Jordan's p.o.v.

"Chloroform. Why would he use chloroform? It's so...medieval. No one uses these tactics anymore to fight, so why would the most powerful evil in the universe?" Matt examined the small wet towel on the steps of our house, still fresh from the attack that happened just moments ago. I was thinking the same thing. Why would Botan use something so human?

Phil piped up immediately. "I have an idea. He used a human body to disguise himself, a human body to get through our dark magic barrier spells, and a human body to attack other humans. It seems logical that he's used a human so we wouldn't detect him. Humans can get through almost anything we cast. And chloroform is simple easy and quick, and it was without the screaming and detection. He's thought about this thoroughly...damnit."

"But why didn't he kill Tom?" I asked, still severely confused. "Why didn't he hurt him?" He was after everything I loved, wasn't he? He had the perfect opportunity to kill Tom, so why didn't he?

I felt Toms hand curl around mine tighter. It must have scared him, being attacked by your own friend that you trusted. That makes twice that this has happened. I looked up at him to see if he was okay, but he wasn't showing anything. Just a blank expression. I should talk to him later...

"I believe his main focus is the child. But why? Why does he want the child so badly? Tom means more to you than Rosie, doesn't he?" Phil asked, completely oblivious to the fact that he was making me choose between the two things I loved the most in my life.

"I mean...I love both of them equally. But I guess since I've known Tom longer...he would be more valuable to me." But Rosie's valuable to me too. I love her so much, and I've only known her for such a short time. I clutched her closer to me at the thought of having to ever choose. I couldn't choose. I would never. I love them both.

I could see Matt trying to make another observation. "Maybe...she has what he wants specifically? God quintessence? Because if she does have equal traits to Jordan, then she must have some of it. Ianite gave him most of hers."

"Yes!" Phil exclaimed. "That could be it, god quintessence! Wait...but that leads us to another question. Why didn't he go after Jordan first? Would he not have the most god quintessence?"

He did go for Rosie first. He was screaming at me to give her to him and he was grabbing for her like a maniac, which he was maniac, but a super super super maniac. Yeah that sounds okay.

Phil's eyes lit up with another theory. "Taking the child first would make Jordan more vulnerable to his emotions, and then it would give Botan the chance to-"

Tom interrupted him. "I know you guys are just trying to help us, but you're bumming the hell out of us both. We need sleep and my family needs to be taken care of. If we aren't safe here, just tell us. We'll go far off and we'll find somewhere safer. We just can't live like this anymore."

He sounded so tired, so sick of everything. I wanted to comfort him and tell him eventually, we will be safe. It may take us years, but at least we'll still be a family. I don't want to see him so defeated like this anymore.

Both of them immediately shoved the doubt down our throats.

"No no! Don't leave, we can help we promise!"

"Just give us some time to discuss it over with Tom when he gets back from Urulu, and then we-"

"We don't have time." Tom interrupted him. "He could've killed us all today and I don't think you're really thinking about that. Plus we need supplies to live on if we even do stay here. Rosie needs diapers and baby food. We need food, meds, clothes. We left everything we needed behind. So you need to tell me right now, are we safe or is Botan gonna come crashing into our home again and try to murder our daughter?"

"You are safe. We will cast more barrier spells to keep out any lively creatures or things that come by. He won't be back here again, I swear to you. Trust us, this is the safest place you can be," Matt said reassuringly.

"What about supplies?" I asked.

"We will get them for you! Don't even worry about it, we will take care of everything! Just make us a list of things you need and we will get right on it." Phil smiled enthusiastically. They must really like us being here if they want us to stay so badly.

I guess we have no choice but to stay.

~

Tom jerked up again from his sleep, the fifth time in a row he had nodded off. He's fighting sleep and it's miserable to watch. I know he's so tired and he just wants to rest. I do too.

"Go to sleep. I'll stay up and watch over things." I knew he wouldn't agree to it though. I've suggested the idea several times now, and he dismisses it immediately.

"No..." He protested weakly.

"Tom please, it'll be fine. Just a few hours, okay? Go to sleep."

He groggily shook his head. "No just...bad things might...hngg..." He was trying so hard to salty awake that his eyes were crossing themselves.

"Shh...go to sleep. I'll be right here and so will Rosie. The wizards are outside and Mots in the other room. It's fine. Go to bed." I pressed down on his chest, and he gradually fell back onto the pillows, finally resting his eyes. Thank god. I was getting worried about him.

Though throughout the night, he mumbled things in his sleep, really disturbing things. I felt bad for listening to them, because I knew he didn't actually mean them. But...they were so weird. Like he was talking to someone he was constantly apologizing to or he was scared of.

It was always some where along the lines of this. "No I didn't want this...stop...it wasn't me..." He would mumble feverishly.

He said a few other things that had me concerned too.
"Take it out...I didn't do anything...please..."

"No no, I didn't mean to...don't..."

"Please it hurts...I'm not a wimp...just take it out..."

I blushed at the last thing he'd said, thinking maybe he was dreaming about sex or something. My mind started thinking scenarios on why he would be having these dreams. Did he actually hate our sex? Did he hate sex in general?

But then he spoke again, quieter this time. "Dianite I'm sorry...it won't happen again I promise..." His body jerked as he said it, like he was trying to twist away from something. His hands suddenly shot up to his stomach and he cried out in pain, even though there was nothing wrong with him. Should I be worried? Of course I should be! He's my husband and he's having a nightmare. A nightmare about Dianite...why would he be dreaming about that? I have a feeling he wouldn't tell me if I asked.

But I could get it out of him another way.

"Tom, why is he doing this to you?" I spoke into his ear quietly. Half of me was expecting him to jolt awake and smack me for trying to manipulate him. The other half was expecting him to stab me out of self defense, because who wouldn't be scared if someone were whispering to you in your sleep? But he did none of those things.

"I failed him again...I didn't mean to...make him stop..." He twisted uncomfortably beneath the sheets, writhing against an unseen discomfort.

"What does he do when you fail him, Tom?" Is he talking about old Dianite or the one here? I know the Dianite that we know now would never do such a thing as to hurt Tom.

But the old one...I couldn't say the same for.

"I don't want it...take it out." He sounded on the verge of tears, gripping his stomach and arching his back.

"Tom, tell me what happens when you fail him. I'll help take it out if you tell me." I have no clue what take it out means, or what the it is. I have a feeling it's something bad.

"Fail me and your gut fails you. Please me and I heal your mistakes." He whispered the words like they were complete agony for him.

The phrase sent a chill down my spine. What does that mean? He punished Tom for failing him by doing what?
"What does he do to you? Please tell me. I want to help you."

His eyes shot open so quickly, it scared me. "He always sharpened it. He knew I failed him even before I got to him. He wouldn't give me a chance to explain, he just shoved it in my gut. He said he'd heal me once I did the next deed he wanted me to do. Why did I feel bad for him when I killed him? Why did I feel guilt? He nearly killed me so many times...he didn't care about me or Nade or the Modesteps...we were just play things to him. I kept a knife under my pillow for years because of him. I was afraid he'd slit my throat when I went to bed..." He put a hand on his stomach, the spot where he was clutching at earlier.

Dianite stabbed him? Actually stabbed him for messing up? What kind of god hurts his champions? His most devote followers? "How come you never told me this? Why didn't you say something about it to us when we were-"

"Jordan you don't understand, he was evil. If I even said a word to you about anything, he would have killed me on the spot. He watched me anywhere I went, all the things I did, I was never alone."

"Well...you're okay now. He's dead and I'm here. I'm really confused though, didn't you say once that Dianite was like a father to you?" I thought he was always infatuated with Dianite, seeing that they both loved chaos and blood and other violent things. I never would have guessed he was doing this to Tom. It's horrible.

He shrugged his shoulders and fiddled nervously with his fingers. "He was...I really really loved him like he was my dad...but he just started getting more evil and more violent. It was scary, the things he wanted me to do for him. He wanted me to kill you once...a bunch of times actually..."

"...did you try?" I asked quietly.

"I didn't have a choice Sparklez. But I failed every time because right when I had an arrow aimed at your head or a knife at your neck, I couldn't do it...you were still my best friend and I didn't want to kill you."

"Did you get punished for it?" I couldn't bare the thought of him getting hurt because of me. Mostly because any thought of something hurting Tom made me sick to my stomach.

"...yeah. But I always made it up to him...the last time I failed him, it was during your search for Ianite. He was so angry I'd never seen him that upset. He said he wouldn't heal me unless...you know..." He hinted at something. I raised an eyebrow at his hinting. I don't know what he's taking about.

"Unless what?"

He swallowed hard and kept playing with his fingers, avoiding my eyes.

"Tom it's okay. Tell me. Unless what?" I put my hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down a little. I haven't seem him this nervous in awhile.
He relaxed a little, finally taking in a few breaths and letting them out. "When we were talking to Furia...don't you remember?" His voice shook noticeably.

"No, tell me." I began to rub small circles in his thigh, still trying to calm him down.

"Sparklez I know you remember. The day...you know...she died."

"...Capsize? Oh...yeah I remember that. Wait, Dianite told you if you didn't rat out Capsize he wouldn't heal you? That's why you did that?" I just thought he'd done it because he hated us and hated me. But he actually did it to stay alive...

"Yes! I didn't think Furia was gonna kill her! I didn't know I'd actually be responsible for my best mates girlfriends death!" He buried his face in his hands.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back up and down gently. "Tom. You weren't responsible. Furia killed her, not you."

"But I-"

"No, you weren't responsible. If I did think you were responsible, I would have killed you by now. I love you and I forgive you for your mistakes. It wasn't your fault..." I whispered softly. He clutched me like it was the end of the world, breathing shallow breaths onto my neck.

"Okay...I know this is off topic but...how are we going to get out of this mess? What's gonna happen if we don't kill Botan? Are we all just gonna die?" He asked hopelessly.

"I'll talk to Gaines soon and see what he can do about the whole dimension thing...hopefully he might know some new things or ideas about getting home. For now lets just not worry about it..." I knew that would be impossible to do though.

But I guess we can at least pretend to be happy for a little while.
~~~