To: My minions

From: Michael Bell

Can you believe this- this stupidity? Pappa and Momma are beyond angry with me, because I comprehend more things than they could ever do. Of course, I completely understand that they're not mad, they're simply frustrated. Frustrated with themselves. I mean, how'd you feel if a little kid that's only six years old knows much more than you'll ever be able to? So, I understand, like I said before. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm very upset with them.

Take today for an example: Momma was in a deep quarrel with Pappa, and I know it's none of my business since quarrels are normal and supposedly healthy in a relationship, specially in marriage. The problem was that I intervened. Betwixt them, I stood looking at them both, studying their body language and all. Scrutinizing every aspect of them from head to toe. Both of them had fake smiles and flushed faces, of course the smile was just for me not to know what's really going on. Are they that dim? Do they not know to this point my capacity in general? I shake my head as if scolding a child and tell Momma and Pappa to sit down.

As little children they obey and with bemused expressions they stare at me. Then, I explained to them the obvious solution for this problem or better yet said: situation. Both of them had their mouths slightly open and then Pappa out of nowhere yells: "Don't try to be a smartass! We're the adults and you're just a kid, so stay out of this!" Momma looked away biting her lip. (An evident giveaway that she's going to cry) She voiced naught a word.

"Pappa, I'm sorry to say this but I'm just trying to help. If you could only see this through my eyes you'd understand." I thought this ought to make them comprehend and rationalize of the whole situation, make them more tranquil. But of course, that was yet another mistake.

Momma and Pappa looked redder than tomato sauce. She abruptly got up and while pointing her finger at me, she bellowed, "Why can't you be like the others! I wish you were born normal. Why? Why us?" She sat down again, face planted in her palms, sobbing while Pappa rubbed her back, mentioning soothing words.

I remember every word and every syllable was a dagger to me. You see, my Pappa can say anything he desires, but Momma? Now she's a whole different story. And right now, hot stupid tears are streaming down my face and pain is clutching and choking me inside, even though in reality I know it's all in my mind.

My own Momma... This is beyond any hurt I'd ever felt, beyond anything you'd imagine a kid my age is feeling. Her words were just a clear reminder of what I don't want to be reminded of. I always feel awefully like an outsider; like no matter where I go, I never will belong anywhere. And now I can't even fit in with my own parents. Why must I be born like this?

-Farewell, I cannot continue no more...

May 27, 2002