"You set him up to kill that vampire!" I immediately raised my voice at our father, when we came out the other side of the portal, back on Valentine's ship.

"Your brother killed her because it was the right thing to do." Valentine begged to differ, pulling out the two arrows he had taken for us, "The world's a safer place without that thing wreaking havoc."

"It wasn't right-" I argued, gesturing around to all the imprisoned Downworlders, "None of this is right!"

"They've tricked you into thinking that it isn't-" Valentine argued, "Would you rather turn her over to the Clave to stand trial?"

"That is my job!" Jace confronted, "The Law is hard, but it is the Law-"

"The Law." Valentine said with him, "Yet the Clave does nothing, nothing to enforce that."

"Downworlders multiply with a bite or a scratch, while our numbers dwindle year after year." Valentine healed his wounds with his Iratze, "If we don't do something, a den like that one is gonna be on every corner on every street in the world."

Valentine looked between Jace and I, as we were silent, "This is the only way."

I shook my head, walking past him, "You're wrong."

"The only reason you think that is because your mother has you thinking against the greater good." argued Valentine when Jace joined my side, "Look, I know you both even better than you know yourselves."

"You don't know me- you don't know us, at all." I immediately counteracted, "Just because you raised us does not change the fact that you manipulated both of us."

"You both saved my life." Valentine shot the truth right in our faces, making me go dead silent, "You could've Portaled me anywhere, handed me over to the Clave in Idris, but- did you?"

Neither Jace or I could reply.

"No, because deep down inside, you know that-" Valentine looks between us, "I'm right."

"You're wrong." My voice fell raspy and low, as I walked past him, leaving him with Jace.

-

[ alec's pov ]

"Alec, are you okay?" Clary's irritable voice filled my ears when she walked into the training room to find me repeatedly hitting he punching back in anger.

I breathed heavily, leaning against the punching bag, only glancing at her, "Pretty bold of you to show your face here."

Clary inhales, "I can explain-"

"Unless your explanation can bring Zee or Jace back, save it." I looked away and hit the punching bag once more, but harder, my arms numb already.

"Alec, Jace is my brother, too." Clary stuttered in surprise, "Zee's my sister-"

"You barely know them." I stopped, facing her, anger threaded in my voice, "I grew up with them- I fought by their side- I felt the pain when Zee was kidnapped, I felt the pain when she came back to not know who any of us were- you never knew her- you never knew them til a few weeks ago-"

"Alec-" Clary was stammering, "Alec, I want Zee and Jace back as much as you do, I- I am not my mother."

"How well do I even know you?" I scoffed deeply at her words, "I mean, you show up out of nowhere, you convince my brother, you convince me, I mean- you even convince Zee to help search for your mother."

"Even when she had her own problems to deal with- of being manipulated by her own father, Valentine taking her memories of her mother, Jace, Isabelle- me." I continued, "And she still helped you search and wake your mother."

"And the next thing I know, both Zee and Jace is gone." I seethed through my teeth, "And your mother is the one trying to kill them."

"I had nothing to do with that, Alec." Clary was tearing up at my words, "I would never hurt either of them-"

"Since you've arrived, you've caused nothing but problems." I stepped closer to her, "My family lost their birthright, Zee was arrested and was almost deruned- and now Valentine has both her and my parabatai- and it's all because of you."

"Alec- I'm sorry." Clary spluttered, not knowing how to reply to my confrontation, letting out all the anger I had on her for the past few weeks.

Isabelle stepped in, "Alec, this isn't her fault."

"When are you gonna realize you don't belong here?" I snipped at Clary, "You never have."

Isabelle cut in again, "Alec."

I ignored her and walked past Clary, leaving them.

-

[ zee's pov ]

I wiped the blood from my mouth as I made my way over to Jace on the lower level of the ship, a pain in my jaw, my hands still wrapped.

Jace's eyes fell onto me, "What happened?-"

"I needed to punch something-" I unwrapped my hands, dropping the bloody wraps on the ground, signaling I had been back in the ring.

Jace inhales deeply when I hissed in slight pain due to the cut in my eyebrow, and snags a stele from one of the members, healing me with my Iratze.

My eyes scanned around the room, Downworlders that were imprisoned clamored against their cages as the metal rattled.

Then, I notice a hard look on one of the men's face.

"If you're thinking of trying to escape, don't." I walked over to him, Jace following me, "With the wards around this ship- you'd be fried."

"I want to be here." He looked back at us, "I can't wait to get out and start killing Downworlders."

"Trust me." Jace scoffed lightly, shaking his head, "It's not as glorious as you think."

"Screw glory- I want justice." The man faced us both, "I lost my father 'cause of these monsters."

Jace exhales as I remained silent, "I'm sorry."

The man looked at me, "Valentine said if the Clave did their job, he'd still be alive right now."

I clench my jaw, "Valentine-"

"I see you've met Jeremy." As if on cue, Valentine joined us, nodding towards Jeremy, "The others are gearing up for tonight's mission, you should get ready."

I looked between them, "Mission?"

"Part of our first phase." Valentine smirked, "While we're increasing in numbers, we're also finding suitable Downworlders to hold on to for research."

I scoff, "You're sick-"

"You should join them." Valentine cut off and ignored my comment, "They could use a good leader like you- you can bring your brother along."

I stepped back, shaking my head, "I don't lead hunts for innocent Downworlders."

"Innocent?" Valentine repeated, "Like that vamp, Maria, who almost killed your brother?"

"That was different." Jace argues, backing me up, "This is commandeering innocent people away from their families."

"Don't be naive, Jonathan." Valentine scoffed deeply, "See, you were trained to see Downworlders as your allies and that I'm your worst enemy."

Valentine looked at me, "And they've changed you into being just like them- but, you've let them brainwash you."

"Nothing's changed." I snip at the man who was unfortunately my father, "Everything's just out in the open."

"Look, I'm not asking you to do this for me." Valentine stepped closer to Jace and I, "I'm asking for humanity."

I grit my teeth, shouldering past him, my voice low, "Then screw humanity."

"The answer's no." Jace made it clear, then followed me, walking away from the two.

-

My fist came in contact with the man's jaw, in the ring for the second time today, blood dripping down the side of my face.

The man threw me against the fence, a small shriek leaving my lips, as he landed a few solids on my face.

A few that I let.

I grabbed onto the fence, my hands sore as I pulled myself off the ground and kicked my feet hard against his jaw, sending him flying back and away from me.

I let go and landed on my feet, spitting blood to the side, wiping blood from my bleeding lip.

When he gets up, I spin kick for his head, one he stops, as I pushed myself off the fence and wrap both legs around his neck, flipping back and bring him down to the ground with me.

I turned him onto his back and starts repeatedly punching him in the face, his blood splattering everywhere.

I wanted to stop before I had killed him.

But, the anger in my blood made me keep going.

I wanted to be at the Institute.

With my mother.

With Alec and Isabelle.

I wanted Jace there.

I wanted to be with Magnus.

God, I even wanted to be with the redhead.

Anything was better than the life I had here.

I missed them so much, and before them, I didn't know I could ever feel any sort of emotion that way.

Before Alec, I didn't know I could feel anything besides anger and sadness.

Before Isabelle, I never thought I'd have that type of connection with anyone.

They changed my life.

Changed everything about me.

But, I always found my way back here.

Because this is where I meant to be.

To be devoted to Valentine Morgenstern.

And I hated that.

"Do you ever take a break?" A woman's broken voice teared me away from my deep thoughts, my fists stopping when I realized what I had done to the man, the pain erupting in my hands.

My head snapped toward the voice, noticing the familiar face, standing up slowly, stepping away from the dead man I was hovering over.

I wiped the blood from my nose, stepping out of the ring, "Who the hell are you?"

"My name's Dot." I put her name to her familiar expression, the warlock that was my father's prisoner, "I was friends with you once."

"And then I lost my memories of anything and everything I've ever loved?" I scoff deeply and unwrapped my hands, tossing them to the side.

Dot inhales, "I want you to see something."

"What?" I eyed her, inhaling deeply.

"There are things that you can do as a Shadowhunter, but- there's so much more you're capable of." Dot walks closer to me and holds her hands out for my head, "Let me show you."

"What're you-" I began to back away, but Dot quickly grabbed onto my head, my eyes widening with what had come over me that she caused.

-

"Jace." I walked over to him on the ship as he looked out at the water, "I have to talk to you."

Jace looks back at me, noticing the bruises and cuts on my face, "What the hell happened?-"

"Nothing, I'm fine-" I grabbed his arms lightly, "That warlock- Dot- she wanted to show me something."

"Dot?" Jace stammered, "She's alive?"

"Jace, I- I know this sounds insane, but- I can see the future." I told him, stepping close.

"No, that's not- that's not possible." Jace shook his head lightly and wiped the blood from my face, "Shadowhunters can't do that, Zee-"

"Then I guess I'm not your ordinary Shadowhunter." I suddenly snapped at him, "Neither are you."

Jace exhales, "What did you see?"

"The Downworlders." I inhaled, "They slaughter the mundanes, one by one, until there's no one left."

"And, Jace, with your demon blood, and my pure angel blood- we're the only ones that can stop them." I pressed, looking between his eyes.

Jace shook his head lightly in denial, "This isn't you talking- it can't be-"

"My children." Valentine suddenly joined us, making me step away from Jace, "Are you gonna join Jeremy?"

I stammer, "What?"

"He's going big game hunting." Valentine puts his hands behind his ears, "We just got intel on the wolf that killed Jeremy's father- we're gonna bring the beast back to the boat."

Jace and I remained silent.

"Come on- why don't you hone those Shadowhunting skills of yours, huh?" asked Valentine, "Just come along."

"No- she's exhausted." Jace seemed protective over me, even when I didn't need it, walking past, "I'll go."

-

All too recognizable shouts of the many imprisoned Downworlder's filled my ears when I felt myself come back to consciousness.

A sharp pain erupted in my chest as I felt myself on the hard ground, slowly clutching my head as I pulled myself onto my knees.

Footsteps approached me, making my eyes open, adjusting to the blurriness to see Dot.

"Back the hell up-" I grunted, getting up quickly, stumbling back, "What did you do to me?"

Dot stopped, "I'm so sorry, Zee."

"What the hell did you do to me?" I snipped at her, my hands dropping to my sides, "That wasn't me talking up there with Jace-"

Dot shook her head lightly, "Valentine made me cast a spell on you so that you'd do as I'd say."

"You used me- to convince Jace-" I scoff deeply, stepping back, putting two and two together.

Valentine knew Jace was banking on my denial.

If he had me tell Jace otherwise, Jace would fall into his sick little game.

Our father was smart.

"And I have to do it again." Dot reaches for my head, "It wears off quickly on Shadowhunters."

"No!" I raised my voice and backed up, unarmed, "You don't have to do this."

Dot had me cornered, "If I don't, he'll get angry, and we don't want that-"

"I can handle him-" I grabbed both her wrists, "If we truly knew each other- if we were friends- you wouldn't just- give into my father's control!"

This made Dot go quiet.

"Despite what my father has done to you- I know you're a different person." I pushed, "You don't need to do this."

Dot stood still, staring at me, all the injections and experiments clear to see.

"I may not have memories of you- but, I know you have those memories." I continued, staring at her, "Think of those."

Dot paused and looked down, stepping back.

"Dot, help me get out of here." My eyes watched her every move, "We may not be able to go back to the way things were, but- it doesn't have to be like this."

"You don't understand." Dot looked back up at me, "He will find us."

"We will stay with Magnus, hide behind his wards." I offered, pressing, "Here's a word no one ever hear's me say- please?"

-

"Don't lie to me." Jace's low voice filled my ears, his blade up to a woman's neck, darkness in the sky.

I held a seraph blade tightly in my hand, one I had snagged from a Circle member on the lower level, Dot next to me as we separated when whatever was happening came in sight.

"Please don't kill me." The woman begged, her white hair everywhere, "I've obeyed the Accords- I'm part of Luke's pack, we don't hurt anyone- we're not like that."

"A wolf will say anything to go free, but she can never change what she is." Valentine pressed at Jace, "You let her live, son, and she will kill again and again and again."

"Shut the hell up-" I pointed my seraph blade at my father, inching closer to them, "Don't say another word."

Jace let down his sword when he saw me, his eyes glued to me when I joined them.

"Zee, how nice of you to join us." Valentine looked at me, "Perhaps you can convince your brother to finish what he started- or, you can finish it for him."

"Jace, you need to listen to me." I looked at my brother, holding my seraph blade tight, "You were right earlier- that wasn't me talking, I was under a spell."

"Jace, I thought we'd never get out of here- but, I was wrong." I stared into his eyes, my voice steady, and lowering, "Now we run."

Jace immediately grabbed my hand, pulling me along which I let him even if normally I wouldn't, a group of Circle members running towards us.

"Zee, Jonathan!" Valentine didn't move but called our after us anyway, "There's no way out."

I flipped my sword in my hand, letting go of Jace's hand and launching myself towards the group, fighting off three members at the same time, as Jace fought the same amount.

I grunted, fighting them as best I could, killing them one by one, their blood splattering everywhere, staining my clothes.

I joined Jace, killing off the last member he was dealing with, my head snapping towards Dot who had opened a hole big enough in the wards for Jace and I to jump through, nodding toward me once.

"Zee!" Valentine called from behind us, "Jonathan!"

"Come on, Jace-" I stepped toward Dot, Jace coughing next to me, making me stop and look at me, noticing the blood dripping down his nose, "Jace, are you okay?"

Jace coughed harder and fell into me, as I quickly caught him, holding him up, my eyes slightly wide, "What the hell is going on?-"

"Zee, Jonathan, come back here!" Valentine was now walking towards us, shouting louder than ever, "There's nowhere to run!"

"Jace, this is our only chance- we have to go now!" I pulled him along, dropping the seraph blade as he did as well, touching his bloody nose, "Jace!"

Jace grunts, pushing through, grabbing my hand tightly as we ran for the ledge and jumped off the ship, our bodies hitting the cold, freezing water.

authors note:

i loved this chapter, so much

like jace literally acting like zee's older brother, literally has me so soft for them

but alec going off on clary? pure gold

also, I'm sorry for such a late update, aghhhh, I know I'm terrible

but it's fine, I'm back on schedule

anyway, thank you so much for 4k!

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