CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

When Reagan headed to bed, she was hunched over from too much food and she was pleasantly lightheaded.

Corbyn and Zach ended up puking before retreating to their tents because they took swigs of the bottom-shelf Brandy Logan got from the convenience store while she only took one sip and decided to never touch it again.

But the single sip made her warm and contented. Daniel was yawning continuously by the time midnight rolled around and they were sent to their tents by Jonah, so Reagan was ready for bed much earlier than she had wanted and she was pumped with too much energy to be able to rest.

Being the only girl, she had the privilege of having an entire tent to herself while the rest of the boys shared the other three they brought along. Faintly, she could hear their snoring through the flimsy plastic of her tent and she frowned, feeling a sense of loneliness creep up on her.

Despite the fact that she could tell anyone that minutes ago, she was on cloud nine, she was feeling lonely moments afterwards. It was ridiculous because it hasn't been an hour since she's been to her tent and her friends were sleeping a few feet from her, but the realization that they were leaving hung heavy on her chest.

By the time it was almost two in the morning, she was fully sober, and she has admitted to herself that she was going to have to face another sleepless night despite the fact that she hasn't slept for over thirty-six hours.

So she sat up, ignoring the clicking of her bones and the indents of the rocks that was digging onto her back, and took a second to appreciate the faint moonlight before walking out of her tent.

And it took her another moment but when she walked to the near-edge of the cliff, she recognized a silhouette already sat on there on the fallen tree trunk.

"Jack?"

He looked up and Reagan's breath, as always, got caught in her throat.

"You're up," He said, moving over and patting the spot beside him, and Reagan's chest almost hurt.

"So are you," She quipped back and sat beside him, the feeling of his warmth at her side simultaneously feeling surprising yet too familiar.

"Yeah," He chuckled, ""After more than a day of no sleep, I still can't sleep."

Reagan hummed, "Same."

A beat of silence passed and Reagan took notice of how bright the moonlight was the night. The river's water was saturated in its light and she could almost count the Redwoods from how clear it was.

Jack let another second pass before he asked, "So what's your reason?"

"Hm?"

"Usually," He continued as they both still kept their eyes trained towards the valley below, "There's a reason why someone stays awake at night. What's your reason?"

Reagan raised an eyebrow, "What's yours?"

Jack chucked, "I asked first."

A semblance of a smile twitched on her lips, but didn't answer, and just watched the way the trees swayed and she listened at how brilliantly clear the rushing water sounded.

"Reagan," He sighed, his voice sounding too solemn and sincere that the fact that he used her first name didn't even faze her, "You can talk to me about anything. I'm your friend, remember? You can trust me despite... despite everything."

Reagan cringed at his words. She knew he had the best intentions but having her unrequited feelings thrown at her didn't make the knots in her chest hurt any less.

"Okay?" She said unsurely, not knowing what answer Jack wanted out of her, because she didn't know what to answer herself.

She didn't think she could tell him even if she did have the words. She was sad that they were going to leave. She was sad that the best night of her life was spent with people who weren't going to stay. She was sad that the boy she liked was sat next to her in front of the most beautiful scene in all of Oregon but it reminded her so much of the night he told her he didn't like her back.

Before she could get too lost in her own thoughts, Jack spoke up.

"How you holding up with," He coughed lowly, "With the whole Daniel thing?"

The thoughts running in her head stopped dead.

"Daniel thing?" She asked, thinking she heard him wrong.

"With him and... Maria," He said slowly, sounding like he was testing out the words on his tongue.

Reagan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "I'm excited about it, why?"

She didn't need to glance at Jack to recognize his shock. He looked at her, wide-eyed, "You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?" She frowned in confusion and an uncomfortable second of silence drew out between them before Jack spoke up again.

"'Cause I know it sucks," He said quietly, almost in a whisper, "Having someone you have feelings for like your best friend instead. It's not the best feeling in the world."

Reagan's head drew a blank for ten entire seconds before she turned in her seat and looked at Jack, "Did you think I have feelings for Daniel?"

He was hunched over in his seat, bags under his eyes, and when he glanced back at her, he looked more confused than she felt.

"Don't you?" He swallowed, "I saw you guys at the living room."

"At the living--" Reagan echoed incredulously, Logan's voice telling her to ask about Jack's comment on Daniel's arm around her shoulders ringing in her head, "What are you on about?"

"What are you on about? I thought we already talk about this last night!"

Jack was sat upright now and if Reagan was the least bit wrong about being sober moment ago, she was definitely sober now.

"Do you even remember what we talked about last night?" She asked, entirely confused.

Jack must've realized their friends were sleeping only feet away from them the same time she did because when he spoke up again, his voice was quiet.

"We talked about how we should stay friends."

"No we didn't," She frowned, "You begged that we should stay as just friends."

"I can't beg you to like me back. Is asking you to be my friend too much to ask now too?"

Reagan's brain short-circuited the moment she heard what he said and paused.

"You're an idiot," She breathed out, too many thoughts and too many emotions overwhelming her all at once, "You are such an idiot."

Jack scoffed, pushing himself off his seat, "I know that. Thanks for rubbing it in."

And in a moment of déjà vu, except their roles were reversed this time, Reagan tugged him back down by the wrist and he tumbled over himself, sitting closer to Reagan than he did before.

"Did you think I like Daniel?" She asked, "Answer me this. No more swallowing words before you could say them, just answer me point-blank."

He frowned at her.

"Yes," He paused. Then, "Don't you?"

"No," She shook her head, "Never did."

"You sure looked like you did," He sighed, "Came home after the waterfalls to have you ignoring me and giving all of your attention to him."

Reagan felt another shot of anger at her chest, "That's 'cause you were ignoring me."

"When I pulled back, after almost kissing you, you stayed so far from me like I had a plague. What was I supposed to think?" He shot back, voice rising.

"You were supposed to think that I was surprised and that if you tried to kiss me again, I wouldn't have pulled back!"

Jack recoiled in what look like absolute shock and Reagan wanted to take back her words because what if she misread the entire situation wrong? What if this was the conversation that was going to make their entire relationship irreparable?

But then, he asked, "Do you like me?"

"Yes," She said, sucking up all the hesitation because it was far too late to turn back. Jack looked like a deer caught in the headlights but while she still had a shred of dignity and composure, she forced herself to ask, "Do you like me back?"

Jack didn't answer. He stared back at her, wide eyed, mouth slightly agape, and Reagan's heart was knocking against her ribcage.

Then suddenly, he let out a small laugh under his breath. A disbelieving, surprised laugh, and Reagan didn't know what to make of it until Jack swung his leg over the tree stump so he could face her fully, and she complied too easily when he tugged her closer to him.

She was in between his outstretched legs, his hand warm of the side of her neck, and Reagan felt like she was touching live wire.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Reagan Wallace," He shook his head, smile bright on lips, "I do. I do like you. More than I could ever tell you."

His voice softened at the sincerity of his words and his thumb was resting on her cheek, his eyes shining from what looked like joy and relief, but Reagan had to say it.

She remembered the night he apologized in the car, the waterfall, the rooftop, the highway, and she sighed.

"Stop doing this," She said, almost defeatedly, and she felt the way he tensed, "Don't lead me on please. If you're not gonna end up kissing me, then don't make me think you will at all."

Jack's smile only grew wider at her words, eyes shining, and he grinned, "Wouldn't dream of it."

So he pulled her closer, nose bumping her cheek, and Reagan finally discovered what it felt like to kiss Jack Avery for the first time.

He smiled against her lips, and Reagan wished that if she had one thing she could never forget, she hoped it was that.

+

When she was fourteen, Reagan tried bungee jumping over a bridge.

She's never been afraid of heights but when she peered over the edge of the railings, the water below was rushing aggressively and wildly. She felt light-headed and terrified but she wanted nothing more than to jump.

Her heart lodged to her throat in fear as she did, heartbeat desperate against her chest, but it was indisputably the best feeling in the world.

It was terrifying and exhilarating and the most breathtaking thing she's seen at fourteen.

She was sixteen when she kissed Jack and jumping over a bridge was the closest thing she could relate to how it felt.

HI THIS IS JUL THE ONE WHO'S BEEN ABSENT FOR A WEEK AND WILL BE ABSENT FOR ONE MORE im sorry guys but school just started and between moving and requirements, im having a hard time balancing everything :( i wont get internet until thursday (boarding school probs) but i'll respond to all of your comments then!!! Please dont think i appreciate it any less. I'm about to leave in an hour and i was just rushing to get this up :-( i love you guys and you taking your time to show your appreciation/support means the world to me

i really need cheering up too (moving is difficult for my v sensitive emotions) and i'd appreciate kind words a lot

to shannen, MY NOTIFS BLEW UP AND I KNEW 100% IT WAS BC OF YOU AND IM NOT WRONG AND ILYSM I'LL PARTICIPATE IN MIDNIGHT SPAMS W SHANNEN PROMISE

i noticed ive got loads of new readers over my mini hiatus and it made me so happy ily friends!!!! thank you for taking a chance on this story

the thing i'm hyped about tho omg HAIZ (FAV AUTHOR OF MY FAV WDW BOOK) INVITED ME TO COWRITE A STORY WITH HER (JFC WTHNSKSKSSK IKR IM SHOCKED AND FLATTERED TO HELL AND BACK TOO) AND PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR THAT ❤

I'll be here on thursday!!! Until then, here's the rushed as fuck chapter of them finally kissing yay

edit: this mustve been confusing i rushed this sm. next chapter will be jack's pov of the night on the roof (chapter xxii) so hopefully it'll make more sense why he's confusing as hell to reagan

Thank you for your patience with me and this story. I hope you'll have an amazing week!