"Zee-" Jace breathed out when I came down the steps, slipping back on my leather jacket after he had taken me to the City of Bones for treatment. "Are you okay? How was it-"

"It was fine." I simply said, crossing my arms, coming to a stop right in front of him.

"Okay, that's good-" Jace scanned my face. "What'd they do to you?"

"Nothing." I stared at him blankly. "They couldn't do a damn anything. Apparently the demonic tether that binds me to Jonathan is stronger than anything they've ever seen before, so- nothing."

"Well, look- it doesn't mean we're out of options." Jace sighed lightly, assuring me.

I wasn't comforted. "Jace."

"Look, you saw that illustration with me." Jace pointed out. "Michael separated himself from Lucifer- that means there has to be a way."

"Well, the last time I checked- none of us have a clue where to even begin, and-" I paused for a few moments and looked away in thought. "Wait- maybe we should go straight to the source."

Jace stares. "Are you talking about Lilith?"

"Yeah." I looked at him. "She gave me the rune- I mean, no one in their right mind would carry out something like that without knowing every aspect of it-"

"No, no, no-" Jace immediately shook his head. "Look, we just got rid of her- and it almost cost you your life."

"Living like this is costing me it anyways." I shot back at him. "It's only a matter of time because this rune pushes me over that edge and I'm back to square one-"

"Zee." Jace grabbed my arms and stared at me deeply. "You're one of the strongest people I know- you'll get through this- we'll find another way."

"No, Jace- you don't understand." I argued. "This rune- I can't beat it. It's too strong, and so far- I'm just trying to endure it for as long as I can. I can't overpower it- I can't- resist. I let Jonathan ago- again- and after what happened with Aline-"

"Listen, Aline didn't mean to provoke you like that." Jace squeezed my arms gently. "She's just in her head with Jonathan being back-"

"That doesn't excuse the way I almost killed her." I snipped at him. "Or the fact that I let Jonathan go instead of bringing him in. Jace, I've become a liability- and soon-"

"Don't go through-" Jace cut me off immediately. "You won't-"

"You don't understand!" I lashed out at him. "The darkness- I can feel it in me! I can feel it growing stronger and stronger and I don't know how long I can keep fighting- and then I'll-"

"Hey, listen to me." Jace stopped me and grabbed my face. "You are a good person."

My voice dropped. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Jace shot me down. "You're a good person. You've done nothing but protect everyone you care about- you've done nothing but protect our world. No rune is gonna change that who you are."

-

"Come on, Magnus." I heard Catarina's panicked voice when Jace and I walked toward Alec's office. "Stay with me- come on!"

"Catarina, he just collapsed-" Alec's voice followed and was rushed. "You have to do something- he's not breathing-"

Isabelle's gasp filled my ears. "By the Angel!"

I picked up my speed and rushed into his office to find Magnus on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. "Magnus?-"

Jace was close behind me. "Magnus-"

"What the hell happened?" I panicked immediately when I saw him, my eyes wide.

"It's okay-" Alec had faced me and tried to take me out of the room. "It's gonna be fine- come on, you don't need to see this-"

"What?" I snapped, my heart beginning to race, fighting Alec's strength. "I'm not leaving him!"

"Come on, Magnus!" Catarina tried her best. "Hang in there!"

And that was the last straw of Alec, as he lifted me up off the ground and walked me out of the room, holding onto me tightly as I fought and shouted in protest. "No!-"

-

It was difficult staring at someone you loved so much in a horrible, uncontrollable position. A horrendous circumstance. A gruesome situation.

But it seemed like it was a consistent thing for me.

It seemed like it may never stop.

The feeling grew worse and worse every time I glanced at Magnus' pale, lifeless body on the medical bed.

His hair was flat down and he had been changed into a gown. All color had left his face, all sense of life.

The Magnus in front of me was not the Magnus I saw every day. Magnus didn't even look this bad on his worst days.

If he ever had a worse day.

"Hey, Magnus." My voice was low, my arms crossed. "You probably can't hear me- and I'm going to sound like a idiot- but, I'm going to talk anyways. Because I miss you-"

"I can't wait til you wake up." I had to clench my hands into fists to stop them from shaking. "I swear, I'll bring you all the glitter suits you want- I'll do your eyeliner for you and everything. So you can feel like you- because I know you'll be disgusted with how atrocious the gown looks-"

"You just have to wake up." My voice fell even quieter towards the last word of my sentence. "So wake up- please."

I stared at him for a few moments, then looked down at my hands, opening and closing my fists.

My eyes then scanned the room, falling onto a small bottle on the table by his bed, my eyes squinting in suspicion. Before I could get up and investigate, the door opened.

"May I come in?" Catarina asked from the door frame, making my head snap up quickly.

"Yeah." I got up immediately and looked at her. "Did you manage it? Did you make contact with the people at the Spiral Labyrinth?"

"Yes, and I shared the test results, and he agreed." Catarina nodded. "Magnus's body is rejecting Lorenzo's magic."

I repeated slowly. "Rejecting."

"Think of it like a failing organ transplant." Catarina explained. "Each time Magnus performs a spell, it puts a tremendous strain on his body- he got lucky this time, he will regain consciousness. But- if he uses magic again, even for something small, he might not survive."

"Can't you just take the magic out?" I questioned. "Why can't you just- fix him?"

"I wish I could." Catarina said. "The only one who can reverse the transfer is the person who gave it to him."

My blood began to boil. "Lorenzo-"

"Zee, there's no way he could have planned it." Catarina knew where I was going with this. "With magic transfusions, there's always this possibility."

"No- he took advantage of him, and now Magnus is suffering." I began to walk. "I'm going to kill this son of a bitch-"

"You need to settle down." Catarina stopped me. "What's the Shadowhunter saying? Emotions cloud judgement?"

I stared at her silently.

"You lose your temper with Lorenzo, he'll have less incentive to help." Catarina made a valid point. "Like it or not, Lorenzo Rey is Magnus's only hope."

-

"I can't believe this is happening." I was pacing now, outside of Magnus' room with everyone else, my voice low and to myself. "Why is everything falling apart?"

"Zee." Clary put a hand on my arm, her voice gentle. "It'll be alright-"

"Don't touch me-" I pulled back away from her, barely giving her a glance, pacing back and forth.

"Okay, I know things might seem horrible right now, but- it's gonna be fine." Clary tried to assure me, trying to remain as calm as possible.

I don't reply, starting to mess with my sleeves, feeling my blood start to boil and an consuming anger burn in my chest with every word she spoke.

"Why don't you sit down-" Clary began once again. "Or just step away for a minute- you need a breather-"

"Shut up!" I shouted abruptly and stopped pacing, spinning to face her, catching practically everyone off guard. "Just shut up!"

"I-" Clary was taken back, stammering at my outburst. "I'm just trying to help-"

"Help?" I laughed right in her face, taking a step towards her. "You want to help, Clarissa? Make yourself scarce-"

Clary stared at me with wide eyes. "Zee-"

"You know, I would've never been in this position if it weren't for you." I walked towards her slowly, feeling an overwhelming amount of anger that I couldn't control. "If you weren't destined to have that stupid cup- I would've never showed up to retrieve it. I would have never stayed- I would have never cared this much about anything concerning any of you- I would've been ten times better off without everything I've been through while being here-"

This time, Clary said nothing.

Simon spoke instead. "Zee, your rune-"

I tuned him out and stopped right in front of her, my fists clenched at my sides. "Do you ever think about that? How much you've screwed with everyone's lives? With my life? I mean- god, I should've just slit your throat the moment I met you to make it easier on myself-"

"Zee!" Alec's voice caught my attention, and it was then I noticed everyone had gotten up out of their seats and were staring at me with shocked and worried expressions. It was then I realized that Jace had quickly fetched Alec to snap me out of it.

And it was then I realized what I had just said.

"I-" I was stammering when I fully processed, before grabbing my shirt and pulling it aside to look at the binding rune, the rune glowing brightly and the burning becoming more apparent. "The- the rune-"

"Clary, I-" I looked at her, scanning the slightly hurt expression on her face that was followed by realization, my heart actually shattering at the sight.

"Zee, you don't look well." Isabelle's voice was quiet and scanning my face instead, a concerned and worried expression painted on her face.

"Jace." I looked at him instantly, my voice slightly shaky. "I can't live like this."

Jace inhaled sharply, knowing what I meant. "Zee-"

I shook my head at him. "Jace, if you don't help me- I'll do it myself."

"Do what?" Alec questioned for everyone, staring down at me. "Zee, what's going on?"

-

"I spoke to Catarina." Alec walked over to us in the Ops Center. "She won't summon Lilith. Too dangerous."

Simon questioned. "Well, can we find another warlock?"

"There's no one else we can trust." Jace says.

Alec inhaled. "Leave that to me."

"You?" I looked at him. "How're you gonna find us a way to summon the Queen of Hell?"

Alec pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Just trust me."

"Okay, let's say we manage to summon Lilith." Jace sighed a bit. "What's to stop her from escaping? Or attacking us?"

"The Malachi Configuration." Isabelle mentioned. "It was built to contain greater demons."

Alec inhales. "Right, but- not the Queen of Hell."

"We need a contingency plan." I huffed.

Isabelle thought out loud. "A way to send her back to Edom if she gets loose."

"The Mark of Cain." Simon suggests.

"Yeah, the Mark of Cain would be perfect-" Jace shot him a look. "If you still had it."

"You don't have your mark anymore?" I looked at Simon. "What the hell? That was useful-"

"Sure, up until I thought I killed you." Simon looked at me. "I felt sick at the thought of it-"

I blinked a few times. "If I wasn't already in a bad mood, I would totally be flattered right now."

Simon continued. "Look, I don't, but Izzy and I both know someone that does."

"Do you think you can convince Cain to cooperate?" Isabelle looked at him.

"Well, I mean, it seemed like he liked me." Simon shrugged. "It's worth a shot."

"Let's say we summon Lilith, and we manage to trap her, and Cain is willing to help." Jace combined. "The only problem is- how do we get her to talk to us?"

"Don't worry about it." Isabelle assured. "With the upgrades I made to the Malachi configuration, that shouldn't be an issue."

Simon nodded. "I'll go talk to him right now."

"I'll go with you-" Isabelle called out after him, chasing right behind him when he walked off.

"Let me know when they get back-" I began to say but stopped talking mid sentence when I felt an extreme amount of stinging and burning erupting all over my skin. "I-"

Clary noticed immediately. "Zee?-"

"I'm fine, I-" I tried to stammer out, my hands gripping the edge of the table, my teeth gritted, trying to endure the pain.

But, it was so painful that I completely collapsed before I could catch myself, jerking and spasming on the ground at the pain, a scream escaping my lips.

"Zee!" Jace panicked, falling onto the ground next to me on his knees with Alec and Clary. "What's going on?-"

"It- it burns." I stuttered when Alec pulled my upper body into his side, helping me sit up a bit.

"It's Jonathan." Alec took notice of the glowing rune, before running his fingers through my hair. "It's okay- it'll be over soon-"

And it was.

But, what had Jonathan done this time?

-

"Charming, isn't it?" Lorenzo magically swung the door right open when I had gone to what was, unfortunately, his apartment now. "It's one of Mozart's lesser known works, but certainly one of my favorites- you should've seen the look on Wolfgang's face when I told him what I really thought about his Mass in C Minor."

I walked into the apartment. "We need to talk."

"Hang on, this is the best part-" Lorenzo kept his back to me, sipping his drink slowly.

I walked in further and reached, swinging off the player. "Like I said. We need to talk."

Lorenzo sighed and faced me. "What can I do for you, Ms. Morgenstern?"

I crossed my arms. "Magnus' body is rejecting the magic you've given him."

"I did warn your boyfriend of the risks involved." Lorenzo poured himself a fresh drink. "He assured me he could handle it."

"Well, if he could- I wouldn't be here right now." I stared at him. "I want you to take the magic back. It's not a request-"

"But- he brought this upon himself." Lorenzo looked at me with an unaffected expression. "Not my fault the pompous old warlock falls by his own hubris."

"He needs your help. As High Warlock, it's your duty and you're refusing him-" I scoffed lightly. "I don't get it. Why do you hate him so much? What did he ever do to you?"

"It's simple." Lorenzo set down his drink. "All my life, I've had to sit by and watch while the world lavished praise on Magnus Bane. The Prodigy. The High Warlock who could do no wrong."

I blinked. "Are you kidding me?"

"You have no idea how hard I've had to work for everything that I have- that man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth." Lorenzo spat at me. "His celebrity is not based on talent- it's nepotism."

"You're not helping him purely out of jealously?" I walked toward him. "You bastard- I swear, I will-"

Lorenzo looked down at me. "You'll what?"

"Magnus is my family." My fists clenched at my sides, my voice lowering as I inched closer to him. "And I can't lose my family- so Lorenzo, if he dies? If Magnus dies because you were too jealous to help him, I swear on the Angel- I swear on everything I hold dear that I don't care what happens to me, I will have your head on a stick-"

This silenced Lorenzo.

"Now." I started again. "You were saying?"

-

"Magnus- hey," I quietly said, reached over and pushing some of his hair out of his face when he started to come into consciousness. "Are you there?"

Magnus' eyes opened, blinking a few times before he turned his head to the sound of my voice. "Biscuit-"

"Hey." I gave him a soft smile. "I'm here-"

"What happened?-" Magnus slowly sat up, taking a glance around the room and at himself.

"You got sick." I simply said, trying to spare him the details til later. "But, you'll be okay- everything's going to be fine-"

Magnus slowly nodded and then kept looking around as though he was looking for something.

"Magnus." I asked. "What is it?"

"Oh- here it is!" Magnus reached and snatched the bottle from the table, grunting a little as he forced himself to sit up.

I sat up very quickly. "Magnus, you shouldn't be moving this much yet-"

"This is for you." Magnus handed me the bottle. "I was casting a spell on this before it all gets blurry-"

I stared at the small bottle in my hands and then looked at him. "What is this?"

"It's an elixir." Magnus told me with a weak smile on his lips. "It's for your parabatai rune- and your abilities- I finally figured out how to restore them- I wanted it to be a surprise, but-"

"Are you-" I was stammering. "Magnus-"

"Biscuit, come on- you can't really be surprised." Magnus said. "Of course I was going to find you a cure-"

I was at a loss of words. "I- uh- thank you-"

"You don't need to thank me." Magnus began, sitting up a bit more before he held up his hand and got ready to snap his fingers.

"Wait!-" I panicked and grabbed his wrist to stop him. "What're you doing? What do you need- I'll get it for you- just- don't-"

"Zee, what-" Magnus started but paused at the sight behind me. "What's he doing here?"

"The reason why you got sick- is because of his magic." My voice got low as I explained. "Catarina says that if you use the magic again, even a little bit, you won't make it next time- so, the only way for you to get better is for him to take the magic away."

"No, Catarina's just being overly cautious." Magnus shook his head. "Trust me, I feel fine-"

"Alright, no-" I denied. "Lorenzo, will you just give us a minute- I'll-"

"No!" Magnus suddenly bursted, my head snapping towards him. "I'm not getting rid of my magic."

-

"Magnus, I literally threatened him into coming here! You can't just say no!" I jeered at his back, my eyes slightly wide. "You stopped breathing- your heart had stopped- you almost died, Magnus!"

"I'm so sorry for scaring you." Magnus fixed his sleeve after he had changed. "I was clearly adjusting to Lorenzo's magic, and I must have overextended myself. I promise I'll be more careful from now on."

"Are you out of your mind?" I stared at him. "Have you not payed attention at all? It doesn't matter how careful you are- as long as you have Lorenzo's magic, you'll be living with an ax over your head."

Magnus finally turned and looked at me. "Oh, could you stop being so morbid?"

"Morbid?" I repeated. "Magnus, I completely understand what your magic means to you. I know how important it is- but, god- I'll be damned if I let it kill you."

"Zee, I am nothing without my magic." Magnus stares at me. "Look at me. Can you honestly say I'll be the same person without it?"

"Yes!" I was exasperated. "Your magic isn't what makes you, you. Yes, it's something that is a part of you- yes, it's important- but your magic isn't what draws people to you. And I don't care if I have to tie you up and lock you up until this insane whim of yours is over because I will not lose that person. Do you understand?"

-

"Are you ready?" I asked Magnus in a quiet tone when Lorenzo had come in the room to fulfill his purpose.

"You understand once I take back my magic, that's it." Lorenzo said to Magnus when he nodded. "I cannot give you another transfusion."

Magnus sighed and stood up. "Just do it."

Then, Lorenzo held out his palms, using his magic to extract every drop of magic he had given Magnus, my heart aching at the sight.

I quickly caught Magnus the moment he collapsed after the extraction. "Are you okay?-"

When he nodded, I looked at Lorenzo, swallowing hard. "Uh- thank you."

"Yes, well- I hope you know this changes nothing." Lorenzo gave us a smile. "I'll be keeping the apartment."

I muttered under my breath. "Bastard-"

"Oh, fine-" Magnus snipped back at him. "I have everything I need right here."

-

"Uh, hey-" My voice was low when I approached Clary as we had all set up at the empty warehouse to summon Lilith. "Uh-"

Clary looked at me, scanning my face as I stammered. "We've set up the Malachi Configuration-"

"I, no- that's not- what I wanted to talk to you about." I was struggling to find the right look. "Listen- I- I don't wish you were dead."

Clary was at a loss of words, staring at me.

"I don't." I repeated, blinking a few times and then looking down. "Look, I'm really sorry I said that, Clary."

Clary decided to tease me to lighten up the mood. "Are you- apologizing to me?"

"Don't get used to it." I immediately shot at her. "But- really. I didn't mean it."

"I know. It's the rune." Clary gave me a weak smile. "Don't worry about it- let's work on getting it off, okay?"

"Right." I stared at her for a moment and then backed away, holding the blue bottle in my hand.

"Careful." Alec was at my side when I popped the lid open. "It'll most likely taste horrible-"

"This is what you meant earlier, hm?" I looked at him. "You knew he made this."

"Of course I knew." Alec reached and ruffled my hair lightly. "I just wanted it to be a surprise."

I playfully rolled my eyes and then exhaled slow, downing the potion as quickly as possible.

"How do you feel?" Jace asked me when I took a few deep breathes, feeling my parabatai rune searing itself back onto my skin. "Did it work?"

"It worked-" I nodded quickly and sighed, taking a step forward. "All right, I'm going to open a summoning portal inside the Malachi Configuration. Once Lilith surfaces, she'll be trapped inside."

Isabelle looked at Cain. "If she breaks free, use your vamp speed and act as our shield."

"I will do my best." Cain nodded once.

"Everyone keep their eyes open." Jace took out his seraph blade. "Don't take any chances."

Alec came to a stop next to me, holding a tight grip on his bow. "Whenever you're ready."

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

I focused, my heart leaping at the familiar feeling I missed so much when my eyes glowed gold and the rune appeared before me.

My palm flew forward, pushing the rune towards the Malachi Configuration, watching as Lilith appeared right between the trap, my eyes widening with satisfactory.

I couldn't help but smirk at my success. "Welcome back."

-

"So many familiar faces," Lilith trailed off slowly, looking around the room. "Son of Adam, my precious Owl- how lovely to see you both."

"And you-" Lilith's gaze stopped on me. "The girl who stole my boy's heart."

"Unfortunately." I stood up straight. "Look, you carved this rune on me and now, you're gonna tell me how to remove it."

"Why would I do that?" Lilith seethed at me. "Jonathan- that ungrateful bastard tried to kill me- as far as I'm concerned, you two deserve each other."

"Enough!" Alec cut in. "If you're not gonna cooperate willingly, we're gonna have to make you."

He then nodded at Isabelle, who slowly walked over and crouched by the swords, grabbing one and twisting it, electrocuting Lilith right in her trap.

I slowly took a step forward, watching her scream. "Huh- the sound of your screams is quite satisfying- I could do this all day."

"There's only one way to break the bond between you two!" Lilith shrieked out, causing Isabelle to stop the torture. "You've heard of Michael and Lucifer?"

"Lucifer possessed the Morning Star blade, but Michael had a sword of his own called Glorious." Lilith panted. "It was imbued with heavenly fire which gave it the power to purge demonic energy."

Isabelle mumbled. "Heavenly fire?"

"By stabbing Lucifer with Glorious, Michael was able to nullify the rune's power, and break the connection." Lilith caught her breath.

Alec questioned. "Where is Glorious now?"

"Nowhere. Glorious was destroyed the moment Michael pierced Lucifer- its blade was shattered into a thousand pieces and lost to time." Lilith looked at me with a wicked smile. "There is no hope for you, Zee Morgenstern."

Her words made my heart drop.

"No!" Jace walked over and turned the sword again. "You put that rune on her, you're gonna take it off!"

"I told you, there's nothing I can do!" Lilith was screaming louder than she was before, crying out in pain from the torture.

"Jace, enough." I placed a hand on his shoulder, my expression hard. "She's telling the truth."

Jace huffed and turned the sword back, getting up with me until Isabelle's shout made us freeze. "Watch out!-"

I had no time to react, feeling an arm pull me back against a hard chest, another hand coming forward and activating the rune on my neck.

I knew who it was.

And the rune he had just activated.

Agony rune.

He wanted to get me out of the way.

And this was the way he could ensure it.

Because I collapsed the moment it was activated, holding my head, my eyes wide at what I was seeing before me.

I wasn't at the warehouse anymore.

I was at the Institute.

"Darling-" Margaret weakly smiles at me through her pain, her voice breaking, holding my hand tighter, "This isn't your fault."

I stared at her, tears starting to slowly burn in my eyes even when I tried to not let them, "Just- just, hang on- okay, it's- I'll figure something out, and- you'll make it-"

Margaret stares at me, tears slowly falling from her eyes as she watched me try to assure her that it would be alright, "Zee, it's okay."

My mouth was slightly opened, my eyes glued to her, not wanting to accept the fate that was right in front of me.

"I am- so happy you're home." Margaret's voice was shaky and barely there, "With your friends- your sister- with Alec. I only wish I could've been there for the wedding-"

"Wedding?" I whispered out, trying to keep her talking to keep her awake, "You think we're going to get married?"

"I know it-" Margaret started to slowly close her eyes, "Tell him you love him."

I stammer, "I- love?-"

"I know your father- he's taught you that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed- but that's- so far from the truth-" Margaret's blinked slowly, "It's strength- they're what you're fighting for- you're not alone anymore, Zee."

I squeezed her hand lightly in response, but then her head leaned back completely, her eyes closing, "I love you- so much-"

"Hey, hey-" My heart stopped, as I lightly shook her immediately, "Stay awake- keep your eyes open-"

"Tell me- tell me more, I want to know more-" My attempts had no response, my voice shaky as I noticed her go limp, "Mom?-"

Why does my throat hurt so badly? Who's screaming is that? Was it my own? I couldn't tell.

"You got in my way." My voice broke, tears falling.

"He was going to kill you-" Jace squeezed my hand lightly, tears burning in his own eyes from seeing me cry, "Rather it be me than you-"

"He killed my mom- I can't lose you to him, too-" I couldn't hold back my quiet sobs, "Please, just- hang on- alright- let me get my stele-"

Jace didn't let me move, "I'm not going to make it."

"You have to- you have to, please-" I was pleading, starting to cry harder, "Please, you can't go this way-"

"I love you-" Jace's voice faded, before his eyes closed completely, taking his last breath.

"Jace-" I shook him once, my bloody hands gripping his arms and shaking him, my screams and cries getting louder, "Jace!-"

That was me screaming. Why can't I breathe? Why did my hand sting so badly?

"He isn't lying, is he?" I started to cry quietly to myself, my hands shaking lightly as I held the necklace delicately in my hands, "You're really gone, aren't you?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." I felt myself choke up, the tears in my eyes streaming down my cheeks freely, "The thought of you being gone- it's so unbearable that, god, I can't believe I'm uttering these words, but- I don't think I want to find a way home."

"I don't think I can handle being back in New York without you being with me." I was crying harder now, "Hell, I don't even have a home anymore now that you're gone- you're my home- you always have been."

"And- what makes this even worse is that- this is all my fault," I covered my mouth with one hand, sobbing now, "If I hadn't let my guard down, I wouldn't have had to bring Jace back- he wouldn't have gotten possessed and you wouldn't be dead- you wouldn't be gone- everything would be fine-"

"I'm the cause of all of this." I hated myself so much, "This is all my fault-"

"I'm so sorry- I didn't know." I was now wailing, trembling by how hard I was crying, "I'm so sorry, Alec- I'm so, so sorry-"

My eyes stung badly. My cheeks were wet. Was I crying? I was, wasn't I? Why did my neck feel damp? Why did it feel so raw? Why did it feel like it had been cut into?

Then, I was broken free of my prison, a gasp leaving my lips when I was relieved of the rune, collapsing into the arms of whoever had been my savior.

It was Jace.

It took me moments to realize he was wounded.

We were still on the ground, my head slowly lifting from his chest to look at our surroundings.

Everyone was on the ground, wounded.

Alec, Isabelle and Clary were many feet away, coughing and holding their own wounds.

Simon was on his knees, coughing up dark blood. It was pitch black. It only made sense for it to be demon blood.

Lilith and Cain were missing.

Jonathan was on his knees, holding his neck, his demon blood staining the side of his neck as he coughed.

Jace had been the closest to me and had freed me of the torture I was experiencing.

I touched my cheek, feeling the dampness of my own tears. I was crying. My neck was bleeding because Simon had tried to attack Jonathan. My hand was scorched because of Isabelle's whip that Jonathan had caught.

I missed the entire fight.

And I was angry.

I forced myself up to my feet and stormed over to Jonathan, my hand curling into a tight fist and landing right under his jaw, knocking him off his knees and onto his back.

I felt that pain strike in my jaw. It hurt.

Good.

"Do you have any idea what you just did to me?" I grabbed him by the collar, my voice rasping and breaking when I shouted in his face. "You made me lose them again!"

I didn't give Jonathan a chance to reply, my fist coming in contact with his jaw.

"And you think I'm going to let you take me away too?" I hit him again, feeling more pain erupt on myself. "You think I'm going to let you take away who I've worked so hard to become?"

"Zee, stop!" I heard Clary shout from where she laid in pain. "You're hurting yourself!"

I ignored her and continued to land solid hits on Jonathan, hits he had begun to try and block and swinging right back at me.

But, I had gotten the upper hand and knocked him off his feet, before walking away from him and picking up his seraph blade.

Jonathan then pushed himself onto his feet coughing, letting out a pleading about. "Sister, please! Help me!"

I paused my movements.

Was that really all it took?

Was the rune influence that powerful?

I stared at Jonathan, my body frozen, my eyes beginning to glow gold.

"Zee, no-" Jace's panicked shout filled my ears. "Don't!"

My portal rune formed before me.

"Zee!" Alec's shout was the one to snap me back into my senses. "Stop!"

I looked at Alec, then slowly looked at my glowing rune apparent and ready before me.

I almost had saved Jonathan.

This was becoming out of control, wasn't it?

It had to be put to an end.

I dropped the seraph blade and pulled out one of my kindjals instead.

"Zee-" Isabelle's voice was now filling my ears along with her grunts as she tried to move. "What're you doing?-"

I didn't look at her.

There was no saving me anyway, right?

I looked right at Jonathan.

"There is no hope for you, Zee Morgenstern." Lilith's words repeated in my head again and again before I brought the blade to my throat and slit it without hesitation.

I collapsed.

-

"Is this hell?" was the first thing I asked when I opened my eyes, squinting slightly at the bright lights that had blinded me almost immediately.

"No." Alec's raspy voice filled my ears after a few moments. "But, you're going to wish you were in hell after I'm through with you."

My eyes opened wider as I blinked to focus my vision, before looking to my side, my eyes falling upon Alec.

Alec sat at my bedside, his eyes red and watery. He looked tired and worried, and it was then I realized his voice was so raspy from crying.

"Did you get him?" My voice was a whisper. "Jonathan?"

"He's locked up in a cell." Alec swallowed a bit hard. "He was in no condition to make any escape."

I turned my head to fully look at him, my voice remaining a whisper. "I'm sorry. I broke my promise."

"I know you did." Alec laced his hand into mine and then his voice fell into a whisper. "How could you do that?"

"Because all he had to say was one sentence and I was ready to help him." I felt tears start to pool in my eyes. "He's close. And I'd rather die than go backwards-"

"You gave up too easily." Alec stared right at me. "You never give up this easily."

"I gave up easily?" I forced myself to sit up despite the pain I felt, and kept talking despite the scratchy and soreness in my throat. "I stopped fighting because I knew it was inevitable. No matter how hard I tried, he is always going to be too strong for me and soon enough, I'm going to join him- so, I acted. I prevented me from going to him all together- and you saved me. You shouldn't have saved me- I'm trying to protect you all-"

"Shouldn't have saved you?" Alec shot up out of his chair. "Have you completely lost your mind? I'm not going to lose you because you want to take the easy way out!"

"The easy way out?" I stared at him with wide eyes. "What, you're saying you want me to suffer?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Alec's voice cracked. "I'm saying that I don't care what Lilith says, we're going to find out a way to free you from Jonathan. My argument has always been the same- that I can't lose you. That I can't handle losing you-"

"Any other time has been different." The tears in my eyes fell unwillingly. "I'm different now. Can't you see what this rune has been doing to me? Can you honestly look at me and say you don't feel differently about me? Can you honestly say you like who's before you right now?"

"Of course I love who's before me!" Alec raised his voice at me slightly. "I fell in love with you. The person you don't want to go back to- I fell in love with that person- I have loved that person flaws and all-"

"No, you were in love with the person I was before." I scoffed at his words and shook my head. "The person you wanted me to be again-"

"I was in love with you!" Alec leveled his face to mine. "I was in love with the way you had a remark for anything- the way you stood up to authority even when it wasn't your place- the way you pretended like you didn't care about any of us but told me to stay safe while I stayed back trying to buy you all time when we first got the Mortal Cup-"

I sighed and shook my head. "Alec-"

"I- whenever you walk into a room- there's just- this spark- that lights up the room- and- hey!" Alec grabbed my chin and forced me to look at me when I turned my face away when he continued. "I won't lose you. I can't. So if this is going to continue, I swear on the Angel, Zee- I will restrain you and lock you in one of the sub cells until this insane whim of yours is over!"

I stared at him, at a loss of words.

"Okay?" The tears in Alec's eyes that I had just become aware of had spilled over. "You can't leave me. Just- just stay with me- alright?-"

Staring at him, I realized I was being insensitive. I had been insensitive to even think about acting in such a drastic way.

What had gotten into me?

"Okay." The ground I was trying so hard to upheld broke, my hands slowly reaching up and grabbing a hold of his face in both of my hands. "I'm sorry. I'll stay with you."

Alec nodded barely and then moved, slipping his arms under my legs and lifting me up from the bed. He sat down and placed me on his leg, wrapping his arms around me, resting his cheek on the top of my head. "Just stay."

"I'm right here." I hugged onto his middle, my voice a whisper. "I'm staying."

-

[ third person pov ]

"Hi!" His mother, Maryse smiled widely at Alec when he walked into her newly owned bookstore, engulfing him in a hug instantly. "What a nice surprise!"

"I thought I'd actually stop by and see the place." Alec smiled down at her when they pulled away. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks!" Maryse beamed and looked around the shop she had worked so hard on so far. "It's really coming together, isn't it?"

"There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." Alec explained, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling his heart racing at just the thought of it. How would he utter these words out loud?

"What is it?" Maryse appeared worried, grabbing his hand and guiding him to a table, taking a seat down with him. "What's going on?"

"Well, uh- as you know- Zee's been under a tremendous amount of stress lately- and it's been taking a toll on her." Alec started to explain, now messing with his hands. "Today of all days has been extremely hard on her and- after today, it's made me realize the intensity of how much she means to me. How much I love her- and can't live without her-"

"That's what love is." Maryse couldn't help but smile at his words. "I'm so happy you two found each other."

"Me too." Alec looked at her slowly, his voice getting quiet. "That's why I was wondering if I could have the family ring. And if you'd go to the jeweler's with Isabelle and I. To choose a ring-"

Maryse's eyes widened. "Alec-"

"Yeah, Mom." Alec confirmed her thoughts and nodded. "I'm gonna ask Zee to marry me."

authors note:

OKAY IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CHAPTER, IM REALLY DOUBTFUL ABOUT IT BUT WHATEVER IM PUBLISHING IT ANYWAYS

but, anyways, lots to unpack here folks

zee really went zero to a hundred real fast— i mean, she's trying to eliminate the problem before it even happens because she's afraid to turn on them but damn— she was ready to not even give jonathan a chance

IMAGINE HOW IZZY FELT oh my god, she just got her rune with zee intact again and zee pulls something like that

but, the agony rune. she experienced three memories because with what she's gone through, i figured she can't exactly just have one most painful memory. losing her mother, losing jace and being utterly convinced that alec was dead were all equally as painful for her so that really sent her crazy

zee losing it on clary actually made me v sad. but, her apology !!! agh, look at how far they've come

zee and magnus >> agh, the way she was talking to him when he was unconscious- i cried

and zee and jace !! i love their friendship so much, it hurts

lmfao, zee threatening lorenzo to come take magnus' magic back—

the way that both zee and alec threatened to tie people up and lock them up until their insane whim is over— just added that little detail so it's clear they spend so much time together that they talk the same

but, the zalec argument— agh, pain. just pain- the way he just kept asking her to stay- oh my GOD

but, thank you so much for 96k !!

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