Kelvin couldn't believe what he just did. He felt like an idiot. Ngali-ngali niyang sirain ang gitarang iniwan ni Celine nang umalis ito.

Where did he find the nerve to kiss her? Hindi naman siya nakainom pero bakit bigla niya iyong ginawa? Mukhang nagalit ito dahil sa nangyari. She stormed out of the room and left all her gifts inside his condo.

Hinabol niya ito kanina. He called out her name. He wanted to make things clear. Aamin na siya. Tutal, nandoon na rin naman. Siguro naman ay may ideya na ito sa totoo niyang nararamdaman para rito.

When she stopped running, napatigil din siya.

"Can we talk, please?" he begged.

There was a pained expression on her face when she turned around. Nangingilid na ang luha nito. She obviously didn't like the kiss. And why would she? Iba naman ang gusto nito, hindi siya.

Bakit ba kasi ipinagpipilitan pa rin niya ang sarili niya rito?

"Celine..."

He took one cautious step towards her, pero umiling ito, na para bang sinasabing hindi siya pwedeng lumapit. Wala na siyang nagawa kundi ang hayaan itong umalis.

Bumalik siya sa condo at iniikot ang paningin sa paligid. Kailan pa siya nagkaroon ng karapatan na gawin iyon? He really should know his boundaries. Ang problema, hindi niya kaya.

He acted like a lovesick boyfriend. Iyong effort niya, hindi naman pangkaibigan. And the kiss just blew things out of proportion.

He just couldn't help it. Kapag malapit siya rito, nawawalan sya ng logic. Puso na lamang ang gumagana.

Hindi na niya alam ang gagawin. When Janelle called later that evening, he told her about what happened. Noong una ay kilig na kilig pa ito sa ginawa nya, but when she heard the worry in his voice, she became serious.

"Nabigla siguro 'yon. All this time, akala nya friends lang kayo, tapos bigla mong ginawa 'yon."

"Hindi ko naman sinasadya, e. It just happened," dahilan niya.

"Kahit gaano pa kalakas 'yong urge, you should have stopped yourself from doing it. Baka dahil dyan, masira ang friendship nyo."

"Sira na nga yata," malungkot niyang sabi. "You should have seen the look on her face. That was not the kind of expression I got from any girl that I've kissed before."

"Well, you need to stop treating her like any other girl. Iba sya sa kanila, okay? Iba ang sitwasyon ninyo sa mga past relationships mo. You need to be delicate with her."

He sighed. "What's the use? I don't think she'll ever forgive me for what I did."

"You don't know that."

But he knows Celine. She's the type to weigh in the fault and decide from the gravity of it if she will forgive the person or not. And the kiss was a great offense. Siguradong mahihirapan siyang humingi ng tawad dito.

At napatunayan niya iyon nang tawagan niya ito pagkatapos niyang makipag-usap kay Janelle. She didn't even answer his call. Hindi naman nito ni-reject ang tawag niya. Hinayaan lang nitong mag-ring lang ang phone nito hanggang sa marinig niya ang operator sa kabilang linya.

--

Umuwi si Celine sa kanila kinabukasan. Natatakot kasi siyang puntahan siya ni Kelvin sa boarding house para kausapin. Mas gugustuhin pa niyang makita ang tatay niya kaysa rito.

Halos magdilim ang paningin niya sa galit noong nakaraang gabi. Akala niya'y matino itong kaibigan. But a decent friend wouldn't kiss his friend just because he can. He's dating someone else, for crying out loud. At alam naman nitong may iba siyang gusto. Then what's the kiss for? Try lang? To test the water?

Hindi niya alam kung kaya pa niya itong harapin pagkatapos ng nangyari. It would be really awkward if they see each other again. Pero alam din niyang hindi niya ito maiiwasan habang buhay. What will she do then? Alam niyang mangungulit ito. Ngayon palang ay ramdam na niya. But she hopes that he will give her enough time to at least digest what happened. Gusto rin kasi muna niyang isipin kung ano ba ang logic sa likod ng ginawa nito. Was he drunk that night?

He must have talked to Janelle right after because her friend called her to ask about it. Janelle was serious this time though. Seryoso itong nakinig sa perspective niya, and then her friend calmly explained Kelvin's side.

Hindi raw nito alam ang ginawa nito. He wasn't thinking that time and he read the situation wrong. That made her think. Hindi pa ba niya naipaliwanag ng maayos ang sarili? Noon pa man ay nilinaw na niya rito na hanggang magkaibigan lamang sila. Hindi na nga niya nilalagyan ng malisya ang mga ginagawa nito para sa kanya kahit medyo weird. Ayaw kasi niyang magkailangan sila. And he's already dating someone else.

Lalo tuloy siyang nalito.

--

Naging kapuna-puna na ang pagiging absentminded ni Kelvin. Gaile already took notice and pointed it out, at kahit maayos naman ang pagdadahilan niya, parang iba pa rin ang pakiramdam nito.

He can't tell her what's wrong. Gaile would be hurt for sure and he can't afford to be left behind. Call it selfishness, but at times like this, ayaw niyang mag-isa. He could only compensate for it by being the ideal boyfriend to her, even though somebody else already owns his heart.

Nang sumunod na Linggo, sinubukan ulit niyang mag-reach out kay Celine. Pinuntahan niya ito sa trabaho.

Kagaya ng dati, mukhang masaya pa rin itong kasama si Yuan. She was even laughing when he got there. Nagbago lang ang timpla nito nang makita siya.

She immediately plugged in her earphones and pretended that he doesn't exist. Yuan looked at him for some explanation, but he ignored him. After all, he can't really tell him what's wrong.

It's bad enough that he did what he did. It would be worse if he would rub it in too.

Tumayo siya sa harapan ng cubicle ni Celine. He propped his elbows on top of her monitor. Ultimo pagharang ng kamay sa screen ay ginawa na niya, pero parang wala itong nakikita.

The only indication that she knows he's there is the hint of angry blush on her cheeks. And as if they were thinking of the same thing, she bitbher lower lip, out of the blue, causing him to stare at them. God, he wants to kiss her again.

Napalunok siya.

"Hayaan mo na lang muna," he heard Yuan say.

--

Celine was getting really annoyed. Kanina pa nakatayo si Kelvin sa harapan ng computer niya. Kanina pa ito nagpapapansin. It made her uneasy. She could feel him staring and it's irritating her. Sa lahat ng ayaw niya, ang titigan ang pinaka.

Halos mabingi na siya dahil sa lakas ng sound ng earphones niya. Tinodo niya ang volume to block his voice out.

From her peripheral vision, she saw Yuan stand up. Nilapitan nito si Kelvin. Mukhang inaya nitong lumayo iyong isa dahil maya-maya ay naglakad paalis ang dalawa.

Kinabahan tuloy siya. If Kelvin would tell Yuan about what happened on her birthday, then she would literally kill him. Huwag lamang itong magkamali ng sasabihin at kundi ay tiyak na maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan.

--

Yuan returned a few minues later, alone. Agad niyang inalis ang earphones para tanungin ito kung ano ang nangyari.

"Ayun, umuwi na."

She sighed exasperatedly. "Salamat naman kung gano'n."

"Ano na naman ba kasi ang nangyari?"

"Wala," mabilis niyang sagot.

"Hindi naman sa nanghihimasok ako, ha. I just want to help."

She gave him a tight smile. "Okay lang naman. Kaya ko na 'yon."

"Pero hanggang kailan mo sya hindi kakausapin? Hanggang sa outing natin?"

Napamura siya nang mahina. May lakad nga pala sila sa holy week. And that guy was sponsorin the whole trip.

"Baka hindi na 'ko sumama do'n."

"Gano'n na ba kalala 'yong ginawa nya? Gusto mo, kausapin ko, para tigilan ka na?"

"Nako, huwag na. Aabalahin mo lang ang sarili mo."

"Sayang naman kung hindi ka sasama sa lakad. Kung wala ka do'n, siguro hindi na lang din ako pupunta. Ikaw lang naman ang ipupunta ko do'n."

She tried her best to not appear too giddy. Nakakahiya naman dito kung mahahalata nitong kilig na kilig siya sa sinabi nito.

Nanghihinayang din siya sa bakasyon sana nila. Palawan din 'yon, at libre pa. Hindi na niya kailangang mag-ipon o magtabi ng gagastusin.

"Sige, pag-iisipan ko," sabi na lamang niya rito.

--

Hindi lamang si Yuan ang kumukumbinsi sa kanyang tumuloy sa Palawan. Natunugan kasi ni Janelle na nagdadalawang-isip siyang sumama kaya inis na inis ito nang tumawag sa kanya.

"Hoy, bruha ka! Tumuloy ka sa Palawan, ha!"

"Pag-iisipan ko."

"Tangina, huwag ka ngang drawing! Naka-oo ka na. Everyone's holding you to it!"

Huminga siya nang malalim. "E kasi..."

"O, ano na naman? Kasi nando'n si Kelvin? E, malamang! Hindi naman pwedeng libre nya tayong lahat tapos hindi pala sya kasama!"

"Ayoko nga syang makita," dahilan niya.

"Arte nito. Marami naman tayo. Hindi mo na sya mapapansin. Sasama rin sina Sir Jake. Saka 'yong friends ni Kelvs. Keri na 'yon! Baka nga hindi pa kayo makapag-exchange greetings sa dami natin."

"Ewan ko. Bahala na!"

"Kapag ikaw talaga, hindi pumunta, lagot ka sa 'kin!"

"Pag-iisipan ko nga," pag-uulit niya. Janelle said okay disdainfully before hanging up on her.

Napasabunot siya. Sa weekend na ang alis nila. Kailangan na niyang mag-decide kung titiisin ba niya ang presensya ni Kelvin ng isang linggo o ang galit ni Janelle indefinitely.

Nakahiga na siya at naglalaro sa phone nang may biglang mag-text. The message was from Kelvin. Sinabi na kaagad ni Janelle dito ang napag-usapan nilang dalawa.

Janelle told me. Sige, if you don't want me to be there, then I won't be there. You guys have fun. Sorry ulit. :(