s a d n e s s

What is it? This feeling that seems to consume my soul out of nowhere.

The feeling that rips away the little happiness I have, like a thief in the night.

The night, sometimes I wish it were only restricted to the night like a nocturnal creature.

But no, here I am on a Monday afternoon feeling this heavy weight suffocating me.

I always feel like I am doing better, and that makes me smile but I don't think I really am. They say you can't appreciate any good days without the bad but I have lived in darkness for too long that reminders aren't necessary.

Yet the sadness calls me like a long lost daughter wanting to wrap me up in it's comforting arms. Is there a me without it? Or will I just forever have this little bit that denies happiness.

This dark flame that burns and burns until all happiness is destroyed in it's path.

I want to be happy at least I think I do but days like these, where tears threaten to fall and I wish I had someone to hold, are always lurking. Sadness wants to be home and maybe I should just live in it.