Clear skies and fluffy clouds. How could the earth not mourn? How could people happily move around without knowing that this world just lost the best person it had ever come to know? It seems like years since I heard him laugh or crack a joke over my wild style choices and knowing that I will never hear his voice again, feels like I was the one who had been slowly dying from cancer for six months.

We all knew this day was coming. Wes reminded me every day that he would not make it to his eighteenth birthday, but the funny thing about me is, I tend to be a false believer. I believed that one day it would be gone. The doctors would have magically found a cure and he would be cleared up of cancer by his birthday. I had the false hope that we would get married, have a family, and die of old age, but life had a different plan which leads to where I am right now.

I am rummaging through his room, my mom and dad are downstairs talking to Wesley's parents. I could not take it anymore. We came here to comfort the family after we had gotten the news that he passed, but how could I sit there and listen to his family mourning and stay strong, when inside I feel the same way?

I needed to go somewhere private. Somewhere personal where I could feel him again, smell him again, somewhere where he did not feel dead, because his sobbing parents and family downstairs were doing that already.

His room was the only place that still made him feel alive.

I wandered around his bed, smiling at how it was not made. He hated making his bed and his parents kept it that way. I respected how they left the room untouched as if he had left the house and would come back.

Sitting down on his bean bag chair, I felt something hard, like a book or something.
I shifted my position and pulled a notebook out from under me. I went to set it back down for his parents when I saw my name on the cover. Curiously I read, "To My beloved Abby."

It was for me.

Dear Abby

This is a book filled with letters I wrote for you. I will try to write everyday but there may be days where I can't. If not fill in the empty pages. I will skip them so that way you can write something there. I want this to be something we share together so that way you will never feel alone. I feel as though this will give you a piece of me that you will not get from anyone else and I really wanted to make sure I wrote you something personal . Only something me and you can cherish together. Know that I love you and I hope you love me back lol.

Love, Wes

With tears in my eyes I turned to the next page.