before he sits opposite Chay, who takes time from watching to see who it is. He doesn't say anything. Not even a spiteful remark.

Chay watches how Kim plays with his food, not really eating it. It somehow annoys him. He gives in to his urges and says, "If you have taken that much food, you better eat it properly. There are so many people starving in this world."

Kim smiles. "Okay," he replies and eats his food with different ferocity until there is no more food in his tray.

They stay like that in silence: Chay is watching his videos and Kim is watching Chay.

Someone is retrieving the trays and asking Kim what he would like to drink. He ordered black coffee. He usually doesn't like the bitter taste, but this past year changed his taste buds. "Chay," he calls, his voice is so soft, there are no edges in it. It almost sounds endearing.

He's asking what Chay wants without actually doing it and it looks like Chay knows because then Chay looks at the servant and shakes his head. He already wants to vomit because of nervousness. He wishes Kim didn't look at him like that, with that much intensity and around the clock. Yes, he can pretend he isn't bothered but he doesn't think putting anything in his mouth is a wise idea at the moment.

Why is this guy can't leave him alone?

"Bring cola with ice and cold water," Kim says to the servant, and after thinking for a second, adding, "And popcorn."

The servant bows and leaves them alone again.

It's so quiet.

Chay wonders why it's so quiet here. It usually isn't. The dining room and cafeteria's kitchen for employees is open until midnight and it's never quiet. There are always people who hang out here, even well past midnight. Just enjoy something from the vending machine, free-flow coffee, and cup noodles. Anything that they could make themselves.

Chay knows because he sometimes woke up from his nightmare and was unable to sleep again, so he hung out here to chat with Arm, Pol, or someone else. Everyone is so welcoming to him, although they still treat him like one of the young masters. Something he can't get used to.

Chay looks up from his phone and inspects the surroundings. There is nobody there except the two of them and the dining hall employees. Chay looks at Kim and wonders if that guy is the reason why it is empty.

Of course, it is. Look, who wants to eat with their boss? Especially one like Kim. His silence is heavy.

Chay surprisingly enjoys the popcorn, the cola, and the water. The caps are already opened by Kim. It is almost midnight when he sees the clock and his battery is already in 3% counts so he decides to call it a day. He walks silently, with Kim on his toes, after bowing to thank the servants who stay passed their hours because of them. He feels sorry, he didn't know. If he did, he probably would be in his room at 10 p.m.

Chay can't hear or see Kim walking behind him, but he can feel him. There are always those goosebumps whenever he nears.

The road to his room seems longer, but the atmosphere isn't that bad.
***

Ps: I'm sorry, I posted unedited chapter 8 as chapter 7.