Tom <3
Pairing: SyndiSparklez (Syndicate x Sparklez)
I didn't really like this one that much but I decided to post it anyways because I love you guys and you deserve content everyday for being so amazing <3 hope you like it anyway!
~
This is wrong, right? This is definitely wrong. This is so wrong it makes me guilty just thinking of it. God what would the others think if they saw me doing this? They'd be disgusted, ultimately horrified. They would never look at me the same way ever again.

But really, how can I care when Tom Syndicate is pinning me against the wall of a closet and kissing every inch of my bare skin? It's proved to be impossible.

Really I've never found much to do in these situations. Except stand still and wait for him to finish whatever the heck he plans to do with me. Sometimes I kiss back, sometimes I just stay frozen while gasping like a dying fish. It depends on what mood I'm in. A bad mood, I typically kiss back, because it releases a lot of stress and it feels nice. Every other mood I'm in, I'm completely flustered or guilty. Today it's guilty.

We've been doing this for weeks now. A few times a week Tom will randomly show up wherever I am and shove me against something (usually inside closets or rooms with locked doors) and he'll make out with me and feel me up for about an hour. It's never anything more than just kissing and touching, but it still feels really wrong to me. I mean, I'm kissing my best friend. And I'm straight. And he's straight.

I don't know what to do about this. I've tried talking to him about it before, but he refuses to even discuss it. Even if we're alone, he refuses. The whole time we do these things, he's silent. The first time he did it, I was completely shocked. It just happened so quickly. One minute I was fixing up my reactor and he was telling me about his terrible day, and then the next he's kissing me. I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to hurt him, because at the time I just thought it was a way of him telling me he was gay. But he never even said anything after he finished kissing me. He just turned around and left. I was so confused.

Now we do it without questions. Without talking or really being ourselves. I want to ask why he does this. I want to ask if he likes me or loves me or wants to be with me. Because suddenly the idea didn't seem so weird to me. Being with Tom. The idea made me feel a bit warm inside...that's good, right? Of course it's good. Being with Tom sounds amazing.
I need to ask him. This has gone on far too long without explanation and I can't deal with this anymore without one.
He's currently kissing my jawline right now, placing light soft kisses all along it. I guess now is a good time, since he's not attacking my lips.

"Tom..." I meant for his name to sound confrontational, but ended up turning into a moan.

He paid no attention to me. My neck was the only thing worth paying attention to for him at the moment.

"Tom." It sounded more stern this time. He stopped kissing me for a moment, but it was way too dark in the closet to see what expression he was wearing. An annoyed one I'm guessing.

"What?" he asked, his voice thick and low. It sounded kind of scratchy too.

"We...we need to talk about this."

The dark closet was silent except for our breathing, which was loud and heavy. Kissing really brings up your heart rate...

"We don't," he answered simply.

My shoulders slumped. I thought maybe, just maybe, he'd want to finally discuss it. He wants nothing of the sort.
"We do. I've been avoiding this question ever since that day you pinned me against my reactor and kissed me for a solid hour. I can't just pretend this isn't happening."

"Why can't you?" he asked irritated.

"Because I'm straight! Because your straight! I've seen you go on dates with girls since you've been doing this! You brag to Tucker all the time how many girls you've slept with! Why are you even doing this to me?"

I heard him scoff. "You act like I've raped you or something. Don't act like an innocent victim. You like it too."

"Yeah I do like it, Tom. I think I like you. But it's...it's so...confusing when you ignore me completely after these things, like they didn't even happen. I want to acknowledge them and remember them and share them with you...it's like you don't even want to remember-"

"I don't want to remember," he seethed.

The words burned me. So that's it? He just uses me for a good time? Is that all there is to it, I'm just a throw away condom to him? I felt angry tears prick at my eyes. I can't believe I actually thought this was something. I'm so stupid. I'm so naive and stupid.

"Forgive me then. I'm didn't know I was just another one of your stupid whores." I shoved past him and opened the closet. The fresh air felt nice, but I didn't acknowledge it. I only listened to the quiet shattering of my heart and the choked sobs I was unsuccessfully trying to hold back. I'm crying over nothing. He's nothing to cry about.

I ran out of Decs office, hastily wiping away tears. This day started out so well. Dec wanted me to help clean his office up and in return he'd give me a few golden apples. And then Tom came in and ruined everything. Maybe I shouldn't have asked questions. He wouldn't have gotten angry and he wouldn't have said that.

But it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I'm just a whore in his eyes. I don't matter to him.

~
"Jordan? Are you in there?"

I stayed silent. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to lay in bed and play sudoku. And that's all I've been doing for the last two days. But sudoku is pretty fun. You know, when you're trying your hardest to forget something and you need a distraction.

"Jordan I know you're in there. You aren't anywhere else in this town, because I've checked everywhere else. Open the door."

"Sonja I don't want to talk. Please just leave." She came here yesterday, but left after I didn't answer her. She's persistent.

"Jordan what's wrong? You never stay cooped up in your room. You're always working on that stupid reactor."
I miss working on my stupid reactor. But I like my bed more. It's soft, and dreaming usually takes my mind off Tom.

Ugh. Tom.

"Maybe I just like my bed. Ever thought of that?"

I heard her sigh. "Look, I don't want to be a nosy bitch or anything, but I just want you to know we're all kinda worried about you. Tom especially. He's acting really sad without you around to pick on." I heard her laugh.

I almost snorted. Yeah right. He could care less.

"Thanks Sonja, but I really just want to be alone." No, what I really want is for Tom to tell me I'm his everything and that he wants to be with me forever and ever. But that's not gonna happen.

"Okay...I'll see you around I guess."

"See ya..."

I listened as her footsteps faded away, down the stairs of my tower, and then out the doors. Now I'm alone again.
I wish Tom was mine, so I could snuggle with him at night when I felt like this.

~

"Sparklez. Sparklez. Sparklez wake the hell up." Something shook me by the arm and I pried my eyes open to see who it was.

Tom Syndicate was sitting on the end of my bed. I would have screamed, yelled, punched him, threw a chair at his stupid head at any other given time. But just the way he was sitting was perfect. He was sitting cross legged with his hands in his lap, the moonlight from my open window radiating off of his skin. And then I noticed his hair.

"Why...why do you have purple hair?"

He rolled his eyes at my question. "I'll get to that, but right now I gotta say something I've been wanting to say for the last two days. And I hope you're ready for it because I'm sure as hell not." His voice still sounded thick and scratchy.

"...okay." I sat up so I could hear him better. When I made eye contact with him, he looked away immediately. What the heck is up with him?

I noticed other things too. His face looked like he hadn't shaved in awhile. He had grey circles under his eyes. He was wearing a huge hoodie and some yoga pants when it was literally eighty degrees outside. Something's up with him.
I watched him take in a large breath before he started speaking. "Um...Sparklez I didn't mean...I really..." He paused and squinted, like he was trying to remember something. And then he stopped speaking altogether. He just sat there and stared at the covers of my bed.

"Just say it. You woke me up way too late to just sit here and stare." I was looking at him straight in the eyes, but he still wouldn't look at me.

"You aren't a whore. You aren't a throw away condom. You're...you're special to me. I have never felt like this with anyone and it scares the shit out of me that every time I see you, I just want to kiss you and make you happy. And that day when we first started doing that stuff...I was trying to get out the words that I cared about you and...it just went to shit. I wanted to forget the whole thing the next day, but then you asked me about it...I didn't know what else to do besides ignore it. But I couldn't ignore it because god I want you so much all the time and it's so hard to just switch off those feelings. Leading you on really messed me up so much that sometimes I couldn't sleep because of the absolute guilt I felt. I've lost so much damn sleep in the last two days. God I'm exhausted..." He paused to rub the sleep from his eyes. He did look really tired.

He looked at me expectantly, but I didn't know what to say to him. "That's...really really-...I'm glad you actually told me the truth. Thought that still doesn't really explain the whole purple hair thing..." I murmured, trying to hold back my smile.

"I dyed it because I thought maybe you'd see how much I'm willing to do for you just to make you smile..." He looked at me then. He looked so tired and hopeless, like he was waiting for the moment when I throw something at him and tell him to get out of my house.

"Tom. That's so sweet."

"Yeah sure it's sweet, but I just want to know if you still hate my guts. Do you know how hard it was to get up to your damn window without an angel ring? I tried that whole arrow climbing thing you see in the movies but it uh...didn't really work out that well." He held up his arm, where a large tear in his hoodie all the way down to his elbow. I saw the blood trickling down the huge gash in his arm and I gasped.

"Tom why did you do that?!" I held his arm and moved it closer to the window so I could see it better. It looked horrible. He needs stitches.

"Er...because I wanted to impress you and I thought it would make me look totally badass? Yeah that's a good reason." He grinned shyly.

I blushed and rolled my eyes. "You're an idiot."

"Yeah I know...you think you could stitch me up real quick? I think I'm going into shock because I can't feel my arm anymore." He acted so causal, meanwhile I was freaking out.

"Oh my god Tom you need an actual doctor. Can you move your shoulder?" It looks so bad. I've never seen a gash this huge. The blood is literally pouring from his arm. It's making me dizzy.

"Let me check." He stared at his right shoulder for a while, before shaking his head. "Nope. Is that bad?"

"Yes it's bad! Come on, we're going to Decs right now." I grabbed a blanket from my bed and wrapped it around him. I heard once before that wrapping a blanket around someone when they go into shock helps them somehow.

"Nooo...I wanna take a nap. And you still haven't said anything yet on what you think."

"Tom you're bleeding to death and you want to know about my feelings for you?"

"Yeah. You gonna tell me?"

"I like you. I really really like you. Now will you come with me to Decs?"

"Will you hold my hand while he stitches me up?" He gave me a lop-sided grin and puppy dog eyes, like it would convince me to agree with his terms. Which it did.

"Yeah sure..."

"...Will you sit on my lap?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"No! That's weird!" I'm not sitting on his lap in front of Dec! Dec doesn't even know I'm gay!

Wait. I am gay right? Of course I am, I literally just confessed to a guy that I liked him. If that doesn't scream gay, then I don't know what does.

"Then I'm not going." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, causing a few droplets of blood to fall on and stain the comforter of my bed. I gagged and ripped my eyes away from it, putting a hand over my mouth so I wouldn't throw up on my bed.

"Tom please. I will sit on your lap later but right now I need you to go get help, you don't know how much blood makes me sick and you're getting it all over my bed."

"Aw I'm sorry Sparkley dick. I'll get ya some new sheets later, I promise. But I think I might just do the stitching myself if you got the stuff for it. Saves old Dec a bunch of trouble."

"Oh yeah? Since when is the great Tom Syndicate considerate of people?" He just wants an excuse to avoid getting stitches. He's such a little kid. A cute obnoxious little kid.

"Since I fell in love with a sensitive little nerd named Sparklez."

"L-Love?!" I gasped. I knew he liked me, but love?! I'm not ready for that stuff yet! I just found out I was gay!

He rolled his eyes at my reaction. "Yeah love, you weirdo. I wanna be with you forever and ever. You're my everything."
Okay, this is getting too coincidental. I know I've heard the things he's said before, but they were in my head. Like when I compared myself to a throw away condom and I remember thinking to myself yesterday I wanted Tom to say I was his everything and that he wanted to be with me forever and ever.

"Is there a certain god who's been telling you what I've been thinking over the past few days?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

I watched him pale and grin guiltily. "Er...maybe."

"Tom! My thoughts are private! What else did he tell you?!" Oh my god, if Dianite told him about the snuggling thing I-

"I really want to snuggle with you when I'm upset too." He said the confession quietly, like he was scared someone might hear. Or maybe he was scared I'd get mad at him. Aw.

"...that's really sweet, but I'm still mad."

"Hey! I'm kinda mad you called me an obnoxious kid a few minutes ago..."

He told him that too?! "Dianite stop reading my mind!" I yelled at the ceiling.

I heard the gods deep chuckle. "I am only trying to fix you both. Would it make you less angry if I were to tell you Toms thoughts?"

And suddenly my frown turned into a smirk as I looked at the now terrified Tom, shaking his head like a mad man. "No way! Dianite if you say anything-"

"He thinks you look very sexy with bed hair, and that your eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue he's ever seen. I should also mention a few moments ago he received an erection when your fingers brushed against his neck."

"...Oh." Well, what do I say to that? I never knew someone could get so turned on by my touch...it's actually kind of flattering.

"My life is ruined." Tom groaned and covered his now blushing face. I half-gagged when I saw his bleeding arm again, a few more droplets landing on his pants. If he doesn't stitch that up soon, I'm gonna hurl.

"Tom, why don't you go stitch your wound? You're making the love of your life ill with your injury."

"Oh yeah! My bad Sparkley pants. Where's your first aid stuff?" I watched him tighten the blanket I gave him around his shoulders, an adorably innocent smile on his lips.

"It's over there, but please don't get anymore blood on my bed. I love you, but I can't take it." I bit my tongue instantly when I said the words. Love. I said love. Did I have a right to? Of course I did! He said I love you before I did!

"Love hm?" His smile grew ten sizes.

I growled and shoved him off the bed. "Stitch up your stupid arm, you jerk."

"Will you still hold my hand while I do it?" He gave me puppy dog eyes, and I sighed.

"Yes I'll hold your hand. Though I might pass out during the stitching, so expect that."

He planted a small kiss on my cheek. "Thank you Sparklez."
~~~~~~~
Hnnngggg I need one shot ideassssss you guys should like totally send me ideas and stuff :3 just sayin'
I have a few ideas so far but I just feel like they're kinda boring :p Are there any song fics you guys would like me to do? I know most of you liked the Adele one, I could do more like that if you wanted me to. Tell me in the comments! Don't be afraid to share your ideas! :D

Thanks!

- Lee