"Then they put Jace in, and that can't be, you know-" I heard Alec quietly speaking to someone as I walked into the Ops Center, my eyes landing on him right away.

He then sees me, as I immediately broke eye contact and began walking away quickly, not wanting to speak to him.

I was dressed in a crimson red long sleeve knitted sweater, one that was V neck, loose and ended right where my hips began, high waisted black jeans, and black combat boots.

"Just, hold on, one second-" Alec told them, heading over to me and standing right in front of me, blocking my way, "Where the hell have you been?"

"How is it any of your concern?" I began moving fast him, "Let's talk when you're not going out of your mind-"

"Zee." Alec grabbed my arm, stopping me, leaning into my ear, his voice deep, raspy and low, sending chills down my spine, "Jace and Clary are on the run- I can't protect you if you don't tell me the truth."

I turned my face slightly so I was staring directly in his eyes, my voice just as low, our faces almost inches apart, "Haven't I made it clear enough that I don't need anyone's protection?"

"Hey, just, tell me this." Alec sighs deeply, his voice falling to a quieter tone, "Is there any way that Raj could have seen anything incriminating?"

"If Isabelle didn't tell you anything, don't expect anything from me." I pulled my arm from his hold, shouldering past him, walking away as Lydia watched me while questioning Raj.

-

I sat on a table in the Ops Center, one leg folded up, one leg hanging off of it.

I held a tablet in my hands, my right arm resting against my leg as I looked through the reports once more, double checking that everything was correct on it.

Alec stood a few feet away from me, his side to me as he stared at the monitor, his arms crossed.

Isabelle was a few feet away as well, holding a tablet of her own, keeping her distance from Alec.

Lydia entered the Ops Center with Raj behind here, stopping behind Alec, "I'm sorry."

Alec looks back at her, watching her and Raj walk past him, "For what?"

When I notice them walking toward me, I place the tablet down and slipped off the table, standing straight.

"Zee Morgenstern, by order of the Clave, you are under arrest for high treason." I almost cringed at how she said my true full name, clenching my jaw.

I blink, doing a double take, "I'm what?"

Raj comes behind me, hand cuffing my wrists toward behind my back.

"What?" Alec walked over to us, defensively speaking on my behalf, "On what grounds?"

Isabelle's attention was caught as well as Margaret's, as they walked over quickly, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Lydia stood still, "Only a handful of people knew about the Meliorn op."

Raj looks down at me, pulling out my stele from my back pocket, "And everyone knows she's a Morgenstern."

"Assuming I lead the ambush based on what family I come from." I stared at Lydia dead in the eye, unaffected, "You've got yourself a real catch, Alec."

Isabelle scoffs in disbelief, "You're taking her into custody because of the type of blood that runs in her veins?"

"Zee's a Young." Margaret added in, "Don't you dare claim her as a Morgenstern to prove a point."

"But, she is a Morgenstern." Lydia looked between us all, "That's just who she is, and exactly why she can't be trusted."

"If she is convicted, she'll be stripped of her runes and banished." Alec stares down at fiancée, "I can't let that-"

"Don't." I stopped him as Raj pulled me away.

-

"Keep it short." Raj's voice filled my ears, as someone entered Lydia's office that I was being held in alone.

When they stood behind me, I knew exactly who it was, feeling his presence making my heart flip.

I blink hard, turning to face Alec, "Didn't I tell you not to speak to me until you weren't going out of your mind?"

"Zee." Alec sighs, "Jace stole the Cup."

I stare at him, unaffected by what he had just told me, his eyes squinting in suspicion.

"I'm sorry- was I supposed to react?" I blink, crossing my arms, "This is old news to me."

"Zee, did you know about this?" Alec's eyes scan my expression, "My God, did you help him?"

My face twists in humor and slight annoyance, shooting him a look, "It was my idea."

Alec crosses his arms; infuriated, "The Cup is the only thing that can get you out of this."

I turn away from him once more, "Jace is doing what he thinks is right, and I stand by that."

"What's right?" Alec repeats my words, moving around me and standing directly in front of me.

"He put the whole Shadow World in danger- he put you in danger." Alec emphasized, getting angrier at his parabatai with every word he mustered out.

"We have to get him back here, with the Cup." Alec said it straight, "It's the only thing that can help you."

"You said it yourself, Jace and Clary are on the run." I stared at him, "Plus, they've taken Meliorn back to the Seelie realm, you can't track him there."

Alec stares at me for a moment, then walks past me, "Not by any of the normal ways."

Then, I realize what he meant.

"No-" I spun to face him, my arms dropping, "Don't tell me you're going to do what I think you're going to do."

Alec stops, faces me and doesn't say a word, only confirming what I thought.

"That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and you told me about getting engaged to the Branwell bitch of the decade, so that's saying a lot." I said to him, as he didn't even make any attempt to defend his fiancée, "You can't use your parabatai bond to track Jace- even if it is to protect me."

Especially since I didn't need his protection.

Except he always came through with it.

I shook my head in disapproval, "If you do this, not only could it weaken both of you, it could break the bond."

"Jace already weakened it." Alec snipped back at me and took a step closer so he was directly in front of me, "How does he think I can trust him after what he did?"

I stepped closer as if our bodies were already close enough, staring into his eyes in accusation, "Why the hell are you destroying everything you have left with him for me?"

Alec's words hit me like a truck, making me forget just for a moment that he had dodged my question, "If anyone's going to derune and banish you, they're going through me first."

-

I paced back and forth, my arms crossed.

It had been a little while since I had spoken to Alec, and had spoken to Isabelle as well, as she had tried to convince Alec not go through with it.

But, there was this unsettling feeling in my chest.

I walked over to the opened door where Raj stood, guarding it, "I need you to escort me out of here."

Raj shook his head, "Not happening."

"I need to talk to Alec." My tone was more stern.

"It's not happening, Young." Raj shook his head once more, "I have orders."

"Raj, last chance." I point at the window, "I will jump through that window right now."

Raj stares at me, not buying it, "You won't."

"You asked for it." I muttered, running towards the window and throwing myself against the glass, it shattering as I fell through.

I fell, landing on my feet on the ground, a burst of vibration filling my bones at the velocity I fell at, almost making me loose my balance.

I shook the glass out of my hair, touching the small cut on my forehead, dusting myself off before walking into the Institute through the front.

"Hey!" I heard a masculine voice, his hand grabbing my arm to stop me, suddenly catching everyone's attention, "How did you escape?-"

I grabbed his arm with both my hands and flipped him onto his back, walking through the Ops Center, heading straight for the infirmary.

"I'm not letting Jace sacrifice Zee for his girlfriend's pointless crusade." Alec's voice was distant from the infirmary, "We're doing this, and if you don't want to help, get out."

"I'll help but on one condition." Hodge's voice followed, as I could see them standing with Lydia.

Alec questions, "What?"

"You don't let it go too far." Hodge places his condition, "Now, your bond with Jace can withstand a certain amount of strain- but, you have to promise me that you won't let it break."

Countless of Shadowhunters were chasing after me, trying to tackle me or get me restrained, as I didn't give them a chance to, dodging each and every attempt, knocking every one of them out of my way.

Margaret stood with Isabelle, watching me with astonished eyes, a small smirk on her lips as if she was proud of me.

By now, I had caught Lydia, Alec, and Hodge's attention as they stood by a bed in the infirmary.

God, I didn't even know why I cared so much anymore.

"Alec!" I called out, being pulled back by Raj and another Shadowhunter by my arms right before I got take a step on the stairs, a few more joining them just to keep me held back, "You can't do this."

Raj held onto me tightly, "She escaped by jumping through the window, I couldn't stop her."

"I only jumped because you didn't escort me out!" I raised my voice at him, looking back at Alec, "Alec, don't destroy whatever you have left for me- it's not worth it."

Alec continued unbuttoning his shirt, staring at me dead in the eye, "Jace is dead to me."

By now, Margaret and Isabelle joined us, Isabelle's eyes wide at her brother, "Alec?"

Lydia adds in, as if she didn't want him to do this either, "You don't know how dependent you are on the bond, or how dependent you are on each other."

"I have to do this." Alec pulled off his shirt and for a second I got distracted, "For Zee."

I was caught off guard, my eyes scanning from his board shoulders, down to his define collarbones and bare chest.

I blinked, snapping out of it.

But, I knew Isabelle and Margaret noticed.

"Alec, no!" I was jerked back into Raj when I tried to pull away, "I don't want you to do this."

"This isn't your choice." Alec laid on the bed, getting comfortable, "Do it."

I pushed myself up the steps and flipped back, pushing my feet against Raj and the other Shadowhunter's chests, pushing them back with full force, knocking down the other two and landing on my feet.

As Raj got up to grab me again, Lydia stopped him, "Enough."

I didn't even thank her for it.

I jumped up the steps and over to the bed Alec laid on, "I won't let you do this, not for me-"

"Prepare yourself." Hodge exhales deeply, "This will be very, very painful."

My eyes widen with alert, looking up at him, "Painful?"

Alec exhales deeply, "I don't want her to watch this-"

Lydia sighs deeply and nods once, "Take her back to where she was being held, and make sure she doesn't escape this time."

Before I could protest, Raj hit me in the back of the head, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as he carried me back to where I was being held so I couldn't fight back.

-

Margaret stepped into the office after Raj closed the door behind her, her eyes scanning me, "Your head okay?"

"It still hurts." I murmured, pinching the bridge of my nose as I sat on the couch after waking up a little while ago, "I'd kick Raj's ass if I wasn't already being persecuted."

Margaret sat on the table in front of me, handing me her stele, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Thanks." I exhale deeply and pull up my sweater a little, using my Iratze, the pain in my head, along with the small cut on my forehead disappearing, as I handed it back to her.

Margaret put it away, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Alec jeopardized whatever he had left with his best friend for a girl that's been resented for being Valentine's daughter." I slouched in my seat with a sigh, crossing my arms, "I don't know why he's doing this- I don't understand."

Margaret stares at me, a weak smile on her lips.

She was staring at me like I was oblivious.

I caught her look, "What?"

"You're oblivious to what's right in front of you." Margaret places a hand on my knee, "Don't you see the way he looks at you?"

I blink, repeating my words, "What?"

"Zee, I saw it when you two were younger, and I see it now." Margaret's smile didn't fade, "His feelings for you are so clear and are like no other, he cares about you- so much, I mean- his heart beats for you."

I scoff in disbelief, sitting up slowly, "That's embellishing."

"You may think that." Margaret nods once, "But, I know you feel the same about him."

"No, I don't." I denied, uncrossing my arms, "I don't feel anything for Alec- he pisses me off more than anyone I've ever met."

Margaret stares at me for a moment, "You don't think I saw how worried you got when Hodge said tracking Jace would be painful for Alec?"

I paused, shaking my head, "I've always been taught that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed- I wouldn't- I couldn't be stupid enough to fall into that."

"But, that's the thing- you can't help it." Margaret folds her hands together, "When they do the slightest of things- your heart leaps, your heartbeat races at the thought of them- or, you lose your breath when they walk into a room."

I stare at her; silent.

"Zee, that boy never gave up on you." Margaret continued, recalling, "When you disappeared, he spent- all this time, trying to find a lead- but, there was nothing, your father was too good-"

"And when you came back, you looked like yourself but you were someone else." Margaret went on, "And regardless, despite his lack of authority to do so, he still let you go- and was by my side when I convinced his mother to not throw you in the City of Bones until trail."

I could only muster out these words, "He's marrying Lydia, that's the definitive thing."

"Out of a sense of duty. not because of how he feels." Margaret points out, "Honey, he risked whatever relationship he had left with Jace for you."

My heart stopped at her words, as it hit me harder.

Margaret grabbed my hands, "Now, would be do all that for just- anyone?"

-

"Hey-" Raj's shouts filled my ears from the hall, as the door opened, "Hey, Alec!"

"Just-" Alec stopped him, sighing deeply, entering the room despite his protests, "Just wait."

Alec closed the door behind him, stepping further into the room, standing a few feet away from me, guilt in his eyes.

"Well, just the person I wanted to see." I sarcastically snipped at him, standing up from my slouched position, placing my hands on my hips.

When he doesn't react to my remark, I knew something was definitely wrong.

"What happened?" My hard expression fades, "Are you and Jace okay?"

"No- cur parabatai bond, it's just so weak." Alec sounded defeated, looking at the ground, completely still, "He's like a ghost."

I stepped closer to him, "You shouldn't have tried to track him back that- you're just putting more distance between you two."

Alec sighs deeply, muttering in a dejected tone, "Lydia and I thought we could stop the trial if we gave the Cup to the Clave."

I scoff in slight surprise, but wasn't buying it at all, "Lydia helped you?"

She was the one that arrested me.

"It doesn't matter." Alec walked past me slowly and sat down on the couch I was previously sitting on, his elbows on his knees, his hands folded, exhaling, "She has no choice but to go through with the trial now."

I faced him, looking down at him, "It's okay."

Alec looks up at me, the emotions striking on his expression not leaving, his eyes locked with mine.

"I know you tried- and that's all that matters to me." I exhale deeply and sat directly next to him, so close that our bodies touched.

For some reason, seeing him like this made my heart break into pieces.

I didn't like seeing him like this.

I felt my eyes begin to water just the slightest bit, wanting to throw myself in front of a bus for being so weak and soft.

I wasn't tearing up because of the trail, but because of how upset he had looked.

He looked defeated, hopeless and destroyed.

Alec stares at the ground, his voice quieter than usual, making me feel more for him, "I'm sorry."

I let out a deep breath, moving my hand under his arm, holding his hand and intertwining my fingers with his.

I leaned head against his shoulder, feeling him gently lean his against my head, "It's okay."

authors note:

lmao, zee threw herself out of a window for him

alec risked his bond for her

if they aren't goals, idk what is

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