"Today, we stand before you to celebrate one person- and one person only." Inquisitor Herondale stood before everyone in Alicante, having me stand right next to me, where we were all dressed up for ceremony, "Zee Young."

I looked at her when she addressed me as Young and not Morgenstern, almost speechless as she continued, "Her actions aren't nothing less than heroic."

"This woman- fought bravely for our people and more, and has defeated our greatest enemy." She placed a hand on my back, "Valentine may have used the Mortal Instruments to raise the Angel Raziel, but you prevented a wish from being granted."

"Zee Young, may your heroism be a shining example to Shadowhunters across the world." Inquisitor Herondale said, as cheer erupted in the entire room, her voice lowering, "Your mother would be so proud of you."

"Thank you." I gave her just a small smile before heading down the steps and immediately walking towards Alec and Isabelle, exhaling in relief, "I'm glad that's over-"

"You deserved every bit of recognition!" Isabelle threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly, "You are the hero of Alicante- you went hand to hand with Valentine and killed him, so don't be so modest."

"Hero." I repeated, slowly pulling away, "That's weird to hear- I've never been called that before."

"Well, you better get used to it-" Alec pulls me into his hold next, kissing all over my face, making me start to giggle lightly, trying to pull my face away.

"I'm gonna look for Mom-" smiled Isabelle, walking away from Alec and I, giving us some alone time.

"Alec, stop!-" I couldn't help but continue giggling, lightly pushing his face away from mine playfully.

"Actually- we should talk." Alec puts a strand of my hair behind my ear, then exhales, "That night at Lake Lyn-"

I was confused, "We already talk about that."

"But, there's more to the story, isn't there?" Alec asks, "More than that's been lead on-"

"What?" I blink, "I already told you everything I know, Alec- you were there for some of it-"

"I felt Jace die." Alec said to me, "He says he has no idea why, but, he's lying- my parabatai rune disappeared."

"Isabelle felt me die, and here I am-" I replied, "I don't know how to explain to you that I have no idea-"

"I guess you're right." Alec wraps his arms around me fully, before starting to kiss all over my face again, making me burst out into more giggles.

-

"Hey there, Barbie." I quietly greeted Jace, walking towards him with a very small smile on my lips to try and comfort him when I noticed he was standing by his parents' graves, "You doing alright?"

"This is the closest I've ever gotten to them." Jace exhales slow, holding his necklace in his hands, "Too bad it's in the Cemetery of the Disgraced."

"They put their trust in the wrong person, Jace." I placed a hand on his back to comfort him, "People make mistakes all the time- it's okay."

Jace barely nods, staying silent.

"Listen," I trail off, "We should tell Alec-"

Jace looks at me, as I exhaled slow, going more in depth, "How I brought you back with the wish?-"

Jace shook his head almost immediately, "No-"

"Jace, he's onto me." I dropped my hand, looking up at him, "And after- taking his memories- and lying to him, I mean, I know more than anyone how that feels and I never forgave my father for what he did to me-"

"But, Alec forgave me-" My voice went low, "I don't want to keep things from him again-"

"I get that, but-" Jace began.

"He's my boyfriend- and your parabatai." I crossed my arms, cutting him off, "We can trust him- more than anyone-"

"He's also the Head of the New York Institute." Jace reminds me, "If he didn't report us to the Clave, he'd be as guilty as we are."

"If you can't hide this to protect yourself, hide it to protect Alec-" Jace placed his hands on my shoulder, "What if they strip his position as Head because he decides to keep the secret as well? And knowing Alec, he will-"

I sigh, "Jace-"

"Alec wouldn't want you to be locked up in the Gard for the rest of your life- or worse, put on a death sentence." Jace denies, "No one can know, Zee."

-

"Who's that?-" I dodged a girl leaving Magnus' apartment when I walked into the room he was in, holding a burrito bowl in my hands, shoving some food in my mouth, "Get laid? Nice-"

"Oh, come on, biscuit-" Magnus shot me a playful look, before correcting me, "Stella Woods, a longtime client and the lead in Wicked- she lost her voice."

"Oh-" I set my fork down in the bowl, looking at all his ingredients, "So- what, a touch of vampire eyes and grated fangs to do the trick?"

Magnus points at me, "A touch of ground ox claw, some calcified lizard's feet."

"Well, I'm officially not hungry anymore-" I shut my bowl and set it down, "It's been a while since I've seen you with a client-"

"Yes, well, it's frowned upon when you're the High Warlock." Magnus puts some ingredients away, "Potential conflicts of interest and such, but- since I've been dismissed, I'm free to see whomever I want."

"Dismissed?" I repeat, "What?-"

"While you were in Idris-" Magnus explained, walking into the living room, "The fallout from my decision to lend the warlocks' support to the Seelie Queen-"

I shrugged, following him into the living room, "Well, you know- that was kind of stupid."

"I'm not upset, thank you very much-" Magnus shout me another playful look, then makes himself a drink, "I'm actually elated- shouldering the burden of all the warlocks in Brooklyn, it gets exhausting."

I sat on the arm of the couch, "Well, I thought this was important to you."

"What's important to me is I can see clients again." Magnus sat down, "Help them achieve their dream, and make a lot of money doing it-"

"Oh, yeah-" I snapped my fingers, "Secure the bag."

"So, how was Alicante?" Magnus softly smiles.

"Eh-" I shrugged lightly, "I kept getting praised- as a hero- it was really weird, I'm not used to it-"

"It's because you saved the entire Downworld, biscuit-" Magnus sat up, "You deserve it-"

I exhale, "I don't think so-"

"How do you mean?" Magnus asks.

"I mean, I killed my own father-" I bit the inside of my cheek, "That's not something that should be praised about-"

Magnus nods slow, understanding where I came from with this, "How are you doing with that, by the way?"

"I mean- I'm fine." I lightly shrug once, swinging my legs lightly, "I killed Jonathan- and Valentine. I should be happy, and it felt good in the moment- but, it just- kind of make me realize the kind of person I am."

Magnus got up and sat next to me, putting down his drink, "And who's that?"

"Someone who has no remorse-" I looked down at my feet, my voice going quiet, "My father was- miserable beneath me, and I just- kept going, further and further- because I wanted him to feel pain. And I enjoyed seeing him suffering-"

"I can keep pretending that I'm Zee Young, the girl that made her comeback to being good again, but- deep down I know that I'll always be Zee Morgenstern." I stared ahead of me, "And that's something that horrifies me- because, Zee Morgenstern is- terrifying- and, who knows when I'll let her out of her cage? What if I just- lose control-"

"You're right- you're not Zee Young." Magnus places a hand on my knee, "But, you're not the woman you were when you first got here either- the woman you are now, knows how to fight for love, and family-"

"And that woman is going to keep Zee Morgenstern at bay- and won't let her resurface." Magnus squeezes my knee, "The only reason you had those feelings of satisfaction when you finally ended Valentine is because he caused you so much suffering and pain that you finally could return the favor. You're good at heart, biscuit- don't think too much about it."

-

"You summoned for me?" I walked into Alec's office later that day when I received a fire message from him saying that he needed to talk to me.

"Hi-" Alec softly smiles when he saw me and got up, walking towards me, greeting me with a kiss, "I missed you-"

"I was only gone for a little while-" I playfully nudged him, watching as he shut the door behind me, "You said you needed to talk- what's up?"

Alec exhales slow, "I- uhm,"

"Is this the stage in our relationship where you tell me that you found another girl and you're going to run off with her and elope?" I leaned against his desk, "Because those are always the saddest parts of the movies-"

"Zee-" Alec couldn't help but softly laugh, making me give him a small smile, "I'm not going to do that-"

"I know- just wanted to ease your tension a little." I placed a hand on his arm and caressed it, "What's going on?"

"I was offered a position on the Council." Alec told me, "A delegate, under the new Consul, Jia Penhallow-"

"Shut up- no way!" I clapped my hands once and put my hands on both his arms, getting excited for him immediately, "Congratulations- that's- so amazing, I'm sure your parents are more than proud-"

Alec only softly smiled at my excited, then exhales, "Actually, I haven't told anyone yet-"

"Oh-" I stopped, looking at him, "Why not?-"

Alec's words made the smile on my lips slowly fade into just amusement, "Well, it would mean moving to Idris."

"Well, Idris is- home." I leaned my palms against the desk, clearing my throat, giving him just a small smile as best as I could.

Alec's words warmed my heart, "You're my home."

"Isn't that what you've always dreamed of?-" I tilted my head to the side lightly, looking at him, "It's finally coming true-"

"I've always dreamed of being with you." Alec tilts his head like I did mine, looking right back at me, "Of you loving me the way I loved you-"

I grabbed his face with one hand, caressing his cheek, "Seems like you're on a roll."

"Well, I, uhm- would only be a Portal away." I cleared my throat and stood up straight, hiding the sadness in my expression that he would leave after accepting the job, "I think you'll love working there-"

Alec looked saddened, but gave me a small smile in reassurance, nodding lightly, "You want me to go?"

"It's your dream- who am I to be in the way of that?" I gave him my best smile, before kissing his cheek, turning and leaving the room as quickly as I could, the fake expression on my face breaking into the actual sadness I felt.

-

"First, I thought it was purely mundane." Luke showed us the photos, "Woman's throat slashed with a knife, husband missing- then I noticed the black capillaries around the wound."

"Her attacker was possessed?" Isabelle asks.

Luke nodded once, "Most likely."

"Maybe this has something to do with the Wraith demons that disappeared." Alec brought up.

"Well, we'll know when we take it out." Jace said, "Who's the possessed?"

"His name's Tim Dempsey." Luke showed us his profile, "He's a pediatric nurse at St. Ambrose Hospital."

"A nurse that works with kids that also murders people- great." I exhale, looking up at them, "Magnus' friend Catarina works there- I can stop by and ask some questions."

"Yeah, why don't you guys go over there and see what you can find out?" Luke points at us, "I'll canvass his neighborhood."

-

"Labor and delivery?" Jace said, walking through the hospital with Alec, Isabelle and I when we reached the floor.

I shot him a look, "Tim Dempsey works on this floor- and so does Catarina."

"I need sugar." Isabelle suddenly said, making us all look at her, "I learned from my meetings that everyone has a different way of dealing with cravings- mine is candy."

"Don't ever try the ones with the fruit filling." I run a hand through my hair, "Absolutely disgusting-"

Isabelle held her hand out for a low high five, one that I indulged in, "I hate those too-"

Jace interjects, "Careful, that stuff will kill ya."

"If anyone knows about living healthy, it's Jace." Alec remarks, "He miraculously came back to life."

"We've been through this-" Jace sighed, "I did not come back to life- if anything, it was Zee who did-"

"Hey!" I hit his arm, "Don't bring me into this-"

Isabelle kept walking, her voice making us all shut up, "Guys."

-

"Tim is a saint." Catarina told us when we questioned her about Tim, "Seriously- the man brings his guitar every Tuesday to sing to the kids."

"Did you notice any changes in his behavior yesterday?" Isabelle questioned.

Jace says, "We're establishing a time-line for when the possession may have occurred."

"No, he was perfectly fine." Catarina replies, "Of all the people, why the hell would a demon possess Tim?"

"That's a very good question." I purse my lips at her words, "One that none of us know the answer to-"

"How's Magnus doing?" Catarina looks at me, "I've been worried about him-"

I blink, "What?-"

"When we spoke last night, he was beside himself." Catarina sighs, "Being the High Warlock meant everything to him."

I stammer, "That's not what he told me."

-

"How did it go with Magnus?" asked Alec, shooting his shot holding his cue, as we were at the Hunters Moon, a box of pizza, drinks and pool at our disposal.

"It was a very- heart wrenching moment of connecting-" I bit into my pizza, then point at the shot he was about to make, "You're never going to make that-"

Alec proves me wrong, doing exactly that, then standing up straight and looking at me, "You were saying?"

I shot him a playful look, then dropped the pizza in the box, dusting my hands and grabbing my cue, "So, have you accepted the position on the Council?-"

"Not yet." Alec stares at me as I made my shot, "But- I told Aline I'd let her know tomorrow."

I locked eyes with him, inhaling slowly, before standing up straight, clearing my throat, "Don't-"

"Don't what?" Alec kept his eyes on me.

"Go to Idris." I finished my sentence, setting down the cue and sighing, "I really- don't want you to go."

Alec set down his cue and crossed his arms, "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Because from what I can tell- it's always been your dream- and I did not want to be the factor as to if you went or not." I hugged myself, looking down, practically ashamed that I was admitting it, "I wasn't going to let how I felt about you going stop you from doing something you really wanted-"

"Zee, all I care about is how you feel." Alec walks over to me, putting his hands on my arms, "I didn't want to go to Alicante without you, but- when I brought it up, you acted like you wanted me to go."

"I was trying to be a happy, supportive girlfriend for you-" I looked up at him, "What was I supposed to do? Tell you not to go?"

"That's exactly what I wanted you to do." Alec couldn't help but smile softly, grabbing my face with one hand and caressing my cheek with his thumb, "I wanted you to tell me to stay with you- to not go to Idris-"

I stammer, "But, being delegate is a big deal-"

"So what?" Alec put a strand of my hair behind my ear, "You matter more to me than a job title, Zee."

My expression went soft, "Really?"

"Don't you understand?" Alec's words made my heart melt, "You're my home- and I don't want to be anywhere without you."

"I'm not going anywhere." Alec kisses my forehead, then gives me a small kiss, heading over to his cue, my eyes filling with small tears with how much that moment meant to me, and how I much I loved him.

authors note:

they made me cry. like, i love this ship so much.

alec officially just made zee a softie

but, listen to another love by tom odell, it gives me so many feels.

and omg zee not knowing who she is anymore sksksks my heart

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