"Zee." I heard an all too familiar voice from outside the cell I sat in at the City of Bones.

I immediately stood at the sound of Alec's voice, my eyes falling onto him.

"What're you doing here-" I walked over to him, looking at Brother Enoch, "Take him out-"

"No-" Alec shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere- I need to know if you're gonna be okay."

I didn't want him to see me like this.

"Alec, you need to go." My hands gripped the bars that separated us, "You shouldn't be here."

"Well, I am." Alec put a hand over mine, making my heart leap, "What can I do to help?"

I remain silent.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing while you sit in here for the wrong reasons." Alec presses, "Please- I'll do anything."

"You really wanna know? Okay." I exhale deeply, looking down, "You can stay the hell away from me."

Alec's expression dropped, "What?"

"No matter what happens, never come near me again." I pulled my hand from under his.

Alec looked wounded, "Zee, what are you talking about? You and I- we-"

"I am Valentine's weapon." I emphasized, "Do you really think he's just gonna let me go?"

"He knows that you-" I swallowed hard and forced the words out that I didn't want to admit, "You're my weakness, and he uses that to his advantage."

"My father might've been wrong about a lot of things, but he wasn't wrong about the fact that being around you- and everyone else- has made me soft." I stared at Alec, "And I won't let him use you guys as leverage- if I ever get out of here, I'm going to end up staying here- and then he'll be back again."

"Let him come- I'm not afraid." Alec held his voice steady, "We'll fight him off together."

"There is no together for you and I, Alec." My own words hurt me but not as much as the look on his face, "There never can be."

Alec looked like his entire world had shattered right in front of him, "Don't say that-"

"Alec, he wanted me- and because of me was Jace roped into my mess- and now? We're both sitting in cells." I looked down, holding back small tears, "He's gonna be back and he's going to hurt all of you- because you're close to me- because you changed me- because you guys gave me enough confidence to defy him- and I don't think I can bear that kind of pain."

"Zee-" Alec sounded broken by my words.

"We're done here." I looked at Brother Enoch, stepping back, looking back at Alec, "I'm sorry."

"Zee, no-" Alec's eyes had a glossy sheet over them, before he was escorted away, his eyes glued to me until he couldn't see me any longer.

-

I looked up from where I sat, Alec suddenly in front of my cell once more, this time without Brother Enoch.

"Alec-" I got up, "I told you-"

"I know you said to stay away, but-" Alec inhales deeply, "I can't- I can't be away from you."

"Why don't you get it- why can't you understand?" I walked over to the bars, "You being near me is a risky and I'm not willingly putting you in danger-"

"We'll figure it out." Alec grabbed my hand through the bars, pressing his forehead against the metal, his breath fanning against my face, "Don't be afraid."

I don't respond, staring into his eyes.

"I can't stay away from you." Alec puts one of my hands over his heart, having me feel his racing heartbeat, "I need you."

"I know you feel the same." Alec intertwined his fingers in mine, keeping my hand over his hear, "Don't be afraid to let it in."

"Be afraid." I pushed the feeling away, grabbing the seraph blade he has, piercing it into him, "Love's overrated."

Alec's voice choked, stepping back, blood beginning to ooze out of the wound I had just made in him, "Zee-"

"Alec!" I cried out, sitting up quickly, breathing heavily, realizing I had fallen asleep on the ground of my cell.

"Hey-" Jace's voice filled my ears, as I had just now realized he was in the cell to my right, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah- yeah, I'm good-" I inhaled deeply, trying to catch my breath, leaning against the wall.

"I heard you talking to Alec-" Jace brought up suddenly, "I know you're trying to protect him- but, he doesn't need protecting."

"You wouldn't be in here if it weren't for me." I cross my arms, hugging myself, "I don't want Alec or anyone else to go through what you've gone through just because you stuck by me."

"I stuck by you because you're my best friend." Jace's words made me heart warm, a feeling I wasn't used to, "I'm always going to be by your side."

"Zee?" An all too familiar voice filled the air from the cell to my left, "Are you okay?"

"Hodge?" I sat up slowly, scoffing deeply in annoyance, "Are you kidding me? Out of all the cells they have down here- they put me next to you?"

"Try not to sleep." Hodge ignored my remark, "The Silent Brothers use mind control to haunt you with nightmares of those you've hurt the most."

This made a small pain erupt in my heart.

Alec.

"You must never sleep then." I snipped, crossing my arms, "You screwed everyone at the Institute over."

"You were right to take my hand, Jace." Hodge called for him as well, "I never should have given the Cup to Valentine- maybe someday you two will forgive me."

"I don't believe in forgiveness, Hodge." Jace said to him, "I just stand by my actions, good or bad, and I accept the consequences."

"Unmerciful to the bone." Hodge recognized, "That's what's always made you the best- and I've seen a lot of it in you too, Zee."

I shrugged to myself, "I'd say it's my best quality."

"But, this place- it'll bleed every ounce of defiance out of you." Hodge exhaled deadly.

"If you think I'm that weak, check again." I snipped at him right away, "They want me to bend, they can die trying."

"Wait until your trial." Hodge dreaded the thought of his own, "After what they do to you- you will be like me."

-

Brother Jeremiah spoke as he placed the Soul Sword in my hands at my trail, as my ankles and wrists were chained up, "You stand before the sword, accused of treason against the Clave, as well as aiding your father, Valentine Morgenstern in a war against the Clave. Be thee innocent or guilty, may the truth free thy soul."

The man that had arrested me, who I had learned his name was Victor Aldertree stood on the lower level, "Have you anything to say before we start?"

I remain silent.

"Let's begin then." He folded his hands and stared at me, "Did you or your brother kill the werewolf Gretel Monroe?"

"No." I replied immediately.

"But, your brother captured her for your father, Valentine Morgenstern, after being encouraged by your spellbound state." Aldertree called me out.

"It wasn't my fault." I looked down, staring at the dark cement, "I was overpowered. I wasn't strong enough to fight the magic."

"I see." Aldertree clears his throat, "It's come to my understanding that you decided to stay at the Institute after Alec Lightwood let you out of your cell- why?"

I didn't see what this had to do with anything, but the Soul Sword forced it out, "I stayed here because I believed I had a place here. I felt like I belonged."

"For the time being." Aldertree eyes me, "How did you feel when you were on your father's ship?"

"I- I was lost." I tried to hold my words back but they came out, "I was almost convinced into thinking I was- evil- that coming here and staying was a mistake because I was born into brutality-"

"Except when you were here, you rebelled against your father and helped us obtain the Mortal Cup." Aldertree recalled, "Why was that?"

"I wanted to get back at him." I gritted my teeth but the words were forced out, "Because he took my memories of everyone I had ever loved after him."

"Are you sure it wasn't because of Alec Lightwood?" asked Aldertree, his eyes squinting, "In fact, to my understanding, you two were involved in a romantic relationship prior to you willingly joining your father once more. Is that true?"

I stuttered, "Yes."

"What about now?" Aldertree questioned, folding his hands behind his back, "Do you fear that your love for him will weaken and prevent you from fulfilling your duty?"

The words slipped out before no matter how hard I tried to stop myself, "I don't know what love feels like."

Aldertree questions, "Do you love your father?"

"I love the dream of the father I wished he'd be." Small tears filled my eyes at the thought, at how vulnerable I was at the moment.

"The kind of father who wouldn't kill a young girl's pet bird? Or wouldn't physically abuse you every time you did something he didn't like?" His words made my expression drop, "Yes- I know more than you think about you and dear dad."

"To love is to destroy." Aldertree exhales deeply, "Quite a harsh lesson for a six-year-old girl."

Aldertree then adds, staring at me, "Do you agree with that sentiment?"

I stutter, "Yes-"

"Do you feel your father's goal to kill all Downworlders is just?" Aldertree continued, "Would you follow in his footsteps?"

"No." I kept my voice steady, "I don't have a problem with Downworlders."

"Final question." Aldertree asked straight, "Can you pledge your unconditional loyalty to the Clave?"

I held back with every cell in me.

"I asked you a question." Aldertree repeated himself, "Can you pledge your unconditional loyalty to the Clave?"

My jaw was clenched and my body began tensing up, trying my best not to break and answer this question.

Aldertree suddenly shouted, "Answer!"

"Yes and no!" I blurted out unexpectedly after the Soul Sword glowed gold in my hands, forcing the answer out of me, "With the way the Clave handles situations, I find it unjust- they resort to immediate death instead of actually dealing with the problem and- I don't know if I can kill my own father."

The Clave dealt with problems as if their only two options were life imprisonment or death, as if someone wouldn't follow in the guilty's shoes.

Aldertree seemed disappointed with my answer, "Based on your testimony- I will unfortunately recommend to the Clave a punishment of life imprisonment."

Aldertree sighs, "May the Angel have mercy on you."

I clench my jaw and grabbed the grip of my Soul Sword, pulling it towards my neck when a sharp pain erupted in my head, making me scream and drop the sword, falling to my knees and clutching my head in pain.

"Thank you, Brother Jeremiah." Aldertree thanked him, then looks down at me, "There will be no martyrs here."

-

"Zee, Hodge-" Jace's voice was low at the sounds of the many screams and sword swishing in the distance, echoing through the halls, "Do you hear that?"

Hodge murmurs in response, as I got up, gripping the bars of my cell, trying to look down the hall, exhaling, "I was hoping it was another nightmare-"

The screaming continued, shuffling footsteps filling the hall when suddenly, Brother Jeremiah was inching toward my cell slowly, a sword in his back, his voice weak, "Please, help us."

Jace gaped, "Brother Jeremiah!"

I fell to my knees when he fell in front of my cell, "What's happening?-"

"Grab his hand!" Hodge immediately instructed, "The lock release on our cells can only be activated if he's alive-"

I grabbed his hand quickly and pressed it against the lock, but it did nothing, as I swallowed hard at the thought, "He's gone-"

"An unfortunate loss, but- he gave me no choice." The all too familiar voice of Valentine Morgenstern filled the air, holding the Soul Sword, pulling the weapon he killed Brother Jeremiah with and sighed, "He wouldn't let it out of his hands."

And behind him, three Circle members pulled Aldertree in, a few more following.

"Hello, Zee-" Valentine stood in front of my cell, then looks over at Jace, greeting us, "Jonathan."

Valentine sighed in disappointment at the two of us, "You see what these people do to you when I'm not around to protect you?"

"I don't need your protection." I snipped right away, "I'm here because you manipulated me- you forced me to be your weapon- to be under your ruling."

"And Jace?" I pointed, "He's in there 'cause you thought in that lunacy mind of yours that making a son with demon blood would've been a good idea."

Valentine eyed me in dismay, "Still so little appreciation after all I've done for you."

"You think it was easy, breaking in here to rescue you?" asked Valentine, staring between Jace and I, "It took effort. I set up a demon attack on the Institute as a diversion."

Aldertree cuts in this time, "You did what?"

"I'm not falling for your lies again." I stepped back, feeling my vulnerability fighting for surface, but I held back, "You're here for the Soul-Sword."

Valentine shook his head, "That's not true-"

"It is." I cut him off, "One thing I've learned about you is that your ambition to achieve your goal will always be greater than your so called love for your children-"

"You both have two options." Valentine sighed at my words, looking between us, "Life in prison at the hands of the Clave, or you can come and fight with me and have purpose."

"Clearly, you can't take a hint." I snapped at him, "I guess jumping off the boat wasn't clear enough."

"Then we'll do it the hard way." Valentine began and nods towards his men, "Take them both."

The members forced Aldertree to unlock Jace and I's cells, Valentine smirking, "Thank you for your assistance-"

Hodge quickly grabbed Valentine by the neck, but by the time Jace and I stepped out of our cells, Valentine had pierced his dagger into his head, Hodge falling over; dead.

"Hodge!" Jace's eyes widen, his voice varying.

My jaw clenched as I kicked the Soul Sword out of Valentine's grip, catching the heavy weapon, flipping it in my palm, walking towards the group of Circle Members as Aldertree tried to fight out of the grip of the two men that held him.

My sword clanked with the two blades that came in contact with mine, Jace fighting off a few members himself.

I grunted as we fought, a small shriek leaving my lips when I was turned around, my arm being maneuvered in a way that it could've broken.

I clench my jaw and kick the man back, facing him, impaling the Soul Sword into both men at the same time.

I pulled it out, noticing the only men standing were the ones holding Aldertree, as I threw the sword in the air, "Jace!-"

Jace caught it and made his way towards Valentine, when a blast of power came flying from behind him, knocking us all off our feet.

"Thank you, Dorothea." Valentine said to Dot when we had saw she was where the blast came from, "At least someone here understands the meaning of the word loyalty."

I practically growled through my teeth, forcing myself up besides the pain, reaching for the seraph blade on the ground, heading for my father when he turned, putting the Soul Sword to my neck, making me stop any movement.

"Go ahead, kill me." I slowly stood up, the sharp metal against my skin, "At least I won't have to suffer the thought of you being my father any longer."

Valentine just stared at me.

"What're you waiting for? Kill me like the bruises and scars you've left on me wasn't enough." My clenched my jaw, keeping my expression straight but my heart hurt, "Prove what kind of father you really are."

Jace stood up, "Don't you dare-"

"Take my children." Valentine let us guard down as Dot opened a portal, "Kill the other one."

One of the members gripped my arm, as I immediately elbowed them in the face and snapped them neck, looking between Jace and Valentine.

Jace was handling one of the Circle members that held Aldertree, as the other one choked Aldertree.

Valentine stares at me, awaiting for me to join him.

"Zee!" Aldertree chokes out, "Get the sword!"

I looked between them once more, before grabbing onto the man that held Aldertree and prying him off, spinning kicking him in the face, grabbing the dagger he held and stabbing him with it.

Right as Jace and I had saved a Aldertree, the portal had closed, leaving us all in silence.

-

"Izzy, if you're in there, please listen to me!" Alec's voice filled my ears when Jace, Aldertree and I were running through the Institute after returning from the City of Bones.

An unknown demonic voice replied to him, Isabelle voice shadowing it, "Nice try."

Then, there was grunts, growls, and gasps, making me move even faster despite the endless pain I felt in my body.

When we ran into the training room was when we saw what was going on.

Alec was on the ground, Isabelle collapsed and unconscious a few inches away from him.

Clary was stood, staring at the black fog that hovered in the sky, defenseless, their weapons on the ground, feet away from them.

The demon Valentine unleashed on the Institute.

I thought quickly when we skid to a stop, snatching Alec's bow and arrow on the ground, standing straight and firing it at the demon, killing it.

I breathed heavily, looking between the three, Alec and Clary gaping at Jace and I being here, Jace and Aldertree behind me, looking just as startled as I was, "What the hell happened?"

authors note:

this chapter actually broke my heart

like zee ended anything and everything with alec to protect him- like literal tears man

also btw if you guys are wondering, margaret isn't gonna be dead, i have other ideas

anyway, thank you for 6k !

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