Note: these aren't in any certain order all of them are equally great

"Bruh what if this money was between a strippers ass cheeks?"

"Fuck them kids. If my man get me pregnant, he better take me to a zoo, take off my underwear, and hold me over the tiger cage while i shoot that lil shit out like cannonball the fuck"

"I'm still mad over that time in middle school when i was giving a presentation to the class and this girl named Ashley had an asthma attack and everyone was asking her if she was okay and shit like bitch how dare you steal all my attention like y'all really gon let her do this like y'all genuinely believe this shit hoe out here like 'i CaNt BrEaThE' girl if you don't just inhale and exhale she dramatic asf'"

"I'm sorry yo baby daddy spilled bleach your favorite dress, you can come to me whenever you feel sad about it cuz once Mirio ate my limited edition platinum shiny bulbasaur pokemon card so I know what its like"

"How tf you gon have mommy issues just traumatize yo momma back that's what I do"

" Romance all fun and games until an old lady on the bus passed gas so loudly your boyfriend gets scared and started crying and you gotta be there to comfort him."

"Toads be terrifying. Who knows what thoughts are behind them beady lil black eyes, like what the fuck you planning lil bitch you ain't even got elbows."

"When I die, I expect to be mummified in fruit roll ups"

"Sometimes you just gotta eat the ass so the ass don't eat you"

"If i could unattach and reattach my tiddies it would be over for all you bitches"