I was soaked.

I could feel the sand in my boots.

The scratches on my body ached.

And most importantly, I couldn't find Jace.

I needed a phone, I needed to call Isabelle, or Alec, I needed to fill them in on what had happened.

My heart raced at the thought of hearing either one of their voices again because of how much I missed them both.

Something I would never admit to either of them.

I walked into a bar, one that was label the Hunters Moon, looking around at the people scattered.

"Well, you look like you could use a drink." A feminine voice filled my ears, my head snapping towards the bartender, "And a towel."

I looked down and walked further in, swallowing, "Uh- no, just your phone."

She pulled up a glass, "I'd ask what happened to yours, but- I'm guessing it got wet."

"Spot on." I sarcastically scoffed, stopping and looking at her, "It's- a long story."

"Well, I'm stuck here all night, and besides, I hear Shadowhunters love to hear themselves talk." She poured up a cocktail into the glass and looked at me, "What, you didn't think I would recognize those runes on the back of your neck?"

"You're clearly observant." I eyed her, then notice the claw scratch on her neck, "And a werewolf."

"Typically, the phone is for paying customers, but I'm feeling generous, so-" She pushed the cocktail and the phone towards me, "On the house."

"Uh, thanks." I picked up the phone, looking at her, not knowing what to call her, "Uhm-"

"Maia." She smirked, "It's nice to meet you."

I nodded once and grabbed the phone, pressing in Isabelle's number, dialing it, walking over by the window, closing my eyes, whispering, "Pick up-"

After two rings, my parabatai's familiar voice filled the line, "Hello?"

"Izzy-" I exhale deeply, looking out the window, my voice lowered, "It's me-"

"Zee? Oh my god-" Isabelle almost gasped at the sound of my voice, "Are you okay?"

"Just- a little damp." I exhale deeply, putting a strand of my wet hair behind my ear, "Iz, listen- Jace and I escaped Valentine's ship- but, I don't know where he is- I lost him when I hit the water."

Isabelle sounded worried, inhaling, "Zee, we need to get Jace to Alec."

"What?" I ask, "Why?"

"He tried tracking Jace with his parabatai rune, so that he could find you both- but now, it's like he's stuck in some kind of nightmare and can't wake up." Isabelle's words made my heart drop.

"That's why Jace was acting so weird before we jumped off the ship-" I pinch the bridge of my nose, my eyes slightly widening, "Wait- if Alec's in this state- Jace wouldn't have been able to swim if he was experiencing the same thing- Izzy-"

"Jace is alive." Isabelle assured me, "Alec's parabatai rune hasn't faded-"

"Okay." I inhaled, "That's good- I- I'll find Jace, and we'll get there."

"But- you can't." Clary's voice suddenly filled the line, "The Clave still wants you dead."

"Yeah, well, who doesn't?" I scoffed deeply, rolling my eyes, "They can get in line."

"Meet us at Magnus'." Isabelle instructed, "If you can't find Jace- we'll figure it out and we'll figure out how to get Alec there."

"Okay." I agreed, hanging up when I finished speaking, "I'll get there as soon as I can."

"All good?" asked Maia when I hung up.

"Yeah-" I walked over to her and handed her back the phone, "Thanks-"

Maia eyes me, "Didn't seem good."

"It's none of your concern, just- thanks-" I turned to walk away from her and leave.

But, her words stop me, "Cool, 'cause we could use your help- Shadowhunter help."

I sigh and faced her.

"You see Taito back there?" Maia jerked her head in a direction as I looked at him, recognizing him right away, "The Circle took his goddaughter- right in front of him."

The woman on the ship.

Gretel.

I remembered seeing her body being thrown overboard.

She was dead.

When I look back at her, she's staring at me, "So- I was hoping maybe you could help him out."

"That's real tough-" I inhale, "But- I can't-"

"You have something better to do?-" Maia eyes me, "Zee Morgenstern?"

I exhale through my nose, staring at her.

"What, you didn't think I would recognize the infamous Zee Morgenstern?" Maia questioned, "I'm still waiting for an explanation."

"I can't help you." I told her straight up, keeping it short, planning on just making a run for it.

"You need to do your job, Shadowhunter." Maia snapped at me, "You're supposed to protect us."

"I was raised to kill any demon blooded creature." I stepped closer to her, "You really think protecting you is my number one priority right now?"

"I think she is the one that needs protecting." Taito was suddenly behind me and towering over me.

"Are you two trying to get yourselves killed?" I looked between the two, wanting to leave so badly, "I don't want to hurt anyone-"

"That's too bad, 'cause we do." Maia's eyes glowed green, "Who better to put a beating on then Valentine Morgenstern's daughter?-"

I stammered, turning towards Taito, "Look, I-"

Taito clenched his jaw and elbowed me in the face hard, my body stumbling to the side with the amount of force he used at Maia stepped back, another man taking her place.

I grunted and elbowed the man behind me, kicking my foot against Taito as hard as I could, as he only stepped back once, my eyes widening, "Really?-"

The other man landed a solid one on my jaw, as I grunted and grabbed onto the counter, swinging my foot in his face, knocking him down.

I grabbed one of the stools, swallowing hard when I was surrounded by many men.

This wasn't like the fighting ring on the ship.

No matter what I did, I didn't match their strength.

And I was already weak from escaping with Jace.

All I knew was I had to get the hell out of here.

I swung the stool at one of the men, knocking him to the ground but it wasn't long before the stool was broken in half and I was thrown across the island.

I fell onto the ground, groaning as Taito picked me up and threw me against the island, my ribs ramming into them.

I turned and gripped the counter, picking my feet up, kicking him back by his chest but he doesn't move.

My teeth grit as I tried a few more times, but he grabbed me and turned me around, slamming my face into the counter as I stumbled; disoriented.

Taito gripped my hair and slid my face against all the glasses and bottles of liquor, as I grabbed one and slammed it against his head.

But he still doesn't budge.

"Damn it-" I muttered, as he pulled me by my shirt and punched me a few times despite my fight back, throwing me out of the window and back into the broad daylight, shards of glass piercing into my side.

I grunted loudly, pulling out a large pierce from my side, tossing it to the ground before making a run for it.

-

The night had fallen.

It was dark and I was bleeding.

I could barely walk in a straight line, and I felt weak.

And I hadn't found Jace.

I held onto the walls of the narrow alley I walked through, trying to get to Magnus' apartment.

Then, Maia's distant voice sounded from being me with closing in footsteps, "You can't hide your scent, Shadowhunter."

"Damn it-" I breathed, smearing my blood on the walls as I began to stumble forward, trying to get away from her as fast as possible.

But, she kept getting closer.

I clenched my teeth and ran to the sidewalk, falling onto the ground, not being able go any longer.

"Wow, you okay?" A man was helped me into a sitting position and leaning me against the mail box, my vision blurry, "You okay?"

I stammered, trying to get up, "I-"

"I'm calling 911." The man kept me down as different mundane started to crowd around me, dialing the number on his phone, "Everything will be okay-"

"No- no, I'm fine- don't-" I tried to stop him, trying to move, "I-"

"Don't worry, ma'am, you're gonna be okay." The man said, speaking into his phone, "Yeah, hi, I need an ambulance."

"This woman's bleeding real bad- looks like she was in an accident." He said into his phone, "I'm at the Union Street station- by the subway entrance."

-

"Room four, stat!" I heard a man's voice when I was brought back to consciousness, a groan in pain leaving my lips.

I squint my eyes when I opened them, many lights blurring my vision as I was being wheeled through a hospital, "I'm okay-"

"She's waking up!" A woman called out to the doctor.

"I gotta get to my friends- I have to find my friend-" I was grunting out, trying to sit up, groaning with every movement, "I'm fine- I have to-"

"Give her ten milligrams of morphine." The doctor instructed as I felt a pinch in my arm.

"You don't understand-" I stuttered, practically begging as I was belted down, "He could be dead- he's gonna die-"

The nurse looked at me as they wheeled me into another department, "My job is to save you, not your friends."

-

"Excuse me." Luke's muffled voice filled my ears when my eyes opened to a bright light, "Any chance you've seen this person? We got a tip that she might be in the ER."

I focused my vision by blinking a few times, noticing me being hooked up to a few machines, bandages over my wound on my side, in a room.

Then, I saw Maia standing next to Luke through the window, and that's when I knew I had to book it.

I pulled the wires out of me, scrambling up to my feet and rushing out the room, looking for some sort of cover.

I grabbed one of the doctors coats and putting it on, turning my back towards them.

"Over there." The nurse from before pointed, "She came in a few hours ago, but- we still need to run a few tests before we can clear-"

"It's okay." Luke went into the room I was admitted in with Maia, "We just wanna have a quick chat."

Then, Maia and Luke came out the room, "Look around- she's gotta be here somewhere."

Maia walks past me, not noticing me as I blended in with the doctors, turning the corner.

I rushed after her and turned the opposite direction quickly, pulling off the doctors coat and tossing it to the side when I heard the nurse from before shout, "Hey, you!"

"Damn it-" I muttered and face her, seeing Maia down the hall, who was smirking as she had found me.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the nurse as she walks closer to me, "Look, I'm sorry about your friend, but- I already told-"

"You don't understand." I took a step back, looking at her, "I gotta get out of here- right now-"

"You're not going anywhere." The nurse argues back, "With the amount of blood you've lost, you're lucky to be alive- if you'd gotten to us a few hours later, you'd be-"

But, I was no longer paying attention to her.

My eyes were glued to Maia from the moments I heard her bones cracking and her growls.

She had turned.

"What the hell is that sound?" The nurse heard it too and turned to see Maia, "Oh, my God-"

I sigh and came in front of the nurse as she ran off, "Let the mundane go."

"Look, I get it- I'm Valentine's daughter, I was under his control for years- and you have every reason to want me dead, but- if you just let me explain-" I began, trying to solve this in a more civil way, but Maia snarled and began running towards me.

"Okay, so- no to the explanation-" I threw a shelf in her way and bolted down the hall, opening the door to the stairs, slamming the door shut.

I ran up all the flights of stairs, trying to kick the door open as I heard Maia's growls coming closer and closer along with her pants.

"Damn it!-" I shouted, trying to pry it open, but it was no use as I turned, seeing Maia only one flight away from me, reading to leap up and onto me.

Then, the door suddenly flew open, an arm grabbing me and pulling me back, shutting the door and drawing the unlock rune on it, as I was turned to face the person, Jocelyn Fray stood in front of me, pulling me away from the door, "Zee-"

I held my side and pulled away from her, angry, "How'd you find me?"

"I followed the wolves." Jocelyn admitted, looking down at me, "Alec needs you to be there when he wakes up- we need to find Jonathan, I'm here to help."

"Like you did last time when you shot an arrow at my head?" I snapped at her in disbelief, "I haven't spent much time with my mother but I know damn well that trying to kill her own children aren't part of her maternal instincts-"

"Zee-" Jocelyn exhales deeply, looking between my eyes, "You and Jonathan have always been in my heart, and I know you may not think that after what I did, but-"

My teeth grit, "His name is Jace."

"I'm so sorry." Jocelyn was apologizing, "What your father did to you, the choices I had to make-"

"Yeah, well, I guess we both drew the short straw." I stared at her, rolling my eyes, "Life lesson, don't fall in love with the devil, right?"

"And you've suffered the most." Jocelyn considered, making my anger slightly simmer down due to her recognizing this, "He did so much to you- and I can't change what happened-"

Jocelyn then sighs at my silence, "Just let me help you get back to Alec."

I scoff deeply at her words, "And back to the Clave, who wants me dead?"

"The Clave can be reasoned with- the wolves can't." Jocelyn reasoned with me, touching my arms, "Just let me do this one thing for you- for my-"

"I'm not your daughter." I seethed through my teeth and pulled back from her hold, "Don't you ever try to claim me as your own- I actually feel sorry for the redhead."

Jocelyn stares at me, neglect flashing in her eyes, "You helped Clary wake me up-"

"Yeah- except, that was before I found out you wanted me dead." I snipped and stepped back, "You know, I made it this far on my own- I think I'll keep it that way."

Then I turned and leaped off the roof, landing on my feet and rushing off as quickly as I could.

-

I wandered through the alley's, breathing heavily from just booking it from the hospital.

I hadn't found Jace yet, but I had assumed that he had been on his way to Magnus' apartment as well.

I had hoped.

I'm so close to Magnus' apartment.

So close.

Then, I see someone ahead of me, sneakily moving from the corner they were just behind, walking down the alley.

But, I could recognize his blond hair from anywhere.

"Jace?" I called out his name, coming to a stop.

The body spun, revealing the mess I had gotten separated from when we leaped off the ship, "Zee?-"

"Oh my god-" I rushed toward him immediately, throwing my arms around him without realizing, "I thought you were dead-"

Jace lifted me off the ground, holding onto me tightly as we clung to each other despite the pain aching in our bodies, "I thought you were- I couldn't find you when I was swept up on the shore- I-"

I closed my eyes and held onto him tighter, truly feeling relieved and happy that I had reconnected with him.

"Jace- we have to get you to Magnus'" I pulled away from him, "Alec, he-"

"I know-" Jace held my arms, "I know- let's go-"

Jace places a hand on my back and lead me forward, but we both came to a stop when Maia stood across from us, two wolves at her side, "End of the line."

I huffed, "So close-"

Jace looked back when two other wolves surrounded us, "And yet, so far."

Maia looked between us, "Now- we can knock two birds with one stone."

"Gretel was our pack member." Maia stepped closer, "And she was my friend- you need to pay for what you did to her."

"I didn't kill her!" Jace raises his voice at her as if he had spoken to her before, "Valentine used me, just like he's using you right now."

Because he had.

She was after the both of us.

"You're using the fact that he was manipulated as false proof that he killed Gretel." I stepped closer, "Valentine killed Gretel and threw her overboard."

"That's what happened-" Jace swallowed, "Us fighting with each other is only giving him what he wants."

"Really?" Maia scoffed in humor, "Give me one good reason why I should believe you."

"Because I know what it's like to lose someone you love!" Jace raises his voice at her, his voice cracking, gesturing to me, "I lost my best friend- for years- and when she came back, she had no idea who I was."

My head snaps towards Jace, my heart softening.

Maia clenched her jaw, "At least she's not dead."

"Sure." Jace said, "But, I have to live with the fact that she'll never remember how we were when we were younger- that she'll never remember the times that she was actually happy."

His words hurt me.

They made my heart ache.

"Listen- my brother is counting on me." Jace sounded defeated. "Just- let Zee go- and you can kill me-just let me get to him first."

"Jace-" I whispered shouted at him immediately stubbornly, "I'm not letting that happen- I'm not leaving you-"

As much as I wanted to hide it, my vulnerability was exposed.

I had always acted like they would've never gotten me on their side or convinced me against my father.

But, in reality, I had never wanted to be anywhere else more.

"Well, I wish I could, but, uh-" Maia began, gesturing to the wolves, "It's them you'll have to convince."

"Stop!" Clary's voice filled our ears as she came running with Luke.

Luke shouted, "Stand down!"

"Keep out of this, Luke." Maia warned.

One of the wolves leaped towards Jace and I, the sound of a portal opening filling our ears as a whip wrapped around the wolves neck, pulling it down, "Stay."

"Good doggy." Isabelle Lightwood smirked when the wolf listened, taking charge, "By the order of the Clave, Zee Young and Jace Wayland are coming with me!"

I missed her.

"Maia." Luke's eyes glowed green, "I said stand down."

Maia obeyed.

"Thanks, Izzy." Jace exhaled. "We owe you one."

Isabelle looked down, "Don't thank me yet."

-

"He can't last much longer." I heard Magnus' soft murmur to Isabelle when I walked into his living room, my eyes landing onto Alec's pale, sweaty body.

"Oh my god-" I couldn't speak louder than a whisper, rushing over quickly, my eyes wide with concern, crouching next to where he laid, "Alec-"

My eyes scanned his appearance.

I gently grabbed his face, fear filling within me that he wouldn't make it, my eyes glued to his face.

I hadn't been so scared my entire life.

And that was something new.

"Please come back." I was whispering, my hand messing with a strand of his hair, fixing it, "Please."

He helped me the most.

I didn't know what I'd do without him.

Then Jace walked into the room.

I looked up at him, standing up and stepping back, "Whatever you're gonna do, do it now."

"Alec." Jace slowly walked closer as Magnus handed him the stone that started this whole mess.

Jace crouched by Alec, grabbing his lifeless hand, holding the stone between their palms, as it glowed gold.

"Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee." Jace suddenly began reciting his parabatai oath, staring at Alec.

Before Jace could go any further, Alec's body stiffened, his breathing cutting, the stone falling to the ground.

Isabelle's eyes went wide, "What's happening?"

Magnus stares, "He's slipping."

Clary stammers, "No-"

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to deal with the pain in my chest.

"Thy people will be my people, thy God will be my God." Jace grabbed Alec's face gently with his hand, "When thou diest, I will die."

"And there will I be buried." Jace was tearing up, "The Angel do so to me."

Then, the gold light in the black stone faded.

And Alec's head fell out of Jace's embrace.

As he went limp.

Exhaling slowly, letting out his last breath.

I couldn't muster out any words, and tears were brimming in my eyes even despite my attempts to keep them held back.

My father was right.

They had made me soft, all of them.

But, most especially Alec.

And I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him.

To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

This is how it felt.

If this pain was love, I knew why my father wanted to keep me away from it all.

But, there was so many goods things about it too.

Except, was it worth the pain?

"And more also, if aught but death part thee and me." Jace was quietly crying when he pulled his parabatai to his chest, "Please don't leave me, Alec."

I put my hand over my mouth.

Alec was gone.

Magnus noticed the look on my face, wrapping an arm around me slowly, pulling me into his embrace.

I didn't protest.

A tear fell from my eye as he shielded me from Clary and Isabelle so they didn't see that I had broke.

My breathing stopped when I heard Alec's whisper, "If aught but death part thee and me."

A sigh of relief left my lips, when Jace slowly pulled away to see Alec's eyes opened, hugging onto his parabatai tightly.

My hand flew to my cheek, wiping the tear that fell from my eye, sniffling, wiping my eyes quickly as I slowly pulled away from Magnus.

Then I heard Alec say my name, "Zee-"

His voice was quiet and raspy, but it was there.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here-" I moved quickly to him when Jace pulled away from Alec, crouching next to where he laid, "I'm right here-"

"You're here- you're okay-" Alec was scanning my expression and grabbing my face, pulling me closer to him, gently pressing his lips into mine, this being the first thing he does.

My heart leaped out of my chest, holding his wrists as he kissed me, realizing how much I missed it.

How much I missed this feeling.

A thick accent filled our ears, making us pull away, "Zee Young and Jace Wayland!"

I stood straight and looked back, stood with Jace when a man walked in with four men backing him, "You are both hereby sentenced to the City of Bones to await trial for the charge of high treason and aiding Valentine in the war against the Clave."

"Wait, what-" Alec's weak voice sounded, "What the hell is going on?"

"It's all right, Alec." I looked at him as two guards grabbed me, holding onto me tightly.

"All that matters is you're back." Jace took the words right out of my mouth as he was grabbed as well, the both of us being dragged out of Magnus' apartment.

authors note:

i'm sorry for the late update !!

i loved this chapter

there is not a chapter of this book that i don't love

there's just so much content

the zace content, oh my god the brotp is rising

and the first thing alec does when he sees zee is kiss her ? I've gone soft

anyway, thank you for 5k!

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