TWO. I MISS YOU, I'M SORRY
Being back in the Mercedes office was like being back to school on your first day, it was nerve wrecking and awful. Taylor missed this place but it felt wrong just by standing here, she was waiting for her father to finish some issues before they headed to Bahrain where the pre-seasons testing is held.
Taylor had talked via messages to her manager, since she grabbed her phone yesterday morning and turned it on again, messages flooded, her boss asking if she would continue to work on the unfinished music album, Taylor had told her she wasn't sure just yet, she needed time to calm the waters with her family before she began taking big steps. But that wasn't convincing enough that apparently the record label is thinking about dropping Taylor off. And that right there, is pressure. Pressure because how could she work on her career when her father had prohibited it.
"We ready kid." Her father's voice was heard behind her as Toto walked out the office. "Grab your stuff, the jet is waiting for us."
Taylor followed behind her father, her bags on hand and head low, she could've walked with confidence but her thoughts were making her feel off, as they made their way to the sleek black SUV waiting outside, Taylor's phone buzzed again in her pocket. She knew it was more messages—more pressure. The label, her manager, maybe even a few friends who were still wondering where she'd been. Ignoring them was easier. Focusing on her family, especially her father, was the priority, even if it meant pushing her passion to the side.
They drove in silence, the hum of the car engine the only sound between them. Taylor stole a glance at her father, his usual calm, focused expression set in stone. He was always like this before big events, methodical and controlled, unlike her whirlwind of emotions. She wondered if he ever noticed how much it cost her to be here, to balance her dreams with the expectations he placed on her.
"You alright?" he asked suddenly, not taking his eyes off the road ahead.
Taylor hesitated. "Yeah, just... thinking about things."
"Good," Toto replied, his tone neutral. "We've got a lot riding on this season. It's time to focus."
Focus. That word felt so heavy. Taylor knew her father meant the team, the car, the upcoming race, but her mind was elsewhere. She wasn't supposed to be here, immersed in the world of fast cars and engineering, but she couldn't do anything about it, she couldn't go back and be part of her still longed for the music studio, the melodies she hadn't finished, the songs still waiting to be recorded.
The SUV pulled up to the jet, and as they climbed the steps, Taylor's heart pounded in her chest. Bahrain was waiting, but so was her life outside of it—the music, her career, the dreams she had yet to chase. As they boarded the jet, Taylor felt the familiar rush of cool air from the cabin, but it did nothing to calm the storm inside her. She slid into her seat across from her father, who immediately pulled out his laptop, already deep into work mode. It amazed her how he could switch gears so easily, compartmentalizing everything that wasn't the team.
But that wasn't her. Taylor had never been able to shut off her thoughts like that. As the plane ascended, she found herself staring out the window, her mind drifting back to the studio. She could almost hear the half-finished melody from the last track she'd been working on. It echoed in her head, haunting her with its unfinished potential.
"I talked to Liliane Taylor, she will be guiding you with the whole social media agenda, I have no idea what you two are gonna do for this sessions, we also have planned a showing party at night, I hope you had packed something formal, apparently you'll be Lewis date for the event, so I expect you behave." His tone wasn't harsh, but it was firm—focused, as always. No room for error, no room for anything less than perfect, specially right now when she was coming back to the public eye.
"Got it," she mumbled, shifting in her seat. Being paraded around as Lewis Hamilton's date for a party wasn't exactly what she'd envisioned for her return, she knew how the media worked and the last thing Taylor needed was for especulations to begin. "Who else is gonna go?"
"Everyone honey, you know how these events work. It's not just racing on the track—it's everything around it. Appearances, partnerships, media... it all matters." Her father said glancing up from his computer to look at her.
Taylor nodded, trying to keep her voice steady. "Yeah, I know. I just wanted to make sure."
She didn't need to ask who "everyone" included. She already knew. The thought of seeing Max again sent a jolt of anxiety through her. He didn't know she was back, and the last thing she wanted was to catch him off guard in a public setting like this. She had left without explanation, broken his heart, and now, she had no idea what to say when she inevitably saw him.
Toto went back to his work, seemingly satisfied with her answer. His focus had shifted entirely to Mercedes and the upcoming event. For him, her role was clear: help with social media, show up at the party, and do what was needed for the team. Personal feelings? They didn't factor in.
Her hands gripped her phone tightly, the silence almost worse than anything he could've said. The idea of facing him tonight, without him knowing beforehand, made her chest tighten. She had run away before, but there was no escape now.
"Taylor, I need you focused tonight," her father said suddenly, cutting through her spiraling thoughts. "This isn't just a party. We need to make a good impression with the sponsors, and you'll be helping Liliane with the social media posts. I know you've been away for a while, but it's time to get back in the game, I know I am being repetitive about this, but after what you did," He sighed closing the computer. "Honey, I cannot have you make a little mistake, when people find out you're back, the attention will be on you, I don't want this to come off as rude, but you will be a distraction instead of the main focus which will be the sessions, the new car, everything."
"I know, I understand," she said, her voice a little too quick, a little too forced. But he didn't notice.
Toto nodded. "Good. Just stick to the plan and everything will go smoothly, if anything, you will be with Liliane and Lewis at the party, talk to them, I know how close you and Lewis are."
As the jet cruised toward Bahrain, she could feel the weight of the night ahead pressing down on her. She was expected to play her role for Mercedes, to support the team, but in the back of her mind, all she could think about was the moment she'd have to face Max—and all the unfinished business between them.
The jet touched down softly on the Bahrain runway, the low hum of the engines filling the cabin as they descended. Outside, the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the desert landscape. Taylor's stomach twisted as they taxied to a stop, knowing that soon she'd have to face not just the media and team, but also her past.
Her father was already packing up his laptop, his mind no doubt racing with logistics for the evening's events. "We'll head straight to the hotel," he said, his voice as steady as ever. "Liliane will meet us there to go over the social media strategy before the pre-sessions start. Make sure you're ready to go. We don't have much time."
They descended the stairs, her father leading the way with his usual confidence. A Mercedes SUV was waiting for them on the tarmac, and Taylor followed behind, her bags slung over her shoulder. The team's pace was always fast, efficient, just like her father had trained her to be. But she couldn't help feeling like she was dragging her feet, dreading what lay ahead.
The car sped through the city, the glitzy hotels and modern architecture of Bahrain whizzing by. Taylor could see the paddock area in the distance, the glow of lights signaling the start of pre-season. Normally, this was her favorite time—the anticipation before the action, the energy that filled the air as the teams prepped for the start of the season. But tonight, it felt different. Heavy.
They arrived at the hotel, and the pace quickened even more. As soon as they entered the lobby, Taylor saw Liliane waiting for them—her father's head of social media, a no-nonsense woman who had been with the team for years. She greeted them with her usual efficiency.
"Taylor, great to see you back. We've got a tight schedule," Liliane said, handing her a tablet. "I've already got a rough plan for the evening's social media posts, but I need you to help capture the behind-the-scenes moments. Focus on Lewis, George and the team's interactions with sponsors. I also need you to be active during the pre-sessions—it's all about building hype."
Taylor had met Liliane before but outside work, she was fun, energetic, loud, but this new face she was presenting was intimidating, Liliane is focused, serious, quick. "Okay, so I'll chnge quickly and I'll see you here in the lobby, we will drive together towards the circut." Liliane added before turning away and heading to answer some messages in her phone.
She hurried up to her room, quickly unzipping her bags and pulling out her clothes. Casual attire was the easiest choice for now—black jeans, sneakers, and of course, the Mercedes team shirt. She held it in her hands for a moment, feeling the familiar weight of it. Slipping it on felt like stepping back into a world she had tried to leave behind. The fabric was soft, but the memories it carried were heavy.
Taylor stood in front of the mirror for a second, adjusting her shirt and smoothing down her hair. She looked the part, but inside she felt like she didn't quite belong here anymore. With a deep breath, she grabbed her bag and made her way back down to the lobby.
Liliane was already there, waiting for her, her phone still in hand as she quickly typed away. When she spotted Taylor, her expression softened slightly, and a small smile appeared on her face.
"There you are," Liliane said, pocketing her phone. "Ready?"
Taylor nodded, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "Yeah, let's do this."
As they walked out to the car, Liliane seemed to ease up a little. "You know, it's good to have you back," she said, opening the driver's side door and gesturing for Taylor to get in on the passenger side. "I missed having someone to talk to who isn't all about racing 24/7."
Taylor smiled, feeling a bit of the tension leave her shoulders. "I missed it too, I guess," she replied, though the words felt a little heavier than she intended.
They pulled out of the hotel parking lot, the streets of Bahrain lit up with the golden glow of evening. The drive to the circuit wasn't long, but Liliane seemed happy to fill the silence. She was in her element, navigating through traffic with ease while keeping one hand on the wheel and the other occasionally gesturing as she talked.
"So," Liliane said, her tone a little lighter now. "Where did you go to? What happened?"
Taylor tensed, her fingers tightening around her phone. She had known the question was coming, but it still felt like a punch to the gut.
"I just... needed some time," she said vaguely, staring out the window as the city passed by. "I was dealing with a lot. Family stuff, personal stuff. It was hard to keep up with everything."
Liliane nodded, though she gave her a curious glance. "I get that. It's not easy balancing everything, especially when you've got the kind of pressure you had on you. Your dad can be... well, intense."
Taylor chuckled dryly. "Yeah, that's one way to put it."
"And what about Max?" Liliane asked, her voice dipping slightly. "I saw some headlines while you were gone. Is it true that you two broke up?"
Taylor's heart sank, a wave of emotions crashing over her. "Yeah, we did," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "It was complicated. I had to focus on my family and... everything else."
Liliane glanced at her, concern etched on her face. "That must have been hard. You two seemed really good together."
"Yeah, we were," Taylor said, the memories flooding back—moments of laughter, shared dreams, and the way Max's eyes had sparkled when he talked about racing. But then came the arguments, the distance that had grown between them as she struggled with her own identity. "But I just couldn't juggle everything. I thought it was best for him, for both of us."
Liliane's eyes widened, clearly taken aback. "Wait, really? He didn't know where you were either?" she asked, her voice laced with surprise, as if she was trying to piece together the intricate tapestry of Taylor's disappearance.
Taylor sighed, her thoughts a labyrinth of emotions she hadn't quite delved into herself. "No one knew," she admitted, her voice softer, almost lost in the air between them. "Well, Lewis knew... but that's because he's always been like a brother to me. I had to tell someone before I just vanished."
Liliane nodded slowly, as if she were trying to orchestrate the mosaic of Taylor's choices in her mind. "I see. That must have been hard on Max—being left in the dark like that. It's certainly not the easiest way to end things." Taylor's face dropped a little at those word and Liliane noticed. "I am sorry, I didn't mean that."
"No, it's okay, I imagined it would be hard."
Liliane glanced at her for a moment, her expression turning serious but still warm. "I really hope you get the chance to talk to him. Sometimes closure helps, even if it's tough to face."
Taylor nodded, but the thought of seeing Max again felt overwhelming—like stepping into a maze she couldn't find her way out of. "Maybe. But I have no clue what I'd even say."
"You'll figure it out," Liliane said, giving her a reassuring smile as they pulled up to the circuit. The bright lights of the track were like a magnet, pulling them into the familiar world of motorsport. The buzz of excitement was already in the air, and Taylor couldn't help but feel a mix of nostalgia and anxiety.
As they parked, Taylor stared out at the scene unfolding in front of her. The track was alive with energy, engines roaring in the distance. The pre-season testing was about to kick off, and she couldn't shake the feeling that being back here meant something more than just work. The past and present were colliding, and she had no idea where this journey would take her next.
Taylor took a deep breath as she stepped out of the car, the cool evening air mixed with the scent of fuel and rubber. This place had a way of getting under her skin—the excitement, the noise, the tension. Even after two years, the atmosphere was intoxicating.
Liliane glanced over at her, adjusting her bag over her shoulder. "You good?"
"Yeah," Taylor replied, though her heart was racing. "Just... getting used to being back, I guess."
Liliane gave her a knowing look but didn't press. "Well, let's ease you into it. We've got a couple of things lined up tonight—some social media content, behind-the-scenes shots of the team prepping for tomorrow. Simple stuff."
They headed toward the paddock, the noise growing louder as they walked through the bustling crowd. Mechanics were working on the cars, engineers bent over data screens, and drivers moving through their pre-race rituals. Taylor's eyes scanned the area, her stomach twisting at the thought of running into Max. It was only a matter of time before she saw him.
"You sure you're okay with all this?" Liliane asked as they approached the Mercedes garage.
Taylor nodded, forcing a smile. "I'll be fine."
Liliane shot her another reassuring look before they stepped inside. The familiar hum of the team at work surrounded them, and Taylor couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia. This had been her life once—so much of her identity wrapped up in the Mercedes garage, in the racing world.
She spotted Lewis across the room, laughing with some of the crew, his energy unmistakable. He caught her eye and gave her a wide smile, making his way over.
"Look who's back!" he greeted her, pulling her into a quick hug. "Good to see you, Tay. Feels like forever."
"Good to see you too, Lewis," she said, smiling despite the nervousness bubbling under the surface. His presence was comforting, as always.
"You ready for all this?" Lewis asked, his eyes searching hers, picking up on the tension.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Taylor replied, trying to sound more confident than she felt.
"Well, take it easy. You've got all the time you need to settle in," he said, his tone genuine. Then he shot her a teasing grin. "And don't worry, I've got your back if things get too intense."
Taylor laughed, feeling some of the weight lift. "Thanks, I might just take you up on that."
As Lewis was called away, Liliane tapped her on the shoulder. "Alright, let's get started with the content. We'll keep things low-key for tonight, don't worry."
Taylor nodded, but as she followed Liliane deeper into the garage, her mind kept drifting back to the inevitable moment when she'd have to face Max this night. Her stomach tightened at the thought. It wasn't just the awkwardness of seeing an ex—it was the way things had ended. She had left without a word, and Max had every right to be hurt, maybe even angry.
Liliane, oblivious to Taylor's internal turmoil, kept talking about the shots they needed to capture—the crew prepping the car, some behind-the-scenes clips, and a few candid moments with Lewis and George. The lights of the circuit were beginning to come on, casting long shadows across the asphalt. The noise of engines revving filled the space, bringing her back to the present.
As they reached the pit lane, Liliane busied herself with setting up a shot, and Taylor took a moment to glance around. Drivers and team members buzzed about, and for a second, she thought she'd spotted Max's helmet in the distance. Her heart skipped a beat, but when she looked again, he was gone, in fact, there was no sign of the Red Bull team.
Focus Taylor, you need to focus. She said to herself, setting everything ready and start filming, she had to do this, no matter how much she missed Max, or how sorry she was for breaking his heart. Taylor Wolff had to focus.
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