"Kailangan pa talagang mag-makeup?"

Inilayo ni Celine ang kamay ni Janelle na may hawak na brush. Kanina pa naa-amuse si Marlon sa panunuod sa kanila. After the conference call and impromptu confession, Janelle sent Kelvin a message asking him to talk to her. Hindi naman nag-reply si Kelvin kaya ang akala niya ay hindi na tuloy.

But Janelle insisted na pumunta sila. Sasamahan daw siya ng dalawa sa paghihintay. Kapag hindi dumating si Kelvin, e di manunuod na lang sila ng sine.

To make her more nervous, Janelle made her wear a dress and now she's doing her makeup.

"Baka isipin nya, masyado akong nagpapaganda para sa kanya. Ma-misinterpret lang."

Janelle tsk-ed. "Sa dami na ng nangyari, hindi na 'yon mag-a-assume ulit."

"Pa'no kapag hindi sya pumunta?"

"Pupunta 'yon."

"Sure ka?"

Sinamaan siya nito ng tingin.

"Huwag ka ngang nega. Darating sya. Think positive."

Ilang araw nang walang paramdam si Kelvin. Kapag tinatawagan ni Janelle, hindi ito sumasagot. Kapag tini-text, hindi nagri-reply. Ito naman ang umiiwas. Ito naman ang nagtatago. At least now, he knows what it feels like to be put on the spot.

"Huwag nyo 'kong iiwan do'n hanggat wala sya ha. Baka magmukha lang akong tanga kahihintay."

"Darating nga kasi sya. Ang kulit mo!"

At the back of her mind, ayaw niyang magkita sila ni Kelvin. What will she say to him? What will they be like after all this? Can they stay as friends? Sabu nito noong nakaraan, he might stay away for good. Masasaktan sya kapag nangyari 'yon. Importante rin naman sa kanya si Kelvin. But if he stays, then he will just continue hurting because of her.

Ang kumplikado. Kung pwede nga lang mag-start over at alam niyang ganito ang kahihinatnan nila, e di sana hindi na lamang siya sumama sa pagkakape ni Janelle noon.

Pero nandito na, e. Ano nga naman ba ang magagawa niya?

--

Aligaga siya nang makarating sa venue. Alas sais ang usapan. Alas cinco y media pa lang ay nandoon na sila. Tahimik ang lugar dahil kaunti lang ang tao. Janelle insisted that they eat first pero hindi siya makakain. Nanghihinayang na nga siya sa nasa lamesa dahil mukha pa namang masarap at mahal, kaso wala siyang gana.

"Hoy kumain ka. Baka mahimatay ka sa gutom nyan."

"Wala akong gana."

"Kahit itong breadsticks lang ang lantakan mo, o." Iniusog ni Janelle ang maliit na basket ng breadsticks na ibinigay sa kanila kanina habang naghihintay ng order. Kumuha siya ng isa at pinilit ang sariling kainin iyon.

"Handa ka na ba para mamaya?"

"Hindi," agad niyang sagot. "Gusto ko na ngang umuwi, e."

"Gaga ka. Just get it over with already. Kapag pinatagal nyo pa, lalo lang kayong mahihirapan nito."

"E, pa'no naman kung 'di sya magpakita?"

"Magpapakita 'yon. Mas matapang 'yon sa 'yo, 'no."

Pero nang lampas alas sais na at wala pa rin si Kelvin, nagsimula na ring mag-worry si Janelle. Nag-aya na siyang umalis pero sabi nito, bigyan pa raw si Kelvin ng ilang minuto. Janelle sent him a message and told him that they're still waiting.

"Order muna tayo ng desserts habang nag-aantay," sabi nito sa kanya.

--

Hoy, nasaan ka na? Naghihintay kami rito.

Kelvin groaned. Kanina pa siya nakatulala sa kisame. Maghapon na siyang nakahiga, nag-iisip kung pupunta ba o hindi. Ngayon lang siya dinaga nang ganito. Natatakot siyang pumunta. This might end their friendship. Although dahil sa unintentional confession niya, baka wala nang friendship na masisira dahil sira na talaga.

Ilang araw din siyang galit kay Janelle dahil sa ginawa nito. He felt betrayed. But that anger was somehow appeased when he learned that Celine finally agreed to talk to him. Iba nga talagang mamilit si Janelle.

But here lies the problem. After this talk, what will happen to them? Wala na ba talaga? He told Janelle that he might stay away from Celine for good, but that's an empty threat, because he knows that as long as he's in love with her, he could never stay away. And it will be so painful to see her be happy with someone else. He knows that it will slowly kill him. But what can he do?

He feels so helpless. If only it was that easy to love someone else...

Hinihintay ka nya, came another message.

Fuck.

Pinilit niyang bumangon. He dragged himself to the bathroom and took a quick bath. Hindi na sya nag-shave dahil pasado alas sais na rn. Baka mainip ang nga ito sa kahihintay.

When he looked at his phone again, may isa na namang mensahe.

Hoy! Ano na? Mag-text ka man lang kung darating ka o hindi! Ubos na ang pera namin kao-order dito!

Shaking his head in amusement, he typed his reply.

--

"O, pupunta daw."

"Weh?"

Iniharap ni Janelle kay Celine ang phone nito. She saw his message.

Papunta na.

Her breath hitched. So, mag-uusap talaga sila? Parang bigla siyang natakot. Magkakaharap talaga sila ngayong araw. After days of hiding from each other, magkikita na ulit sila.

She was not prepared for this. Akala niya'y makalulusot siya dahil hindi naman nagpaparamdam si Kelvin. This entire time, umaasa siyang madi-delay ang pag-uusap niya.

But as Janelle said, he's braver than she is.

Naghintay sila hanggang 6:30. Janelle was about to text Kelvin again nang makita ito ni Marlon sa hindi kalayuan. Agad iting lumapit nang makita sila.

"Finally!" Janelle exclaimed.

"O, iiwan na namin kayo, ha," Marlon told them. Saka nito hinila si Janelle palabas ng restaurant dahil ayaw pa nitong umalis. Gusto raw nitong makinig sa pag-uusapan nila. She didn't know which is worse: kung iyong may nakapanuod ba o iyong maiwan silang dalawa ni Kelvin.

He sat down quietly. Nilinis ng isang staff ang table nila tapos tinanong kung may o-order-in pa sila. Kelvin muttered 'coffee' and asked if she wants one. Tumango na lamang siya.

Paniguradong mangangasim ang sikmura niya mamaya. Kape plus kaba? Not a very good combination.

Nang dumating ang order, he took his time pouring the sugar and milk. She did the same. Walang may gustong magsalita sa kanilang dalawa.

He looked unshaven. Magulo ang buhok nito na parang madalian lang na sinuklay. Crumpled ang shirt nitong suot. Parang hinugot sa kailaliman ng cabinet. His eyes look heavy. Parang wala pang tulog.

Siguro ay nagmadali lang itong mag-ayos kanina. Maybe he didn't really intend to go, na napilitan lamang ito. Maybe he changed his mind at the very last minute and went anyway.

A part of her wished that he just stayed home.

"Kumain ka na?" mahina niyang tanong. She wasn't sure if he heard her. Nakatulala pa rin kasi ito sa kape nito. Nang ulitin niya ang tanong, a bit louder his time, ay saka lamang ito tumunghay at umiling.

"Gusto mong kumain?"

He shook his head again. Hindi na ulit siya nagsalita pa.

--

She watched him sip his coffee, unsure of what to do next. Paano sila mag-uusap kung hindi man lang ito makatingin sa kanya? The man sitting across her exudes no confidence at all. Naiilang, nahihiya... She never thought that he was capable of feeling those things.

"Sorry," maya-maya ay sambit nito.

"Sorry din," she heard herself say. She wasn't sure why she apologized.

"About the call... I--" He sighed. "I didn't want you to hear that."

Gusto sana niyang mag-sorry ulit, in behalf of her manipulative friend, but she couldn't utter another word.

"I meant it though."

Pabagsak niyang naibaba ang tasa ng kape na iinuman sana niya.

"S-Sorry."

Bumuntong-hininga itong muli.

"You know what, if you're not ready to talk, then it's fine. Sorry if you're pressured into doing this."

"Hindi, okay lang," mabilis niyang sagot. "Kailangan din kasi natin 'to."

They fell silent for a while. Hindi na niya alam ang sunod na sasabihin. Good thing that he was thinking about it too and decided to just lay it all on the table.

"So, what now? Are we parting ways?"

"Hindi ko alam. Hindi ba pwedeng bumalik na lang tayo sa dati?"

He shook his head. "I don't think that's possible."

Sumimangot siya. "So ganito na lang?"

"Celine, I can't be your friend anymore. I want to, believe me, but I don't think na makakatagal ako ng ganoon. After a few years, when I'm finally over you, maybe we could be friends again."

That hurt, but she didn't say it out loud.

"Wala na ba talagang ibang paraan?" Can't they salvage what's left of their friendship?

"Wala."

"Kahit ano?"

He sighed. "No, I don't think so. Unless you'll give me an equal chance, there's nothing left to do but to part ways."

"C-Chance?"

"You know that we can't be friends anymore, because I have feelings for you. If I will stay, then I won't stay as your friend. You know I want something more than friendship."

Parang umiepekto na ang kape sa tiyan nya. She felt her hands gettig colder with dread. Is he saying what she thinks he's saying?

"I know that you won't give it to me. Hindi ko na ipipilit. I just hope that he'll make you smile everyday."

"Kelvin..."

He pushed the chair away and stood up. Humugot ito ng pambayad sa kape nila.

"Goodbye, Celine."

"U-Uy teka..."

"Ayoko nang mag-goodbye hug. Baka hindi kita mabitawan." He smiled sadly. "Be happy, always. Okay?"

Tinapik siya nito sa balikat saka ito naglakad palabas ng restaurant.

She didn't know what got into her at that moment. Her feet just had a life of their own. Patakbo niya itong sinundan. She tugged at the hem of his shirt. When he turned, he was surprised to see her standing behind him.

"Sige na," mahina niyang sabi.

He frowned. "Ha?"

"Oo na. Bibigyan na kita ng chance."

Because suddenly, the thought of not seeing him again brought her heart so much pain.

--

Sorry sa typos. Nagmamadali ako. Haha