I don't like it. Tough love, I mean. It's probably something I have an extreme distaste for, due to the very fact it makes me want to cower away, into a little tiny corner, like a mouse.

Don't get me wrong, I know this is just some people's ways of trying to show that they care. I appreciate it. But it doesn't help me, if you seem like you're angry with me. If you want to yell at me, and make me think about how my actions may be affecting you.

True. It might make me look like a bitch. It might make me look selfish, that I'm only thinking about myself. I hate feeling like those things, and with some people's reactions, it's just inevitable I'm going to feel the anxiety well up within me, and that doesn't help me.

Do I expect you to be happy with my actions? No, of course I don't. I know you would be upset. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you; cause you pain. The last thing I want is to pull you down with me, so we can be swallowed in darkness together. Tough love is the kind of thing that only makes me feel as if opening up is hurting you, and it only makes me want to run, like it's some kind of mistake. It makes me want to hide away.

I know it's a lot to ask, but all I can hope for is that you'll be patient with a mess like me. I know I'm pretty chaotic and all over the place, and I know I make you worry... But please, just try and go easy on me.

That's all I can ask for.