[86]
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Amanda:
So, I've been doing some thinking about your sexual offer, Harry.
And the conclusion I've comes to is - well, I have two conclusions, actually.
1: You want to have sex with me because you love me and I love you and we shall participate in coitus until our bodies are a sweaty, writhing mess.
And 2: You want to have sex with me because you are sexually frustrated and want to live up to your old nickname of Tarzan, where a ruthless jungle man penetrates the girl and screams out a Tarzan scream as you release your load.
Which of the two are have you got in your mind when you refer to sex?
Harry:
Christ almighty, you should REALLY let me read some of those stories you write in your spare time, Mands. I now know what I can expect.
Amanda:
Harry.
No.
Harry:
Hm, the top one. Number one.
I love you and you love me so what could be better than rolling hips together in sweet harmony as I say, "I'm proud to be able to call you mine," huh?
Number one, definitely...
Though, if you were into the sort of thing you described in the second option, I'll call out as much as you'd like me to.
Amanda:
It would be good to lose your virginity before you become a super star too.
Harry:
How so?
Amanda:
Because you'll have all the super models and actresses begging you to take them, and because you're all famous and envied by thousands of people round the world, it would be embarrassing for you to not know where the entrance to the vágina is :)
Harry:
Amanda, babe. Just how innocent do you think am I?
You honestly don't think I know where the downstairs is on a girl?
You've knocked my masculinity again, woman.
...
I'll show you. I'll show you EXACTLY where the opening to wonders is on the female body.
And you make it sound like we're not gonna be together if I'm famous! How dare you?!
Amanda:
Sure, Harry :)
Love you, but what if we broke up and it came to that situation.
Harry:
You can be so horrible :P
But I love it.
It turns me on.
Not that you don't turn me on any other time!
...
I mean, you're beautiful and such an incredible person so OF COURSE you get me all hot and bothered.
Like, ALL the time you make me horny.
No, no, no! That came out wrong.
...
Urgh, I think you know what I'm trying to say?
PLEASE know what I'm trying to say or else I'll be even more embarrassed....
Amanda:
I do, Harry! Calm down :)
But back to your favourite topic of sexual intercourse.
...
I'm up for it.
Harry:
You are?
Just like that? :O
Amanda:
Well, why not?
It's just a push and a pull.
A moan and a groan.
Some fun and some cum.
A chick and a dick.
Harry:
Holy shit.
Amanda:
Just to clarify, when I say 'chick and a dick' I mean a penis, not you being the dick as in some loser.
I love you too much to call you such a thing.
Harry:
You always insult me!
Amanda:
And I love you for being man enough to take it without being offended.
Harry:
Holy shit, I love you so much.
I kind of wish I didn't audition just so I could be with you for more time.
...
Mm, you've kind of made me even more excited.
Why are you teasing me like this?!
I should just march my little arse over to your place and take you on the couch.
...
Shit, sorry that wasn't nice of me to say.
I'm a gentleman!
Well ... I could also be a roughman if you'd like? ;)
Damn, sorry.
You know what? I think you should never mention sex to me again because it makes me want to do so many inhumane things to you.
Amanda:
And by inhumane you mean have sex with me?
Harry:
... Yes.
Amanda:
It's not inhumane, oh, my God.
It's the way of life.
... Perhaps the way of death if you were to do some weird fire play or some shit but yeah.
Harry:
...
Amanda?
Amanda:
Yes, Harry?
Harry:
Are you asking me to have sex with you?
Amanda:
I'm asking you to make a decision.
You said if I was up for it you would be too.
I'm up for it because I don't understand all these people who are like, "once it's gone, it's gone," or "I lost my virginity."
Harry:
*V-card.
Amanda:
HARRY!
Harry:
Sorry.
Amanda:
So yeah...
Harry:
I'm sure you once said that, did you not?
"When it's gone, that's it!" or something like that when I first brought it up...
Did you or was that a dream?
Amanda:
I can't even remember...
Who knows?
Harry:
So ... what does this mean?
Amanda:
It means, you're up for it and so am I.
You'll be off to London for the live shows of The X Factor soon, focusing on your career as a singer.
I say, let's do it.
Harry:
When?
Where?
How long?
Do you want me to bring some sexy saxophone soundtrack?
Ice-cream?
Amanda:
Ice-cream?
Harry:
Don't people eat ice-cream and stuff off of each other?
Amanda:
Maybe the second time round they do.
Harry:
Oh.
So ... when?
Amanda:
I said make sure you were free for the weekend, right?
Tomorrow is the weekend.
My parents are going to a BBQ at some friend's house. They should be gone for a while.
My place?
Harry:
Oh, my God.
Why do I have butterflies in my stomach?
I don't want to disappoint you...
Amanda:
You won't, you pansy!
Even if you're not good, how will I know as I've nothing to compare you with? :)
Harry:
True...
So, I'll see you tomorrow then?
Amanda:
Yes, you will.
Love you x
Harry:
I love you too.
Holy shit, I really do x
Ha, that rhymed.
Well shit...
Let me know what you think x
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