I wanted to scream, I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to get drunk and kill myself, but all I could do was stare at the wall in silence.

The house is empty now, but I can still feel your eyes burning the back of my neck. The slam of the door when you left is echoing in my ears; in waves, it hits me then draws back, hits me then draws back.

I wanted to shout and scream and tell you how I really felt but I just couldn't.

When I'm around you I can't breathe sometimes. I'm always under your control, and now I am scratching at my throat trying to speak the words that are exploding in my head, over and over. Instead the words come spilling out in tears and whimpers of pain.